YAY A CHAPTER! And there's a lemon in this one! Hooray!

Song: There's No Going Back - Sick Puppies

Chapter 20 – There's No Going Back

I waited until we were out of the penthouse to say anything else to Isaka-san. I didn't want Misaki to hear me argue with him anymore. He would just ask me later what was going on already, and he didn't need to know any more information. It was best that he didn't know anything at all.

"Don't you know how to leave well enough alone?" I grunted through clenched teeth as we walked to the taxi.

Isaka-san shrugged. "Oh come on, Akihiko! He's your brother. I know he's proud of you for all you've accomplished thus far. And your father too."

The three of us climbed into the taxi. I made sure to sit as far away from Isaka-san as possible, which unfortunately meant that Aikawa-san sat right next to me. I could hear her sighing as loudly as possible every time Isaka-san and I said anything. She knows all about what has happened to me, even though I wish she didn't know anything at all. Isaka-san told her everything years ago for reasons beyond me. I still haven't forgiven him for that either. It frustrates her as well when Isaka-san won't bury the past and leave it be.

"Besides," he continued, "you haven't seen Haruhiko in years. Have you even spoken to him?"

Bile rose up in my throat and I swallowed it back down. "Actually, yes, I have." Isaka-san's eyes widened. "He's called several times in the past few months. Both he and my father want me to come back home and work in the Usami corporation."

He let out a breath he seemed to be holding. "Is that all? I thought you were about to say something different." Aikawa-san's eyes narrowed at him. She knew exactly what he was thinking and didn't want him crossing anymore lines.

I sighed. "He threatened to blackmail me." The two gasped and looked anxiously at me. "He warned me that my father was no longer going to keep the information a secret if I didn't come back home," I said, putting extra emphasis on the word "information" so they would understand what I was talking about.

Isaka-san suddenly became more serious. "How long ago was this?"

"It's been a few months now. That was the last phone call I received from him, actually."

The director nodded. "There's no way anything could happen now. At this point it would just be their word against yours. It's been 10 years now, Akihiko."

"It could still ruin his reputation if the press were to find out," Aikawa-san said somberly. "And that's just what they want. If his career is ruined, then he could go work for them at their business." She had never even met my family and she knew them so well. "Any sort of the gossip, the tabloids will print it and readers will eat it up."

I shook off the thoughts swarming through my head. "It was all empty threats. If they wanted to truly do it, they would have already."

Isaka-san let out a loud sigh. "If I would have known this, I wouldn't have invited Haruhiko to the party." He pointed at me and continued sternly, "This is why you need to tell us everything!"

My blood was still boiling just thinking about Haruhiko being anywhere near Misaki and me. "I don't care if they tell the world," I said through my clenched teeth. "I just don't want Misaki to hear about any of it."

He leaned back and relaxed a bit. "Honestly, do you really believe he'd show up anyway? Just because I invited him doesn't mean he'll be there."

"There's still the possibility. What if my father sends him there? They might want to continue to blackmail me."

"Everything will be okay, sensei!" Aikawa-san exclaimed cheerfully. "He won't show up. If he does, Isaka-sensei and I will be there to do total damage control!"

I sighed again. No amount of reassuring, especially from these two clowns, could make the haunting fear go away. Honestly, I just didn't want Misaki to know. He would leave me for sure if he knew about Ryuto. I was completely terrified that if my brother showed up to the party, he'd tell people. If Misaki was one of those people, I just don't know what I would do.

We finally made it to the press conference with a few moments to spare. I pushed the memories of my past out of my head and focused on my book and the award I was set to receive. Business Akihiko came out and stayed out. Yet, the Akihiko from the past still lingered in the back of my mind.

As soon as the press conference was over, I slipped out of the back and hailed a cab. Neither Isaka-san nor Aikawa-san noticed that I had left since no one ran outside to look for me. I sighed thankfully and gave the driver directions to my penthouse. It had only been a few hours since the worries started, but it had drained me completely. I just wanted to be home, in my bed, with Misaki by my side. He's the only thing that can make all the pain and memories go away.

"I'm back," I called out to him as I stepped inside the house, loosening my tie.

"Hey, that was awfully quick," he said as he stood up from his seat on the couch.

