2 – Kitten
We're all mad here.
(Timeline: Follows directly on from chapter one – a gap of less than a week.)
Ever since the Corporate Wars, Hyperion had required that entrance to premises operated by the company be strictly controlled. That meant at least one guard at every entrance, and two at the main entrance – even when it was still under construction. And Helios was no exception. Being a space station, it was quite difficult to break into without being noticed, but regulations were regulations, and so the guards took it in turns to man the two main entrances – the spaceport in the Launching Station and the fast travel in the Hub of Heroism. It was, to say the least, dreary work.
The construction workers didn't work on Sundays, meaning that those days were particularly slow – the only people to come and go were the other guards, usually. Which was why the guards on duty in the Hub of Heroism were rather stunned by the arrival of a buxom woman in a revealing dress.
"What's your business here, ma'am?" asked one of the guards, trying his best to keep his eyes on the woman's face. "Helios is still closed to the public."
The woman flashed a brilliant smile, making the guard's stomach swoop. "The name's Moxxi, sugar. I'm here to see Jack."
"Oh… um…" The guard rubbed his chin, suddenly wishing he'd bothered to shave this morning. "He, uh… he did send a memo… where is it, now… Dave? Dave!"
The second guard, who had been staring blankly at the woman (though not at her face), his mouth gaping slightly, grunted sharply and snapped back to reality. "Huh?"
"Where's the memo from Jack?"
"Oh… right…" The guard called Dave shuffled the papers on the security desk around until he found the memo in question. "Here."
The first guard read it quickly. "Right… Okay, I suppose you're clear to go through, then." He cleared his throat sharply. He prided himself on his professional demeamour – contact with the public was a big part of being a security guard, and gawking at women who walked through your checkpoint was a good way to get yourself told off (or slapped) – but even he was having trouble with this woman.
"Okay… take this pass…" He handed the woman a small plastic ID card. "He says he'll meet you in his office… if he's not there… just wait for him, and he'll be there shortly. The lift straight across the terminal. If you need anything, just find a steward and ask."
"Gorgeous," said the woman, flashing him another smile. He felt his cheeks redden very slightly, and hoped she wouldn't notice. "Thanks, sugar. See you later."
The guard stood aside, and the woman swept past him, flashing Dave a swift wink as she passed before she vanished down the stairs into the central terminal. Dave flushed deep red, making him look eerily similar to a near-ripe tomato.
"Better get rid of that memo, Dave. He said to shred it once she came through. Dave? Dave!"
Dave, who had been staring after the woman, came back to reality again with a jolt. "Huh? Oh, right..."
"Honestly, man," sighed the guard as Dave took the memo over to the shredder, "this is why you're still a junior."
Moxxi was still grinning at how easily malleable the guards had been when she entered the central terminal, which promptly wiped the grin off her face and replaced it with a look of astonishment. Having lived on Pandora all her life, Moxxi was well accustomed to the slapdash buildings and towns typical of Pandora. Luxury, on the other hand, was almost completely alien to her, which was why the glittering expanse of the central terminal made her stop and stare.
The central terminal was a moderately large plaza, flanked by all manner of gleaming structures. The colour scheme was perfectly balanced – yellow was a tricky colour to work with, as it could easily be made too bright, but this had been done beautifully – and small, perfectly shaped hedges were dotted around the plaza. It was, in all, the most astonishing thing Moxxi had ever seen. She could easily imagine it bustling with corporate and consumer activity, but at the moment, it was completely deserted, and silent as the grave.
Pulling herself together, she walked down the stairs and across the terminal to the sleek glass doors that covered a spacious lift. There was a small button and scanner near the doors. Moxxi pressed the button. There was a sharp beep, splitting the silence like a thunderbolt, and then a calm female voice rang out.
"Authorisation required. Please present identification, or step into the scanner."
Moxxi hesitated, then held the plastic card the guard had given her in front of the scanner. A low buzzing noise started up abruptly, then stopped again. The glass doors slid open with a soft hiss of air.
"User authorised," said the voice. "Have a nice day."
Moxxi stepped into the lift. The doors closed behind her, and the lift began to rise smoothly. It stopped after only a few seconds, and Moxxi stepped out into a narrow corridor. It was not silent up here – the constant beeping of keypads and the occasional thumping noise as one of the office CL4P-TPs got frustrated filled the air. None of the robots paid her any attention or even acknowledged her presence as she walked past them; this didn't bother her, as she was not a massive fan of the infamous, ubiquitous Claptraps.
The corridor continued beyond the rows of desks. This section had numerous glass windows lining the walls, allowing Moxxi to see down into the bowels of the station. At the end of the corridor was a massive metal door, with another scanner on the wall next to it. She presented the ID card again, and the door slid open with as little noise as could be expected. Moxxi stepped through the door.
After the central terminal, Moxxi had been expecting something pretty lavish up here, and she was not disappointed. Two large water features dominated the room, which was high-ceilinged, well lit and mostly empty. Beyond the water features, a small flight of stairs led up to a raised platform, on which sat a large desk. Three large pictures of the Hyperion founders looked down on the room, and a small section of one side of the room housed several bookshelves and chairs. But what was inside the room was nothing compared to what was outside, and it had Moxxi enraptured.
