Disclaimer: I do not own or make any money from the real people in this story, nor will I ever.
Summary: One phone call completely changes John Cena's life in ways he couldn't imagine. How is the WWE superstar going to cope with all the new things being thrown at him now?
Authors Note: Sorry it took me so long to get another chapter up. What can I say? Life just gets in the way sometimes. Sorry for any grammar mistakes and please enjoy the chapter and REVIEW! D
Walk The Line
Chapter Four: Moments of Truth
John swallowed hard. So this was it, he was going to finally find out why Rachael had hid herself and Gracie away from him all this time. Why she would have continued to do so if that company hadn't called John. "Well?" he asked her.
Rachael blew out a long breath and tucked some hair behind her ear, "I didn't know I was pregnant until almost a month after I left that summer. I wasn't even really sure then. I was so busy starting college and seeing my friends again. I had started working part time and everything was just so hectic. I didn't even notice I had missed my period at all. It wasn't until I started getting sick," Rachael explained.
John interrupted though, "Sick? You were sick with Gracie?" he asked worriedly. All those Hallmark movies of young mothers almost dying because of pregnancy his mom liked to watch flashing in his mind.
Rachael smiled at his worried look, "No John not that kind of sick. Just morning sickness, most women get that," she said soothing his worries. "It was my friend Ashley who was the first one to diagnosis me, although she didn't know it at the time. We were in class and I had to go throw up and she had followed me out to see if I was okay. She was trying to be funny and suggested maybe I was pregnant. I didn't really find it all too funny when it made so much sense. I went to the doctor as soon as I could after that. I didn't want to take one of those home pregnancy tests, I was afraid of what it would say and if it might be wrong," Rachael finished and looked out one of Gracie's windows, lost in her memories.
John watched Rachael's profile and waited. His mind was tired of thinking and he just wanted the answers to his questions.
"Anyways, I went to the doctor and the day after I knew I was pregnant. It was so weird John," Rachael said turning to him and looking at him, "It was like it was a dream or a story, but definitely not real. I don't think I even really understood it at first. I kept really quiet about it; I didn't even tell Mom or Dad. I knew they would freak, and rightfully so I suppose. I think that was the first reason I didn't tell you. I didn't believe it myself," she said.
John nodded his head. He could completely understand how this whole Gracie thing was surreal; he had been going through it for the past few days now.
"I ended up blurting it out during Christmas dinner in front of everyone," Rachael said and John couldn't hold back a laugh. Rachael smiled too but said, "It wasn't funny then. I had been sitting on it for awhile and no one knew except me and the doctor. I was almost five months along at that point. I still wasn't really showing though and with it being winter I was covering up in baggy sweaters. It was a real shocker to everyone and I ended up crying and running off. I know this sounds so bad, but I wasn't happy about the pregnancy at all," Rachael whispered.
John had not looked away from Rachael yet, he could see the guilt on her face, "Why would you be happy about it?" he asked.
Rachael gave John a look that he was a certain kind of crazy and rolled her eyes, "You're supposed to be happy about babies. There all great and junk and here I was thinking about how I was getting fat, I wouldn't be able to go to the beach with my friends that summer and that I didn't want this kid at all. What was I supposed to do with it when I still had so many things I wanted to do for me? I was being completely selfish," Rachael said.
John didn't say anything, what was he supposed to say? He had no clue how it was to feel trapped by something that was supposed to be good, but really wasn't at all.
"My family took it pretty hard. I got so many 'we're so disappointed in you' speeches and looks that I wanted to go crazy. Even if I wasn't sure about the kid, they were supposed to be, right? After that I didn't go back for the spring semester of school and instead hid out in my parents' house. I even quit my job. I was really depressed and didn't want to deal with anyone. That could count as another reason I didn't tell you then," she added.
"It was late in March when I went into labor. It really freaked me out; all those contractions and the pain and not knowing what was really going to happen, just enough to scare the shit out of you. My Mom and Dad took me to a hospital and there the contractions stopped. It was a false alarm, but it had scared me badly. I didn't want this kid, not if that was what I was looking forward too. It sounds stupid doesn't it? That I decided at almost nine months I didn't want the kid. There weren't much options, I had to have the baby. It was my Mom that brought up adoption," Rachael said.
"I hadn't thought about that at all. Someone could adopt the kid and I would be off, scot-free. It was like a miracle in my head and I had made up my mind that I was going to do that as soon as I had the kid," Rachael said.
John was kind of alarmed to find out that Rachael had almost given away their child. That if she had there would have been a zero percent chance of him ever finding out about Gracie. It scared John to know that now.
"I went into labor a week later, the first of April is when Gracie came into this world and I refused to even look at her," Rachael said quietly and sniffed. John wondered if she was crying, "I was so awful, not even wanting to look at my baby, let alone hold her and touch her and talk to her and just be with her. The nurse gave me such a cold look that I cried right there in the delivery room. They took her away then; I didn't even know she was a she until later. I fell asleep and when I woke up it was at night and I was by myself in a room. I don't know where my parents were off to; I think they might have been looking in on Gracie. I got up, and shit John that hurt but I didn't care, and I walked to the bathroom and looked at how un-pregnant I was and I felt so sad. I cried again. I bet you didn't know I was such a crier, huh?" she asked John.
John shook his head no he hadn't known she was such a crier or that she had gone through so much.
"A nurse found me then and she scolded me for getting up and helped me back into bed. I was still crying and she finally asked me what was wrong. I told her everything, about how Gracie was so unexpected, about how I felt so alone, how I felt so guilty and yet right about my feelings and then about the adoption. She just sat by my bed listening and petting on me. It was the best thing for me and I fell asleep. That next day that nurse showed up again and she started talking to me about what if I kept the baby. I couldn't believe she was trying to talk me into keeping it. Every argument I put up, she somehow explained away. I could still see my friends, I could still go to school, I could still work, I could still be me and not just the baby's mom. I didn't know what to do and so as a final attack she brought Gracie in the room and plopped her in my lap," Rachael said smiling and John could definitely see the sheen in her eyes from her tears.
