Chapter 5: I feel you

Hunnigan got off her bicycle and went to lock it before turning to head into the building. As she was crossing the parking lot, she briefly glanced across as movement caught her attention. An involuntary reaction, an instinct built in every human, she thought nothing of it at first. Then she had to look again, this time putting more thought into it. It was Helena, but not her car. She reached over to the driver to plant a kiss onto his cheek before stepping out and waving goodbye to the man as he drove off.

The tidal wave of jealousy crashing over Hunnigan surprised her. It was ridiculous. Logically, Hunnigan knew perfectly well she had absolutely no claim to Helena. Hell, the younger woman didn't even know about Hunnigan's feelings for her. But as ridiculous as Hunnigan knew it was, it was also surprisingly painful.

Well, of course she has a boyfriend, why am I even surprised? she mused silently as she walked up the stone steps toward the entrance of the building. She was surprised because Helena had confessed to feeling lonely and had never mentioned a boyfriend... which, Hunnigan felt, she should've done before practically throwing herself at Hunnigan the other night. Unless the boyfriend was a very recent addition to Helena's life of course.

Regardless, just goes to show I was right about her merely wanting to use me as an experiment to satisfy her curiosity, Hunnigan sighed, stepped into the elevator and hit the button.

Once at her floor, she headed to her desk, logged on and began putting together briefs and coordinating missions. Just another day like so many before it... but somehow it felt disappointing. Life still hadn't begun.

"What the hell is this?" Helena frowned at Hunnigan. She knew what it was, but engaged in some theatrics regardless. She took the paper from Helena, adjusted her glasses and pretended to read.
"I believe this is a briefing containing details of your next assignment, you're on protective detail and are to extract a subject. Looks pretty much like a routine lift," she shrugged innocently.

"In Turkmenistan!" Helena scoffed.
"Evidently, yes. Is there a problem?"

"You're damn fucking right there's a problem, I don't wanna go there."
"Well, I'm afraid you don't have a choice," Hunnigan quirked an eyebrow.

"Admit it, you assigned me this shit job just to get rid of me for a while," Helena narrowed her eyes and towered over Hunnigan, leaning her right arm to Hunnigan's desk as the put her left hand on her hip defiantly.

"If you have a problem with how coordinate missions and assign agents to them, feel free to take it up with director Shepard," Hunnigan commented confidently in a low, calm voice. They both knew doing that would be a waste of time, Shepard wasn't one to put up with petty issues, there was a big picture to consider, one or two agents' personal preferences didn't matter. Besides, he'd never had any reason to question Hunnigan's competency, occasionally he even let her overstep her boundaries, a decision he'd never honestly regretted. If Helena were to complain about a mission to him, he'd laugh her out of the office.

"I'm specifically assigned for domestic deployments, this isn't my department and you know it."

"We're short on agents at the moment, everyone's gotta step out of their comfort zone every once in a while to compesate," Hunnigan said honestly, "Besides, being deployed internationally wasn't an issue for you when I indulged your personal vendetta and let you run off to China," she added, her eyebrow quirking.

"That was different!" Helena hissed. It was, they both knew it, but at the same time, Hunnigan did have a point.

"You have your orders, you can stand here whining about them or you can go and get it over with. As I said, if you have a problem, take it up with Shepard. Otherwise, do your job and let me do mine," Hunnigan said in a frosty voice before turning back to her computer and ignoring Helena.

Leon pulled the earbuds from his ears and was about to exit the gym at the training facility in the HQ's basement floor when a loud thumping noise caught his attention. He'd thought he was alone at the gym and went to see who it was.

"Whoa, what did Everlast do to deserve that kind of a beating?" he inquired amusedly as he watched Helena smash her fists against the punching bag with excessive force and speed, sweat coating her face, neck and shoulders left visible by the tank top she wore.

"Back off, or you're next," Helena threatened in a huff and delivered another series of punches in a furious staccato. Instead of commenting, Leon went to stand behind the bag and held it in place for her. After a few more minutes of angry beating, Helena stopped, exhausted and out of breath, and still not feeling much better than she had when she'd started in the hopes of being able to get rid of her frustration.

