101 Things I Shouldn't Have Learned At The Academy

by Major Trouble

A list of 101 things Trouble Kelp never should have learned at the Academy- but did. Some ideas are worse than others. Some are just plain stupid. Some you might not understand. WARNING: Some not-so-nice content. Nothing graphic.

4. 61 Through 80

Disclaimer: I do not own Root, Vinyaya, Holly, Trouble, Artemis Fowl, Frond, Newt, Vein, the LEP, or the Academy (did I miss anything?) because they belong to the wonderful Eoin Colfer, and I is not he.

I learned…

61. To NEVER call the commander Julius. (Well, duh!) (FF's LuckyNaruto08)

62. To never ask out Holy Short. For those of you wondering, she kicks you (you-know-where) and won't talk to you for at least two months (not that she ever talks to me anyway…) (FF's LuckyNaruto08)

63. That I'm allergic to pineapples. And it's one of those embarrassing allergy… things. (FF's ..x.)

64. To not use Holly Short's backpack to smuggle beer into my dorm. …Ouch. (AFC's lordsurya)

65. That I'm very stupid, and immature, too.

66. Drumming. Not my best choice for electives… 'Save a drum, bang a drummer.'

67. That you don't bother insulting your superiors in another language. Gift of tongues, you idiot! (Okay, I'm not going to talk to myself anymore, that's just weird.)

68. That talking to yourself is weird.

69. That it hurts to iron your hand.

70. That ironing your hand intentionally (on a dare, even I'm not that stupid!) hurts more.

71. To not read Holly/Root fan fiction (based off of the Mud Men's Artemis Fowl books) on Academy computers.

72. To not read anything pairing Holly and me, either.

73. That watching Vinyaya's reaction to seeing someone reading Root/Vin is hysterical- and a video that has at least 5k hits online!

74. To not stay up late ,aking a list of ethings I nevet

75. Lili Frond? Horrible. Newt? Same. Those blond elves whose names I don't know? (For the record, eight guys and a girl) Okay. Vein? Awesome. Holly Short? Wish I knew.

76. To never pair myself with Holly Short in my creative writing assignment.

77. To be careful what I write in the notebook I bring to every class- seeing as Holly's in every one of them, and sits next to me (extremely reluctantly) in two of them.

78. Calling Holly Short by her last name like you do with your guy friends is an insult to her. Oops… STUPID TROUBLE! STUPID! Okay, sorry, talking to myself again….

79. That making myself look like a total fool in front of the entire Academy, and LEP, just so I could lay Holly Short (as part of a bet with her) is TOTALLY worth it. And the funny looks and insults. And the detentions every day until I graduate.

80. Holly Short? FUCKING AMAZING! (No pun intended.)