You guys - thank you so much for your reviews and thoughts! I really appreciate them! =D But Colfer I'm definitely not, heh.

Many thanks to the Beta, for your infinite patience and general wonderfulness. We should really go out for cendol yeah?

And finally, because I missed this in some chapters -

Disclaimer: Characters, settings and anything related to the Artemis Fowl series mentioned in previous (and subsequent) chapters all belong to Eoin Colfer; I own nothing.

Chapter 6: The Law of Murphy

Police Plaza, Haven City

Murphy's Law states that "Anything that can go wrong – will, at the worst possible moment". The dwarfs have a similar saying of their own, which, to fairies and humans unfamiliar to dwarfish lingo, loosely translates as "When there is a sticky situation with the bum flap, beware the imminent explosion – it might be the one your mates will talk about for a long time after and make jokes about". But that's the polite version of the saying, and dwarfs don't like to talk about it anyway.

With the situation as it was in Haven, events could only proceed according to Murphy's Law. Which they did.

Foaly was, at the best of times, a pretty level-headed centaur. How could he not be? With his superior intellect and vast knowledge – not to mention his precious computers and programs – there was nothing much that could slip past him.

But there were times, such as this, which made the centaur really, really certain that there were People Who Are Out to Get Him.

The first indication that Murphy's Law had also influenced the fortunes of a certain centaur was when Commander Kelp called said centaur to his office.

The second indication was when Foaly tried to make a joke, and was duly met with a rebuke from the commander, who further mentioned something about a "massive budget cut for a donkey's playthings".

The third indication was when Foaly stepped into the Recon commander's office and was met with an expression on Trouble's face that was disturbingly reminiscent of Root's. It was an expression that often appeared on the late commander's very bad days, when someone within the commander's vicinity was certain to be sad in a short space of time.

The fourth indication was when Trouble Kelp told Foaly to shut the door and then demanded an explanation for the tracker that had been found in Artemis's arm.

Foaly could only stare in shock at Trouble Kelp's livid expression.

'Are you accusing me of planting that tracker?' said Foaly hoarsely.

'I didn't say so, Foaly.' The commander's face had gone a familiar red. 'But I want to know how that tracker got into Fowl's arm.'

'He could have – '

'He could have what, Foaly?' Trouble sighed, the unnatural flush fading from his face. 'As far as I know, and you said so yourself, the only people who have the tracker are you and the Council.'

'I made a few prototypes, yes, but I didn't release it elsewhere. So ­– yes – the only people who could possibly have the trackers would be me. And the Council members.'

'I don't see how Fowl could have stolen the tracker without us knowing,' said Trouble.

'Wait – you think he might have stolen it? From me?'

'It's one possibility, Foaly.'

'And why would he do that?' said Foaly, confused for once.

'You're the genius here, centaur,' snapped Trouble. 'He could have planted the tracker in his own arm to mislead us. That message still looks suspicious to me, and I'm not going to give him my complete trust until he gives me a good reason why I should believe him.'

'But he's been helping us…'

'Well forgive me for saying this – but Fowl isn't what you would call a straight and honest character, is he?'

And therein lay the problem. Artemis's history with the fairies had been, at best, varied. The first time they had met him, he had only been a boy of twelve – but he had been capable of kidnapping and extortion, not to mention actual bodily harm to LEP officers through Butler's intervention. Then there had been the time when he had nearly betrayed the fairies with the C Cube…

'So we're both guilty then?' The question burst out in a bray of laughter; the idea was too much to contemplate, even by the centaur's standards.

'Well, are you?' said Trouble calmly.

'By Frond, I swear I have nothing to do with that tracker in Artemis's arm!' cried Foaly.

Trouble didn't say anything for a few minutes. Foaly shifted from hoof to hoof uneasily, wondering if, like everything that had happened today, the manure would finally hit the air circulator.

'I want Fowl to be brought here,' said the commander, breaking the tensed silence. 'I need to find out more about that tracker. And the so-called hostile fairies that he mentioned.'

'You're letting me off the hook then, Kelp?' said Foaly, wondering if he was pushing his luck this time.

'No.' Trouble scowled; the flush was returning to his face. 'I happen to trust you more than the Mud Boy.'

Fowl Manor

'If you're innocent, like you say you are, Artemis, then you'll have to co-operate with us on this,' said Holly, ending the call with the commander.

'I will.' Artemis's tone was neutral, emotionless.

'The Retrieval boys will be waiting for us at Tara at sundown. You'll be escorted to Haven to meet the commander. He'll ask you a few questions and determine if you are innocent or guilty.' Her tone matched his: formal, stiff.

'I see.'

'Artemis,' she burst out, unable to hold in her thoughts any longer, 'tell me why you're doing this. Don't I have a right to know?'

'I have given you nothing but the truth, Holly,' he said softly.

'I – well – this is harder than I thought.'

'It doesn't have to be, does it?' said Artemis.

Holly watched as the teenager paced about the room, deep in thought. That's right; use that big brain of yours to get us out of this mess. Convince me, Artemis.

'I can't tell my family about this,' he said to the wall.

She stared at his back. 'Why not? You could at least put them on their guard. Warn Butler about it.'

'The fairies were not after them,' he said, turning to look at her. 'They were only after me.'

Holly rolled her eyes at this statement. 'Is this the time for it, Artemis? Playing the hero now?'

'I am only stating the obvious, Holly.' There was a hint of sarcasm to his tone that had not been present for a while.

'Then tell me about it,' she said.

'What I think is this – first, let us assume that I am innocent in this matter, shall we?' He held his hands open to her, palms up. Call this a truce, his gesture seemed to say. It might have also meant: Forgive me if I anger you further.

Holly nodded, waiting for him to continue.