"Wanna talk about it?" Leon finally asked when Helena sunk her teeth into the strap at the glove's wrist to pull it open. She explained the reason for her frustration as she pulled the gloves off and proceeded to wipe the sweat from her face with a small towel. Leon shrugged a little after listening to her grievance.

"I don't honestly think Hunnigan's petty enough to assign you on a crappy mission just to get back at you for something," he said.
"I didn't either until just now," Helena huffed.

"Well, have you actually done something to piss her off so badly she'd do something like that?" Leon then asked a very valid question. Helena couldn't really think of anything. Well, other than the whole throwing herself at Hunnigan the morning after excessive drinking, but Hunnigan had said not to worry about it. While Helena wasn't quite willing to say the matter was closed, she didn't think Hunnigan had let it genuinely bother her either.

"I don't think so, but I don't know, I've done a lot of stupid things recently, kissing her at the club is just the top of the ice berg."
"Oh?" Leon's eyebrows rose in surprise. Helena realized he didn't know about the events that had followed afterward. How could he, she hadn't told him and Hunnigan certainly wasn't the type to kiss and tell.

"No need to get so excited, nothing happened," Helena rolled her eyes at him and he sighed in disappointment.
"Yeah, Hunnigan said as much, but I was kind of hoping she was just being modest."

"Well, it's not that I didn't try," Helena blurted out before taking a long sip of water. Leon didn't comment, just stared at her, expecting for further details. She sighed.
"I'm not exactly used to being turned down, it was embarrassing," she admitted.

"So, let me get this straight-ish..."
"Ha-ha," Helena interjected sarcastically at his terrible pun.

"...you made a pass at her, she turned you down, and now to get back at you for expressing interest toward her, she's shipping you off to Turkmenistan," Leon summarized.
"Well, it sounds far-fetched when you say it like that!"

"Maybe because it actually is far-fetched?"
"Oh, screw you for being right," Helena scoffed and Leon chuckled. Another moment for the history books, a woman admitting a man was right.

"So, how about you deal with this like the professional adult that you are, go do your job and think nothing of it. Work's not meant to be fun anyway," he smirked.

Routine lift, nothing broken, nothing lost. The asset was safe and sound, spilling his guts out with any bit of intel he had on the sleeper agents involved in possible acts of bioterrorism. In other words, mission accomplished. Despite it all having gone over smoothly, Helena was agitated. Hunnigan was being professional as always, not letting her personal feelings regarding the recent events shine through at any point, and Helena had to admire that. However, she didn't appreciate the cold shoulder she was getting. She didn't believe she'd deserved it, she couldn't understand why Hunnigan was being so distant.

"Gee, it sure is raining hard," Helena began slowly as she stood by the entrance to the HQ with Leon who was waiting for the worst to pass.
"Don't..." he warned her.

"I think that... I think that you should've..."
"Don't say it."

"...brought an Umbrella!" Helena finished the joke that so bad it was almost good, and Leon chuckled, shaking his head.
"That's terrible."

"I know, but I couldn't help myself," Helena laughed softly. She was about to light a cigarette and wait with him when she noticed Hunnigan make her way to her bike, evidently not fazed by the rain.

"Gotta go," Helena said cheerfully and moved out. Leon quirked an eyebrow at the sudden departure, but chuckled then when he realized what the reason was.

"Hunnigan!" Helena called out and the older woman paused, took off her glasses and wiped them to her sleeve, an exercise in futility really because her vision would be just as obscured by the rain five seconds later.
"Come on, I'll give you a ride," Helena offered.

"I'm not made of sugar, I won't melt in a it of rain."
"Don't be stubborn, you'll catch a cold."

"They are caused by viruses and bacteria, catching a cold because of weather is a myth," Hunnigan scoffed and unlocked her bike.
"Indulge me. I want to talk to you."

