I'm standing in the rain, it's perfect weather for a funeral. That's exactly what I'm doing. I'm at the funeral for my parents. Tears streamed down my face they won't stop and it's getting annoying. Curse these tears.
A sob escapes my throat and Xeno's grip on me tightens.
"Why did they have to die?" I choke out quietly.
He looks down at me, tears are also streaming down his face; he looks terrible. I guess I do too…
"I don't know." He whispers.
I nod as if accepting it. But I can't… Not really. They just can't be dead! They're my parents and they should be there to experience my life with me!
They should be there to watch me get married! To meet my first children… I sob harder thinking these things.
I feel Lily's hold on my hand squeeze. I invited her for moral support, and also because she knew them too. She had stayed a few weeks every summer holidays, getting to know me and my family. Alice had been there every time, too. And she was here now, standing behind me.
Alice has her hands on my shoulders, Lily is holding my right hand and Xeno has his arm around my waist. On the other side of Xeno, his arm around her waist too, is his girlfriend, Ophelia. They're engaged.
I don't even realise it's over until Xeno lets go of me, walking back inside with Ophelia comforting him as best she can.
Alice takes my other hand and the three of us just stand there, looking at the fresh graves. There are all sorts of flowers decorating each one of them; lilies, daisies, sunflowers, roses of all colours and any other flower people can get hold of.
The tears are still steadily streaming down my face, so I wipe them away. I sniffle. Lily looks at me.
"You okay Az?"
I nod. But I'm not really okay. It hurts… everywhere. My chest, my stomach, my legs are like jelly and my head pounds from the loss of moisture.
They both envelope me in a hug that could squeeze the air out of me. I let them hug me; I've gone completely limp.
"C'mon, Az, we better get inside." I nod again and they share a worried expression. I don't think they like my silence.
Back at school now, I'm sitting in the common room, staring idly into the flames. It's around four in the mourning and I can't sleep. I just keep thinking of my parents; they're gone.
It had hit me like a ton of bricks three nights ago, when I got back. I had broken down crying, and Lily and Alice came to my rescue, taking me out of the great hall and to our dorm.
Yes, that's right; I had broken down in the great hall. Everyone stared at me, pity etched onto their faces. Well, some of them anyway. There were also looks saying 'I know how you feel' from others who had lost their parents.
I snuggled into the chair, still staring intently at the flames.
"Can't sleep?" I jumped out of my skin at the sound of Black's voice.
I shook my head. I had hardly said much since the funeral. It was rare to find me actually talking. I figured it's my way of dealing with it.
"Azura, I know you miss your parents, but you can't keep doing this to yourself." He plonked on the couch beside me. He looked like he had just woken up. "You can't keep it in, you've got to talk about it."
This is creepy; Black is being… solemn.
"I-I can't talk about it." I look back into the flames, tears well up in my eyes. "It hurts too much." I whisper.
He touches my arm and the goosebumps come. I start. "Sorry." He says, grinning sheepishly.
"It's okay." I tell him.
"Have you spoken to Alice or Lily about it? Anyone?"
I shake my head. "I can't talk to them, they won't understand…"
"I'm sure they will…"
"No, they won't. They still have their parents… I feel so alone…" I whisper the last bit and hope to hell he didn't hear it.
He cups my chin, forcing me to look at him. His eyes are tender and I think I've stopped breathing. "You're not alone." He said before closing the gap and placing his lips on mine.
My eyes flutter shut and I kiss him back. He's a really, really good kisser. He doesn't kiss like I thought he would; rough and demanding. No, he's soft and gentle.
I suddenly realise what I'm doing. My eyes snap open. I'm kissing Black??
I pull away and stand up, I run.