Hello everyone! It has been WAY WAY WAY too long! I blame school and then a lack of inspiration and motivation after school ended.
To recap: Usagi and Misaki are back together in their house. They've talked (A LOT) and Misaki seems to be very understanding of everything that happened. In the last chapter, Usagi called his father and talked about how accepting Misaki was. So Usagi's father decided to let things go (for now). But there's still two more people to deal with: Takahiro and Misaki himself.
Song: Second Chance - Shinedown
Chapter 37: Second Chance (Part 2)
Misaki came out of the shower shortly after I had hung up the phone. His chestnut hair was still slightly soaked and dripping onto the towel he had hung around his neck. His white t-shirt and soft cotton sweatpants seemed to be sticking to his still wet skin. He had obviously hurried out of the shower for some reason. He rushed past me and into the kitchen.
"What are you doing?" I asked curiously as he began banging pots and pans around.
"I just realized you probably haven't eaten a proper meal since I left!" he cried as he turned on the sink faucet to fill up a pan. "Sorry, Usagi-san! I'll make you a nice big brunch. Is there anything in particular that you'd like?"
It was true that I hadn't eaten a decent meal since I had left. Misaki's cooking sounded like the best gourmet meal in the world the whole time I was away from him. While I was thrilled that he was so eager to cook for me and look after me, I was surprised by his wording. Since he left, he had said. That wasn't right. He may have left the penthouse, but I was the one who left him in the first place. I was worried about what sort of thoughts were spinning through that mind of his.
I walked up to the counter and leaned on it, my eyes piercing into his. "Misaki, what are you talking about? I was the one that left."
A blush formed on his cheeks before he turned to the stove to hide his face from me. "W-Well, you know… It was probably something I did to make you do that, maybe."
My eyes widened and my heart sank. He was blaming himself for me leaving him, for my actions. How could he even think that for a second? I had explained everything to him and he had forgiven me. Why would he even think that it was his fault that I left? Clearly, he was still hurting inside, and that hurt me just as badly if not worse.
Without even knowing exactly what to say, I walked around the counter towards him. I grabbed the ladle from him with one hand and turned off the stove with the other, making him gasp in surprise. My chest pressed firmly against his back as I wrapped my arms around him. He tensed up, not letting his arms drop to his sides or around mine. I could feel his heart racing on his back.
"Misaki, please don't think that," I whispered. "It wasn't at all your fault. I was the one that let my past and insecurities get under my skin too much." I paused, but quickly spoke again before he could. "I'm sorry. No matter the circumstances I shouldn't have left like a coward. I hurt you and I'm so sorry."
"N-No," he whimpered, on the verge of tears. "It was my fault. I should have been more accepting towards you. Then you wouldn't have though that you had f-forced me. Then you wouldn't have had to relive your past. I'm s-sorry, I've caused you trouble."
Squeezing him tighter, I pressed a gentle kiss to the top of his head. "No, Misaki, you're perfect." I gently grabbed his shoulders and turned him so that he faced me. His face was flushed with embarrassment and his eyes were watery. He tried to turn his head away from me, but I held his chin in place. "Without you, I'd truly be nothing. I love you. Whatever did I do to deserve you?"
A tear finally escaped his eye and I rubbed it off his cheek with my thumb. The vulnerability inside of both of us was beginning to weigh down my heart, as it probably was Misaki's as well judging by how emotional he was. With nothing left to do except love the boy standing in front of me, I leaned in to kiss him for the first time in over a month. His breath caught in his chest, but he didn't pull away.
His lips were soft and warm against mine, just like I remembered. A wave of happiness with a hint of pleasure crashed through my entire body. My mouth moved gently against his as my tongue caressed his. After placing all my emotions out in the open, it felt as if all my armor was cracked. This made our kisses feel more intimate than they had been in a long time.
My mind was swirling with so many emotions and thoughts. More than anything, I wanted to resort back to my old habits and have my way with him. Nothing sounded more amazing than lifting him up, placing him on the kitchen counter, kissing and licking all over his beautiful body, and entering his sweet, tight entrance.
But I knew I had to hold back if I was ever going to gain his trust and love back. He needed to be a bit more confident in his emotions first. Or rather, I needed to be completely sure of his feelings and know that he wasn't going to leave me behind. Before I could love him completely, I had to get rid of all of my dark insecurities for good.
Not wanting to destroy what I had managed to build back up, I stopped kissing Misaki and pulled my lips away. He exhaled shakily and rested his forehead against mine. True to his character, his cheeks were flushed with embarrassment and possibly excitement from the kissing. My heart was racing and it took a few moments for it to slow down. Over a month without kissing or touching this boy was way too long.
"I'm sorry," I repeated. "I promise I'll make everything up to you if you let me have another chance."
