OH MY GOSH AN UPDATE! Sorry guys. School work has been kicking my butt. So not only did this chapter take way too long to get uploaded, but it's also on the shorter side. But I felt like I had to give you guys something. I'm hoping to get more into the heart of this drama again within the next 2 or 3 chapters. Hopefully I can find the time to write more often. We'll see.

I have no idea how trains are supposed to work, especially in Japan. (I'm just from a small rural town in America, so…) But the beginning part of this chapter, this is how I imagine them working.

Chapter 18

The idea occurred to me while I was on the train heading to Osaka. There was a sign for Sapporo right in front of my seat. All I could think was how nice it would be to take Misaki there. I figured he hadn't been there before, considering it was just him and his brother for the past 10 years.

Then I remembered… Soon it would be 11 years since their parents died. Misaki was almost 19. In fact, his birthday was tomorrow. I had almost forgotten given the fact that I spent almost a week telling myself it was better to let him go. I had given Takahiro a present on his birthday. I needed to give Misaki something too, but it had to be really special. After all, he's the one I truly love, not Takahiro.

All I could think about was seeing his smiling face and holding him tightly. I didn't want to let go of him anymore. He was my one and only. There was no way I could give him up to Takahiro now. I had to think of something I could say to him to convince him to let his brother stay with me. Of course, I had plenty of time for that.

The first matter on hand was making sure Misaki knew how much I care about him; how much I need him in my life; how deeply in love with him I am. I want him to know that he can rely on me and that I want him to selfish with me. I just want him to be with me…

As soon as I boarded off the train in Osaka, I rushed to the ticket counter. "I need two tickets for the sleeper car going to Sapporo," I said out of breath.

The women at the counter looked at me with obvious annoyance. "I'm sorry, sir, but that train leaves in 15 minutes," she said in a polite voice. "We can't give you a ticket this late. I can however give you tickets for tomorrow night."

I pulled out my wallet and thrust my credit card at her face. "Charge me double, no, triple. I don't care what it costs. I need on this train."

"I'm sorry sir, but – " She stopped mid-sentence and did a double take at my card. She looked up at me with wide eyes. "You're Usami Akihiko?! The famous author, Usami Akihiko?!"

I nodded. My gut churned with what I was about to say, but I needed to do something to get those tickets. I leaned in closer to her over the counter. "The one and only. Would you like an autograph, miss?" I smiled at her.

Her face became very red. It reminded me of Misaki when he blushed. "P-Please!" She bent down and pulled out a copy of my latest novel. "I kn-know you must be busy, U-Usami-san, but p-please sign this for me! And I'll give you the tickets!"

Jackpot.

I smirked as I signed the front of her book. She heaved a heavenly sigh as she ran my credit card and handed me two boarding passes. I bowed respectfully to her, making her squeal. It sickened me that I was doing this… But, anything for Misaki.

"Thank you very much, miss."

"Yo-You're welcome, sir! En-Enjoy your trip!" She looked so flustered.

I turned and headed for the central ticket gate to find Misaki. I spotted the back of his head just as I reached the gate and slid my boarding pass through. As if he noticed my presence, he turned and looked right at me. He looked nervous, maybe even a little scared. As I reached him, I took hold of his arm, thankful to feel that warm, loving sensation when I touched him.

I was so relieved to see him, but at the same time I was feeling anxious. There was no way to tell how he felt inside. Was he too angry or upset with me for trying to push him away? Of course, he didn't know I was doing it, let alone that I was doing it to protect him. He just thought I wanted him to be with his family, which was also true.

"W-Wait, Usagi-san!" he began, clearly confused and worried, maybe even scared.

"There's no time," I said as I turned and began pulling him. "Run!"

"What's going on?!" he cried out.

I ignored his question and kept pulling him towards where the Sapporo sleeping train was boarding and we ran. He protested a bit, but I kept my hold on his arm and he kept running with me. I quickly slid our boarding passes through the scanner when we reached the gate.

"Usagi-san, we're going the wrong way!" he insisted.

