Snowflake Trailer

In times of need, one might find that being unique isn't about standing out, but standing true.

Steps. This rhythmic noise was echoing through the street, not allowing silence to settle down for the night. Not yet, there's still work to be done. Long and proud steps, worriless and unaware; small and timid steps, eager, yet afraid. Only one of them knew about the other, and only one of them was the prey, whiles the other the predator. The long steps have hastened, running out of time, and sure enough, the small steps have hastened in response. The pace must be kept. The cover must be kept. As long as the timid steps hide under the noise of the proud ones, the beautiful ones, the stealth will be maintained. Masked.

Heavy pounding came alive in the small chest. Is this wish too big for her? Is she shooting too high? Space is large, infinite, so if she can't hit the star, she will end up in the dark emptiness. Got to try. Got to attempt. Why worry about missing your mark, if you never even begin? A large breath, calming purposes. Got to stop this shaking in the body. The pounding won't stop, it grows in strength, about to burst the heart. Hold it in, or else it will very well just jump out and escape. Run for it and leave you astray. Why would a heart do that? Because it fears.

There is the door. Quick, stop thinking, now or never! Before he goes through! Pick up the pace, chop-chop, enough hiding already, he won't notice you here in his shadow. Well, any less than he already does, but you get my point. Not very uplifting? He's the little rabbit and you are the big bad wolf. Pounce!

As the boy drew closer to his home, lock within arm's length, a strange voice he has heard from behind, something akin to a call, although he did not understand. Was it a monster? Some kind of evil presence lurking in these empty streets at this hour? He turned around, expecting to defend himself, but instead of a demon, he found only his familiar neighbour there.

"Sandra?" he called her name, surprised.

The meek girl immediately jumped at this. He noticed! Nowhere to hide now, there's no button for escaping this encounter. Got to be courageous, got to pounce! Speak now, or forever hold your say; announce your feelings the way you have prepared:

Mute gasping.

'What are you doing!?' her thoughts were screaming.

Looking at her childhood friend, the boy could easily tell that something was off. Sandra's face was redder than usual, and even her freckles were burning, acting as beacons for her bashful embarrassment.

"Are you alright?" he asked with care.

'Words! You have got to use words!' The girl's thoughts were furious. All of this build-up to this very point, and she can't even mutter a single 'I like you'. No, a simple 'Hello'! Why wait for the boy you want to be with to leave his club activities, stalk him home through the night, only to fail miserably at the end!? That will not make you look like a good person. 'Words, where are you? Do not abandon! Letters, one after the other! You can do this!'

Unintelligible gibberish.

'Letters in sequences, for crying out loud!'

That's it. She will die. She will die right here. That pavement looks comfortable, maybe if...

'No, no, no; what are you thinking? Get yourself together, girl!'

Silence. Awkward silence. What to do, this is a death sentence.

'What to do... There is only one thing you can.'

Speak. Speak out. Shout out. Say it loud! Scream it from the depths of your throbbing heart! Remember, no turning back. Hit or miss. But you will never hit if you don't risk the miss.

Deep breath. Clear mind. Ice blue eyes filled with determination, yet hiding behind those glasses. Open up your mouth and free your feelings. Here goes nothing!

"So you have fumbled after all?" her friend has asked, enjoying a fine cup of tea across the table.

Sandra was defeated. She was slouching over the dining table, face-down and ready to hide the shame, mostly unfeathered by the loud noise the crowd of students have made. In fact, in this chaos she had found a helpful cover to disappear behind. The mess hall was filled to the brim with people, both hungry and thirsty from a long day of study, so who could potentially notice a heartbroken girl in the middle of everything...

She couldn't say it. For all her resolution, she had failed to say it. She did not hold her chest tight enough; her heart ran away after all... quickly followed by herself. Poor choice, good excuse.

"What's with the moody atmosphere?" another girl has asked, settling down as the third wheel to the two good friends.

"Love," the other girl answered instead of Sandra, who merely muttered something into the table.

"What, she got dumped?" the question arose, to which Sandra let out a painful groan, again into the table. Good table. It listens well.

"She dumped herself."

"Ouch. Hey, did you at least give him your present? You've been skipping meals recently just to afford it. I know Signal's food isn't that much a crime to miss, but that's some devotion if I've ever seen any."

Sandra merely rolled her forehead on the table, nodding in a negative manner. Still in her bag. Her friends sighed, unable to make anything of the situation. Both of them were older than the young freshman here, but even they could not offer the help that Sandra was seeking. She needs to grow stronger. No, not stronger. Assertive? Confident? What is the right word... Perhaps this not a choice of 'or' but 'and'. Assertive and confident... She could already see the time she will spend just thinking about this.

'Isn't that right, table? Can you hear my thoughts?'

'You're going insane...'

Nope, that was not the table. Still her own thoughts, responding to this sad show. Figures. Tables can not talk.

'Okay, stop that!'

