I'm not going to respond to your lovely reviews, as this is a monster chapter already. I did think it was funny how everybody is going back and forth between Kataang and Maang. I feel that way right now.
Enjoy.
Zuko had heard bits and pieces of the conversation between Aang and Katara. Most of it didn't make sense since his mind was still a bit jumbled.
He'd almost jackknifed into a sitting position when Katara had unknowingly asked what he had been dying to know. 'Just how far had Aang's relationship with Mai gone?' He had nearly expired again when heard Aang mention a betrothal present.
He thought it was awful fast for them to jump from friends to living together to being engaged. By his calculations they had only been together a little bit over a year. Surely that was not enough time to establish a healthy relationship especially considering the disaster both were coming out of.
All this paled in consideration to the wailing going on beside him. Zuko shifted his head and caught a glimpse of a bare foot. He slowly inched upwards and gingerly leaned over the stone he was laying on.
Katara was on the floor clutching his blanket and horribly failing at muffling her cries. Zuko had little experience with girls and even less with distressed ones. He awkwardly patted her back. She didn't bat him away but she didn't lean into it either.
There had been a time when she had sought him out. Those days were long past and in reality should have never happened. Whatever was the closing argument between her and the nomad, had not been what she had wanted to hear.
'If Aang being so compassionate and calm could leave Katara in this state, he wasn't betting his chances with Mai would be any better.'
Daylight began pouring into the room by the time Katara exhausted herself long enough to actually catch some sleep. Zuko had offered her his slab but she had declined saying they had spent more than enough time together.
The next time he woke up he was alone and the room was flooded with light. With no assistance it was excruciatingly slow ordeal to get out of the room and to the courtyard. The gang had not changed their habits and he found all of them seated in a semi circle around their breakfast.
Toph and Sokka were the first to notice him. Toph made no comment but she was clearly holding back the fuming warrior. Suki was on Sokka's other side watching and waiting. Her posture screaming she was ready to take him on.
Iroh was nowhere to be found and neither was Katara. 'Great no allies.' Zuko thought as he spotted Aang and Mai conversing quietly. A pang went through his heart at the closeness of their dark heads.
His presence cast a shadow over the assembled group and the chatter died. "Hello."
For a moment a sense of déjà vu filled him, here he was again having to prove himself. Aang filled a bowl with soup and handed it to Zuko. He took the bowl gratefully, a tentative smile blossomed on the airbender's face placing him at ease.
Mai leaned over whispering furiously into Aang's ear.
Zuko could feel his appetite fleeing. He put his bowl down and faced Mai for the first time in more than a year. "I'm sick of this. I know you're angry at me but if you have something to say at least say it out loud so I can attempt to defend myself."
Mai stopped speaking and fixed her heated glare on him. "Defend yourself you say. How observant of you to notice that I'm angry."
The rest of the group cautiously grabbed their meals and scooted further away from the fire nation girl. Only Aang remained and he looked confused at Mai's uncharacteristically violent behavior.
Not liking being left in the dark he asked, "What's going on? Why are you so mad at him? I mean I know why but---" he fumbled miserly at what he was trying to say so he reiterated his question, "What's going on?"
Mai advanced on the firebender until she towered over him. Zuko fought the urge to cower. 'Mai is really scary,' stupidly ran through his mind.
"Oh, I'll tell you Aang. I'll fill you in on what was going on when you were gone to rescue this spineless worthless backstabbing lying cheating spying stupid slothweasel."
'All that said with only one single breath of air.' Aang was mildly impressed by her air capacity. 'Then again I am rather familiar with her ability to go without air for long periods of time.' He curtailed the lecherous thought and focused his attention back on the two fire nation natives.
"Suki ran into your friend Wai-Lei, didn't you Suki?" Suki looked decidedly uncomfortable to be the sudden focus of the conversation.
"Um…yeah," Suki agreed and breathed a sigh of relief when Mai's dark gaze resettled on Zuko.
"Wai-Lei." Zuko gulped.
"Who's Wai-Lei?" Aang asked Suki. The Kyoshi woman pointed at Zuko clearly not wanting to be involved any further than she had been already.
"Do you remember the group of archers you told me about?" Mai directed at Aang.
Aang stared at her but his gaze sharpened on the squirming firebender. "Yeah, they were sent to capture me by Zhao. Zuko rescued me from them."
"Apparently Zuko has been keeping in touch with them. Haven't you?" Her hand shot out and nobody had a chance to stop the knife that glinted in the morning light.
Zuko yelped as the dagger penetrated his pant's leg and into the ground effectively pinning him in place.
"Mai!" Aang and Zuko shouted at once.
"Don't you Mai me. You're lucky I didn't go for a more crucial area. Especially after what I found out." She hissed at him.
The malice in her voice was unmistakable and Zuko knew that nothing Aang could do to him could compare to what Mai had in store for him.
"Mai, this isn't like you. Whatever Zuko did, I'm sure he's sorry for." Aang forever the peace keeper vainly tried to cut short her disagreement with Zuko.