He grunted and lightly shoved my chest to push me away. "Idiot. Stop saying such things." As he turned to go back to cooking he muttered, "I already told you it's fine." I smiled, feeling reassured.
Before he could turn the stove back on, the doorbell rang throughout the house. He sighed loudly, frustrated, and marched to see who was there. My heart sank when I racked my brain for who could be at the door. The only person that came to mind was Takahiro. After all, he did hint that our conversation from last night wasn't over and that he would talk with his brother later. I had to get him to forgive me somehow.
"O-Oh, Nii-chan!" I heard Misaki stutter loudly. "Uh, I'm really sorry about yesterday! Oomf!"
I rushed out of the kitchen and over to the door to find Takahiro squeezing the life out of his younger brother. His face was buried in the boy's thick hair. It was a touching moment and I could see how broken he was over what had happened. I just hoped that my explanation would be enough to relieve his worry and sadness. However, I wasn't going to give him all of the details.
"N-Nii-chan! Can't… breathe!" His voice was muffled since his mouth was pressed so tightly against his brother's chest.
"Don't you ever scare me like that again!" Takahiro scolded as he tangled his fingers into Misaki's hair. "Do you have any idea how worried sick I was?!"
The younger pushed away and gasped for breath. He averted his gaze from the man yelling at him. "N-Nii-chan! I'm old enough to take care of myself you know!"
Takahiro finally let go of his brother and stood before him with his arms crossed. He didn't look angry, but rather disappointed and troubled. "This isn't what this is about, Misaki. You think I haven't noticed how upset you've been lately? You hardly eat; you hardly sleep; Manami-san and I hear you crying; you haven't been happy at all since you came to stay with us." He suddenly looked up at me, his eyes searching for answers. "I know something happened between you and Usagi that caused you to be so upset. I think I deserve to know what happened and where we're all going to go from here."
I nodded and cleared my throat, feeling nervous. I wasn't going to tell him that I was dating his brother, of course, but I was still feeling anxious about talking to him. Would I be able to gain his trust back? Or would he decide that I was unfit to take care of Misaki? After all, he was his brother and legal guardian. He could bring him back to his home and I wouldn't be able to do a damn thing about it.
"Takahiro, this was completely all my fault and I deeply apologize for the trouble I have caused. You see, there were some… complications with my family that needed to be resolved. However, since Misaki was living with me he was being dragged into my family's issues. I didn't want to trouble him anymore and I knew I had to resolve all the problems as quickly as possible. The best solution I could come up with was moving into a new apartment until everything was settled. That way I could work on the issues without dragging Misaki into them. I didn't want to get him involved any more than he already had been, so I left as quickly as I could. It was very foolish and irresponsible on my part. I promise you that it will never happen again. Misaki and I already talked everything over last night when I found him, and again this morning. Thankfully, he has forgiven me and has expressed wanting to continue to stay here and help me take care of the penthouse while he finishes university. I would absolutely love for him to stay here and help me out, not only with cleaning and cooking, but also with my writing."
The older Takahashi brother stared at me in surprise. Even back in high school when we had just become friends, I had never talked about my family. The only thing he knew was that my family was wealthy and that I didn't get along with them. He never asked about my family and I never talked about them. I assumed that he never brought it up because he knew it wasn't his place to meddle in other people's family affairs. After his parents passed away, I believed that he never asked about my family because it was too painful for him.
"Ah, is that so," he said quietly. He stood there for a few moments, as if trying to figure out what to say. "So you were really trying to protect Misaki?"
"Yes. I didn't want to drag him into my family crisis. So I moved out and left the penthouse for him to continue living in until the situation was settled and I could move back. He was upset because he thought he had troubled me or done something to make me mad at him and leave. But now he knows the truth and all is forgiven."
Again, Takahiro stood silent for a few moments, thinking. I took this time to look over at Misaki, who was still staring at the ground with his hands behind his back. His face was completed hidden by his hair so I couldn't read the emotions on his face. I myself was extremely nervous about what his brother would think of the information I was telling him.
He finally let out a sigh and his face turned very hard and serious. "Usagi, I really do appreciate you taking care of my brother for this long. I thought that he should have moved in with Manami-san and I when we moved back to Tokyo. Honestly, all of this has really proven to me that he should stay with me. With family. With someone who won't abandon him."
I gulped and bit the inside of my cheek to keep myself from saying anything. He was right: I didn't deserve to have Misaki by my side. He deserved to be with somebody who wouldn't hurt him and wouldn't leave him like I did. It hurt like hell to think about it, but he was right. Deep down I was hoping that Misaki would talk to his brother and convince him otherwise, but so far that wasn't happening.