I pulled him through the gate anyway, again not answering him. The train was right up the stairs in front of us. I could hear them announcing that they were departing shortly and the gates were going to close. I sprinted up the stairs, pulling Misaki behind me. The train was right there and we quickly jumped in, right before the doors slid shut. We had just barely made it. I leaned against the now closed doors, breathing heavily, while he leaned forward to catch his breath. I felt the train lurch forward as we rested for a second.

Finally, he turned to me, still looking worried. "Usagi-san, this train – "

Without listening to what he was going to say, I reached forward and wrapped him up in my arms, pulling him close to my chest. One arm snaked around his back while the other reached up so I could tangle my fingers in his hair. He gasped at my sudden movements, but I didn't care. I just needed to feel him again after I had almost let him go in my mind. I knew then that I could never physically or emotionally keep him away from me anymore.

He struggled against me a little, not hugging me back. "Usagi-san, I can't breathe." His voice was muffled from his face being pressed into my shoulder.

"I won't hand you over!" I cried out.

"Huh?"

"Not to Takahiro or anyone. I won't let you go anywhere!" My fingers tangled themselves deeper into his soft locks as I squeezed him tighter.

"Usagi-san, there's definitely something wrong with you," he said with a hint of anger in his voice. "Who in their right mind shows up like this? Really, I was about to come home anyway, so this was pointless."

Home. He called it home. That word made my heart swell with happiness. He definitely wanted to stay with me, whether he will admit it out loud or not. He still wants to be with me, even after what I did to him. Maybe my dream wasn't trying to tell me what I should do. I jumped to a crazy conclusion that Misaki and Ryuto were the same, when they aren't. Misaki is stronger than that.

"If I didn't come out to meet you, I felt like it might really end," I explained and he quietly gasped.

If I didn't come out to meet him and talk to him right away, I felt like he wouldn't believe me when I told him later on that I needed him and loved him. He might have felt like I wanted him to move out and stay away from me. He might have truly believed that I hated him, and that would have been extremely painful.

"I'll talk to Takahiro and settle things with him," I reassured my lover. The conversation I had with his brother came back to mind. "You stay at my house. Also, you're not to lie in front of me. No being solicitous. And you're to ask for selfish things." I wanted to see the reaction on his face and the emotion in his eyes, but I couldn't let go of him. "There's just one thing. I honestly don't know how this warm family thing works. So, teach me what I should do."

"What? Oh!" he cried out in realization. "My brother said something weird again, didn't he?!" He was clearly a little upset as he pulled out of my grasp. He turned his back to me as he continued to rant about Takahiro. "Honestly! My brother is way too overprotective! I'm about to turn 19, you know! I think I know what I want to do and the things I ought to do. Is he going to treat me like a kid forever? Sheesh!"

"Then, tell me what you want to do."

Misaki turned to me, clearly conflicted. "That's… um… The one thing I don't want is to do anything that might inconvenience you." He looked so upset and he didn't dare look me in the eyes. "So, Usagi-san, you seriously don't have to push yourself to do this."

I reached my hand up and placed it on his head, as if I was about to ruffle his hair like I normally do. "In that case… If you don't want to inconvenience me, stay by my side." He finally looked up at me with wide eyes and I couldn't help but smile, knowing that he would agree to be with me, especially knowing that I needed him so badly. "So, what's your answer?"

He looked down again, a slight blush appearing on his face. "Okay."

I ruffled his hair quick before I pulled him back into a tight hold. "I love you," I whispered into his ear.

He didn't repeat it back to me, of course, but at least he hugged me back this time. As I kissed him for the first time in well over a week, all of my emotions came flooding out and I couldn't help but show him again how much he means to me, right there in the train.

He had never kissed me before as fiercely as he did then. He had never touched me before as lovingly as he did that night. He had never been so open about his feelings as before on that train.

And I had never loved him before as much as I did then.

He was so happy and grateful that I remembered his birthday and took him to Sapporo. He didn't tell me that though. He didn't need to. I saw it in his eyes and in his actions that day. He even held my hand as we walked through town.

Happy 19th birthday, Misaki. I hoped to have many more birthdays to celebrate by your side.