Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Revenge, I Just Love It

Chapter 15: I Want To Be Alone

A/N, I usually do an A/N at the end of the chapter, but I felt an urgent need to apologize for taking such a long time to update this story, I know it's been a really long while. I've been sort of busy, and honestly I went through a period of writers block. I just didn't know how to write this chapter. On my computer, there's still like three other different unfinished versions of it. But it's finally complete, and I have to say, I am actually quite happy with it, so I really hope you all enjoy it too. I made it double the length of my usual chapters to compensate =D.

Well with further ado,

"You're not an easy woman to find" Nolan murmured, as he stepped outside into the back garden of the event hall, having followed Emily to the isolated spot from inside. She was sitting down on the intricately crafted wooden bench, facing as coincidence would have it, a row of fully bloomed roses, deep red in colour.

"You can complain because a rose has thorns, or you can smile because thorns have roses."

It was a quote he had first stumbled upon many years ago, a quote that reminded him of her, of the one woman he had come to love unconditionally.

He didn't even know how their friendship had formed.

Originally he had sought Emily out as a way to repay her parents for the kindness and support they'd shown both him and his ambition towards Nolcorp, his now multi-million dollar company . When they had tragically died in the car crash, he had still felt indebted to them and so he had wanted to do everything in his power to help the child they had loved with all their hearts. But he was young at the time, and he did not know how to save Emily from the foster care system that had indeed hardened her. So he had waited, regretfully too long, for by the time she was eighteen, he no longer saw resemblance to the little angel her parents had described. That wasn't surprising though and he did not begrudge her of her attitude, nor of the defenses she put up...he only tried to support her as best as he could.

Emily was strong though, one of the strongest people Nolan had come to meet, and even with all the emotional baggage she carried, Emily had been able to clean herself up, and work towards making something of herself. For her this was achieved through her philanthropist efforts...efforts that opposed to other socialites stemmed from her true understanding of pain, and because of it her genuine desire to help those in dark conditions.

She was no saint though, but then she had never pretended to be, least of all around him. Emily was difficult, guarded and stubborn...often to a fault, but she had redeeming qualities, and they by far overpowered her faults, one of them being her fierce sense of loyalty to those she held in her heart.

It was just a shame the man she'd fallen for, the man who had captured her shielded heart, had failed so ineptly to recognize that simple fact.

Turning her head towards the familiar voice she heard, Emily frowned ever so slightly at the lanky blond in front of her. She had thought that she was alone, that she had discreetly slipped away from the crowd and into the peaceful little garden, with the fresh air and quietness she so craved.

It was probably no surprise Nolan had found her though, he was like family in that sense, he was always there for her...even when she did not want him to be.

"Of course you found me" she murmured sighing, as she tilted her head to look up at him.

Smiling gently at her as he walked closer towards the rose bushes, tentatively cupping the bulb of one in his hands. Nolan looked towards Emily pointedly, and earnestly said, though not withholding the almost natural way words seemed to stumble out his mouth in his sassy intonation.

"Well what point is there in me being your fashionably dressed technological savvy sidekick, if I'm not there for you when you need it?"

Not knowing whether to frown or smile slightly, at his admittedly endearing response, Emily simply sighed ever so slightly, "I don't need you to be my savior Nolan".

He only chuckled, "I'm no savior Emily, I'm just here for you as your friend...or did you forget you had any?" he gently quipped, still hurt by that fact that she had been actively shutting him out.

"I didn't forget" Emily replied quietly, averting her eyes from Nolan's in guilt. Ever since she had started the war with Daniel, she had been shutting him out, Amanda and Jack too. It was just too hard...she was in so much pain, and she didn't want to pull them into the darkness with her, but yet equally, she wasn't ready to try and stand in the light with them. She had changed too; hate, anger, pain, sadness, it consumes a person, and she'd let it consume herself, those feelings being used as both her weapon and her shield against Daniel in their war.

"Then talk to me" Nolan replied firmly, his worried eyes gazing into Emily's, "and for once be honest".

Emily shook her head softly, her eyelids clamping tightly shut for a few seconds as if she was trying her best to mentally shut him out. She didn't want to talk about her feelings; she'd never been good at that...he knew that.

Nolan sighed as he reached for a rose, being careful of its treacherous thorns before gently plucking it off the bush. "Come on Em's" he muttered, as he began to walk closer towards hers, sitting down tentatively on the bench beside her.

