Title: If You Were Gay
Author: ferretgirl1124
Rating: PG-13
Pairing(s): One sided SpeedyxAqualad
Genre: Romance, humor
Warning: Slash, singing, Avenue Q, pranking
Disclaimer: The pretty boys belong to DC, the songs to Avenue Q. I just steal them from time to time.
Word count: 490
Theme and Number: #17 - Singing
Summary: A prank goes a little too far.
A/N: Because every slash author needs a story to this song.
"Hey Speedy, why don't you have a girlfriend?"
Speedy choked on his soda, then gaped at Aqualad. Where the hell did that come from?? "W-what?"
"Girlfriend. You don't have one. Why?" The Atlantean repeated calmly, one dark eyebrow arching slightly.
"I heard what you said, fish boy! It was an exclamation of surprise, not confusion!"
Aqualad smirked and leaned back against the couch, not at all flustered by the nickname. "Intriguing. That doesn't answer the question, though."
The redhead blushed and scowled, hands drifting towards his bow, just in case he had to make a swift exit. "What's it to you?"
"Still didn't answer the question."
"You answer mine first!"
"I asked before you."
"Dammit fish stick!"
"Why won't you just answer the question?"
"I do have a girlfriend!"
The Atlantean blinked, then smirked. He certainly hadn't expected that answer, but it was fairly obvious that the archer was lying, so it was all right. "Oh really?"
"Yes! Her name is Alberta, and she lives in Vancouver!"
"You know, that sounds like a song Star made me listen to once…"
Speedy flushed again, his face now blending in quite nicely with his hair. "I don't know what the hell you're talking about!"
"Uh-huh." Aqualad grinned and stretched along the couch cat like, his hands planting firmly on Speedy's knees as he pulled forward, not stopping until they were nose-to-nose and he could feel the archer's frantic breath on his lips. "You know, Roy, if you were gay, that'd be okay."
"W-what? What the hell are you doing, Garth??"
The Atlantean smiled slyly and cocked his head to the left, not bothering to move away. "You don't have to get all defensi-"
"I am not getting defensive!" Roy scrambled back against the couch, managing only to push himself into the cushions, resulting in the other boy practically looming over him.
"You know, if you were queer, I'd still be here."
"…wha?"
The dark haired boy nodded seriously, moving his hands up until they were beside Roy's ribs, snuggling closer. "Year after year, because you're dear to me."
Roy gaped at his teammate. He had no idea what was wrong with him, but the Atlantean was practically singing the words now, and acting as if nothing strange was going on. Maybe that last battle had jarred his brain or something…
"And guess what, Roy?"
The archer twitched, and then gave in. "What?"
"I know you would accept me too."
"…I would?"
"Mhm." Garth smirked. "If you were gay, I'd shout 'hurray!"
Blinking, Roy twitched again, and then dropped his head back against the cushions, cheeks red. "G-garth!"
"It's okay, you were just born that way."
"I am not gay!!"
"If you were gay." Garth ended cheerfully, then sat up and brushed his hair out of his face. "And if you ever change your mind, come see me, okay?" With a wink the Atlantean left, leaving behind a bemused, befuddled, and bewildered teammate, never realizing that his payback for the 'fish slipped into the stew' prank had hit upon the truth.