"That was it for me. I looked into those big blue eyes and I saw you John and I couldn't do it. You could always make me do anything by just giving me that look and she gave me that same look then. My parents were a little confused by my complete one eighty, but they supported me. They even went out and bought clothes, diapers, everything for the house. I hadn't even done that," she admitted.
"I named her Grace after that wonderful nurse and I gave her four names so that she would still be connected to you somehow. I know it's pretty insignificant compared to giving her your last name or something like that, but I knew the meaning and I thought it was good. We took Gracie home a couple days after that and I haven't looked back since. I did go to school back in the fall and I took on a work-study job to help with the bills. Everyone seemed to be really surprised by me and Gracie, but everyone was supportive too. Even the rest of my family came around eventually. No one could resist those baby blues," Rachael joked.
"I've done okay since then. I just now moved me and Gracie here. My grandpa died and he left us some money. I put most of it away for Gracie later, but I did buy me a car and it helped put us ahead of the bills and lets me rent this place. I finished school finally and well as you know I applied for a job and I got it," she finished and looked at John.
He did know everything now. Mostly. "Rachael, I can understand not telling me throughout all the pregnancy, because you were so unhappy about it. I don't like it, but I understand. Afterwards, when you decided to keep Gracie and all the time since then, why didn't you call me?" John asked.
Rachael sighed and her small smile disappeared, "John I just thought it was best for all of us. Me, you and Gracie," she said.
John shook his head, how could Rachael even say that? "What?" he asked, "Why?"
"John you were just starting out in your wrestling career and everyone could see you were going to be great. You had the personality and the drive and you were learning the moves at OVW. How in the world were you going to have a career if I suddenly saddled you with a kid?" Rachael asked him.
"I could have done both," John said defensively, "Sure it would have been hard, but it could have been workable too. Other guys have kids in the business you know," he reminded her.
"Yea, but their married and are settled down. John neither one of us was settled then and you still haven't," Rachael countered.
"I might be if I had known I was supposed to be taking care of someone other than myself," John ground out.
Rachael felt guilty about that, "I know I should have given you a chance John, but I made a decision to protect you and me and Gracie. If that meant you and Gracie were separated, then so be it."
"What?" John almost yelled at Rachael. He really could not believe the turn in this conversation.
"Don't yell at me John!" Rachael said looking away from him, "I had to let you have your career. You would have resented me and Gracie otherwise. And I couldn't take the chance of you being there at first and ditching us later. That would have hurt Gracie too much. I couldn't take the chance it might happen so I stopped it before it started."
John was quiet for a few minutes. He stood up from the bed and paced the room a little as he thought this over. So that was the real reason that he hadn't been told about Gracie. That Rachael was afraid of him maybe screwing the kid over and so Rachael had made sure he couldn't by not telling him about Gracie at all.
"I would never ditch Gracie," John finally said lowly, "I might not be perfect, far from it, but I would not hurt some little girl, my little girl, by ditching them."
"John please," Rachael tried reasoning with him, "I was just trying to make sure everyone was safe."
"You can never gain anything by playing it safe," John told Rachael, turning to her, "You could have lived off your parents and had them support you and Gracie, but you didn't. You went to school and have a job. Hell, you could have played it safe and gotten rid of Gracie when she was born, but you didn't, instead you took a chance and kept her and tell me Rachael, would you give Gracie up for anything now? Would you? Do you regret keeping her?" John asked her.
Rachael couldn't look at those blue eyes anymore. They were so accusing and so right that it felt like they were burning a hole in her. She averted her eyes from John's and swallowed. "I wouldn't have anything in the world if it meant giving her up," she finally whispered.
"Then why didn't you take the chance on me?" John asked her.
Rachael shook her head, "I don't know. You weren't there. We weren't serious. I didn't want to be serious with you. Not like that. I didn't want you mad at me. Mad that I had ruined your life. I thought if I had changed mine so much that at least I could keep yours the way you wanted it."
John looked at Rachael as she sat on their daughter's bed and cried. This was all just too much. Gracie, Rachael, the past, the present, the unknown future; it was all just too much.
John let out a frustrated sigh and walked over to the little desk his kid made art on. There was a piece of paper with a big yellow sun on it and it had eyes, a nose and a big smiling mouth on it in red. It was shining down on some creatures, who knew what they really were, but John guessed maybe a puppy, a seal and an elephant? He smiled finally. Gracie, he kid, liked art. Looking at the sun and those animals seemed to make John's headache go away. He finally put the picture down and looked back over at Rachael.
She was wiping her face and looking anywhere but at him. She had been through a lot. And a lot of that stuff alone. John knew that Rachael had just been trying to do the best she thought she could do. Still though, he didn't know if he could forgive her for not telling him about Gracie.
"Hey John?" Rachael asked quietly.
"Hmm?" John asked still glancing at her.
"You want to go meet Gracie?" she asked him.
"Are you sure you want me to?" he asked Rachael back, half out of spite and half out of curiosity of what she would say.
"Yes," Rachael said finally looking up at him, "I may have made a mistake in the past, but it's the present now and we need to pick Gracie up from pre-school," she said.
John looked at Rachael evenly, so she wasn't asking for forgiveness nor was she apologizing, but she was giving him now. John would take what he could get and he held out his hand to her, "Alright, but you're driving these crazy ass roads," he told her and she laughed.
TO BE CONTINUED!