Twirling the rose between his thumb and forefinger, his eyes pressed on hers, hers on the rose in his hand, Nolan began to quietly say. "When you first told me what you were going to do to get your revenge on Daniel, I was against the idea. It's not that I didn't want him to suffer because trust me I did, it's just that I was worried that you'd get even more hurt in the process. So I didn't want you anywhere near him, I wanted you to go to the police and press with the truth, and then to leave the Hampton's and try start fresh somewhere else, leaving him buried under the implications of his actions. That wasn't your style though, you're a fighter, and you wanted him to suffer personally from your own two hands. A part of me understood that, but the other part of me knew that it wouldn't help you heal."

"This was never supposed to make me heal Nolan, that was never the goal!" Emily replied, her voice much harsher than she intended.

"Well if the goal was to make him suffer then haven't you done that by now? There's no breaking something that's already broken, or is enough not enough now?" he retorted.

Emily shook her head frustratingly, "You don't understand"

"No you don't understand!" Nolan shouted, causing Emily to inadvertently recoil in surprise from the painful volume in his voice, "You may be hurting Daniel, but you're hurting yourself too; you're isolating yourself from the people that care about you, you're tethering yourself to a man that shot you, a man that retaliates to your attacks and causes you further pain, and worst of all you're depriving yourself of the chance to heal and start fresh."

She knew that...she knew that she was hurting herself; stabbing herself with the other side of the double edged sword she had thrust into Daniel's heart. But unlike Daniel's, her heart was numb...that was the difference, or at least that was the illusion she liked to convince herself of.

Nolan paused taking a breath, as he gently asked, the volume in his voice having leveled back out, "Is it worth it? Can you look me in the eyes and tell me that you're not exhausted, that you're not ready to let him go"

Taking a deep breath as if she was short of the oxygen flowing throughout her veins, Emily lifted her gaze up into Nolan's expressive blue eyes, feeling forced to stare into them, as he had so subtly challenged her to do. But before she could conjure up the right words to respond, her fierce gaze broke from his own, her eyes having been distracted by the damn rose he was still twirling between his long fingers.

Feeling a sudden surge of anger at the distraction, though the real root of her irritation stemmed from the pressure he was omitting on to her to talk, Emily hastily snatched the rose out of his fingers, stopping the twirling motion, at the expense of pricking her own thorn having scratched across the skin of her ring finger, compelling a small amount of blood to pool against the tiny tear in her skin; matching the colour of the deep red coloured rose she was now in possession of, and sharply contrasting the elegant gold and diamond ring, she'd kept on her finger as a scathing reminder to all that had turned to hell.

"Looks like you're not after all", Nolan couldn't help but quietly mutter, as he thoughtfully handed her the handkerchief folded in the front pocket of his fancy suit. Upgrading the small piece of fabric he'd originally used as just an item of colorful accessory for his outfit, to something of actual benefit.

Emily shook her head slowly, as she used the small piece of cloth to dab at the blood on her finger. It was vibrant red...a colour she was starting to become sick of having seen so much of it from the wound Daniel had inflicted upon her.

"I just so feel confused" she slowly murmured, her voice hushed as if she was only really speaking to herself. "In pain and confused" she added, willing her threatening tears not to betray her, and well up in her tired brown eyes.

She was exhausted; the pain, the hurt, the endless fighting and the spite...it was finally beginning to take a toll on even her, and as much as she tried to convince herself that her past feelings for him didn't matter, ultimately they did, which only made it all the more difficult.

She supposed that was proved when she had given into him and his body just hours ago, an action that made her feel sick with contempt for her own weakness .

This was the man who had almost destroyed her body, and yet she had let him touch her, and worse she had felt pleasure in it as his hands had roamed her body, and his kisses trailed her neck.

In that moment she had welcomed his touch, and she had reciprocated his desires, and allowed his hands to roam the familiar spots of her body.

Daniel had been surprisingly gentle, maybe that's what she had found pleasure in, how after the initial surprise of her kissing him back, and the drunken passion that had arose from that, his kisses and his touch had slowly softened, merging into something much gentler. She had no longer sensed the anger hidden behind his touch, or the bitterness masked in his fervent kiss. No, the gentler he became with her and the more delicate the kisses he placed onto her lips the more she felt a much lighter emotion than the other two masked in his moves, the more she felt his desire for forgiveness.

