A/N: Don't get used to this update schedule, I'm crossposting this one and I forgot to update chapter 4 over here. In the meantime, consider the double update an apology gift for stuffing up the formatting of chapter 4 first time around.

Chapter 5:

Eggsy reckoned he was starting to feel how Alice might have felt falling down the rabbit hole.

Because he'd gone pretty deep underground following a stranger, and now that he was here, he was surrounded by some pretty bonkers shit.

The planes and cars in the great big hangar were fucking wicked though.

He followed Igraine through a narrow grey corridor, and then she stopped at a door that had a slightly more worn handle than the ones preceding it. Otherwise, it was unmarked.

She gave Eggsy an impish smile that didn't quite reach her calculating eyes, and ushered him in, calling out, "Merlin! Got your fresh meat!" she ushered him in, and then sauntered off, her footsteps nearly silent in her leather loafers. (Odd, thought Eggsy, a sharply-dressed fashionplate like that choosing granny shoes over heels? Though he supposed that maybe she just wanted to be comfortable whilst she was working on her feet all day- he had seen the blisters that his Mum and a few of his female acquaintances had gotten from their fashionable shoes, so in retrospect maybe it wasn't so odd at all.)

Eggsy looked through the door to see a familiar bald head and broad shoulders leaning over a table, soldering something.

The man looked up, and cracked what almost might have been the ghost of a smile. "Eggsy! Glad you could make it."

Merlin watched Eggsy relax minutely upon recognising him, pasting on an easy smile in greeting.

Normally, this was the time that Merlin would make a threat. Normally, this would be the part where he explained the confidentiality clause, and how if one wanted one's next-of-kin to not end up in a body-bag, one would keep one's bloody trap shut. Eggsy had been let into Kingsman's inner sanctum, and whether or not he fully realised it yet, that was the point at which the real testing began, no matter what role was intended for you.

But Merlin looked at Eggsy, saw the well-earned wariness behind the bright beam he gave him, considered what he had learned of his character since they had met in front of the police station, and knew two things.

The first, was that if he wanted to actually earn Eggsy's trust, then he was going to have to be careful. Here was a boy, no, a young man, who was used to being kicked when he least expected it. He would be waiting for the other shoe to drop, and it was up to Merlin to be ready to do damage control when that inevitably happened, one way or another.

The second, was that he wanted to earn Eggsy's trust. It wasn't just that Eggsy was Lee's legacy (and Merlin was well-aware of the debt there) it was that he could see that Eggsy was practically brimming with potential. Merlin trained the Kingsman candidates, not just because he was the best man for the job, (and he very much was) but because it gave him great satisfaction to hone the usual bunch of privileged brats into the best weapons they could be.

(The useless ones tended to break, and Merlin rarely felt a qualm about discarding them. They should have known what they were signing up for. Regardless of how James and Harry acted some of the time, being a Kingsman agent was hardly a game.)

But the way Merlin managed that, was through his skill at reading people.

And reading Eggsy, Merlin could tell that if he earned Eggsy's trust completely, then, and only then, would he get the best out of him.

Merlin had always enjoyed challenges.

But there was taking on a challenge, and then there was taking on a challenge with a concussion.

Merlin suspected that if he wanted to win Eggsy's loyalty and respect, he was going to need to keep his wits about him.

He put down the soldering iron in a rest, and unplugged it from the wall before walking over, inspecting Eggsy from head to toe in a way that made him feel a bit like he was back at bootcamp with the drill sergeant checking his dress uniform.

"Is this how you like to present yourself to the world?" Merlin asked him bluntly.

Eggsy looked down at himself and shrugged.

"What do you see when you look at me?" he asked.

Merlin's brow furrowed slightly as he considered. "A puffed up young ruffian who is looking for some attention," he stated bluntly.

Eggsy nodded, shifting his weight from his toes to his heels and back again.

"So I look a bit shifty, but not real sneaky, right? And if you hadn't had a gander at me school records, you'd probably think I was a bit of a dimwit, yeah?"

Merlin nodded slowly.

Eggsy spread his hands and took a mocking bow.

"You and everyone else bruv, so don't be too 'ard on yerself for 'avin' prejudices. Which frankly, in my line of work, has often suited me right down to the ground, because people never suspect the brightly coloured chav to have a brain in his head. And even if I slip up, a quick follow up with some mouthing off, and most will just let their confirmation bias kick in, and then they'll either see my slip up as a blip, or as some evidence of animal cunning or something."

"'Confirmation bias'?" Merlin repeated.

Eggsy recognised his real question and scoffed. "We might be skint in the council estate bruv, but we still get library cards, internet access and BBC on the telly."

Merlin conceded that point with an inclination of his head. "And don't think I missed that comment about your line of work. Feel any particular need to enlighten me?"

