"You're awake," Eric said with an expression of complete neutrality. His emotions were masked so well they were completely unreadable. I continued to eye him, coolly as he edged closer towards me. Then Eric took a seat at the end of his bed.
"How are you feeling?" he asked placing his hand on my exposed foot as my arched eyebrow rose coyly.
"Care much?" I boomed dryly, with false humor, my inner bitch coming to the surface. Something, I had been making an effort to suppress for months now, to keep from rearing its ugly head.
"You are my progeny, of course, I care you… have great value to me-"he admitted his voice sounding almost harsh as I scoffed at him. I took in his position on the mattress moving my dainty foot from under his palm and then, huffed answering his query.
"spending five hours pushing two abnormal beings out of my vagina wasn't fun But, apart from that, I'm all good." I answered snarkily.
Eric nodded looking down at his lap. I twisted my jaw in the silence, picking my nail, a nervous habit from my human years. I couldn't take the still air between us.
I had to ask him before I burst, I hadn't meant to go there but it had just slipped out before I could even bite my tongue,
"Why have you come here?"
I blurted it out before I could even think to regret it because the silence that fleeted back over us was just...unbearably awkward. I mentally cursed myself for being so forward, but I couldn't scold myself for speaking true words. Why did he care now? Eric certainly hadn't cared before earlier. He was running hot and cold these days and I was failing to understand it.
'Sorry,"I almost groaned regretfully, after a few moments, "sorry that was-i mean shouldn't you be getting back to Sookie's or something?'
"Yes. You're right." Eric reluctantly acknowledged, before fixating his gaze on mine once again. "I have no business being here (well he did but...he didn't know that and I certainly wasn't going to tell him) but we need to talk." His deadpanned voice killed any objection on my lips.
I moved the smooth silky bed sheets further up my chest, hugging them close to me, for a source of comfort. This conversation is something I would have given anything, not to be around for. To avoid, at all costs, but I knew there was no getting out it; so I decided to play dumb.
"Talk? What's there to talk about?" I scoffed gingerly.
"I think you know why I've come to talk to you, Pamela." Eric said in a matter of fact, sort of way. It was like he had figured everything out and it made me feel...like some kind of guilty criminal.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he quizzed.
I looked him over before smirking slightly and cocking my head to the side. "Tell you what?"
"Tell you what?"
'About them...why didn't you tell me about them?" Eric repeated, his voice taking on a harsh edge, which made me fidget.
"What do you mean them?" I stared at him as if he had amnesia again shaking my head but he cut over me with nothing but a look.
"Don't try and lie to me, Pam. You know what I'm talking about." His anger was begging to flare hot. "...How? How did this happen... how is this even possible?'
I swallowed hard choosing to submit to his questions. I lifted my hands and my shoulders up in a silent shrug. "..And you think I know?! That's fine, you go right ahead and tell yourself that I do! Think about it, Eric? Of course I don't know! I'm sorry if it's not the answer you were hoping for but I don't know Eric"
My maker nodded momentarily before meeting my gaze again. "And?"
"And? And what!?" I was frankly getting fed up with his interrogation.
"Are they his?" he demanded, the anger that laced in his voice caught me off guard, completely throwing me. He had never had that sort of tome with me. My mouth hung open slightly and I my eyes danced in a silent question.
"Huh?"
"Are. They. His." my maker repeated, slowly as if I were slow in the head and hearing impaired. I gawked at him for a lengthy moment and then sighed needlessly to give off realistic effect. It was gonna be hard enough telling him the truth anyway...I didn't know how he would react to the news. How it would affect my relationship with Alcide? Would he stick by me, when he knew the truth or leave?
"I don't…"
"Pamela, let's not fool ourselves! The dates you're giving Alcide, and the rest of us, they...they just don't add up."
I felt my lips form a stubborn line and slowly shook my head as Eric continued, "Pamela, babies take nine months to develop…you're telling me…"
"They're Alcide's." I snapped, as the resentment boiled beneath my skin. What right did he have to suddenly care?