'Based on the events that you told me are happening in Haven at this moment, I might make a guess that someone is out to undermine LEP and its authority,' said Artemis. 'The murder might not seem point to that, but whoever was responsible for it knew enough to cover any clues that might have been left at the scene. One question: did anyone check the cameras before leaving Merrick's property?'

Holly's eyes widened as the realization hit her. 'Are you saying…?'

'Foaly viewed the security footage from the Ops Booth, didn't he? He broadcast a loop on the security cameras in Fowl Manor during the siege years ago and nearly deceived me.' The ghost of a smile crept on to the boy's face.

Holly put on her helmet again, calling up Foaly in Haven. The centaur answered on the second ring, sounding somewhat out of breath.

'What did he do to you?' Foaly demanded as soon as he picked up the call. 'I'll personally wring his neck if he so much as –'

'Foaly, did anyone check the cameras at Merrick's place before they left?'

'What?'

'Artemis thinks that there might be a chance that you viewed the wrong footage. Something about a loop being broadcast.'

'D'Arvit!' yelped Foaly.

'Look – just send some officers over to check, okay? Do it now, Foaly,' said Holly.

'I'm not taking orders from you, Captain Short. But I will send these officers over right away.'

Holly was about to take off the helmet again – despite the climate control in the helmet and LEP protocol, Holly being Holly, she took the opportunity to leave the helmet off whenever she was above ground – when there was the beep of an incoming call. Trouble's voice was even as he relayed the latest news from Haven to her, but she detected the unease beneath the commander's apparent calm.

'The goblins have surrounded the dwarf tunnels, Holly, and they're saying that they're not going to move until the culprit who shot one of theirs is found. The dwarfs, on the other hand, demand that the LEP show proof that none of their gangs were involved in the unprovoked shooting, and that the officer responsible makes a public apology to the dwarf community.'

'Can't LEP do anything about it?' she said. 'Call for back ups…'

'The Council doesn't see the need for any immediate action,' said Trouble. He sighed and continued, 'Vinyáya's trying to get them to solve this problem at once, but they're voting against her suggestions.'

'Bureaucratic red tape again?' said Holly, shaking her head.

'Probably. Now, Captain, I want your report on how the Fowl character is doing.'

The Fowl character in question smirked and walked away from the elf.

'He's been co-operative so far, and he's currently giving his ideas on the events in Haven.' She stopped, wondering if she dared say the next thing on her mind. 'Commander. Trouble. He could help us solve this.'

'I don't trust him enough, Holly. And neither do you,' said Trouble.

'Yes, but – well, if you remember how he helped us beat the goblins during the rebellion – '

'Holly, we've got a murdered gremlin; we're being blamed for shooting at a goblin; both the goblins and dwarfs are at each other's throats right now and it might just break out into more fights with innocent civilians involved – so can you put your personal feelings for Fowl aside at the moment and focus on the problems that we have to solve here and now?'

She swallowed the retort that had risen to her lips and listened as Trouble continued talking. Artemis sat on the edge of his bed across the room, his eyes on the elf as she nodded and listened to the speaker on the other end of the line without responding.

She has a right to know. And so does my family.

A smile spread across his face, but it was devoid of humor or satisfaction.

I think I might try to be a hero. How I do surprise myself sometimes.

'A field trip?' asked Angeline Fowl, laughing. 'Am I hearing this right, Arty?'

'Yes, Mum,' said Artemis. 'Tara would be perfect for my astronomy observations tonight.'

'Don't kid your mother,' teased Angeline, ruffling his hair fondly. 'Is Butler following?'

'Of course.' Artemis glanced at the man out of the corner of his eye; Butler, standing discreetly near the door of the dining-room, nodded to his charge.

'Can I follow?' Myles asked from across the table.

'No, Myles. We'll be out all night,' Artemis replied. 'Mum will be worried.'

'Can I go, Mummy?' Beckett interrupted, grinning through the food smears on his face. 'I want see the stars!'

'No, darling.' Angeline wiped the stains off his face and turned the spoon in his chubby fist the right way up. 'You should be in bed by then.'

'I'll be leaving about sunset,' said Artemis. 'It would give me ample time to catch a sighting of Venus.'

'Isn't the Internet good enough?' said his father, raising his eyebrows. 'It's not like you to have sudden field trips, Arty.'

'I'll be back in the morning,' the boy assured his parents.

'We'll be going to the beach tomorrow, remember,' said Angeline. 'Be back early, dear.'

'I will, Mother.'

He went up to his room as soon as his family adjourned to his parents' bedroom after lunch. He could hear the twins shrieking with laughter as a tickle fight broke out between them and Artemis Senior. That was his mother's laugh now, rising above the squeals and guffaws.

'Artemis.'

The boy paused at the top of the stairs. Butler stood at the foot, frowning.

'I wouldn't ask if I didn't think it suspicious, but why Tara?' said Butler. 'Are you going on fairy-related business?'

'No, Butler.' He smiled, or at least tried to, but the manservant was not deceived. 'Astronomy observations.'

'I trust you, Artemis.'

'I know.' More than you should, old friend.

Angeline was waiting before his bedroom door by the time he reached his room. She pulled him into a hug and kissed the top of his head.

'Your door's locked,' she said. 'Is there something you should tell me, Arty?'

'No, Mum,' he said, avoiding her gaze.

'I know about the fairies, Arty. If this has anything to do with them…do what you should, but I want you to take care, do you hear me? If anything should happen to you…'

'Yes, Mum.'

She released him and took hold of his shoulders. 'I'm proud of you. Come back safe, Arty.'

'I promise to be back as soon as I do what needs to be done,' said Artemis.

'Give my regards to your friend,' Angeline whispered in his ear before she walked away.

If she will listen to me, thought Artemis, his heart sinking as he unlocked the door.

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