Lena
The next day I went down to start making breakfast before everyone wakes up. I want to spoil her right now, she more than deserves it.
"Hey i'm making breakfast it will be done soon" I said to Brandon who came downstairs.
"I'm not hungry" he said pouring himself a glass of orange juice.
"Suit yourself" I said. I know they are still mad at me and still believe I did this. I hate that him and Jesus think that I am capable of hurting their mom. I know right now isn't the time to push it.
Stef came downstairs still looking half asleep probably smelling bacon.
"Do I smell bacon?" She asked yawning.
"Yeah you do" I said and she smiled at me.
"Thank you, love" she said kissing me before getting herself some coffee.
"Of course… did you sleep well once you got back to sleep?" I asked knowing that it took her a while to fall asleep again. I wanted to hold her but she seemed like she wanted some space.
"Yeah sorry for waking you up" she said and I shook my head.
"No sweetie, if you can't sleep wake me up" I said handing her her breakfast. The rest of the kids came down.
"Breakfast is done" Stef said as I put the eggs on the table and the bacon. All the kids except Jesus and Brandon and Dana and Stewart sat down and started eating.
"Hey guys what you doing we have breakfast" she said but they didn't come over.
"Not hungry" Jesus said.
"Well you have to eat something"she said.
"I'll eat at school"he said and she looked at Brandon.
"And I'm gonna join him" he said and I sighed. I know they hate me but the least they can do is pretend so they don't make a scene. I could tell Stef was upset by the whole thing because she knows what's really going on.
We sent the kids to school and my parents decided to go down to the beach for a bit to leave us be.
"Well that was kind of rude" Stef said and I sighed.
"They will get over it, they just hate me right now" I said.
"No they don't…" she started and I shook my head.
"They blame me for what happened to you, so yes they do hate me" I said and she sighed.
"I'll talk to them, alright?" She said and I nodded.
"You need to call Anchor Beach today about your job" she said and I nodded.
"Yeah i'm not too hopeful about that" I said.
"Well you need a job" she said and I nodded.
"I'll figure it out" I stated hoping that i'm not losing my job but I don't really believe that will happen.
Stef
I traced my finger around the scar on my hand from the glass that went into it after he shoved me against some glass vase or something. It's not my only scar from then, far from it. It's just the most obvious one, most of the other ones have faded significantly.
I know that by no means is Lena Eric, I get that. She wouldn't hurt me and I know that. So why am I punishing her?
"What was that from?" Dana asked having walked in from her trip to the beach. Stewart went upstairs to get a shower since he looked slightly burnt and is tracking sand into our house which Lena isn't going to be happy about.
"Oh um glass accidentally broke a vase" I said without much thought. I hated how much I sounded like myself back then.
"Or i guess more like pushed" I said and she sat down.
"Who pushed you?" She asked.
"Uh his name was Eric I was like 19 at the most and we were dating, it was the first time…" I said and she sighed.
"I didn't know that" she said.
"Not many do, anyways it was the past I guess" I said and she nodded.
"Did you leave him?" She asked.
"Not for another two years, young and stupid I guess" I said and she sighed.
"Is he in jail?" She asked.
"He was only got seven years" I said and she looked at me shocked.
"He only got seven years for two years of domestic abuse?" She asked.
"No he got seven years for stalking me he got nothing for domestic abuse he got away with it because it was my word against his and he had more money for a lawyer" I said and she shook her head.
"That's awful"
"It is that's why I decided to become a cop" I said and she gave me a bit of a pity smile which I hate.
"Well I guess it really is true that you have to go through a lot of assholes before finding who is right for you." She said and I laughed.
"Damn right" I said and she laughed.
"Lena isn't like him at least she better not be because getting jail time would be a blessing…" she said and I laughed. I know Dana told Lena that she would kill her if she beat me. Oh Dana, she could be really good in an interrogation situation.
"She isn't ..." I said.
"Have you talked to her about what happened with Eric?" She asked and I shook my head.
"No not really." I admitted.
"Well you should, it still affects you and therefore it affects your relationship especially now" she said and I nodded. I know she's right I just hate talking about it. It's a lot better in the past.
Lena
I waited for someone to pick up not sure how this is going to go down.
"Hello Jennifer Thomson speaking how may I help you" she asked politely.
"Uh yes hello, i'm Lena Adams Foster I'm calling on behalf of my job I had at Anchor beach charter school" I said and I know she knows who I am.
"Oh i'm sorry ma'am we filled that spot" she said and I sighed.
"Right ok, Anchor beach isn't hiring?" I asked.
"No sorry, not presently. Call back if you have any questions" she said before we hung up. Great now what do I do, I'm out a job.
Stef
I knocked on his door hoping this goes smoothly.
"Come in" Jesus yelled and barely looked up from his game.
"Can you pause it?" I asked and he sighed.