But giving in made her feel weak, a feeling that above all else Emily hated, it conjuring up memories of her unhappy past; the past she had alone trapped in the foster care system that cared little for her.

So after their passionate entanglement when Daniel had pleaded with her to end the hopeless cycle. Ignoring him, her own exhaustion, and her crumbling resolve...instinctively Emily had stubbornly declined. Rationalizing as she had walked away from him, that Daniel shooting her and being the reason that she could no longer carry children, should be her inexhaustible sense of fuel to keep going.

But now she was just confused...unsure.

Was allowing herself to stay trapped in a hopeless cycle as payback against Daniel, what made her strong or just weak?

Was ending it, a testament to her real strength, or just proof of her failed ability to exact revenge on one she had once held true feelings for?

That was something she'd have to figure out on her own she supposed.

"There you are", Daniel murmured as he silently climbed up the porch steps of Emily's beach house to find her sitting subduedly on the porch swing. She'd been crying, the evidence was clear on her face from her glistening eyes, which were gazing up into the night sky, and from the dampness of her cheeks. In fact her whole composure looked saddened and defeated, as though she had rocks in her pockets weighing her down.

It almost came as a shock to him, seeing her so vulnerable, as if he had forgotten that beneath it all- her iron walls, and icy composure-there was a human-as fragile as any other, and he'd be lying if he said it didn't sadden him to see her like that; all her beauty being washed away by her sadness and pain.

Though the anger inside of him from his own pain still hadn't boiled over at the sight of her...his toxic lover, splitting his mind in two as another part of him believed she deserved her suffering. She had turned so cold...even more so than him, and if realizing the consequences of her own actions through her pain helped to propel some sort of resolution between them, then maybe her tears were necessary damage.

Emily tensed up immediately at the sound of his voice, cursing under her breath, as she turned her head trying to subtly wipe away evidence of her tears. She hadn't expected him to come looking for her, if she had then she would have hid away in a place she knew he couldn't find her. She'd miscalculated him though, costing her a night alone. A night where she could shed silent tears of her own, reflecting upon both the good and bad memories they had once shared and ruminating about what needed to be done now, all under the secrecy of the dark night sky. A sky plastered with a handful of stray stars, looking just as isolated...though not quite as faded as she currently felt.

"I want to be alone" she replied rigidly, her voice naturally hardening as it usually did when she spoke to him.

Hearing him harshly sigh, no doubt from the callous tone of her voice, Emily slowly cast her eyes up at him, cursing his handsome face which she had carelessly fallen for, a face which now stirred up a plethora of emotions in both her overwhelmed heart and deeply troubled mind.

"Well I came to see my lovely wife" Daniel jeered, the words slipping out his mouth from the unsympathetic side of his pent up frustration, rather than his more forgiving side, "I mean, because of you I still can call you that, can't I?"

He was challenging her, knowing full well that she was not in the mood...but then again when had she ever cared if he was in the mood?

Glaring back at him, her dark brown eyes penetrating his own, Emily pursed her lips before slowly replying, "You know as well as me how our marriage is bound".

"By pain" Daniel spat out, the words feeling bitter on his tongue "and spite". Two emotions Daniel never would have imagined could flow so easily between the two of them.

"Is this really what you wanted Emily?" he questioned angrily, not being able to separate the resentment seeped into his voice, as he waited for her to answer.

"What I wanted?" she repeated immediately incensed by his accusation, "You did this to us Daniel, not me!"

Daniel shook his head furiously, his jaw clenching tightly in anger, not willing to accept all the blame, not now after what she'd done "I'm so sick of you playing the victim Emily!"

His words rung deep in the air, but he only felt satisfaction, they were words, he had been waiting to get off his chest for a while, words that he'd always constricted deep down in his throat, believing they were too harsh after the damage he'd caused her...but what about what she'd caused him, had she not been cruel too?

"I know that shooting you tainted our relationship and you won't find me negating the fact that what I did was horrifying, but..." Daniel added, his voice hardening, as he stared back unflinchingly into her penetrating brown eyes; eyes that he had once adored, "When I tried to at least salvage what I had broken, you turned around and actively tried to shatter those pieces further. I understand that you were angry, and you were bitter, and those feelings were only justified...but still no matter what I did, or said to try and show you how truly sorry I was, you stared back at me with those cold, relentless eyes, and refused to accept it, refused to release me from the malicious web you'd weaved us in.

