Hi guys! I just want to apologize in advance for any of the mistakes whether that be spelling or punctuation. I do write all of this on my phone at the moment because my laptop broke and I'm not sure at the moment when I'll get another one! Also sorry
if the format gets all weird! For some reason when I post it, the format will change and will also add a weird link! Anyway, on to chapter 4!

"Momma your phone is ringing!" Jacob said just as I was coming into Magnus's office.

"Okay thank you Jakey! How about you start to pack up your stuff and we can head on home after." He nodded and handed me my ringing phone. It was a number that I didn't recognize, but I always answer it whether I know that number or not.

"Hello?"

And there was nothing. No reply on the other end. "Hello? Is anyone there?" I waited a few more seconds. "Okay well if you're not going to say anything I'm just going to hang up!" I heard a breath catch on the other end.

"Wait." It was him. Jace.

"What do you want Jace?"

And there was silence. "Okay well if you're not going to talk or tell me why you called, I'm going to hang up because I have a son that I need to take care of."

"Clary I just want to talk to you. I want to catch up." I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"You want to catch up? You want to pretend like nothing happened between us and just catch up?! I can believe that you think you can just come back into my life and pretend like nothing happened between us."

"I know that's why I want to talk to you. Clary you don't understand all of it. There are things about that night that I said that I didn't mean. I just thought that maybe you'd understand and want to-"

"You thought I'd understand?! You thought that I would understand why you just left and cut me out of your life? You know I gave you so so so many chances to talk Jace. I tried everything. I called, I texted, I emailed, I sent you a letter, my god
/I even drove the five hours to talk in person. Why should I trust you? I gave you so many chances to explain yourself and you just ignored me. You ignored me and gave me no reason. I don't understand. I don't understand how someone can just leave
/someone and cut them off and then seven years later try to come back into that persons life."

"Clary, I'm-"

"I'm not done Jace. You made it crystal clear that you didn't give a shit about me seven years ago so I don't get how you think you would care about me now."

"Please-"

"No I'm done. Goodbye Jace."

"Momma who was that?" Jacob is standing by the door with his backpack.

"No one important. Come on big guy it's time for us to go home."

Why am I an asshole? I shouldn't have called her. I just want to talk to her. I want to hear her voice. I want to tell her that I care about her. I want to tell her that I love her.

But I can't. I never can. She will never take me back. I treated her like complete shit. Why didn't I just talk to her? We might've had a chance to be together if I just maned up and talk to her.

Leaving her that night seven years ago is the biggest mistake I've ever made. I knew it was going to crush her. She said that she wanted to talk that night too. I wish I would've stayed. I wish I would've talked to her about everything. I wish I knew
/what was so important to her that night.

And then I'm thinking of every possible thing that she was going to tell me.

Did someone in her family die? Was her brother getting married? Were her and Simon in a fight? Did she want to break up with me?

And then it hits me. I had left Clary about seven years ago. Jacob is going to be turning seven this year or is already seven because he is in the second grade. Was Clary cheating on me when we were still dating? Who was the asshole that knocked her
/up?

When I find out who that bastard is I'm going to beat his ass. I'm going to make him regret ever laying a finger on Clary. I'm going to make him pay. He left her all alone. To care for a child all by herself.

I need to talk to her about this. I don't care if she never wants to see me again. I want tell her that I care about her and that I'm going to find the ass that knocked her up.

When can I talk to her though? I don't want to make her upset. But I have to talk to her. I can't just show up to her apartment. I can't call her again. I know that there is a parent teacher conference coming up but should I really be talking about
/that stuff with her? Maybe I can convince her to get coffee with me.

That's probably the best option. Ya I'll do that. I'm going to work on it and try to convince her grab coffee with me sometime soon.

"Can we have Mac and cheese for dinner?"

"That's a good idea Jacob! Do you want to help me make it?"

"Uh um I I do I'm just really really tired momma! I think I need a little break." He says as he yawns.

"Well okay. I'll let you know when it's all ready." He nods and starts towards the couch and turns on the TV.

I start to pull out the ingredients for the Mac and cheese. Okay so pasta noodles, milk, a variety of different cheeses, salt and pepper, bread crumbs, and bacon bits.

I should've known that my Mac and cheese would be Jacob's favorite food. It was always his fathers favorite too.

He always told me that I should be a chef. He told me that I should go to culinary school and open up my own restaurant. He told me that he would help me. He would help me make my dream come true.

He didn't know that he was apart of my dream. He didn't know that my biggest dream was to be married to him. To have this cute little house with a porch and a dog and kids.

There are times when I still have those dreams. Sometimes I just wish that I could go back and tell him. Maybe if I told him how much I loved him he wouldn't have left. But then again maybe it wouldn't have changed anything. Maybe he left because

he didn't care about me anymore.

I glance down and notice that the Mac and cheese is almost done. I stir it and add more cheese and bacon bits. Once it's done, I grab two bowls and two spoons.

"Momma is it done?"

"Yes it is! What do you want to drink?"

"Ummmmm can I have a Capri sun?"

"Of course!" I grab the Capri sun and pour myself a glass of raspberry lemonade. By the time I make it back to the couch, Jacob is almost done with his bowl of Mac and cheese.

"Wow you're hungry today!"

"It's just so good! Momma you make the bestest Mac and cheese in the whole wide world! Wait momma do you actually make this? Like or do you make it from a box?"

I laugh. "Jacob you've watched me make it before you silly boy!"

"I know it's just so so so good! It's magical! You should start selling it to people. Momma we'd be so rich!"

"Jakey I think all those noodles have gone to your head!"

"Maybe! But I don't care! I want some more please!"

"Okay! I don't think you'll have room for any dessert though!"

"That's okay! This is better than any dessert ever!"

My boy. Where would I be without him?