Mai whirled on Aang and though her shouting was in his direction, he could tell that her venom was all for Zuko. "He'll be sorry. I guarantee you that. He hired those same archers, who are also bounty hunters to find me. They followed you all over the world until you came to me."
"You had her followed?" Aang's quiet tone chilled Zuko's blood. The airbender rose from the floor and moved Mai aside. "I asked you a question. You had her followed?"
He was on the verge of answering when without warning his head connected with the stone floor. Had he been standing the blow would have sent him to the ground and into a world of pain. As it was Zuko spit out blood and at least one tooth.
Aang was above him, his chest rising up and down rapidly. His right hand was balled into a fist and already beginning to bruise from the contact of Zuko's jaw.
Mai looked a bit shocked but she quickly pulled Aang away. 'Maybe I shouldn't tell him the rest,' was her first thought. Never had Aang ever struck someone with his bare hands.
Zuko wiped his mouth and sat up, "Ok following you was a mistake. I admit having the guy spying on you was not my best idea."
The whole group with the exception of Aang, slapped their hands to their heads. Aang stood dumbfounded as it sunk in. "How long?" he asked.
Zuko realizing his blunder scratched his head.
"How long?" Aang shouted, making everybody jump and looking ready to punch Zuko a second time.
"Three months. According to Wai-Lei, they spied on us for three months." Mai answered hoping if she gave the response Aang wouldn't knock Zuko's remaining teeth out.
As much as she wanted Zuko to pay she didn't want Aang to feel guilty about it later. And he would, being a monk it would bug him to no end that he'd struck a fellow being.
Aang must have thought the same thing because he just sat himself in the exact same spot Mai had used when she had found out, "Did they report to you? I assume they wrote detailed reports of what they saw."
Zuko couldn't meet Aang's eyes so he looked at Mai which wasn't any better really. "Yes, they were very thorough," Zuko gritted, his face turning a mottled shade of purple
Aang laughed suddenly but it was hollow and mean. "I hope they got an eyeful and passed it on to you." Mai blushed and Sokka was heard utter, "Ouch."
Aang however was not done. "How dare you trespass on my home? How do you sit there and pretend it was nothing?" Aang asked genuinely curious.
"I'm sorry. I was stupid and jealous and I hated the fact that you were with Mai." Zuko began apologizing but he was halted by Aang's thunderous face.
"Don't apologize to me Zuko. You may have trespassed on my home but you violated Mai. You took away her privacy and saw and heard about things. Private things that you had no right to know about. Apologize to her not me." Aang glared.
Mai stared at Aang, her shiny eyes showing her gratitude for his understanding.
"I won't force you to leave out of respect for Uncle Iroh and for what we learned at the Oasis but let me make something very clear." Aang closed in and leaned his face inches from Zuko's, "you are not welcome in my home. You are tolerated for the time being."
Aang spun on his heel and departed leaving a pregnant silence in his wake. Zuko lowered his head as he heard the footsteps of the rest of the group move down the hallway and away from him.
"Why did you come? Tell me the truth." Mai leaned down to retrieve her blade.
"I guess I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to know if you were really happy with him." Zuko motioned to the gone airbender. He sighed when she began to walk away but she surprised him.
She sat some distance from him but still within range for a conversation. "Why do you care if I'm happy or not?"
"I care about you, why else?" he responded.
"You care about me. You have a strange way of showing it," she replied.
"Me, at least I show something. You were never this carefree with me. I never got to hear anything but a sarcastic laugh from you but you'll giggle and smile for him." Zuko accused.
Mai stared out into the landscape, her eyes scanning the distant trees. "That's the crux of it. That is the only reason you are here right now. You're such a child. You come here and act like I belong to you after everything you put me through and you have the nerve to act like Aang stole something of yours."
"I'm a child? How old is he? Fourteen at the most. You're nineteen and sleeping with a fifteen year-old."
Mai stiffened and whirled on him, "That child as you call him has been more of a man that you have ever acted in all of your life. He at least knows how to treat me. To him I'm a person not some decoration." She didn't know why she said it but she couldn't seem to keep it in, "he's going to be sixteen in two days by the way."
Zuko had not really learned to control his temper and it was obvious by the fire blast he directed at the already abused columns.
"You just proved my point. Go ahead and throw a tantrum, you're good at those."
He stalked towards her not stopping until he was directly in her face. "Why do you have to be so difficult. I'm trying to apologize. I'm trying to show you that its driving me mad thinking of you with anybody but me." He pulled her into his arms but Mai was not having it.
"Let go of me Zuko or I won't be responsible for my actions." She growled.
He reluctantly let go and Mai adjusted her robes. "I though you hated orange," he mumbled.
"I've grown to like it," she said repining the orange fabric that had come loose when he had crushed her to him. "Being here, I've grown to like a lot of things."
"Why did you leave with him? Why did you leave me?" he asked a traitorous tear slipping from his eyes.
Mai wrung her hands unsure of leaving herself open to him. "I couldn't stay. You promised me I would be yours. I gave you everything I had and you ripped my heart out and left it bleeding on the floor. What did you want me to do?"
