The first thing I became aware of was that I was in Eric's bedroom. Lying down in his bed.

The second thing I became aware of was I had briefly forgotten what the hell had just happened it was like someone had taken a chalk board wiper and just wiped my memories clean.

I remembered screaming.

Pushing,

Crying sweating profusely then….

and then nothing. Just a complete blank. Which was baffling.

Deciding I was ready to wake up,

I forced my eyes open before I was ready the world doing a 360 degree turn before I felt nausea claw out of my stomach and up my throat, I clenched my eyes back shut again breathing needless breathes until the nausea subsided and then tried again letting the breaths out slowly.

breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth.

God.

My body ached so much. It ached to the point that it was almost...almost unbearable especially the burning down by my lower waist I winced forcing myself up into a sitting position before relaxing completely against the wood of Eric's king sized bed only to screw my face up in discomfort and then place a pillow in the woods place. Ginger must've changed the sheets because the last time I had checked they had been covered in blood and….and my waters? (I frowned fidgeting the memories were beginning to slip back into my mind…and fast) and now they were clean,

closing my eyes again I put a finger to my temple and began rubbing it restlessly before I heard a voice from the door way.

'Pam?' came the familiar voice of our bar maid Ginger. hesitantly I re-opened my eyes for about the third time focusing on the bright white ball of fluff she held in her hands.

'Oh good your awake- she said with a bright grin prancing over in my direction coming around to my side of the bed until she was stood right beside me I looked up at her biting my lip nervously

'I thought you might want to-

'No- I said sharply- Take it away- I blurted turning my head in the other direction and folding my arms stubbornly

take it away

'thought you might want to meet your son' ginger continued her sentence stubbornly bending down on bended knee.

'my son?' I quiered frowning- Im a vampire we cant have children I don't have any children that thing is not my child take it away!… I shook my head

'Pam you're in shock' ginger stuttered 'probably still have a little baby brain but I assure you. You do have children…well now you do' I swallowed thickly my vision diverting to the bundle where I caught sight of peachy pale colored skin.

'NO I-I can't' I shook my head eyeing her 'I don't want this I dont know how to do that-(I said pointing towards the infant ginger cradled in her arms)

'I'll show you' ginger cut across me taking my arm (without my consent i might add) while still gently holding the little beast I watched her actions intently before feeling the soft fuzz of the towel touch my skin. My being subconsciously trying not to look at the slimy crying tiny being from earlier I now held in my grasp in fear of growing…well i dont know...attached? if that's a word you use in this situation.

'take a look' ginger said a small smile playing on either side of her lips 'his beautiful' she added the smile turning into a full scale beam.

I nodded my head still looking at her and then towards the empty door way before looking down at the bundle in my arms, studying its (his) small face it had pale red flushed skin, a small circular nose, tiny pale pink lips. fine dark brunette hair which was plastered to its small head and it smelt like a combination of fresh ivory and lavender soap...(with a hint of honey), the infant moved a little clumsily against my touch its small hand moving up to brush it's nose as it yawned. Such a human expression which caused me to clear my throat because I found it was almost choked with emotion.

A small half smile nearly painting my lips very unexpectedly before I willed it away.

(it was me. they were me. and Eric. and strangly enough the thought made my love for Eric a lot stronger. a lot.)

come on Pam don't get attached your the strong one remember. let go.my head nagged

but It...He... how had i not known...they had been inside me this hole time, and i hadn't known...what kind of woman was I huh?. what kind of woman didn't know she were pregnant. This just made no sense I had so many unanswered questions. questions nobody would ever be able to answer. how were they being...how had they come to be here?...how had i even gotten pregnant because the last time i had checked fertility was not in the vampire had book and how just how were they so...Perfect so healthy? they had grown inside a dead chicks womb that was hardly the right environment for foetuses was it?...I just didn't know.

wait where was the other one. where was the girl...

'Where's-it came out small and sentimentally tender (and i want to punch myself for it) so i tried again my voice hardening as i continued to stare down at the infant- where's the other one is she okay?' I asked an ounce of concern Lacing through my vocals.

'Oh...um she's upstairs with Alcide and sookie' I nodded my eyebrows furrowing slightly and I gritted my teeth at the mention of HER name-

'I don't want her near my...near the babies their pure enough without her input... I don't want her corrupting them like she did with their father do you understand?' I stressed Ginger was silent for a few seconds her face set in a mask of confusion. but she soon spoke up.

'Pam...I. I thought Alcide was their father' she cautioned volatilely in a half question. I glanced up at her getting a load of her misled face, then let my amusement grace my features.

'Ginger. Honey. when I refer to Sookie corrupting their father I do mean Alcide ( I lied)...He did have a relationship with Sookie before he was with me...you do know that don't you?' Ginger gawked at me silent bothering with eye contact ahead of saying.

'Y-eh...yes of course yeh I knew that'

'Good' I burst out pursuing Ginger's gaze which was on the bundle of youth I held tight against my chest. his little hand was curled in a fist against my collar bone his head laying gently against my breast bone the towel fleeting over the rest of his small body like a duvet. When had I brought him so close to me. had it been in the heat of the moment when i had become so defensive about Sookie being near my-the offspring (Jesus Christ what was i saying) was it a motherly instinct. did this happen to other women when they had babies. My grip instantly loosened and I peared down at the newborn.

'I hope you know that i dont...Im not mothering material and i don't normally do this sort of thing i never expected to do this sort of this...I mean vampires dont normally need to worry about conceiving...and-

'it's okay to love what you cant explain Pam' Ginger said with cleamancy ' and dont even bother trying to excuse it because i know you care for these- I listened absently to her speech as it smeared out when i smelt Eric's strong (seductive) inviting after shave my head snapping up only to catch sight of him in the doors opening. Ginger soon cancelled her yapping following my trail of vision towards the entrance. He stood there big blue hawk eyes eyeing me his flaxen hair gelled back like it normally was on open nights at fangtasia, wearing his normal black club attire. tank top, black jeans; he had lost the leather coat i had teared in blind agony a few hours earlier. much to my distaste.

'guess i should give ya'll a second' Ginger said awkwardly standing up from her siting position on the floor and then holding out her arms expectantly for the infant. I bit the inside of my cheek glancing down at the kid once more.

come on Pam let go damn it pull yourself together be strong for your own sake. COME ON!.

then stared at her waiting arms taking in sights of her face before handing over the child.

keep that up and he'll think she's his mother

the maternal part of my mind nagged but i shook the thought from my mind my vision fixing back on my maker and then moving absently to ginger who left the room (as Eric's did his vision focusing mostly on the baby). When she was completely out of the sight Eric shut the door behind him. entering further into the room I growled inwardly folding my arms...

hey guys sorry for such a short chapter but I really wanted to update next chapter will be longer I promise please review and check out my other fics happy reading xxx