Chapter 2

Don't you need

I haven't wet the bed in thirty years and it's not that time of the month for me so it's not blood either. This is really starting to annoy me, Hunnigan thought when she woke in a wet patch and realized the slickness of arousal spread halfway down her thighs as well. She kicked the blanket aside and sat up, letting out a frustrated scowl as she did. Frustrated at the stains, frustrated at the mere thought of having had an orgasm in her sleep, furious at her body for having the audacity of being involved in such unauthorized activities.

"Why do you do this?" she asked, glaring at her lap and sighing agitatedly as she stood up, gathered the sheets and went to throw them into the washing machine, painfully aware of the shameless wetness between her legs as she moved.

After a quick shower and breakfast, she left the coffee to brew and went to check on the baby rat she'd had thawing in the fridge overnight. She put it in some warm water to heat it up a little before offering it to Carl/Coral. A lot of people cringed at feeding snakes, Hunnigan didn't understand why. It happened in nature, difference was the prey was alive there, not pre-killed. Occasionally, as a treat, Hunnigan did offer Carl/Coral live prey, but she didn't often risk her snake getting injured by a live rodent defending itself against the hungry reptile.

"Hello, my name is Ingrid, I'll be your waitress and your chef, and today I have for you... a delicious, delicious baby rat, lovingly prepared in... the fridge and warm water, just the way you like 'em," Hunnigan chatted to the snake as she opened the tank and coaxed Carl/Coral out from beneath the half round bark he was hiding under. She picked up the rodent with the feeding tongs and presented Carl/Coral with it. He hesitated for a few seconds before eagerly latching onto the prey's head and beginning to devour it.

"Hey, you're supposed to chew thirty times before you swallow," Hunnigan jested as she sat back by the tank with her coffee and watched the snake eat. She was stalling, she didn't really feel like going to work and facing Helena today, not after yet another somewhat mortifying dream Helena had starred in.

"I can imagine how calling in sick would be like. 'No, I can't come in today. Wet dreams about a co-worker. Very awkward'. I bet that would go over well," Hunnigan snorted. Carl/Coral had nothing to add, he finished devouring his food, leaving Hunnigan with zero excuses to stay at home.

"You're not helping," she quirked an eyebrow at him and in response, he flicked his tongue out at her.

"Is it just my imagination or is Hunnigan in a super bitchy mood today?" Helena mumbled to Leon as they headed toward the break room after sitting through a briefing Hunnigan had delivered spiced with extra fire and brimstone. Helena almost felt bad for the agent who'd practically gotten his head torn off for asking a question. Admittedly, his question had been a stupid one ("If we know where the bad guys are, why won't we just go in the get them?"), but it wasn't like Hunnigan to lose her temper even with the stupid questions ("Because all we have is a rumored location from an unconfirmed asset, going in without further intelligence would be about as smart as diving head first into unknown waters, so unless everyone wants to risk having their skulls cracked, we're not making a move until we have more information. Next question!").

"Thank goodness, I thought I was the only one who felt that way," Leon smirked as he poured himself coffee and took a seat.
"I wonder what's up, she seemed fine yesterday," Helena frowned a little.
"Maybe she just needs to get laid," Leon shrugged and Helena quirked an eyebrow.

"I'm amazed you haven't offered to help her with that," she snickered into her coffee mug and Leon chuckled. He was aware of his reputation and that some people considered him a bit of a playboy, but the truth was, he preferred shameless, playful flirting over actually doing anything... at least when it came to women he worked with. He admitted to having thought about it, he was relatively certain he wasn't the only man in the world who'd, frankly put, at least once thought about fucking his female friends... but he wouldn't seriously act on it, he knew that more than often fucking fucked everything up.

"I don't think I'm her type," he shrugged innocently.
"You don't consider yourself someone's type? I gotta call the Pope, this surely counts as a miracle," Helena taunted and Leon laughed softly.

"Hey, I would totally be her type if I were equipped with the right parts. Alas, currently, I think you'd be more her type," he grinned and took a bite off his sandwich before washing it down with coffee.
"Is that so?" Helena's eyebrow rose in surprise, "She doesn't set off my gaydar at all," she then mused, shaking her head a little.

"And why would I?" Hunnigan inquired agitatedly from the door, startling Helena badly enough to make her spill her coffee.

"I didn't mean it like that, I just..." she stammered.
"I'd imagine you two would have better things to do than to sit here gossipping about my personal life," the intelligence liaison scowled, grabbed her salad from the fridge and slammed the door shut with such force the glass bottles inside clinked.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't..." Helena tried to apologize, but Hunnigan wasn't listening, instead she marched out with sharp, agitated steps.
"Ouch," Leon finally commented after she'd gone.
"You could've warned me that she was standing right behind me," Helena narrowed her eyes at him as she reached to grab a paper towel and wiped the spilled coffee from the table's wooden surface.

"I don't talk with my mouth full, I was raised right," Leon said innocently and Helena was tempted to slap the back of his head.
"I think she needs a night out. We should take her like... clubbin' or something," Helena then said and Leon burst out laughing, coughing up a piece of bread. He shook his head and swallowed hard before commenting.

"Can you really imagine her at a club, glowsticking like there's no tomorrow?"
"No, which exactly why I must see it actually happen."

"Hey..." Helena began quietly as she walked up to Hunnigan's desk. The older woman glared at her and proceeded to ignore her then, returning her attention to the field reports filling her screen.

"Look, I'm sorry about the stupid comment I made. I didn't mean anything by it, and for what it's worth, we weren't gossipping exactly, it's just... You seemed pissed off even prior to my thoughtless remark, and..."
"Well, excuse me, I haven't had sex in half a decade and it's starting to get on my nerves. That the answer you were looking for?" Hunnigan inquired venomously. She'd delivered her comment with a sarcastic tone which implied she had been exaggerating, but as she paused to think about it for a few seconds, she realized she hadn't been. Actually it had been over half a decade.

Wow. Well, that's... disappointing, she thought silently.

"Of course it isn't, and I..." Helena began but didn't know how to continue. She sighed deeply and hung her head a little.
"I'm sorry. Let me make it up to you, let's go out. Drinks are on me," she tried then, wishing she didn't come across as transparent as she knew she was being. A fool's wish, as if she could honestly slip something like that past Hunnigan.

"No thanks."

"Oh, come on! When's the last time you went out?" Helena argued.
"Not long enough ago. I don't like going out, I don't much like dealing with people, it's exhausting. My idea of fun is staying at home doing nothing."

"Hunnigan. Seriously. I get it, I don't always feel like dealing with people either, but it could be fun. Who knows, you might even meet someone interesting," she grinned and Hunnigan rolled her eyes.

"Who the hell says I want to meet someone?" she questioned at the presumption and Helena shrugged.
"Well, you don't need to keep them around forever," she offered and Hunnigan burst out laughing, shaking her head.

"Oh, God. You really don't know me at all."
"How could I? Just another reason why you should agree to hang out with me and give me a chance to get to know you," Helena reasoned with a smug smile tugging the corner of her mouth.

"I'm gonna regret agreeing to this, aren't I?" Hunnigan sighed.
"If you don't, you're not doing it right."

"Okay. Fine. I'll let you drag me out of my lair, but I reserve the right to spontaneuously abandon you the moment I want to go home."
"Deal," Helena chuckled.