Hi, so I'm a lazy updater and I have no excuse. So, as way to apologize to whoever still bothers to read my story, I'm posting the next two parts. I hope to update more soon ;) Anyway, here's the story and a very special thanks to Anjali for beta reading this story.

Chapter VI

Derek Shepherd was not a happy man. At least he wasn't today, not after his conversation with Meredith. Part of him wanted to be really pissed off at the fact that Meredith couldn't understand why he felt a responsibility towards Addison. He was trying to be a good guy, he was trying to help Addison through the most difficult time of her life, and Meredith wasn't even trying to understand.

On the other hand, he could understand where Meredith was coming from. Addison was his ex-wife, and here he was, telling his girlfriend not only that he wanted to be friends with her, but that he wanted to help her out with her baby. Meredith being pissed was, if anything, way too logical.

But there was more than that. This was not only his hero complex. This was something he felt he HAD to do. Even if he never did a good deed again, he needed to do this for her. Not only for her…

"I don't wanna go, mommy!" four-year-old Derek Shepherd wailed as his mother carried him in her arms. It was his first day of preschool and he thought he had made a pretty convincing case of why he didn't want to go.

Apparently not as good as he thought, considering he was going to preschool either way.

"Come on, Derek, you'll love it." Beatrice Shepherd tried to calm down her son as he tried to free himself from her arms and, she guessed, make a run for it.

"No!" he cried out, finally breaking free. Before his mom could catch him, he had run to the front patio, trying to decide his next move. He was not allowed to cross the street unless he was holding an adult's hand, so his options were quite limited.

"Whatja doing?" another boy called behind him. Derek turned to the other child. He was a bit taller than Derek and he was wearing a pair of jeans and a Spiderman T-shirt. And he was looking at Derek quite curiously.

"Running."

"Why?"

"Cause school stupid!" Derek defended his actions, as if they were so clear that no further explanation was required.

"How you know?" the boy asked, and Derek didn't know what to say, considering he had never spent a whole day at school yet.

"I just do. And Spiderman's stupid too!" Derek decided that was a nice comeback to the boy who had questioned his knowledge of school. He puffed out his chest for effect, so the other boy could see his Superman t-shirt.

"Na-ha! Superman's stupid!"

"No way!"

"Way!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Derek!" He turned as he heard the unmistakable voice of his mother coming towards him. He sent a withering look at the Spiderman-lover who had caused him to get caught on his freedom run and walked towards her mother.

"I don't wanna go, mom!"

"I'm sorry, Derek, but you have to. You'll have fun, alright? You'll play and learn new things and you're going to make tons of friends."

"I wanna go home!" Derek whined, and all Beatrice could do was kiss his forehead and make sure he stayed in the classroom this time. By the time the teacher was in front of the class, easing the kids into their new environment, all the parents had started to leave. Derek gave his mother one last sad look before turning back to his new teacher. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed him again. Spiderboy… he was with a woman, his mom probably, and she was kissing him and telling him to have fun. After the woman left, the boy started looking for a place to sit. As fate would have it, he ended up sitting next to Derek. While the teacher was taking attendance, the boy turned to him.

"Spiderman would kick Superman's butt, anytime!" he exclaimed smugly.

"Would not!"

"Would too!"

"Would not!"

"Would…"

"Mark Sloan," the teacher called, causing the boy to stop arguing with Derek and raise his hand.

"I'm Mark!" the boy exclaimed, with a wicked glint in his eyes.

Derek had to smile at the memory. He had spent way too many a day arguing with Mark about Spiderman and Superman. That was the first of a long sequence of points they had never managed to agree upon: Mark said Spiderman, Derek said Superman; Mark said chocolate ice cream, of course Derek would say vanilla; Mark had wanted to go to Paris to celebrate their high-school graduation, but Derek was adamant about going to Rome. Derek should have really suspected something was up when they both agreed red-heads were hot.