"I'm not talking about her" he said as if she was someone who murdered his entire family and his life mission was to get revenge.
"You mean the woman who raised you. Who has cared for you for the last what ten years… you mean that woman?" I asked and he rolled his eyes.
"No I mean the one who hurt you!" He shouted and I know Lena can hear him.
"Ok keep your voice down" I said and he shook his head.
"No you want me to talk about her…. She had you at gunpoint mom! You seem to forget about that. Ok sure she didn't know enough to turn off the safety. Ok so maybe it wasn't planned but that doesn't mean that in that moment she wasn't going to shoot you. And you closed your eyes so tell me how you are so confident that she was going shoot your leg like she says?" He shouted at me and I shook my head.
"Because I heard her object to it first…." I said trying to keep a in control tone to my voice but I feel a little attacked.
"And then what they went back and had a little chat and Candice convinced her to shoot you, and according to the report it didn't take long" he yelled.
"Shut up! Ok you don't know what you are talking about, ok?" I shouted back tears in my eyes.
"How am I supposed to believe that you aren't just covering for her you did it for that Eric guy for two years" he said his voice at normal volume again. I sighed.
"Because she's not him that has nothing to do with this." I said. "And regardless of how you feel about her she is your mom and you will show her respect"
"She's not my mom" he said and I rolled my eyes.
"Well she is but either way you treat her with respect" I said and he rolled his eyes.
"Whatever" he said more to shut me up than anything but i'm done with this conversation. I left the room and went into my room putting on running clothes and sneakers needing to get out of the house for a bit.
Lena
"...that doesn't mean that in that moment she wasn't going to shoot you." He said and I tried to keep myself from crying. He's kinda right I was planning on shooting her that day. I didn't want to do it but that doesn't change that I was planning on doing it.
"...And then what they went back and had a little chat and Candice convinced her to shoot you, and according to the report it didn't take long" Jesus yelled at her. I would never want to hurt her and not be talk into hurting her if it wasn't for her shooting and killing her as a possibility.
Stef walked downstairs not even looking at me and walked right out of the house looking pissed. I sighed wiping the tears away. Time to stop feeling sorry for myself. I don't deserve this and if he is going to be mad at me he will still treat me and Stef with respect.
I got up to his room and he groaned at the sight of me.
"Look hate me if you want. I know you think I hurt Stef, I didn't , but that's not gonna change that you think I did. Either way you don't yell at your mom. Apologize to her she doesn't deserve that." I said and he sighed.
"Fine"
"If you have an issue with me come talk to me don't yell at her" I said and he nodded.
"Alright, I'll apologize when she gets back" he said and I turned and left. I went into my room and broke down crying. Sure i'm not in jail but everything is still falling apart.
Stef
After the long day was finally over I crawled into bed. We laid there quietly for a second both waiting for the other to speak.
"I'm sorry that I have been shutting you out" I said and she shook her head.
"I'm sorry I almost shot you" she said and for some reason I started laughing.
"Hey no couple is perfect" I said and she laughed. We both fell quiet again for a bit.
"So my mom told me you talked to her about Eric" She said and I stirred a little uncomfortable. I hate when he comes up.
"Yeah a bit" I said and she turned to look at me.
"Why haven't you ever talked to me about it…. I mean every time we talked about it you made it sound like he hurt you once and you left him. I'm not saying that's ok but it's not what happened" she said and I nodded sadly.
"I don't know, I just wanted to keep it in the past" I said and she shook her head.
"But it's not… I mean it still affects you… it still affects us" she said.
"Wow you sounded like your mom for a second" I said and she gave me a look of mock offense.
"Don't say that ever" she said and I laughed.
"I know it does… I guess I thought I could just push it to the back of my mind and it wouldn't matter" I said facing towards her and she ran her hand along my arm.
"It makes it hard to trust me, doesn't it" she said and I shook my head.
"No it's not…" I started but she interrupted me.
"No it does and i'm not yelling at you or anything. I'm just saying you were hurt and we made the decision that it wasn't that relevant but it is. It's very important…. Once you are hurt like that it makes it hard to take down your walls and I know that you have taken down a lot of them for me but never completely and once this happened you started to put them back up." She said and I know that she's kinda right about that.
"I didn't mean to" I said and she smiled at me.
"I know you didn't. We can figure this out and take them down together but you have to trust me first" she said and I nodded. She gave me a look of disbelief and I know deep down she's right. I don't trust her completely and I definitely trust her less than before this all happened.
"I think we need to talk about what happened, what really happened with Eric" she said and I sighed but nodded. It was always easier to just not mention it but it's time to let her into that part of me I don't want anyone to know about.
Next chapter will be her telling us the story of her being with Eric and will include flashbacks. Let me know what you think and hopefully the next chapter will be up before monday (no promises.)