Hey! It's been a while since I've updated this. Honestly, I wasn't really planning on updating this anymore (because I'm lazy as f**k and I still have three stories to update…). Besides, I thought that if I kept updating this and putting in stuff that happened to me each day, it would become endless and eventually, boring.

So yes, I've said this quite a few times before, but this may be the last chapter. I won't update this again unless something REALLY big happens (like I finally got a boyfriend or something, lol).

So, regarding Natsume and Riyah…they broke up, again…

Maybe.

To be honest, I'm those type of people who 'live under a rock' and 'couldn't care less about my surroundings.' Don't get me wrong, I love gossip, but I'm not very up-to-date.

I mean, I don't even know what EXO is! (That was exaggeration. I do know what EXO is, I just don't get why they're so popular. Oh boy, I'm gonna get so many flames by saying that…) You get the point.

Therefore, I'm not so sure how accurate and how up-to-date my information is, but I'll just tell you guys everything that I know.

So, if you're Chinese or study Chinese literature/poetry/whatever, you may or may not have heard of the story, White Snake (白蛇传). If you want to know about the story, please search it up on google or something.

About a month or two ago, our school was going perform the play, White Snake. Surprisingly—very surprisingly—Natsume got the lead role. (I JUST DON'T BELIEVE IT. HOW DID HE GET THAT ROLE? ARE THE TEACHERS BLIND?)

Anyways, the story is actually a love story, which meant that Natsume and the lead female role would have to kiss.

According to Tomoko, Natsume told Riyah before the play that they would have to kiss. No big deal, right? It's just a play. I was planning on watching it (I mean, who wouldn't want to watch Natsume playing the lead role? Haha) Friday after school, and coincidentally, Natsume Riyah, and a few of their friends were also staying after school. I was with Tomoko and another friend.

Really, watching those two…I don't know if I should say 'awww, they're so cute' or 'ugh…' They were all over each other, hugging, kissing, flirting. Yeah. I mean, the feeling I had when watching them wasn't really jealousy, but more like the feeling of watching a movie.

So we hung out a bit until it was time for the show, Natsume and the other people who were in the play left a little earlier, giving Riyah a goodbye kiss.

We made our way to the theatre, and the play started.

Honestly, the play was pretty good. All the actors and stuff did a very good job (including Natsume), and they even had some orchestra students playing live in the background (the lead violinist is a friend of mine, she's amazing. Like, really, really good. She's professionally good.)

Of course, me and my friends COULD NOT stop laughing whenever Natsume is on stage because, well, I don't really know how to explain it. I mean, he did good, but you know that feeling when watching someone you know act? It's just really funny.

The play went on, love story, blah blah. The lead male and the lead female get together, blah blah. Finally, the kiss scene. It was sweet. It made me smile. It was obviously fake, it was either a kiss on the cheek or they didn't make contact at all. I mean, it's a high school play! They wouldn't make their students actually kiss unless they volunteer to or something.

But then, when I looked at Riyah, SHE WAS CRYING.

CRYING, for God's sake!

I mean, WHY would she be crying? It's a play! It's a fake kiss! WTF.

The play ended, we left, and that was that.

Then one day, I was on the metro with Tomoko and we were talking about what happened. Apparently, Riyah bought a water-bottle full of vodka into the theatre and kept drinking it throughout the play.

Her parent's were sitting right in front of her, for pete's sake. And it's a school theatre.

Tomoko also told me that Riyah broke up with Natsume because of that. She told me that she wasn't very sure about that, but she heard other people saying it.

Also, Riyah already found a rebound. Quick, huh? Nonoko told me that she saw Riyah post a picture or her and her new boyfriend kissing on Wechat. Nonoko and Hotaru were debating on whether it was Natsume or not.

When I looked at the picture, I was sure it's not Natsume. The hairstyle was similar, but a little different, and we could only see the back.

But seriously, that was a quick change.

However, the funny part is that Riyah still get's jealous over Natsume. She doesn't like it when the lead female of the play gets near him, she doesn't like it when he talks to other girls, and so on. I mean, YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW. JUST MOVE ON. WHAT HE DOES IS NONE OF YOUR F-ING BUSINESS.

Is it some kind of mental illness? The kind where you think 'if I can't have him, no one can?'

That's just insane.

Well, honestly, this is none of my business either, but it's just…as an outsider, I really don't understand what they're thinking. It's kind of frustrating and annoying, you know?

But that's it for the 'wacko' part of the story. Let's move on.

Have I ever told you guys that I'm in the same PE and English class as Natsume? Well, I am. I especially like English class because of that, but also because my good friends are in that class and the teacher is pretty fun. I look forward to English class everyday, though I wish we could do things that are funner…

The teacher occasionally gives us assigned seating (it changes each class), so sometimes I get assigned to sit next to Natsume. It's actually pretty nice, since he talks to me casually when I sit next to him and I even get to do projects with him! (Though he sucks as a teammate…)

I actually feel really awkward around him, because of everything that happened, so whenever he talks to me I kind of…grow cold towards him. Like I become distant. I don't act naturally. For example, the first time I sat next to him, we had this kind of conversation:

Natsume: Your breathing's really loud.

Me: …uh…ok?

I'm serious. HE ACTUALLY SAID THAT. I was actually thinking in my head 'wtf…' when he told me that. I was thinking what I should answer back, should I have said 'ah, yeah I was in a hurry just now,' or 'that's just how I usually breath.' I actually paused for a while after he said that, thinking about what to answer.

I ended up being awkward and saying 'uh…ok?' I really wanted to bang my head against the table. Every time when he talks to me, I become distant and I answer in a harsh way. I'm not friendly with him. You can say it's kind of my 'business mode.' Everything is strictly business, no friendly chats or anything.

