By the time they made it to the hospital, Jim had slipped into unconsciousness. The paramedic had worked on him during the ride over, checking vitals and the IV that they had put him on at the scene. Sofia watched, holding Jim's hand and fighting to keep panic at bay.
Jim groaned when they arrived at the hospital and Sofia let go of his hand while they unloaded him. Somewhere in his darkness he had been aware of her grip. She followed as they wheeled him into an exam room, a doctor and nurses swarming in. They went to work immediately. Sofia stood in the corner, her eyes never leaving him. She was aware of the paramedic giving the doctor a rundown of Jim's condition; low pulse, high blood pressure….in and out of consciousness. She heard him describe the injuries to his face; probable broken jaw and left orbital bone, multiple contusions and abrasions. There were other injuries also, mostly to his chest. The doctor was looking Jim over as the paramedic continued, detailing Jim's shortness of breath and bluish tint to his skin. Sofia listened and watched, fear mounting inside of her. Everything sounded so serious.
Just then Jim gasped for breath and the room went into immediate action. A nurse nudged Sofia out of the room and left her standing just outside the door, watching. Just then Gil Grissom walked up behind her. She felt his arm go around her in quiet support. They watched as Jim was intubated. "I need his ABG," yelled the doctor. "Also, ICP is indicated ….get Meadows in here."
Sofia understood the terminology but her brain wasn't processing the details. Jim was in trouble…serious trouble. She wanted desperately to go to him, hold him. Fear gripped her even tighter as she watched the action in his room. Tears trickled down her face as they watched him being put on a ventilator…life support. Gil sensed that she was about to lose control and eased her away. A nurse in the hall led them to another cubicle where they would be close but Sofia could sit down. She mumbled something about it being a slow night so Jim was getting all of the attention.
Sometime later the ER physician found them. "Mrs. Brass, I need to give this to you straight up. Jim's condition is very serious. He has multiple facial fractures and trauma to the chest. It was a very severe beating. He is on a ventilator; he has a collapsed lung which we are treating with a chest tube. Dr. Meadows, our neurologist, had been called in to treat his head injuries. We've inserted an ICP to monitor the swelling in his head, but surgery to relieve the pressure is probable. He has a fractured jaw and also his left orbital bone is broken. At the moment, they are secondary considerations. And of course, he has multiple contusions and abrasions over most of his body. It's going to be a very long night…if there is anything we can get for you, coffee, soda…."
"No…thank you, Doctor."
"Dr. Meadows is with him now but a nurse will come get you in a few minutes. You can go in but if anything happens, you'll have to leave immediately. Understood?"
Sofia nodded. Disbelief and denial were surging through her….no this couldn't be happening; not to them…not to Jim. Hadn't he been through enough already?"
Gil stood in the hallway as Sofia went in to see Jim. Catherine found him, standing guard just outside the door. "Hey…how's he doing?"
Gil looked intensely worried. "Not good." He explained the injuries to her and watched as she absorbed the information about their friend.
She glanced into the room and then back at Grissom. "Okay, well….most of the gang is out in the waiting room. I'll go fill them in."
"Yeah…thanks. I'll stay with Sofia. I think she could use some support."
"Okay…well, we're here for whatever they need." Catherine headed back to the waiting area, leaving a very somber Grissom outside Jim's door.
Inside the room, Sofia gently took his hand in hers, relieved to feel warmth in his fingers. "Jim," she said, fighting back tears. She watched, hoping for but not expecting a response.
Jim Brass was floating, lost in darkness. Pain, there was so much pain…no other sensations, just pain. And then, something else….after floating, he felt a connection. He sensed, rather than felt her presence….an angel, his angel. Her face appeared in the darkness. She had brilliant blue eyes and a golden halo….such a sweet face. And the way she looked at him….images formed in his mind of the angel; she was watching him and then it changed and she was running, her halo swaying back and forth behind her head. The scene changed and she sat in front of a fireplace, her eyes glowing as warm as the fire, so beautiful and vibrant. And then she called his name, her tender voice soothing him…"Jim." He wanted to follow her voice, it sounded so warmth of her touch finally penetrated the darkness, quieting his fears. Despite the pain he felt safe, her voice and her touch combined into a palliative ointment for his pain. Still disoriented, he tried to focus on the sensations that he derived from her.
He tried to speak, but something was preventing him. He wanted to tell her to talk to him. He felt her fingers on his, gently stroking …..so loving, so full of care. Then he heard another sound…a sob. Again, sensing but not seeing, he knew that she was crying.
"No,' he wanted to say…"Please don't cry," he silently pleaded. .But the angel was crying, crying for him.
She spoke again, this time through her tears. Her words were simple, "I love you," yet they elicited so many beautiful images; blue eyes the reflected the light of heaven, her smile that illuminated his world, the golden hair of her halo, lips that invited him, and other images that seemed incongruent with angels. He clung to those images, his only escape from the pain.
The doctor stood in the doorway. "Talk to him," he suggested. "He might be able to hear you."
Sofia thought for a moment before speaking. "Jim, remember the cabin? You surprised me with all the arrangements; scheduled time off for both of us. We hadn't been married long and it was our first chance to really spend a few days alone together. …."
Cabin…images rolled through his mind like an old home movie. She was beautiful, so excited, so….desirable.
"Remember Jim? It snowed and you built a huge fire in the fireplace…"
She sat on the floor in front of the hearth, sipping hot chocolate, wearing his favorite flannel shirt and a look of satisfaction. Her halo was a little messed up and her cheeks were still flushed. Her lips were swollen and full and the gleam in her eye told him that there was more to come.
She was throwing snowballs at him. He had fallen down and she ran to him, standing over him and laughing before falling down beside him, curling into him. They lay in the cold snow, but he felt so warm.
"And then I so scared to tell you …."
She was sitting in the bed looking nervous. "We need to talk."
"What about," he asked cautiously.
"I, um, I'm not sure how you're going to take this…"
"Just spit it out. You're moving on, aren't you?" His heart was breaking.
"No," she said, as she reached for his face, holding his jaw in her palm, her thumb stroking his cheekbone. Her eyes were so full of love. "No…I couldn't do that, Jim. You are everything to me. Without you…nothing else would matter. Especially now…"
He looked at her relieved but questioning. "Then … what?" he mumbled.
"Um…how would feel about…." she paused, "… about a little Brass?"
"I know it was at the cabin, Jim. That's where Jeb was conceived. "
She slid out of the bed shyly, feeling fat and unattractive. He watched as she moved across the room, thinking that she had never looked more beautiful to him. Slipping into one of his shirts, she sat at the end of the bed, sighing. Her neck tasted so sweet as he nibbled and kissed, her skin was like satin beneath his fingertips. She leaned back into him, her eyes closing and her body relaxing into his caresses. She had smiled when he said he loved her and that she was gorgeous. She sighed contently as he moved his hand across her swollen belly and giggled when he told her that he envied the baby, getting to be inside her like that.
She talked on and on, bringing images into his mind; warm, sweet images that held off the pain. Sometimes she would quit talking and even though he sensed she was nearby, he felt disconnected. The pain was so intense when she quit talking…..
Sofia talked and talked until her mouth was dry. And then she talked some more. Doctors and nurses came and went, tests were run, procedures were performed, and then the surgery to relieve the swelling in his head. She sat beside his bed through it all, talking, reading, singing, and praying. She talked until she had no more voice to talk with.
Nighttime turned into day and then back to night, but she kept talking. Her only breaks came when one of their friends would come and chase her out for food…or when she would doze, still sitting in the chair next to him.
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Thanks for the positive comments on the last chapter. Still good? More to come...