Chapter 4

Misaki came downstairs shortly after I had finished my second cigarette. He kept his head low so I couldn't see his eyes. I was pretty sure he was pissed… beyond pissed. In truth, I was a little pissed at myself for what I did. If Takahiro ever found out, he would kill me, even though he's not at all a violent man. However, this was his brother that he's taken care of for 10 years. He always has been and always will be overprotective of the boy. He would never forgive me for hurting his brother, and I certainly can't have him angry with me.

"Why don't we sit down in the den and we can chat?" I suggested to Misaki.

The boy didn't say anything. He kept his head down, but I could see a slight movement as he nodded. He went and sat on one of the couches in front of the coffee table while I went into the kitchen to prepare some tea. The least I could do now was be a kind host to the kid. Hopefully he wouldn't run home and tell Takahiro everything.

I came back out into the den with two mugs of tea. He finally lifted his head as I handed him his drink. His wide, emerald eyes didn't show any emotion. In fact, his face just kind of looked bored. He thanked me for the tea and took a sip before placing the mug down on the table in front of him.

Neither of us spoke, even after I had taken my seat on the couch on the other side of the table. Misaki just stared around the room, occasionally glancing at me as if to say 'Hey, old man, hurry up and help me pass my exams, will ya?' Even though I love the quiet, the silence between us was extremely awkward.

"So, I guess I'll start then," I finally said after a few long minutes. "Since you don't know me from a hole in the wall and I'm going to tutor you for a few months, let me tell you a bit about myself." I started to smoke another cigarette as I talked.

When I talk about myself, I somehow end up revealing way more than other people want to know. I have a bit of a narcissistic personality. So, I ended up telling the kid about how I grew up in England, excelled in school, became a successful author at a young age, and graduated Teito University at the top of my class. All of these facts just made him even more bored.

I switched gears and told him all about my obsession with the middle-class life. He had already seen the toy paradise that was my bedroom and my favorite bear, who I named Suzuki-san, was sitting right beside me on the couch. He had to have been wondering just what was wrong with me. Even as I introduced him to Suzuki-san, he still looked painfully uninterested.

Suddenly, he became very animated and pointed at me. "Ah-ha! Because you're the quintessential rich boy! I know how it is: the father who pays no attention to his family, the mother who neglects childrearing in favor of her hobbies, and also on bad terms with your older brother. So you grew up all alone. Those around you never notice how you feel and you go astray for a while, but in truth, you're just lonely."

I hid my shock from him. How did he know all of that? Of course, there's no way he could have unless Takahiro told him what I had told him about my past. I just don't see Takahiro as the type to talk about other people like that. If this kid is that smart, why isn't he doing well in school at all?

"To top it all off," he continued, "you have a red sports car and a long-haired dog, named Alexander!" He looked so smug and pleased with himself as he finished.

I stared blankly at him. "How did he you know that?"

His eyes became even wider, as if he couldn't believe that he was right. "Oh!" He smacked his hands together, clearly not finished. "Then I bet it's the same with your orientation, right? Your mother brought home a lover and you witnessed it. Ergo, you were traumatized! After that, women were no good to you. And that's when the nice guy who was tutoring you messed around with you, and made you realize that you had this side to you."

I almost lost my composure completely. Almost. I held it together by taking a big swig of tea. How in the world could he possibly know all that? My mother did cheat on my father, causing them to eventually divorce. And my senpai in England… the way the kid talked about him made senpai seem like a terrible person.

Senpai was a gentle man who helped me discover myself. He showed me my talent for writing and helped me discover my orientation. I had told him that I liked him a lot, but it was a different kind of feeling than with the girls in my class. He smiled and assured me that it was okay. Then he started touching me… and I enjoyed it.

Every time senpai would tutor me or we would play together, he touched me and made me feel good. He taught me how to touch him and make him feel good as well. He didn't go so far as to have his way with me, although I did want him to after a while. My parents divorced and I left England before things went that far with senpai.

The things I did with senpai followed me throughout my life. Sometimes I think that if my father had made us all live in Japan or if my parents would have gotten divorced earlier then I would have never met senpai and I wouldn't have done the things that I did in my life.