He had been furious at Mark and Addison for the longest time. But now that just seemed so irrelevant… he had moved on with Meredith, Mark and Addison had moved on together, and now his best friend since he was four years old was dead. And he loved Meredith, he really did, but he had to be there for Addison. His only brother was dead, with plans and hopes and a bright future no longer ahead of him. Mark had been a man on a mission; he was doing everything he could to become a decent man, someone his son would be able to admire and want to be like as he grew older. But he had never had the chance. He was gone. He had left behind the woman he loved and the child he dreamed about. The only thing Derek could do was be there for both of them.

He had managed to convince Addison to let him help her, and now he had to convince Meredith that this was the right thing to do.

Meredith Grey practically ran down the halls, trying to reach an empty on-call room. Once her mission was accomplished, she locked herself in the small room and promptly slipped down onto the floor, her head in her hands. What was happening? After everything that had happened, her precious McDreamy couldn't let go of his past. When she decided to be with him, she'd known he had baggage– she had baggage too. She was not just a girl and he was not just a guy, but that was okay with her. Derek was worth the fight and the pain and everything that came along, because there was no doubt in her mind that Derek Shepherd was the love of her life.

But she didn't know how to hold on to that love any more. She knew that she would leave anything and everything for Derek, and she had just assumed that he would do the same for her. But apparently she had been wrong; Derek seemed unable to let go of his past and the people in it. She sighed, knowing she shouldn't be feeling or acting like this, that she should be the bigger person and not object to his "friendship" with Addison. Still, she was freaking out and she was throwing a temper tantrum and she felt kind of entitled.

She was still reviewing her last conversation with Derek in her head when the door to the on-call room opened.

Of course Addison would choose this on-call room at this moment, she thought to herself. She knew she shouldn't be upset at Addison either. Still, she didn't have a good grip of her feelings at the moment, and she knew she wasn't particularly happy to see Addison step into the on-call room.

"Hi." Addison smiled uneasily, which made Meredith suspicious.

"Hi." The silence between the two of them was deafening. Addison was standing by the door, Meredith was sitting on a bed, and they were both staring at the floor.

"I just came to…" Addison started, motioning to the bed.

"Yeah! Yeah, of course..." Meredith motioned for Addison to sit on the bed in front of her. The older woman sat down and took a deep breath.

"Long day."

"Yeah, I guess. It's really good that you're back."

"Yeah. It's good to be back."

"Izzie must be glad you're back at Neonatal."

"Yeah, she did a great job these past few weeks. Everything's great here." Silence again. Meredith didn't know what to say anymore. She wanted to directly ask Addison what was going on between her and her boyfriend, she wanted to yell at Addison that this was her chance with Derek, hers. 'Addison and Derek' was over. They had been 'Meredith and Derek' for a long while and she was standing her ground, she was not giving Derek up.

She loved Derek, she was going to fight for him, and she was ready to tell Addison.

But… she could see the dark circles under Addison's eyes. She noticed the sadness that had settled in her face after Richard Webber and Derek Shepherd entered her office to tell her that her husband was dead. She could see how beaten down Addison was and how forcibly she was trying to keep it together.

"Look… I'm not going to ask if you're okay… you're not. But just… anything you need, we're all here to help you out." Meredith noticed Addison's expression change after she spoke. She seemed more distant that before, as if she was trying her hardest not to let anything slip from her façade.

"Thank you,." was all Addison whispered after Meredith's words. She clearly wasn't ready to talk about everything that had happened, and Meredith guessed she had a lot of people asking her about it, especially on her first day back at work. She didn't want to be one of them. She knew what it was like to lose someone and grieve. Addison needed her own time, and would open up when ready.

"Okay. I gotta go. Take some rest." Meredith smiled as she made her way to the door to give the other woman some privacy.

"Meredith?" She stopped when she heard Addison's voice calling out her name, turning to face her.

"Yes?"

"Did Derek… talk to you?" Addison asked tentatively.