"Letting his words cut deep into the tenseness of the chilly night air, Daniel took a deep breath, looking at her... the hardened beauty he'd fallen for, "All I wanted Emily, was to work towards redeeming myself, so I could become someone who could never in a million years hurt the one I loved like I hurt you.

His intense gaze nearly overpowering her own, Emily steadied her resolve and took in his words unwaveringly, her eyes reflecting the two parallels of her emotions; both the pitiless anger and the vulnerability that was now starting to crack through her icy composure.

"I wanted you in pain" she admitted, the words spilling out of her mouth hastily as though she was unsure of the emotion she wanted to breathe into them...be it guilt or spite.

"I needed you to suffer as much as I had" she further clarified, emphasizing the word needed with the anger she still felt at him as she forced her sharply cut words out over the huge lump that had expanded in her throat.

"I was already suffering" Daniel replied coarsely, searching her eyes, for even the smallest fraction of an apology hidden deep within. "But you had to twist my mind further, forcing me into becoming an even bigger monster, one so big I can hardly even remember who I once was now"

"I haven't forgotten..."

The words slipped quietly out of her mouth before she could catch them, the surprising tenderness of them unwillingly causing his heart to stir.

How could she forget though, his impish grin as he drew her in for a surprise kiss, or snuck up on her from behind wrapping his arms lovingly around her waist.

Or the gentle way he'd take her hand, as they took evening strolls along the beach, his warm jacket inevitably ending up on her shoulders by the end the walk. He was always genuinely thoughtful of her like that, in little ways or simple gestures that showed he really cared. That was important to her, more than she had ever admitted do to her almost intimidating sense of independence. But it had meant a lot to her knowing that he was there and observant to her thoughts and feelings, especially when growing up she had thought she'd lost that.

He had made her feel so warm and secure... but still, she had never been able to fully relinquish herself to him, unshackled by her walls. It was probably no wonder he had given up on her in the end, he'd sensed that what she had given to him, was simply, a clone, a beautiful imitation of herself, but a fake nonetheless without the sustenance his heart needed to beat eternally.

As Daniel looked at Emily, he could tell, the words had been a surprise for her too, having come straight from her heart, bypassing her overly careful mind, which processed too thoroughly the words she spoke.

"Yet you still..." he pressed, not being able to finish his question, as her words cut through the air, interrupting him, "I know my actions were cold Daniel..."

It sounded like the start of an apology, and he waited with his breath held in anticipation, as his eyes searched her own begging to hear what would relieve his heart of at least a little of the heavy load he was carrying. But the mere fragment of the sentence she'd spoken was the closest thing to, that he received, and not knowing what else to say, he simply turned his head, his arm resting against the railing as he looked up into the night sky which she seemed to find so intriguing.

"Are you finished yet Em's?" he asked quietly, a few moments later, shivering as the chilly breeze blew up against his steady frame, its wind filling in the silence that Emily couldn't find the words to.

She wished he wouldn't call her that...that being Em's. Nicknames were usually reserved to those you felt affection towards, and/or a sense of familiarity, but their line of affection had been severed and as for familiarity, though in body they were the same person, in spirit they both had sadly morphed into something unrecognizable. So it now felt wrong coming off of his lips, really wrong, but she was sure he felt the disharmony of it too.

"Emily!" his voice was louder now, and harsher in his frustration, as his eyes snapped back down to the sky towards her, waiting for a reply. It not going unnoticed by her how he'd corrected himself this time, leaving Em's where it belonged... the past.

Shaking her head ever so slightly, her blonde wisps of hair billowing gently in the air, Emily averted her gaze from his own, swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat.

She wanted to be finished. She was so tired of the back and forth between them; the relentless striking and receiving of each others anger and pain...and for what?

She knew the reason, there was no forgetting what he'd done, but still...she was so emotionally drained from it all, that her resolve no longer resonated with her heart.

Watching as Daniel shook his head angrily at her silence, his jaw clenched tensley shut, no doubt to avoid muttering something he might regret, she felt a shiver as he coldly brushed past her, the hem of his jacket just sweeping across the side of her lap. His destination, she didn't know, though she was certain wherever he left to, he'd make sure his liver was well satiated with the toxic taste of alcohol to compensate for his ruptured heart.