I released a exhaling breath,"and probably are premature...Besides they've already been born now! So, its four months too late for an abortion "
I wanted my words to hurt him, he had hurt me. "So I'm sorry... but I didn't plan on...I didn't mean for any of this to happen, okay? I didn't want to hurt you it's just when we were together I...I don't know he was...he was just there and you were just so sick and shit and…"
"So let me get one thing straight...you were fucking that...that mutt while you were with me?" His tone was seething; it cut through me as if he were attempting to glamor me.
My eyes were wide, with my remaining blood pressure shooting through the roof, while I stared at him in a complete loss for words. I thought about telling him the truth then, I really did despite the one-sided mental battle, about the babies-well demons biological father a secret. Not to mention telling Eric the truth would devastate Alcide, and I just couldn't hurt him like that and this would completely destroy him i had only just got him back. Especially to learn the babies were Eric's, he could forgive me anyone else, but, Eric. I had To lie to him. Lying was my best, no, only option. To Eric, to him, to everyone.
"well, you don't have to make it sound so explicit" I taunt making sure to use exaggerated hand gestures, "but yeah...yeah I was "fucking" Alcide while we were together...I cheated on you, just like you did to me, with Tinkerbell!"
I heard him exhale a ragged breath as climbed to his feet. I pressed my lips into a thin line, knowing what was coming. This would not be good. I held my head down, low, keeping my eyes fixed on the black sheets. That was until I heard his roar of agonizing anguish and my head instinctively snapped up.
He picking up the glass lamp and hurled it, to its destruction, at the wall. Before seizing me, in a bruising grip, by the arms and hauling me painfully up to my knees. I knew he'd been holding back earlier. I fucking knew it. I glued my eyes to him as I took in the look in his eyes as he glared back at me.
My perception followed him closely; I covered my ears and closed my eyes as he demolished the room. The sound of the shattering vase so loud it echoed throughout the room.
"Stop it!" I growled hearing the shards of china hit the floor before opening my eyes again. I found him once again standing in front of me, before he once again captured me in his unforgiving iron grasp.
"Just stop it what did you expect me to do? Be lonely? Watch, while you and that bitch, idiot Sookie stack-house fall in love all over again? I did what I had to do, Eric. I moved on..." My voice broke so I tried again, "I moved onto Alcide and I didn't plan on getting pregnant in the process. I didn't think vampire pregnancy was even possible. If I had known it be possible then I would have gone to any measures to prevent it. Do you think I wanted this? You think I wanted to be a...a do you honestly?'
I watched him questioningly, his rigid expression then taking his silence as a non-answer.
"I thought not." I muttered attempting to shake myself free from his one thousand-year-old vice hold on my limbs...it failed. I winced when I felt my lower abdomen butterfly slightly with nerves but quickly covered up my short-lived fear with a glare of silent protest.
"You know something? You really should have chosen, Sylvie," I growled cruelly, as my emotions once again gained the better of me. "I would have loved to see how she coped being me for the past four years. Because this is what you do isn't it? You fuck, with people and then you fuck them over! You fucked me over so many times. Repeatedly, before I even broke up with you. You are the one that left! You left, for Sweden when I needed you the most!
So tell me..." I laughed dryly, "what's the plan Eric? Turn Sookie? Fuck her for...forty or so years…stop...and then fuck her again when you're bored or sexually frustrated? Spend another one hundred years with her until the next nice piece of flesh comes along...another Sylvie, perhaps, or another Sookie and then she becomes me...the hasbin!"
He released his hold on me as he flung me back onto the bed with a flare. I landed with a small wince twisting my arm in the process and then focused my attention back on him. His back was to me now. Didn't even know if he was listening to a word I was saying but I didn't care he needed to hear this. he needed to know how I felt he needed to know how his fucking actions during the course of these four years had affected me and my pattern of thinking.
"What? Now you can't even look at me! "I smirked with a raspy dry-throated voice, "Go on Eric turn your back on me, like you always do, your good at that!"