She regarded him with sad eyes, "Did you expect me to sit idly by until you got sick of one of us and made a decision. I am not some second place prize waiting to be claimed."
Zuko didn't bother to hide the tears now coursing down his face. "I never saw you like that. I was confused and stupid. I fell for her nurturing. She took care of me and I took care of her and somewhere along the line it got twisted into something else."
Mai eyed him trying to figure out the truthfulness of what he was saying but he continued. "Katara replaced the mother I was searching for. I knew we had to break it off and we did but then it was too late and you and Aang had already left."
He blew on his hands warding off the chill of the mountain air, "All my life, I've had people leave me in one way or another. I never thought you'd be one of them. Why Aang?"
Mai knew she was tearing up but she ignore it, "Why Katara?"
"Because Katara was there. She didn't hide her frustrations or her emotions. If she was angry or didn't agree with something, she told me. I wanted your feedback but you couldn't be bothered. Where Katara would tell me to my face if a decision I was making seemed dumb or illogical. I needed someone I could interact with."
"Yeah, you certainly did that. How often while we were together did you interact with her?" she asked her hands planted on her hips. "Beneath my nose, your fiancé. Who stayed and listened to all your reports and stayed up all night searching though bounty hunters to help you find your mother. Was that not enough interaction for you?" she asked bitterness creeping out of her.
"I thought I loved her but I was wrong. Once the initial physical effects wore off we realized we really had nothing in common but you and Aang." He grimaced at the irony of that statement.
"I love you." Zuko stood his ground desperate to see a flicker of something for him within her.
"Well since you were wrong, of course I forgive you. Are you kidding, that's your apology?" Mai let the tears run unchecked down her face.
Her finger jabbing into his chest as she spoke. "Sure we can get back together and I can just pretend you weren't screwing around with the girl who was like a sister to me."
She pushed him closer to the ledge, "I can pretend that you didn't practically have her in your office, while I was asleep two rooms away. I can pretend that I didn't see you come out covered in her kisses and pulling your royal robes on."
She laughed and it made the hairs on the back of his neck rise, "I might have loved you before but that love has dwindled. You killed it and have nobody to blame for it but yourself."
Zuko dug his hands into his hair. "Answer me this then, were you with him before or after us?" Her silence was her answer so he tried another question. "Why him? what did he offer you that made it ok for you to leave your home?"
Mai sidestepped the first question simply because he didn't have a right to know. 'He would never have believed everything had happened here anyway.'
"I don't have a home Zuko. I never have. I've always existed on the edges of everything. In Omashu with my family, traveling with Azula and even in the Fire Nation with you. I was always part of the décor and I didn't mind. I was raised that way."
She stopped and composed herself. She would not get hysterical that was her promise to herself. "I was ok with it because as long as I was with you I felt like the center of things. Once you took that away I was left to rot on the outskirts. Aang didn't ask anything of me. He found me in the courtyard and he fought me and made me feel better by doing nothing."
She began pacing trying to rid herself of the nervous energy that had filled her. "We got to the temple and he left me alone and here with nobody else I became the center. My opinions and ideas were important, in this vast place," she spread her arms out to encompass their surroundings. "I was the architect, he allowed me to bring it to life and infuse it with my feelings and in return I gained my spirit back.
"Is that why you're here with him? Because you're grateful." he asked skeptically.
"At first yes. Since it was only the two of us I had to learn to coexist. We became friends as we talked more and when he was gone I began to truly appreciate his companionship. Later the companionship turned into comfort. I sought it out and soon I just didn't want him to hug me to make me feel better but because being in his arms was where I wanted to be."
She spoke honestly and her heartfelt rendition made the tears spill that much faster from him.
"Does that mean you don't love me anymore."
"It means I can't go back to how we were. I've had my fill of your lies and deceit. You've betrayed me once and I told you never to break up with me again." Mai asked him, "Do you remember that? When I helped you get dressed after the comet and you said you wouldn't do it."
He nodded her face turning watery before his streaming eyes.
"I told you that because you had already burned a hole through my heart, and this time Zuko. You incinerated it."
Zuko grasped her hand, "If I killed it, why does he have it?"
"Because like you, he brought it back to life. So I can't give you what doesn't belong to me. It belongs to Aang. He rebuilt it, it might not be exactly the same but it is cherished and already its learned to love again."
"Give me another shot Mai. I know what it means to lose what you love the most. Give a me a chance to mend my mistakes, to show you how much I love you. Now more than ever."
"I've changed Zuko. I'm a different Mai and even if Aang decides that he wants to be with Katara, I'll still love him. The Mai you knew doesn't exist anymore."
Mai removed the Fire Nation Symbol from her pocket and handed it to him. "Zuko, the best I can offer you is my friendship, nothing more."
He looked at the piece and shook his head in denial.
Mai left him there on the edge of the temple. She made it as far as inner courtyard before the sobs curled through her. She ran to her sanctuary and slammed the door. Completely alone she slid to the ground and among her hanging plants cried for the love she used to have.
"I don't want your friendship Mai, I want your love." Zuko exclaimed and hurled the symbol over the edge. "I'm apparently too late to have that."