I noticed a new large bouquet of flowers on the table in front of him. Before I could ask about them, the phone began to ring. As soon as I picked it up, Isaka-san began screaming and cursing at me.

"Who the hell leaves straight after doing the press conference?!" he screamed.

Irritated, I hung up the phone and began to unplug the jack from the wall. I didn't want to hear from him or Aikawa-san anymore. I didn't want to hear any more "Congratulations" from anyone else anymore. The whole thing was a big joke. It was all a pain in the ass.

"Is everything okay?" Misaki asked.

"It's fine," I assured him as I turned around. "I'd get depressed having to be in a crowd like that." I loosened my tie even more, finally pulling the damn thing off.

"Oh, you got some flowers earlier," he mentioned when my back was to him. "They're from your brother."

I was in the middle of unbuttoning my shirt when he said that. My hands froze and my eyes widened. I was glad I wasn't facing him so he couldn't see the look of shock and fear on my face. My brother sent me flowers? This was definitely not good. He had to have something up his sleeve. Or maybe it was my father behind the planning. Either way, this was not good.

"It's kind of hard for me to imagine you with siblings," Misaki continued. "What's he like?" I certainly was not at all ready to talk to my lover about my asshole brother. "Is he like you, Usagi-san?"

"Not really," I merely replied as I tore off my jacket and threw it on the couch.

"Maybe you should call to thank you now, while you still have time. Since I'm sure you'll be receiving even more tomorrow."

"It's fine," I said as I threw my tie down on top of my jacket. No way in hell was I going to call him.

"What? But…" Misaki continued.

"I don't want them," I said nonchalantly as I struggled with my shirt some more. I had to keep my hands busy.

"You don't talk much about yourself or your past, you know?"

His last comment startled me and my hands froze up once again. He doesn't like that I keep the past a secret? Why? He never told me about how he felt when his parents passed away. It's not like he needs to know every little detail about my life before he came along. He especially doesn't need to know about Ryuto.

"It was like this before, too," he added, "but everything Isaka-san talks about is stuff I don't know about." That's right… He was jealous before because Isaka-san knew things about me that he didn't. "Oh, I mean, I don't need to know about the company stuff or anything."

"Of course you don't know. I've known Isaka-san since I was a kid."

"I-I know that." His voice sounded slightly agitated now. "But you could talk a little…"

I was agitated too. He didn't need to know about the Akihiko before he came along. That Akihiko is dead. He died shortly after Ryuto did. The only Akihiko that matters now is that one that came alive when Misaki and I became lovers.

"Talking about it would just make you uncomfortable," I snapped.

"I wouldn't be particularly affected by stories." Misaki, you don't understand the half of what I've been through. "Yeah, I'd be fine. I'm not a child after all. I could handle typical stories of that sort. So…"

No, you couldn't, I wanted to say to him. They'd make you upset. They'd make you afraid. They'd make you angry.

They'd make you leave me…

The only thing I could do was get angry now. "Quit bothering me," I snapped at him again. "It's none of your business."

I heard him grunt in anger from behind me. "What? B-But that's not fair! I mean, you know me well enough to write about me in your books, so why don't I know anything about you?" Because I don't want you to leave, Misaki. "Like this thing with the award. You could have at least told me that you'd been nominated." My head was pounding from the nonsense he was spouting. I took out my pack of cigarettes. "Besides, you know what? I learned about your family for the first time because of Isaka-san. It seems like Aikawa-san knows all about it too. And my brother does too, doesn't he?"

Because I don't care if Isaka-san and Aikawa-san were to hate me. Takahiro doesn't know for the same reasons I never told you. If either of you knew, you would never look at me the same way again. Would you even look at me at all? Somehow, I didn't think you would. It's easier to just hide all that stuff and focus on who I am today.

As I took out a cigarette to light, Misaki charged forward and ripped the pack from my hands, throwing it to the floor. I had never seen his face filled with such rage before. I had seen him angry, of course, but this was different. I had never seen him act out his aggressions, especially not towards me.

"There's something messed up about that!" he cried. "It's wrong! It's weird, like I'm the only one who doesn't know! If we were total strangers or just acquaintances, I think that'd be fine. But you could tell me!" He suddenly reached out and grabbed a hold of my hand. "If you're going to say we're supposed to be lovers, I think we should know all kinds of things about each other."