"Yeah," was all Meredith answered, leaving Addison in the on-call room by herself. She knew she was not completely fine with the situation, she was confused about her feelings and still didn't feel comfortable alone in a room with Addison. Still, she knew she didn't hate the other woman.

She just wished she understood how she was feeling about everything else.

::You know, you keep saying I shouldn't come up, but she probably needs me right now…::

"I'm not saying she doesn't, Roan. I'm just saying that she's so confused at the moment that maybe having you here would be too much." Derek Shepherd was rubbing his eyes as he leaned back in the chair behind his desk. He had been on the phone with Addison's brother for fifteen minutes already.

::That's funny, you make it sound as if I'm the one that screwed around with her life. I'm her big brother, my job is to take care of her.::

"I'm not saying that, Roan."

::Then what the hell are you saying, Shepherd?:: This was why he hated Addison's brother.

"Look, what I'm saying is that Addison is sick of people walking around her asking her if she's all right. If you come to Seattle right now, she'll break. She hasn't broken yet, she's not ready to discuss Mark yet. if you come here, she won't be able to keep it together." Derek tried to explain.

::She shouldn't be keeping everything inside right now.::

"She's not. She's taking small steps, Roan. Believe it or not, she has people she can depend upon here."

::So what? Now you're the guy she can depend upon?"

"I was her husband, Roan!"

::And look how well that turned out, Derek!::

"That's in the past," was all Derek could muster, feeling the sting of Roan's comment.

::Yeah, that's what you say, man. But here's what's happening: my baby sister's husband died, she's alone and pregnant and messed up. She won't talk about it, she's in freaking Seattle when all her friends and family are in New York, and you say I shouldn't come. You. The guy that broke my sister's heart and divorced her. She's alone, and I'm supposed to assume you are the one who's going to be taking care of her?::

"I love Addison, Roan."

::And a lot of good that did her in the past.::

"Look, you know nothing about us, okay?!" Derek started yelling, "You show up at her door once a couple of years. You know nothing about her life!"

::I'm her family! I'm her brother!::

"Be that as it may, I'm here right now and I'm telling you, she's not ready to deal with everything yet."

::And I'm telling you, you have no right to tell me not to come be with Addison.::

"I'm trying to do what's right for Addison and her son!"

::No you're not! Just because you and Addison never had any children,,,!::

"I'm hanging up now!"

::Yeah, of course you are. That's you Shepherd. Running away when someone says something you don't like. That's why I don't want you near Addison.::

"You know what, Roan? Do whatever the hell you want. If you care as much about Addison as you claim, you'll give her some space!" With that, Derek hanged up the phone, fuming.

They had never gotten along well. Not even when he and Addison were dating. Roan had always been overprotective of Addison. Growing up, they had only had each other to rely on. All everyone saw with Roan and Addison Forbes Montgomery was a bunch of rich names. They never knew how screwed up their home had been. They were from a rich family, but it was hardly a happy home. Their lives hadn't been normal until after their mother married their stepfather, Sean Montgomery, when Addie was five and Roan ten. But even after that, Roan felt it was his responsibility to take care of his baby sister and wasn't particularly impressed when a cocky med-student entered her life.

Years after, Derek had partially proven Roan's misgivings right when he and Addison broke up. He knew Addison loved her brother to death. Roan had been her first hero, before her stepfather, before Derek and before Mark. But right now, Addison was doing her best to keep it together, and having Roan here trying to push her into opening up when she wasn't ready was not a good idea.

"Who were you talking to?" Meredith's voice broke him from his reverie.

"Meredith."

"You sounded pretty mad."

"Just… some guy that I hate. What…? What are…?"

"I love you," Meredith stated plainly. Derek didn't know how to respond initially, considering their last conversation.

"I love you, too," he managed.

"I trust you."

"Okay."

"I'm not okay with it," she confessed.

"I know," she sighed.

"But I understand that you have to do this." With that, Meredith left, leaving Derek sitting by his desk.