I wake up a little while later to talking. I'm still on the ground and it's still dark.
"...Needs to recover. We should move her." I hear Jeff say quietly. I slowly open my eyes. Newt notices first.
"You're awake! They almost lost you." He says wiping tears from his face. Minho looks the same, quickly wiping the tears from his face. I gently lift my head to see Jeff bandaging my stomach tightly and securely.
"We'll get a stretcher to bring you to an actual bed." Jeff and the other boy stand up and run off. I let my head fall back to the ground. Newt and Minho look at me, slightly in anger mostly in concern.
"I'm fine." I mutter my voice felling like cotton.
"You almost died! I could see the life draining out of you!" Minho says shortly. I close my eyes.
"I'm sorry." Minho lets out a groan.
"Why didn't you tell us about it earlier? We could've helped!" He says again his voice strained.
"I didn't think it was a big deal." I say opening my eyes. Newt is shaking his head and Minho is staring at me in shock. Jeff comes over with a stretcher. They carry me into the Homestead and into the room I was in the first night. Jeff leaves. Minho stares at me. I prop myself up gently. I can't take their silence.
"I couldn't! Okay?" I burst out. Four eyes stare at me.
"I'm not allowed to show weakness and I'm not allowed to ask for help! I had to endure the pain!" I avoid their hard gaze. Newt sits beside me and Minho sits on my other side.
"Why would you think that?" Newt asks softly.
"That's what they told me." Tears come to my eyes as I remember the lectures.
"Well, you're here now. You can tell us anything. We will never leave you and will always take care of you." Minho says kissing my forehead and leaving the room. Newt is silent for a bit.
"The weakest people are only weak because they have been strong far to long." He says startling me. I study his hands as he wraps them around me. I nod understanding what he's saying. He pulls away.
"Can I check the bandage?" He asks nervously. Why, I don't know. I pull up my shirt to the bra line. He looks it over. His eyes stray to my back for one minute. Confusion spreads out over his face.
"What's this?" He asks gently touching a space on my back. As soon as he touches it the sound comes back. I draw my hands to my ears and bite my lip to keep from screaming out. An image goes through my mind.
I'm sitting in a white, shiny classroom. Newt sits at the desk besides me and Minho sits behind me. I see others but I can't remember their names. I can't see the teachers face clearly, like it's being blurred from my memory. Newt leans over to me and whispers something in my ear while the teachers back is turned. I giggle quietly. The teacher whirls around and points at Newt.
"To the pole! You spoke when not spoken to!" She says taking out a long whip. I stand up quickly.
"Stop!" I say loudly. The teacher turns to me.
"What did you say?" Her voice sounds like a robot.
"I'll take his place! Don't hurt him!" I say quickly. Newt turns to me terror on his face.
"No! Don't Anna!" He says as the teacher pulls him away from the pole and sits him down. The teacher points her bony finger at him.
"Not a muscle." She grabs me roughly by the hair and makes me kneel against a pole. The whip cracks against my back three times. Tears brim in my eyes. I cry out each time. Then the teacher pulls me roughly by my hair back to my seat.
I open my eyes suddenly as the sound stops. Newt is holding me. Pain erupts in my stomach. I try to tune it out. Tears fall out of my eyes.
"Want to talk about it?" He asks quietly. I shake my head curling into him. He holds me tighter muttering soft, kind words. I take a deep breath and start talking.
"We were in a classroom, surrounded by kids. You talked to me behind our teachers back. She spun around and demanded you go to the whipping pole. I took your place though. You didn't talk to me for a week after that. Every time you saw me after that you gave me a hug and didn't say anything." I laugh a little wincing as my stomach hurts again. "But anyways the teacher wiped me three times and sat me back down in my chair. I remember looking at all the chairs, seeing them stained with red. Blood." I say shuddering in his arms.
"I'm so, so sorry Anna." He says tightening his grip on my arms.
"Why?" I ask.
"Well I touched the scar...from a whip... and you got the flashback." He says cautiously.
"It's okay. I'm fine. Just don't leave." I say cuddling up to him. He nods.
"Anna. If you're okay to, whenever you want, I want to hear about your training and the rules of it so we can avoid them in the future?" Newt whispers, his voice revealing how scared he is.
"Okay. Sure." I say moving just a bit closer to him. We stay like that for a really long time before Newt talks again.
"It was really scary to see you like that. Please, never do that again, please." He says tears falling onto my neck. I nod, tears pooling into my eyes. I don't know how long we sit there until a small knock sounds on the door. I think we might've fallen asleep. The sun is in the sky. I sit up pulling Newt with me.
"Guys, breakfast." Minho's face appears in the doorway. I nod and ease myself out of bed. Newt helps me stand. I fall back to the bed not being able to support my own weight.
"Ugh! I hate being so weak!" I pound the bed.
"I'll get you some breakfast." Newt says. I can hear Minho and Newt talking as the walk away from my room. A few minutes later Newt is back with some food.
"What were you guys talking about?" I ask as he enters.
"I'm staying here with you today. Just to make sure you're really okay." Newt sits besides me and offers me the porridge. I look at it. I can't make my hand move. I can't take the food.
"What is it?" Newt asks. I turn away looking out the window. Minho and the other runners take off into the Maze.
"First rule; eat what you find, not what's given." I whisper. Newt moves to my side and wraps his arms around me.
"Have you eaten anything since you've been here?" He asks quietly. I shake my head.
"Anna!" He exclaims. I turn to look him in the eye.
"Newt, I've gone weeks without food before." I say trying to judge his reaction. His eyes harden and he looks angry. At me, I can't tell.
"So you really won't eat this?" He asks looking at the bowl.
"I-I'll eat it." I say grabbing the bowl. I spoon some of the porridge into my mouth. It's not bad but I'm still hesitant about taking another bite. Newt looks at me happily as I take four more bites. I put the bowl back; I can't break that rule.
I just can't do it.