But I loosen up when my friend is talking with us. It becomes somewhat more natural, because if I say something awkward it doesn't just 'hang in the air and becomes more awkward.'

Yep, that's my life.

But because of these small insignificant things, I actually feel like we're…closer to being friends again. Or maybe we're already friends? I have no idea. Sometimes he would say things like 'hey, we've known each other for a long time!' or 'we're good friends, right?' But I would be a dick and say 'uh, no. I don't know you. We're not friends.'

It's actually a way of protecting myself, I guess. I think it's because I don't want to get my hopes up. But by doing that, I think I made everything worse.

That's why right now, I'm going to try extra hard to be friends again and hope that I can support him as a good friend; I'm not hoping to be his girlfriend or anything. I won't say something stupid like that if he says that again.

Ah but, that's not it. There's this thing called SWAN ('Shanghai, Wo Ai Ni' in Chinese, Shanghai, I Love You in English) and it's like a film project for students from something around 13-22 years old.

Students can submit a script revolving love in Shanghai, and if yours get selected, you can build a crew and make it into a short film. I actually submitted one, but sadly, it didn't get selected. Natsume's, on the other hand, got selected. 4th place out of 83 scripts from all around Shanghai. Pretty good. I wish I got selected too…(cry)

So anyways, I was actually planning on joining the crew of a friend of mine, who also got her script selected, but she didn't even want to submit her script in the first place. She only wrote one because it was an assignment for her film class and the teacher really liked her script so he forced her to submit it. She's a really lazy and 'I don't give a shit' person, so I thought against it.

I went to the group chat for the SWAN participants and asked if anyone needed a crew member. This group said they needed a cinematographer (NO idea what that is. It's basically the cameraman, right?) I said I have no experience whatsoever, but I could try.

But then I went to ask Natsume if he needed crew members, and he said he did. He also said something unnecessary like, "oh yeah, speaking of which, what happened to your script?"

"Nothing. It just didn't get selected." I answered a bit irritably at his stupid question. He was definitely, definitely mocking me.

"What!?" His friend gasped dramatically in a teasing (friendly, I guess) way. "I'm so disappointed in you, Mikan."

"Yeah…" I half laughed half sulked. "I'm disappointed too."

"I'm not." Natsume laughed and I glared at him. Inside I was thinking, 'yeah, yeah, bastard. Good for you.'

He said he still needed a few people on his crew, and I asked him what roles he still needed. We went back and forth with this for a while, because he kept asking me what I wanted to do and I kept saying 'I have no idea, what roles do you still need?'

Finally, I became his script supervisor ("you're good at writing, right? Yeah, so you can be the script supervisor") and the screenwriter.

We started Wechatting (just a bit, when it's work related and maybe a little chitchat). We went on a meeting with the SWAN people once (they're professional film makers) and (surprise, surprise), I was the only one would was taking notes.

Natsume sat next to me and he had to lean in to see my computer screen so…I was pretty nervous. It's pressuring when you're in a meeting room with professional people and your crush is like…3cm away.

But really, I'm pretty left out in that group, because the people who were there were the executives (producers, directors, assistant directors, a few others…I don't even know why I was there…maybe because I'm script supervisor…I only know Natsume and another boy there and I don't talk to any of them…). It was pretty sad. I was just tagging along like a lost puppy.

(Actually, part of the reason as to why I joined Natsume's crew and not the person in the SWAN chat was because Hotaru and Nonoko were also in his team. So hell yeah, I'm joining them.)

I honestly don't know if joining his team will bring us a little closer, but I really hope so! It's also going to be really experience gaining (good for college portfolio) and hopefully fun, though we really haven't started anything yet.

The professional guys who are going to help us is actually really rude. The guy who's in charge makes a lot of sarcastic and insulting comments on our script when we showed him the final version (which, by the way, I edited it.) When I saw his texts I really just wanted to swear at him for insulting Natsume's (and mine, since I edited it) work.

I even texted Natsume and asked if I could talk back (Natsume: No! Don't do anything, I want to talk back too, but just leave him.) But in the end, I couldn't help it and talked back (politely). He kept insulting out grammar when he sucks at it himself. Gosh!

So anyways, that dude helped us edit our script and now we have our final version. We still need to translate it into Chinese though, but we have no one who could help translate it. Everyone is either too lazy or either good at English but bad at Chinese, or vice versa.

Sigh…This project is also self-fund. I wonder where we're gonna get the money…How are we going to find actresses/actors? Location? Instruments? I really don't know what's going to happen…But hey, I'm just the script supervisor and screenwriter, I'll leave it to the directors and producers to figure that out. Haha!

By the way, my English teacher encouraged me to join a writing competition! If I can win first place, it'll be published in a popular school magazine and I can even get internship for that magazine! Really hope I'll win…But maybe I shouldn't get my hopes up…Hehe. I might not get selected, just like my script…

I need to prepare my heart and mind for failure…or else I'll get all depressed. Anyways, just pray for me! :D If they actually select my story, I might even publish it here, of course, changing the character's names and stuff so it's easier for you guys to read.

Let's see…Yep. I think that's all I have for now. I wonder if I'll ever update this again…Thanks to that person who commented on my youtube video! (Don't search me up, please. You'll just embarrass me to no end if you do. I hate my youtube channel, with only like four videos and two of which is me screeching on the violin.)

Yes, so please don't get your hopes up on me updating this. If I get my story selected I might post something about that but…Yeah. Just don't get your hopes up. Just think of this as finished.

Merry Belated Christmas and Happy Early New Year!