"How do you expect me to get to work tomorrow if I leave my bike here?" Hunnigan reasoned and Helena rolled her eyes.
"I'll pick you up in the morning, how about that? Don't make me beg. I will if I have to, but it won't be pretty."

"All right," Hunnigan sighed in defeat and locked her bike before following Helena across the parking lot and to her car. They sat in silence for the first few minutes of the drive until Helena finally broke it.
"Look, I'm sorry I came bitching at you about the mission."
"It's fine."

"So you say, but it doesn't feel like it."
"I don't know what to tell you."
"Tell my you're so angry at me. Is it because of the kiss? Or what happened after? Because..."

"I'm not angry at you," Hunnigan murmured, shaking her head a little. At this point she was more angry at herself and somewhat sad because she'd seen Helena with the mystery man the other day.

"Then why do you behave like I'd just shot your children in front of you?" Helena demanded.
"We're here, pull over," Hunnigan said instead of answering. For a few moments Helena contemplated on just driving and not letting Hunnigan leave before she'd answered her questions. She decided not to do that though, there was no way that would end well.

"Thanks for the ride," Hunnigan said in her now so familiar clipped tone and got out of the car. Helena stayed still, drummed her fingers against the steering wheel for a moment before she cut the engine, got out as well and followed Hunnigan inside.

"Would you just fucking talk to me?" she demanded a little too loudly in the apartment building's hallway as she hurried to the elevator and slid in just before the doors closed. Hunnigan sighed deeply, she'd hoped the younger woman wouldn't make it to the elevator. Not her lucky day.

"About what?" she asked.
"About what's wrong because obviously something's bothering you!"

You broke my heart and you don't even know you did. I understand why you'd be confused, but I can't really explain myself. Not without losing face anyway.

"I can keep apologizing, but I doubt it'll make a difference if I don't even know what the hell it is that I did!" Helena huffed angrily.
"Nothing, you didn't do anything!" Hunnigan argued, beginning to lose her temper as well. This conversationg was inconsequential.

The elevator arrived at her floor and she exited, hoping Helena would just let it go. Fat chance. Instead, she stubbornly followed Hunnigan to her apartment. She didn't go as far as to step inside behind her, but she did remain at the entrance, firmly placing her foot between the door to keep Hunnigan from just slamming it to her face.

Hunnigan resorted to the "maybe if I ignore her, she'll go away"-method. She peeled off her jacket and kicked her shoes off, undid her hair and removed her glasses before toweling her wet hair as if Helena wasn't still just standing there, waiting for an explanation. When she showed no signs of leaving, Hunnigan rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips.

"Well, don't just fucking stand there, get in," she ordered impatiently. Helena's eyebrows rose in surprise at the command, but she did as she was told and closed the door behind her.

"So?" Helena then asked, crossing her arms underneath her breasts and shifting her weight from one leg to the other. Hunnigan shook her head slowly, she had nothing to say, no explanation she was willing to offer.

"You're welcome to stand there until doomsday for all I care, but won't your boyfriend wonder where you are?" she inquired instead, more than just a few drops of venom lacing her voice.
"I don't have a boyfriend," Helena frowned deeply at first, then tilted her head back a little when she realized who Hunnigan had to be referring to.

"James isn't my boyfriend, he's a friend from the army. I did pretend to be his girlfriend on a few occasions back when the 'don't ask, don't tell'-rule was still a thing, but that's as hot and heavy as it got," Helena explained, now kind of amused when she realized Hunnigan must've seen them when he'd given her a ride a few days back. Hunnigan didn't comment, what was there to say?

"You're jealous," Helena then realized, her tone somewhat victorious after having finally put the puzzle together. Hunnigan's face remained expressionless... except for that one, barely noticeable twitch that revealed everything and then some.

"Now that'd be pretty ridiculous, don't you think?" Hunnigan tried dismissing the claim.

"Yeah, totally, and it would be so unlike you, but so has your recent behavior been too, which is why I'm certain I'm right," Helena drawled. Hunnigan swiveled around without uttering a word. She couldn't look at Helena, she knew her mortified blush would confirm everything she'd already involuntarily revealed. Instead, she stepped into the kitchen to grab Carl/Coral's food and went to feed the snake, once again acting like Helena wasn't even there.

