A/N; Omigod! I know…it's been so long since I updated this one. I really only started this story to punish the L in another story I read. And then I realized I was really torturing him and I felt bad…so I stopped. But recently a reader has begged me to finish it, so I will. I think there's only going to be one more chapter after this one.

Disclaimer: I don't own L or Light…like always.

Light was depressed. Dealing with an emotionally fragile L had affected his job performance. After too many nights staying up to console L as he cried himself to sleep, Light just couldn't function. He was told to take a leave of absence until he could take care of his personal issues.

His coworkers expressed sympathy even though they had no idea what was going on between him and L. Aizawa and Mogi seemed glad to see him leave but Mikami, one of Light's frequent research partners wished him a quick return with an optimistic smile. "Don't worry. You'll be back soon. You just need a little break. That's all. As soon as you clear things up with L, you'll be back in no time."

Light now had no job to go to every morning. He was forced to watch as L struggled out of bed. L was exhausted and his eyes were red from crying. Light was surprised that L wasn't told to take a leave of absence as well. But L still hauled himself off to work every day, leaving Light alone and miserable.

Light just wished there was some way to find a sense of closure. Maybe he needed to force L to go to therapy so they could move past this horrible incident. Light also wished L would prosecute his rapist. However, L had explained to him clearly why he couldn't do that. L had to keep his identity a secret. A trial was out of the question. It made Light wonder if the person knew L and knew that L wouldn't be able to take him to court.

Light waited every day for L to come home from work. L's schedule was still varied but Light was determined to wait up for him no matter what time L got home. As soon as L arrived home, he would hurry past Light with his eyes downcast and get something to eat for dinner. If Light tried to touch him, L would flinch away. It was very frustrating. Most nights, Light woke up in the middle of the night to find L having a nightmare. He would wake L up and console him and try to get L back to sleep. Light didn't know how much longer he would be able to live like this, to have L so close to him and yet so far away.

It had been three months already since the "incident". Finally, L was showing some positive signs. He was eating a little better and he had finally walked into the house without running away. Light wanted to jump him right there because he missed L so much, but he restrained himself and gradually pulled L into his arms.

"L, you're shaking," Light whispered.

L ducked his head. "It's hard to forget. I realize that you will not do anything to hurt me…but I can't forget. Whenever anyone wants to touch me, I can't. I have to make myself do it."

Light held onto L. "I can't stand how anyone could ever make you feel so helpless. You're such a strong person. To see you brought so low…it kills me."

"I will get past it, eventually," L murmured. "It will be easier now that I can have sex with you again."

"Whoa, are you sure you're ready for this? This is the first time we've embraced. You don't want sex yet, do you?"

"But if I'm ready for it, we can. I-I was afraid that if I got close to you, it would lead to sex. I wanted to be absolutely sure that I was not pregnant with his child before I had sex with you again. I wanted to be sure…"

Light cupped L's face in his hands. "You shouldn't have to worry about things like this. I'll never forgive him."

"But, Raito-kun, he is your friend."

"No friend of mine would ever rape you."

"Acquaintance then."

"I don't care who he was. I'll make him pay for what he did to you. Just point him out to me and I'll beat him to a pulp."

L leaned his head against Light's chest. "You are too kind, Raito-kun. I don't deserve you."

"What are you talking about?"

L sighed. "He was right. You should have married someone more suitable to you. I'm tying you down. You have almost no social life since you married me. I am a burden to you."

"He told you that?"

L nodded. "He loves you probably more passionately than I ever could."

"Bullshit," Light growled. "If he really loved me, he would realize that when he hurt you, he hurt me too. There's no chance I'll love him back. There was really no chance we'd break up and I'd go for him but now there's definitely no chance. He's the last person I'd ever consider. I'll kill him."

"But…we haven't had any children."

"That's not your fault. We're still young. There's time."

"But-"

"No, don't even think about it," Light growled. "Don't listen to a word he says. He's trying to break you emotionally as well as physically. I can't stand him! What a cowardly bitch."

"Please, don't be so angry on my behalf. I do not want you killing him. You do not need to become a criminal just because of what he has done to me." L clutched Light's shirt. "Please, don't do it. I don't want to see you sent to jail."

Light kissed L's cheek. "I can't. I don't even know who did it. I'm glad you're so concerned for me though, but you should be more concerned with yourself. Is he going to try to kill you so you don't bring him in?"

L shook his head and moved away from Light. "No, he knows I can't go to trial. He was only doing it to hurt me because I'm not worthy of you. He won't target anyone else. It's perfectly safe now."

"I don't think it's perfectly safe, exactly. But if you feel secure again, I won't press it. It's good to have you back, L."

L smiled shyly. "I've missed you too, Raito-kun. I wish I could have been intimate with you again sooner. I wasn't sure if you would still want me after I've been tainted by another man."

"Are you kidding? Of course I'd still want you. If it was up to me, I'd take you that same night and kiss you all over and fuck you until you couldn't remember his touch anymore, only mine."

L looked surprised, but then his expression softened. "Raito-kun is so fiercely loyal to me. I am lucky to have you."

"Damn right. And I'm lucky to have you. Don't even start thinking that you're no good. It's what he wants. We can't let him win."

L smiled. "Alright."