I felt the knot forming in my dry throat as the tears threatened, I fought with everything I had to keep him from seeing me cry. I would not let him win! I needed to get him out of here, and fast, before the tears and the sadness, I kept masked with rage over too me. "You know what? I'm glad you released me because…"
"I'm fucking glad I released you, too!" Eric emitted cruelty slicing through me with an unforeseen blade, leaving abysmal invisible wounds in its wake. Like an idiot I couldn't contain the gasp of pain, because I hadn't seen that fucking coming. It had fucking burnt, I had not expected him to say that to me ever...like at all...No way he had not just said that. Soon enough I could taste the salt of my bloody tears leaving my eyes and I scrubbed at them furiously. He turned back around to face me his eyes gleaming with malicious intent.
"I wish I had let you die, back in France!" I countered with pure viciousness. My bottom lip almost quivering, like a reprimanded child, which I hated. None of my words seemed to be affecting him on the surface, but deep down I know they had done their job. That didn't stop me however from wanting to punch myself for masking any signs of the pain I had inflicted mercifully upon him, which only frustrated me further. To the point where I was in tears, once again, regardless of how hard I tried to keep them at bay.
"I wish..." He stopped as if to carefully insure that his next words would deeply sting me, "I wish I had never saved you the night we met, that I had never taken you back to kill that rapist you called an uncle! I wish it was you that died instead of Nora!"
They really fucking had, in fact they were the worse words he had ever said to me. They were...they would have been, what the humans called triggering, for any self-harming or suicidal person on the planet. They were more painful then when he uttered those three magic words that unbound the ties of our blood. I covered my face at that with my dainty hands, inhaling my sob before it left my lips. Eric had meant every word; I could feel it, deep down in my core. With a few heavy breaths, I composed myself.
I released a needless sigh before I made my declaration, "Eric Northman, you're a dick!"
His eyes widened and he looked at me almost slightly amused, a devious smirk crawling onto his lips, which infuriated me further.
"I'm a what?"
"I said you're a fucking dick!" I panted in angst, my emotions slipping quickly out of my control, before I could even hope to grasp them.
"You're such a hero, Eric, you know that?" The confusion that crossed his face sent my blood over the edge, "I mean that must have been what your sister, Sookie and hell even Sylvie were thinking...Eric Northman what a man...taking on that, that dirty whore, Pam Swinford, Ravenscroft or whatever the name is she decides to go by...whose had more men than hot dinners, you must be a saint..."
I let the words sink in before continuing, hoping it would have an everlasting dramatic affect on him, "Looks like the cats finally out, isn't it Eric...you wanna go there about family ...fine we can go there! It's your fucking fault Russell slaughtered your fucking family..."
I was throwing every bit of shit history I had on him now trying my hardest to hurt him as he had done to me, " If you hadn't of been screwing your fucking servants then maybe just maybe they would have lived!"
I saw Eric lose his smirk and just stare at me, "Oh you look you're in need of comfort, why don't you find someone less terrible you can relate to like sookie!"
I couldn't help but smile at the expression on his face, but even, I knew I had gone too far...way too far. His eyes had shifted from being filled with a mixture of anger and slight amusement to being completely hot with rage. I practically saw his mind turn to pure unadulterated white rage. I had only witnessed this look on Eric's face and posture one other time, with Russell Edgington and govenour Burwell my vampire sisters Biological Father debacle and it had not ended well. To say he was angry was an understatement...he wanted to obliterate me. Within seconds of the blind rage, consuming Eric, he was on top of me. While his hands encircled tightly around my neck, crushing my un-used airways.
Eric's fingers bit into the thin skin of my neck drawing blood, blood I could now taste in my mouth. I clawed at his hands uselessly suffocating under his millennium of power. His hands were gripped at my throat leaving me with no air, my eyes were wide with fear and small gasps were all I could manage. My brain was so overcome with such of blind panic that it never registers in my head that, being a vampire, I actually didn't need to breathe. I could sense myself drifting away from my consciousness. The terror and consumed my small frame so much that my mind taking me to a peaceful place one where there are no worries in the world. That's when reality hit with a vengeance, realizing, my lungs no longer worked and I was about to pass out from dread, allowing Eric to win I opened my mouth to scream out for Alcide.
Before I could Eric's hold on my throat released and he collapsed on-top of me in defeat. I breathed heavily for unneeded air as the feeling of more tears escape from my eyes, and this time allowed myself to cry silently for about five minutes as a thick silence lingered in the room.