"Do you realize how childish you're being?" Helena inquired.
"Do you realize how annoying you're being?" Hunnigan countered, intentionally childishly, gripped the rodent with the feeding tongs and presented Carl/Coral with the food. The snake didn't seem bothered or aware of the argument going on around him, instead he happily focused his attention to the rodent and devouring it. Hunnigan locked the tank and went to rinse the tongs and wash her hands, trying desperately to find something to busy herself with to avoid having to face Helena.

"For Christ's sakes, Hunnigan. Can't you just talk to me about this? I try to be your friend, you shrug me off. I try to give you space, you still get mad at me. What do you want from me?" the younger woman sighed, realizing this sounded like a conversation to be had when already in a relationship with someone... which was silly considering she didn't think she even had earned the privilege of calling Hunnigan her friend yet, let alone elevate herself to the status of a girlfriend.

Hunnigan tossed the tongs into the sink, too agitated to give a damn about the excess noise they made as they rattled against the stainless steel.

"What I want," she repeated in a scoff and shook her head before finally turning to Helena. They looked at each other for a long moment, the dark amber eyes staring defiantly into the blue-gray ones that met her bravado with an equal amount of frustration and... something else bubbling underneath the anger. Desire. Longing. Lust.

Hunnigan stepped over to her and grabbed the front of Helena's jacket. The leather creaked in her grip as she pulled Helena to herself, spun them around and directed her toward the bed in an almost violent shove. Once they were by the bed, Hunnigan kissed Helena hard enough to bruise her lips, slipping her fingers underneath the jacket and pushing it off of Helena's shoulders. After recovering from her initial surprise, Helena responded to the kiss, hungrily letting her teeth graze Hunnigan's lower lip, breaking the kiss briefly to pull the other woman's T-shirt and bra off and carelessly tossed them aside before pressing her mouth against Hunnigan's firmly again, letting her hands roam down to undo Hunnigan's belt and pants, tucking her fingers underneath the waistband and pushing the underwear down with the pants. Once Hunnigan was naked, Helena turned her attention to her own clothing and undressed hastily, not wanting to go for longer than two seconds without having her skin in contact with Hunnigan's.

Helena then nudged them toward the bed once more, leaning over Hunnigan as she lied down wrapping her arms and legs around Helena, then surprising the younger woman by rolling them over so that she could straddle Helena. She grinned at the surprised expression on Helena's face and reached down to leave a trail of passionate kisses on Helena's neck and shoulder, making her way higher and bite her earlobe.

"I've wanted you from the first time I saw you," she confessed in a breathless whisper, her back bending underneath the touch of Helena's fingernails raking up the backs of her thighs, across her buttocks and along her spine. Helena let out an approving quiet hum at that and at the feel of Hunnigan's chest press against her own. She then nudged her leg a little, and Hunnigan smoothed into the movement, readjusting herself so that she was straddling Helena's thigh, her knee pressing firmly between Helena's legs, the wetness that greeted her skin and smeared on it when it made contact causing another lance of arousal to pierce Hunnigan's abdomen.

She trailed her mouth down across Helena's collarbones and to her chest, grunting in pleasure at the tug when Helena tangled her fingers into her hair and balled her hand into a fist, tensing the muscle of her toned thigh to offer Hunnigan a firmer surface to grind against. She accepted the offer, rocking herself slowly against the younger woman as she enclosed her mouth around Helena's nipple, sucking lightly and swirling her tongue over and around it, making Helena arch her back to press her chest tighter against Hunnigan's mouth in a silent plead for more.

Hunnigan moved lower, flattening her tongue against the smooth skin, longing to taste more of it, more of her. She paused at the younger woman's navel, shifting a little to nudge her legs further apart before wrapping her arms around Helena's thighs and gripping firmly as she slid her tongue lower, a soft moan escaping her lips when she tasted Helena.