When I was sure the wall I had built around me wasn't going collapse, I put down the mug and said, "If people found out about that now, it'd be all over the papers."

Again, the brat's eyes went wide and he couldn't believe that he had me figured out. In truth, there was still a lot he didn't know… and he definitely did not need to know about. Still, the kid was really arrogant about it.

I have a feeling that, no matter what… I doubt we're going to get along. But for Takahiro's sake, I have to put up with him.

Misaki seemed to have the same depressed feeling that I had about the whole thing. He stared at the ground, not saying anything else. To me, it seemed like he did not want to be here at all.

Finally, I decided that I had enough with the past and that it was time to get on the author tutoring. "So, what school are you trying to get into?" I asked as I took another puff of my cigarette.

Misaki kept his head down as he spoke. "Mitsuhashi University."

I tried to hold back a laugh. Was he serious? With his grades? "Are you dreaming?"

He jumped up and started to yell at me, an angry fire growing in his eyes. "What the hell?! You piss me off at every turn! There's no way to know unless I give it a try!"

"But I do know. I looked over your answers to the mock exam before you got here," I admitted and held up his mock exam. "Putting aside your use of the wrong formulas and careless mistakes, the bigger issue is that you don't even understand the problems themselves."

The boy looked absolutely defeated as I told him this. I may as well have told him that he's dying of cancer. It's just a choice of colleges. How could not being smart enough for one college affect his life that much?

"Lower your sights. You can find an economics department at any school."

He stomped his feet on the ground as if he were a toddler throwing a tantrum. "Mitsuhashi! It absolutely has to be Mitsuhashi University!" His look then changed to one of absolute determination. "It's for my brother too! I am absolutely going to Mitsuhashi University! If I can't, then I'd rather not go to university at all!"

For Takahiro? Why would Takahiro have his hearts set on his brother going to Mitsuhashi? "Why did you bring up Takahiro?"

Misaki was suddenly taken aback. His anger was replaced with sadness as he sat back down on the couch. "You know too, don't you?" He kept his eyes on the floor, which I noticed was a common thing for him to do. "After our parents died in that accident 10 years ago, he was there every step of the way to raise me. Even though he'd been accepted to Mitsuhashi… Because of me, he gave up on Mitsuhashi and found a job."

I had almost forgotten about that… I was there at the funeral when Takahiro stepped up and declared that he would raise Misaki. Everyone tried to talk him out of giving up on college, but he's always been stubborn. I didn't realize that he was going to go to Mitsuhashi. In the aftermath of the death of his parents, he must have forgotten to tell me he had been accepted.

Now, the child that Takahiro had raised for 10 years wanted to go to Mitsuhashi, only because that's where his older brother, his caretaker, had dreamt of going. It was the most selfless act I had ever witnessed in person. This kid was so caring, at least for his brother. It actually really reminded me of Takahiro himself. I guess they really are brothers.

I was so moved that I stood up and walked over to Misaki. He stared at me with wide, questioning eyes before I gently ruffled his hair. He squirmed underneath my touch, most likely afraid that I would try touching him more.

"I understand your reason," I said with a grin. "If that's the case, we're absolutely getting you in! With Usami-sensei on your side, it'll be impossible for you to fail! Got it?"

He lifted his arms and grabbed his head where my hand had just been. A smile spread across his blushing face. "Y-yeah!"

"Then let's begin, shall we?"

I would make sure that this kid would pass his entrance exams and get into Mitsuhashi University. For Takahiro, I would do anything.

It took a lot of work, but I tutored Misaki almost every day. Sometimes he didn't understand the questions at all, but I somehow kept my patience and helped him through it. The kid was so determined to get into Mitsuhashi for his brother. It was a beautiful act of love.

It was hard at first. At one point I thought he had given up working with me after I compared him to his brother. He stopped coming to tutoring sessions for a few days. On the fourth day, a lot of snow had built up and the trains weren't running. I drove to the train station on a hunch that he would arrive and see that. He was very embarrassed when I found him. I didn't dare tell him that I had come just to pick him up, but I did apologize for my behavior.

Right after that, Misaki taught me how to make snowmen. We made so many of them. I hadn't had that much fun in a long time.

It was then that I began to notice a change in both of us.