Having had enough of being a crazed table lady, Sandra rose up from the chair in a sudden impulse of energy. If improving her life takes growing out of her shell, she will do it! These thirteen years were enough spent hiding in corners and behind book covers; it was high time she took the initiative.

Silence. Why the sudden silence? Oh gosh, is everyone watching!? Was she thinking out loud? Someone, relieve, answer! Even her friends were struck speechless by the commotion she had unknowingly caused behind her back. The girl slowly turned around, fear in her ice blue eyes, and was a witness to a scene, which was straight out of her nightmares: as she stood up, her chair went rocketing backwards, crashing into another student and knocking the plate of food right out of her hand.

'Yep... Feel free to curl up and die any time you wish, little me.'

Crimson red eyes glared back at her, although with more confusion than anger.

"Care for an explanation?" the victim of this crime has asked of the startled girl, surprisingly calm, and then checked on her own clothes and hair, to see if none of this messy food had found shelter on her body.

"I'm sure she did not do that on purpose!" a friend of Sandra has jumped in, apologetically speaking in her stead. She understood very well how Sandra will just lock up under this kind of stress.

Taking one short glance upon Sandra, this shy, meek and unknown existence, the redhead gave a voice to her thoughts:

"Oh, of that I am sure of," she said, dusting off her blood red jacket just for the sake of it. "She could not hurt anyone, much less dare."

"So, is it alright?"

The hopeful question was met with a sharp and unforgiving answer.

"I wonder, given how my lunch is ruined." And it was such a promising dish too. "Accident or not, the damage is done." She shoved the older girl out of the way and met with the perpetrator face-to-face. They were about the same height, so eye contact was leveled, but in contrast to the redhead's tan skin, Sandra was a lot more pale, frightened. Those unnaturally red irises were staring directly into her soul, trying to force the sheepish girl into submission. Was not a hard task to accomplish. "Tell me, how do you intend to compensate?"

"And then you just ran away!"

Her friend was so furiously loud that Sandra had to hold her scroll as far away from her ears as possible. She knew; she was sorry, she's horrible. Nothing will make her forget this lengthy scolding she had just received, not even this blanket she was hiding under, safe within the confinements of her room. A wide variety of books, colourful posters, everything that screams 'This is Me!'. Bookshelves, a cyan curtain and a comfortable bed of the same colour. A soft, circular rug. A room of her own design. Home.

"Are you listening?"

Yes, ouch, how could she forget; she's in the middle of a conversation - albeit pretty one sided. She even skipped school after that shameful run. But, what else could she have done? There was no way she could have stood that piercing red gaze, and neither the consequences. No way... No... way... Running is much more easy.

After a brief reply from Sandra, a sign that she is still alive on the other side of the call, her friend let out a tired sigh. Always the worry...

"That red haired girl had left you a message." A message? This fact alone has raised Sandra's interest. "While she couldn't catch you, she had caught our little talk before. She said: It is all right to keep on running, but you should always mind just which direction you are heading. She then added: If you do not like the direction, yet you keep on going, that is when you need to change."

Change. A need of change...

'I know!' she shouted inside her mind in a quick spike of anger. She even threw off the blanket, the betrayer. 'I already know that, this is no news!' Her thoughts were a mess, unable to figure out the right course of action. 'The question isn't what to do, but how to do.'

Dealing with the sudden turmoil in her soul, Sandra took a glance at the large mirror hanging down from her wall. In it, she saw a powerless and scared little girl, shaking behind those freckles, and with an empty look in those icy eyes, lost without a purpose. Even her short, light brown hair was a mess, ruffled by that blanket.

And she was sitting alone.

'Reality is a painful medicine,' she came to the realization. Red's right. This might be her last and only chance to get this sorted out. The question isn't how to change, she was no longer believing this delusion, but when to do it. 'And when?' she thought. As soon as she finds a working pen and some paper...

"Teach you?" the redhead has asked, absolutely surprised, which was rare on her part. She was sitting in the middle of her classroom during the break, surrounded by fans and friends alike, and that is when Sandra came up to her with a hand written paper. "And you even wrote a contract?" It was mere yesterday when this chick cut her off from her meal, then ran off like a criminal in plain sight. And now she came right into her own den and territory, unarmed and shaking, hoping for a positive response? Gutsy!

Sandra let out a broken giggle. Yea, this whole contract idea sounded a lot better in the heat of moment last night. But, there is no backtracking from here, it can't get any more embarrassing than yesterday's display. Actually... as every of the redhead's classmates were looking directly at her, this foreign presence in their castle, it got her thinking...

'It absolutely can get more embarrassing! Time to run! No, you don't! Yes, I do! No, you do not!'

"So, Sandra Snow, what's the deal here?"

'Calm the mind. Take deep breaths and calm the mind. You seek reforms, you want to find your way out of the dark. Speak out! Cry out! Let your true feelings rise into the sky! This time... This time you have to take the first step.'

"What are you hoping to achieve under my tutelage? Do you wish to change your future, or do you wish to change your past?"

"I wish to change my present!"