Eggsy grinned to hide the way that the look in Merlin's eyes kinda made him want to run and hide under the bed. He'd long learnt that the most important survival lesson was to never show fear to a predator. Even if they could tell you were full of it, they respected a show of bald-faced bravado over pissing yourself.

"Oh, don't you worry your shiny head about that bruv," Eggsy babbled, almost instantly regretting his choice of epithet, but ploughing on doggedly nonetheless. "You've done me a solid, so I won't pull any of that shit on you 'less you really really ask for it, yeah?"

Instead of throwing Eggsy against a wall or something, (Eggsy did not doubt for a second that the man was capable of it, those shoulders looked broad under that prissy jumper,) Merlin just rolled his eyes. "Cheeky shit. Just keep in mind that if you try any cons around here, you're conning people who plan or act out elaborate lies for a living, and I mean that both in the sense of they get paid to do it, and if the field agents don't do it well, they might end up maimed or dead."

(Eggsy resisted the urge to tell Merlin that it sounded like he was talking about Wednesday night on the council estate. A magician never revealed all of his secrets, and whatever it was Eggsy had stumbled into, he had a feeling that revealing his full deck might be a bad idea.

…And to be fair, Merlin continued to be one of the scariest bastards that Eggsy had ever met just based on the vibes he was giving off, so really, maybe he had a point. Either way, it wouldn't hurt to get the lie of the land first.)

"Consider the message received. So," Eggsy said, clapping his hands together. "What's this Kingsman gig all about then? I got a couple of ideas, but if it's all the same to you bruv, I'd rather you just came out and explained what the hell it is that you want me to do here. 'Learn a trade', yeah? What trade you going to teach me?"

Merlin paused for a moment, clearly taking the time to choose his words, keeping eye contact with Eggsy.

Eggsy held his gaze, and tried to not think too hard on how it made him feel like he was looking into the eyes of some kind of falcon who would happily savage him if given sufficient reason.

"Eggsy, you once made the choice to serve your country," Merlin said.

Eggsy immediately dropped his gaze to study his shoes. He'd had this conversation before. He knew where this was no doubt going. Something something waste of talent, something something disappointing, something something typical of what you could expect of someone from Eggsy's background.

A hand came and rested on his shoulder, and Eggsy almost flinched in surprise. "I'm not about to berate you, lad. I suspect I can make a pretty fair guess as to why you chose to drop out, and from what I heard from Sergeant Kilkenny," Eggsy looked up startled, "it sure as hell wasn't because you lacked ability."

Biting his lip, Eggsy felt a rueful smile work itself into the corners of his mouth. "You chatted to Sarge? I thought the bastard hated my guts," he said.

Merlin smirked. "That's what you're meant to think. I brought your name up with him on our most recent catch-up, and he practically gave you a ringing endorsement." He retracted the hand, and Eggsy was surprised at how cold his shoulder suddenly felt. "Eggsy," Merlin looked serious. "Now that your mother and sister are safe from that Neanderthal, would you like another chance to serve your country?"

Well that answered one of the questions Eggsy had had. All this talk about serving his country, he was suspecting that this wasn't exactly an organised crime syndicate he was walking into. Still, it wouldn't hurt to make sure.

Cocking his head, Eggsy considered Merlin. "So you want me in on the black-ops spy shit that got my Dad killed, yeah?"

Merlin nodded once, expression stone-like. "Not exactly. There are currently no openings for field agents, however, if you join my division, you'll start off in a support role and then we'll see how you go."

Eggsy did not miss how Merlin hadn't refuted the 'spy' part of that statement. A small part of him relaxed. It wasn't that he was a stranger to crime, but he was getting the idea that he was pretty far in over his head here. If he was going to commit to jumping boots first in with what was looking to be a shady sort of organisation, he wanted to make bloody sure that said shady organisation was at least philosophically on the up and up.

"Support huh. How's that work? You want me behind a desk researching shit?" Eggsy didn't necessarily think that that would be a bad thing, if he got paid enough, but it wasn't exactly his idea of a dream job.

It wasn't so much that beggars couldn't be choosers, and more that beggars had to take what opportunities came along and make the most of them.

"That will no doubt comprise part of your training, since until we find your exact niche I'd rather you gain experience with a broad range of areas. But for your first assignment, I think I'd like to start you off with developing something that I know for sure is already in your skillset."

Eggsy had a suspicion that he knew where this was going, but decided to listen to what Merlin had to say before making assumptions.

"Oh yeah? And what would that be?"

The grin that appeared on Merlin's face was somewhat, Eggsy thought, reminiscent of a documentary he had once watched about wolves.

"Exfiltration support."

Eggsy's brow furrowed. "Oh? And what's that when he's at home?"

Merlin's grin didn't abate. "Getaway driver."

Eggsy's face split in a delighted grin in response.

"Now you're talking bruv. Where do I sign?"

...

A/N: And here... we... go!