I was floored. That was a love confession… from Misaki. The boy who's always so shy and feisty just confessed his love for me. He called us lovers and said he wanted us to know everything about each other. Had the world stopped spinning? Did hell just freeze over? Were pigs flying right this very second?

He gasped as he realized what he had just said. "Just kidding…" He released my arm and stood back a little, not looking up to meet my gaze. "Sorry. You're tired. I don't know what I'm saying. Well there you have it!"

He turned around to rush upstairs. I called after him but he didn't stop. I followed him up the stairs, begging him to tell me again that we were lovers. I wanted to hear his confession again. It was so sweet and innocent, just like Misaki.

"Tell me again. Why do you want to know stuff about me so much?"

"I don't know! Please chalk it up to youthful indiscretion or something!"

He reached his room and twisted the doorknob. I reached behind him and grabbed the hand that was on the handle, pulling the door back shut. I pressed my chest against his back, leaning into his chestnut hair. He deserves to know some things about me. He's right. We are lovers and we should know things about each other. I had made the same revelation after that week we spent apart. However, I didn't think it would hurt to leave out certain bits of information.

"I'll tell you," I whispered into his ear. My free arm wrapped around his waist to pull him closer to me. I wondered if he could feel my heart pounding on his back. "Haruhiko is my big brother and Isaka-san is his childhood friend. I'm sure you've sensed it, but my brother and I… actually, my entire family and I don't get along. So…"

He suddenly pulled out of my grasp and turned around. "Sorry. I didn't mean to force you to tell me." He sounded regretful.

"It's okay. It's you, so I can tell it to you."

"It's okay. It doesn't matter anymore." He hid his face in his hands. "I'm sorry, Usagi-san. I wasn't trying to put you on the spot. I was just feeling kind of panicked and that's why… Oh! That's right!" He reached out and took hold of my shirt, near the collar. He stared up at me with his big emerald eyes and my heart soared. "Usagi-san, what do you want?"

"Huh?"

"A gift to congratulate you on your win! Oh, but to be honest with you, I can't afford anything too expensive. Oh, and actually, I won't get paid for another two weeks. I'd be happy if you'd wait until then. Or you could buy it and I could pay you back in installments… Oh, but would that be a gift then?"

It was just like Misaki to ramble on like this. Just what was he so nervous about? "First of all, just calm down," I told him with a smile. "You don't have to be so considerate." I know that it's just in his nature, but it really isn't necessary.

"Oh, but these things should be done properly. I mean, I'll make sure to read that book later, too! So, you know, congratulations on winning the award."

All that work for a simple little "congratulations." He could be so scatterbrained sometimes, yet he is always so caring about everyone else. I could help but chuckle.

"Wh-What?!"

"You know, you should organize your thoughts first before you speak. But…" I moved closer and pulled him into a warm hug, his face pressed against my shoulder. "Thank you very much." I felt his breath hitch in his throat. "All kinds of people have congratulated me… but yours made me the happiest."

The previous love confession and the fact that he congratulated me in the cutest way possible made everything bad about today fly out the window. I forgot about my brother, Isaka-san, Aikawa-san, my past… I forgot it all. All I could think about was Misaki… and the night we were about to have.

I lightly pulled out of the hug and looked down at his face. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes were just a tad bit darker than usual. His lips were slightly opened, as if he was waiting for me to kiss him. So I decided to do just that. Pressing my lips over his, I gently held the side of his face, running my fingers through his hair. He let out a gentle moan and I pulled away slightly. He looked so damn cute as he stared at me in wanting. No… needing.

I leaned back down to kiss him again, pausing slightly just before our lips met again. When they finally collided, he let out another soft moan and I took the opportunity to deepen the kiss. My tongue gently explored his mouth as I pulled his body closer to me. I felt his arms tighten around my back as well and my fingers tangled themselves up further in his brown locks. His tongue gently rubbed against mine and lust began to take over my brain.

I stopped kissing him to pull away, smiling at his blushing face. "There is something I want as a gift to commemorate my win."

"Wh-What?"

"You," I whispered with a smirk. I reached my hand down and gently squeezed his bottom.

"Oh, w-wait a minute!"

"I can't wait," I replied as my hand began to slide up the back of his shirt. His skin was hot against my cool fingers.