"I'm sorry, Usagi. It's just that you didn't see what Misaki was like after you left. He was so broken and didn't act like himself at all. I never want to see him like that ever again. I'm his brother and the only family he has. I have an obligation to protect him. I'm sorry. I hope this won't affect our friendship too much and I hope you don't think any differently of me because of this." He sighed again and stuffed his hands in his pants pockets. "We better go now, Misaki."
Just as Takahiro turned to leave, I heard a small squeak come from his brother. He had to have heard it as well since he turned back to look at the younger, who hadn't once moved since he had started scolding him. Very slowly and cautiously, he started to lift his head. Tears had filled his emerald eyes and threatened to spill out. His face was plastered with worry, sorrow, and a hint of some other emotion that I couldn't quite read.
"You don't understand!" he practically spat at his older brother.
Anger. That was the emotion that I couldn't quite see on his face. He was angry at his brother. It was clear by his stiff, clenched jaw, as if he was trying not to scream. I understood why he was angry. I was also upset that he couldn't live with me anymore. However, I also didn't understand why he was angry at his brother for caring about him. Didn't he see that Takahiro was right? He deserved to be with family, not with someone who hurt him that badly.
The older brother was speechless for a few moments. "M-Misaki?"
"How do you not understand, Nii-chan?!" Misaki interrupted. His voice sounded like it could break into a sob at that second. "Think about what Usagi-san was dealing with! You of all people should know about his family problems. He was being very kind by not dragging me into the situation. Does that sound like a bad guy to you? No!" A tear finally slid from his right eye. "He was thinking only of me. He's always been so kind to me. This was all a big misunderstanding on my part. I should have listened more closely when he told me before that he was going to leave for a while. All of this was my fault, Nii-chan. Please, don't blame this on Usagi-san."
All three of us were silent for a moment and I took the opportunity to try and collect my thoughts. I was shocked that he was standing up for me at all. But standing up to Takahiro of all people… This was something I didn't think would ever happen. However, it was the only way he could stay with me since I wasn't able to convince his brother myself.
That must mean… that Misaki really does want to stay with me.
Even after last night and earlier this morning, I still was having a hard time believing that he wanted to stay with me. After everything that happened, he should have ran. My explanations, apologies, and promises for the future… those shouldn't have been enough to keep him around. I didn't deserve someone as kind and innocent as him.
"Misaki," the older Takahashi gasped, still in disbelief. "You mean, you knew that Usagi was leaving for a while?" The younger only nodded, still trying to hold back tears of anger. "But you said he just left for good and you didn't know about it."
"I forgot. I'm sorry, Nii-chan. I've caused this whole mess." He turned to me, more tears finally spilling. What I wouldn't have given to hold him in my arms at that moment and wipe away those tears. "I'm sorry, Usagi-san."
Takahiro sighed and pushed up his glasses to rub his eyes. "Misaki, you should listen more closely to the person looking after you." He pulled his hands away from his face to reveal a much softer look in his eyes. "Please, stop thinking you're a burden to everyone. There's no way you ever could be. If you had done something to anger Usagi, he would have told you or me and it would have been resolved. Honestly, I wonder how your brain works sometimes."
He walked up to his younger brother and ruffled his hair, similar to what I always do. A warm smile tugged at his lips as he looked at me too. I was still in a state of disbelief over Misaki standing up for me and lying to his brother about what had happened. I wasn't expecting Takahiro to be so calm about everything now.
"So, Usagi, are you sure Misaki won't be a burden on you if he continues to stay?" Both Misaki and I audibly gasped. "He really seems adamant on staying with you. If you're sure you enjoy his company."
I felt so relieved, like I had last night when Misaki finally admitted his feelings for me. This was absolutely perfect and I couldn't help but smile widely, a rarity for me around other people besides my lover. Both the Takahashi brothers were giving me the second chance that I was begging for.
"I would love to have him stay. I wouldn't have it any other way."
"Then it's settled. Until he graduates and gets a job."
Misaki let out a squeak. It could have been a cry of joy or it could have been from a sob because he had started crying again. Either way, I knew that he was happy, which in turn made me incredibly happy as well.
"Thank you, Nii-chan," he whimpered.
Takahiro pulled his brother into a tight hug, which he objected to immediately, saying that he was too old for him to be doting over and that I was right there watching. He ignored the cries and continued to hold him, obviously glad that things could go back to normal and he would be happy once again.
When he finally released him, he walked over to me and extended his hand for me to shake. His grip was a little bit tighter than usual. I stared into his eyes to see that they were also abnormal. Darker.
"If something like this ever happens again, I will not go this easy on you."
"Nii-chan!" Misaki cried out. "Don't be like that!"
I smiled. "It won't. I swear it."
After all, I had gotten my second chance. Why would I mess up again?