The far wall of the room was almost entirely glass, giving a breathtaking view of the lava-stricken surface of Elpis. Moxxi had never been to the moon, and until now had not particularly wanted to, as she'd heard it wasn't all that nice. From this perspective, however, it looked dazzlingly beautiful.
"Nice, huh?"
Moxxi blinked, and her eyes refocused. Jack was striding down the stairs ahead of her, passing between the water features. He looked far less tired than when they had met in the bar at T-Bone Junction.
"Must've cost a pretty penny."
"It cost a dazzlingly beautiful penny," replied Jack, "and then some." He made a small bow and gestured towards the chair in front of his desk. Moxxi strolled up the stairs and sat down, taking in every detail of the room. Jack sat down in his chair and pulled two glasses out from under the desk.
"For obvious reasons, I've only got Hyperion whiskey," he said, producing a dusty red and black bottle that was about three-quarters full. "Hope that's okay."
"Fine by me, sugar," replied Moxxi. She took the glass Jack offered her with a smile and took a sip. It wasn't the best she'd tasted, but it was passable.
"So how's things down there?" asked Jack. "Haven't been down since last week."
"Oh, same old," said Moxxi airily. "Busy up here?"
"Ridiculously," groaned Jack. "We're already behind schedule on the inner hull, and now somebody down there's initiated yellow-grade quarantine protocols. Contagious infection," he translated, correctly interpreting Moxxi's quizzical look. "We've no idea what. We're waiting on a hazmat team to get here from HQ. Can't do anything until we work out what's going on down there."
They talked for a good hour, with their laughter getting steadily louder as the bottle of whiskey got steadily emptier. Moxxi didn't usually drink during the day, but there was something about Jack's smooth persuasive tone that put her at ease, and after several glasses it hardly mattered anyway.
"Do you know," said Moxxi, her voice quite slurred after quite a few glasses, "of my last boyfriend?" She paused, thinking over the sentence in her head, and decided it was close enough to gramatically correct.
"I don't," replied Jack, smiling. He had drunk only slightly less than Moxxi, but was only slurring very slightly.
"He's…" Moxxi gathered her senses. "He's a Vault Hunter. Opened the Vault with his friends. Killed the Dets… Dres… Derstoyer." That sounded right. "Name of M… M…" Moxxi swallowed. "Moor… dee… kai."
"Oh yes?" Jack was sober enough to partially conceal the surprise on his face, but he doubted Moxxi would have noticed even if he hadn't.
"Couldn't stand him." Moxxi leaned across the desk, putting her face quite close to Jack's. "Always lookin' after his bird… never had time for me…"
"But that's tragic," said Jack, still smiling. "How could anyone not have time for you?"
Moxxi laughed. The laugh was too loud and went on for far longer than it should have, in the typical fashion of drunk people.
"There's a secret behind this," she said, moving her hands up and down the sides of her body to indicate herself.
"Oh really?" asked Jack provocatively.
Moxxi nodded. "But it's a secret." She put a finger to her lips dramatically and blew, clearly intending to go "shhh" but only succeeding in spraying Jack with spit.
"And you wouldn't consider telling me?" Jack casually produced a pale yellow handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his face.
"Hmm… maybe." Moxxi grinned seductively. "But you gotta do something for me first."
Jack raised his eyebrows, still smiling. "Such as?"
Mordecai was woken from his drunken slumber by way of being poked firmly in the ribs by Brick. He sat up groggily, rubbing his side – being poked firmly in the ribs by Brick was no laughing matter.
"What?"
"You been locked in here for almost a week, Mordy," said Brick. "You okay?"
"Huh? Oh… right. Yeah, I'm fine." Mordecai rubbed his eyes.
Brick looked around at the littany of empty rakk ale bottles on the floor. "Well, something's driven you to the drink pretty bad."
"I don't wanna talk about it, Brick."
"Well, okay. Roland's got a job for ya, but he says it can wait if you're not feeling up to it."
Mordecai stretched his legs, his joints clicking. "Nah, I'm okay. I'll go see him now."
"Okay." Brick turned to leave. "And Mordy? You might wanna ease up on the drink a bit. Never know when we might have to defend the city."
"Don't worry 'bout that, Brick," replied Mordecai, lifting his favourite sniper rifle onto his shoulder. "I'm an even better shot when I'm drunk, you know."
Moxxi was suffering pretty badly from the aftereffects of the booze. She couldn't remember all of the events of the day before, but she knew she'd enjoyed herself.
Groaning, she dragged herself to her feet and staggered into the bathroom. Splashing water on her face, she looked out the window. The ragged form of Helios glittered above her as ever, mocking her with its beauty. She looked away, cringing – she hoped she hadn't let it slip to Jack, but the beauty of the station had disconcerted her more than she cared to admit.
After she'd finished washing, she carefully applied her makeup, covering the bags under her eyes, and went downstairs to make herself a cup of coffee. She could hear a few people over in the lobby, talking and laughing, but the first show wasn't due to start for another hour yet, so she had plenty of time.
When Moxxi entered the kitchen, she found a small surprise. Sitting on the bench was a small red and black tin. Moxxi picked the tin up gingerly and smelt the contents – she was no expert, but this smelt like very good quality coffee.
Under the tin was a small note, written in a neat but hasty cursive script. Moxxi read it quickly, and a slight grin spread over her face despite her headache.
Hyperion's finest. Thought you might need it. J.