Suddenly, with all of his strength, Misaki pushed me over and we both collapsed onto the floor. He straddled my hips with his hands pushing my shoulders down. For the second time that night, I was floored by his actions.

"I-I'll do it today," he stuttered.

"Are you serious?" He wanted to take me on?

Before I could tell him that it was okay not to, he began to unbutton more of my shirt. "L-Like I'd joke about this, jerk!"

I smirked as I watched his hands shake. There was no way this was really happening. My shy, feisty, little Misaki was trying to top me. It was absolutely adorable. In fact, I saw that as yet another love confession.

"Your hands are shaking," I pointed out.

"Shut up!"

Trying to encourage him, I reached out and began to unbutton his shirt as well. He suddenly stopped. "It's okay. Continue."

We both had each other's shirts unbuttoned at the same time. He pushed my shirt open, his fingers just barely grazing my chest. They were so warm, almost like hot coals brushing against me. I never thought he would continue, but he leaned down and pressed his lips against my neck. A fire inside me started. He slowly planted more kisses down my chest and onto my abdomen. It was such an agonizing pace and I couldn't stand it. I needed to touch him. I reached out and slid my hand into the waistband of his pants. His growing erection pulsed against my hand.

"St-Stop, wait a second," he moaned.

"If I wait for you it'll be tomorrow already."

He leaned down against my chest. "Ah, don't joke around! You're an idiot! Mmm."

He panted a little as I leaned in close to his ear and nibbled on his earlobe. His pants increased as I continued to stroke his cock. I couldn't hold on any longer and I sat up a little. I stripped him off his shirt and his pants before unzipping my own pants. I pulled him into my lap and licked my fingers. He cried out as I slid my slick fingers into his entrance. His whole body trembled.

"Lower your hips, just like that."

"Ah, Usagi-san, it's im-impossible like this!"

I pushed my fingers deeper inside of me and stroked his walls. He whimpered several times as I massaged him. It didn't take me long to find the spot he truly enjoyed most. He gasped in total bliss when I hit it, causing him to open up more. I smiled at him and kissed him quick. My fingers were quickly replaced with my throbbing member. He shuddered at the pressure of me entering him and I groaned at the tightness.

I stopped to let him get to use to my size. "What's gotten into you today?" I asked breathlessly. "I never thought that you'd be making the first move."

"Get real! You wrote about it!" My eyes widened. It turned me on even more and he must have noticed because he trembled again. "I r-read your novel," he admitted. "You said it involved your interest and fantasies or something, so… You use my name in the books, s-so I figured that meant you want me to do things like that to you."

I smiled at him and pressed my lips to his forehead. Without anymore warning, I began to thrust up into him. He gasped at my sudden movement. His arms wrapped around my neck and held me tight as I pressed into his heat. He didn't hold back his moans like usual this time, which made me even happier.

"But, the way you are right now," I gasped breathlessly, "you're no good at all. I'll teach it to you again properly, from the beginning."

He grunted from the force as I sped up. "N-Never mind! I don't want to anymore! I take back everything I just said!"

I leaned in close to his ear. "I won't let you," I whispered sensually as I licked his earlobe.

"Mmm, ahh! Usagi-san!"

I focused on thrusting into him, grabbing his hips so I could hold him in place. I angled us so that I hit his sweet spot with each thrust. His cries grew louder and louder. As I held him with one arm, my other hand wrapped around his cock and found a steady rhythm.

"Ahh, U-Usagi-san! C-Can't!"

I sped up just a little bit, knowing that I was close as well. "Misaki, together!"

With a few final thrusts, we both reached our climax. Misaki cried out in pure ecstasy as he spilled his seed all over our chests. I groaned and released inside of him at almost the same time. He whimpered as we came down from our high. He pressed his face into my neck and breathed heavily.

"Misaki, I love you."

There was no reply, but his earlier love confessions definitely made up for that.

When we finally caught our breath, his face turned bright red as he saw the mess he had made between us.

"I-I'm sorry, Usagi-san!" he stuttered.

Laughing, I wiped some off of my chest with my finger and licked it. He immediately blushed even more. I wasn't done with him just yet, so I pulled out of him and picked him up. I took him into his room right there and made love him to him at least two more times. Soon, I knew I had to properly teach him how he could seduce me. It made me excited just thinking about it.