Helena's hips bucked a little and Hunnigan tightened her hold on them, slipping the tip of tongue down to tease Helena's entrance before bringing it back higher, flattening it against the younger woman's clit, rubbing a torturously slow circle, adding a little more pressure, easing to match the movements of Helena's hips.

"Oh, God!" she gasped when Hunnigan brought her left hand between Helena's legs, teasing the slick folds for a moment before pushing past them and curling her fingers, reaching for the front wall and pressing against a particularly sweet spot within.

Helena tensed up, her breaths becoming short and uncontrolled as the pleasure grew almost too intense. Hunnigan added a bit more pressure and speed, eagerly pushing Helena further and further toward the edge until she went crashing over it, her fingernails gripping at the sheets turning into talons as she held on in almost a desperate manner when her body couldn't take it anymore. Her back arched high and a loud moan escaped her, emanating from deep within her chest as she came harder than she recalled ever coming before, every muscle in her body tensing before violently shattering into sweet release. Hunnigan remained where she was, slowing her pace, patiently easing Helena back from the edge. When the after shocks ceased, she slowly moved to plant soft kisses on the insides of Helena's thighs, caressing the outer sides with long, gentle strokes.

After recovering, Helena sat up, gripped the backs of Hunnigan's knees and pulled the other woman to straddle her lap, wrapping her arm around her body and holding her tightly against herself, slipping her right hand between their bodies. Hunnigan put her arms around Helena's shoulders and buried her face into her neck, biting down on the flawlessly shaped deltoid to muffle a moan when Helena slid two fingers inside her, the upper pad of her hand pressing sweetly against her clit as she rocked in Helena's lap.

Sensing the other woman was wanting more, Helena rolled them over so that Hunnigan was lying on her back with her arms and legs still firmly around Helena. The younger woman pressed her hips against the back of her hand for more pressure, undulating against Hunnigan, slowly at first, then picking up the pace to match Hunnigan's movements.

Hunnigan tilted her head far back, her mouth open in silent moans and breathless gasps, her throat exposed to Helena who eagerly moved to kiss, then bite, leaving behind gentle bruises as she pressed harder into Hunnigan, building up the pressure and send her to the precipice and over. It didn't take much. Not after all the time she'd wanted this, longed for it. Not after realizing just how much sweeter it all was in reality.

"Come for me," Helena breathed into her ear and Hunnigan couldn't prolong it further despite making a half-hearted effort against her body's intense need for release. She bucked and tensed up for a second before dissolving into shudders, burying her face against Helena's shoulder as her moans quieted down to soft sobs of pleasure.

Helena remained still where she was for a moment before finally moving to lie next to Hunnigan, resting her forehead against the other woman's, lazily caressing her palm, across her wrist and to her forearm, then tracing the same trail back to her palm. Hunnigan would've wanted to say something, but she couldn't find her voice or any words for that matter. Instead, she reached over to softly kiss Helena's lips, smiling into the warmth when Helena returned the gesture in equal gentleness.

She scooted closer, wanting their bodies pressed together, and Helena shifted a little to accommodate that, their limbs entwined comfortably, like they were made for each other.

"...I never realized you were a lefty," Helena finally broke the silence and Hunnigan let out a hoarse chuckle at the odd comment.
"I bet there are a lot of things you didn't know about me," she smiled smugly, raking her fingernails on Helena's forearm like she'd recently discovered the younger woman liked done to her.

"I look forward to learning more," Helena murmured sleepily, a happy and lazy smile on her lips.

"Me too," Hunnigan whispered, leaned to kiss Helena's lips once more before resting her chin on the top of her head as Helena snuggled into Hunnigan's chest, tightening her hold on the other woman and beginning to drift off to sleep listening to the calming sound of Hunnigan's heartbeat.

Hunnigan reached to pull the blankets over them and let out a satisfied sigh, closing her eyes and letting herself begin falling asleep as well. Saying her dreams had become a reality wouldn't be accurate, for this time reality was much, much sweeter than any of her dreams had been.