Eric's distraught voice broke through myself pity party, "You were so desperate to find a cure Pamela...you should have let me die...I would have seen Godric again...Nora my…"
My maker broke off diverting contact, and I swallowed my tears, slowly drawing both hands up so one rested on his shoulder and the other rested on his neck. It was a very intimate position that I was no stranger to when it came to Eric. This was the first time I let my emotional guard down with him in ages, but after what happened just now I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to let down any other barrios with him again. I bit my lip thinking of what to say until the right words came to me.
"It was…because- because you saved me..."I whispered shakily "I saw it only fitting that I returned the favor."
He looked away, clearly guilt ridden and ashamed of the hurt he had inflicted on me. He started to try to remove himself from on-top of me, but I continued pulling him back down.
"You were trying to protect me when you left...you always try to protect me and because...because I would have died if you had left me...I would have died...we-were like the same person if you had killed yourself with that disease I would have been one step after...we had to be together Eric...we, we were supposed to be together...I was your family Eric...how could you pick her over me?...again?"
"We're still supposed to be together," He broke in wiping my tears with his calloused thumb "you don't belong with that werewolf you belong with…"
"...I found it, Eric" I muttered, my voice sounding foreign to my own ears. "I found the ring."
I broke down, turning my head, unable meet his gaze, "You wanna marry her...You love her. Eric don't please don't try to deny that...you love her, probably more than you ever loved me, it's always been her Eric...it'll always be her, because you'll always pick her, over me…over us…over -"
I couldn't stop myself from crying convulsively in frustration and could feel his ocean blue eyes, that seemed almost indigo in the dark lighting, watching me.
"Over my what?" he nudged me to go on before we were saved by a knock at the door.
"Pam...Is everything okay?" It was Alcide... "Pam?"
Saved by the door I thought in saddened relief. I pushed Eric's massive body off of me as quickly as I could, climbing to my feet. Then clumbisly walking towards the door holding my still aching adomin.
"Alcide," I breathed looking him over before risking a look behind me towards Eric before his vamp speed was shutting the bedroom door as he shoved his way passed the werewolf i hadn't even seen him get up.
"Where are the babies?" I asked peering behind him after Eric, knowing where they were before he even spoke.
"They're upstairs with Sookie." I felt my skin crawl at her name and bit my lip,
'What's the matter?'...alcide asked throwing me...'you've been crying' he said inspecting the almost dry blgood under my eyes.
'Nothing...I'm alright' I spat hastily
'Pam...' Alcide said '...I know when your lying to me'
'Alcide...I'm fine...' I assured him stepping closer and wrapping my arms around his waist then putting my head against his hard chest. 'I'm okay' I smiled against him sadly...
'I've been thinking' he said quietly...hmm I mussed against him enjoying the intimate contact
'About what' I asked diverting my head and eye contact so I was looking up at him, he was quiet for a long moment and I smiled nudging him on.'go on'
'Im thinking...were in love...we have two babies...' I frowned up at him slightly
'What are you saying' I quiried confused
'I'm saying...let's get married' he announced making my heart freeze over no one had ever said that to me...well Eric had suggested it about two decades ago but had played it off as a joke so nothing had ever came of it.
'W-what?' I asked making sure I had heard correctly
'Marry me...' He repeated. 'Yes?' I stared up at him feeling more guilt consuming me by the minuet and it was killing me, I looked up behind him back up the stairs hoping Eric or Sookie would save me from his question. At that point so many things passed through my mind...Eric the way he had hurt me how he wanted to marry that faerie slut sookie and I acted on impulse.
'Yes' I said smiling up at him
'Yeah?' He asked making I was sure which I wasn't
'Yeah!' I smiled laughed excitably wrapping my arms around his neck and getting up tiptoes then placing a firm kiss on his lips...
'Course I will' I laughed pulling him into a close embrace then losing my smile with guilt... Pure guilt what the hell was I doing anyway my guilt was short lived when there was a crash from upstairs and I looked up towards the ceiling then towards alcide I didn't think my body just reacted and within seconds I was hitting the stairs that led into the bar.
well guys that's the update please review and next update will be up as soon as possible oh and please check out my friends paric baby fanfiction unexpected unconditional love review and happy reading xxx