How many times had they gone through it all; the fighting, the arguments, the pleading...the icy silence and sharpened glares? The sickening motion of such convoluted emotions swirling around in both their minds...with no endpoint...no resolution in sight.

It truly was exhausting.

"Wait" she murmured hastily, her body moving before she even knew what she was doing, finding herself up from her seat as she reached out for him, her fingers clasping on to the back of his hand, just before he slipped out of her reach and exited through her porch steps.

It was a sudden act...impulsive and not very much like something Emily would do. But something had come over her as she saw him walk away with the anger and bitterness her toxic cycle drew. Anger and bitterness she knew he'd find a way to emit back on to her in retaliation the very next day. And so on and so forth, until both their heavy hearts sunk even further.

That feeling, that act was from a sense of desperation, to free herself from it, to unshackle herself from him once and for all...to end it.

Feeling a chill run up his spine, as her hand made sudden contact with his own, Daniel reluctantly turned to face her, a hardened expression still plastered on his face, as he was forced to stare straight into the eyes of the woman who he had both loved and hated more passionately than any other, and as her cold hand dropped from his own as suddenly as she had grabbed onto it, Daniel took a small step back from her as though he didn't trust himself or his body to be so close to her.

"Daniel I..."

His eyes flickering between the resoluteness he saw in her eyes, and the words her lips were slowly forming. Words filled with honesty as opposed to spite, and her true feelings as opposed to her stubborn resolve. Daniel shivered from the frigidness of the air, as he watched her take in a jagged breath before steadily uttering with a chilling sense of finality buried within her voice, "I'm finished."

Those simple words releasing both herself and Daniel from the toxic relationship their love had sadly morphed into.

As the words Daniel had been so desperately waiting to hear finally echoed throughout his head, Daniel drew out a needed breath, the expression on his face softening ever so slightly as a wave of relief washed over him from knowing that he'd no longer have to hurt or be hurt by his ex-lover, or feel the resentment that rose up inside of him every time she skillfully provoked her.

He'd be free; free of her and free to put her behind him...If he could ever dare to do so because for all the talk, and all the harsh words and cruel actions exchanged, deep down he knew that there was still a part of himself that loved her regardless, a tiny flame inside his heart that not even her icy cold glares could extinguish.

"So that's it then" he questioned tentatively, his eyes staring straight into her own as the overwhelming complexity of life without Emily Thorne began to wash over him.

"Yes" Emily replied stringently, taking a seat back on the porch swing she'd been previously sitting on. "I'll have my attorney draft the divorce papers shortly, then I'll be gone for good".

It was a funny thing, she'd thought ending this would invigorate her; providing her with the strength that had been steadily draining out of her, but that wasn't so much the case. Sure when the words had first spilled out of her mouth, she'd felt a sudden weight lift off her heart, making it all the easier to breath. But now she was just beginning to feel all the more empty...and scared for she knew that by letting him go she would truly be alone, and unable to hide the pain behind her anger and the actions they induced. No, she'd have to face them head on, and sort through them to heal, a rather daunting task, even for Emily Thorne.

She'd have to truly untangle herself from Daniel Grayson, the man she had loved too strongly maybe.

What had it been? Three or so years since she'd first moved to the Hampton's and bumped into him at the memorial day party, that started all of this.

From that day, Daniel had been both her sunshine, and warmth, as well as her thunder and rain...but he had always been there, even if they like recently, his presence had only brought her pain. Going forward though that was about to change...and she'd have to remember who she was without Daniel...or more favorably, she'd have to figure out the woman she wanted to become.

"I'd guessed as much" Daniel murmured as he instinctively walked closer towards her, unsure as to why with her confirmation that she would be leaving, he suddenly felt an inclination to draw out the night with her. It wasn't as though he had anything more to say, but still he couldn't bring himself to leave just yet, not with knowing it could very likely be one of the last times he'd be with her.

Emily had once told him that before she'd settled into the Hampton's, she'd moved from city to city a lot, trying to find a place that felt like home.

He remembered how sad that thought had made him feel...her not having a place she felt anchored to and so he'd asked her if the Hampton's was finally beginning to feel like a place she could call home.

"With you here it is beginning to" she'd responded tenderly, making his heart pound fiercely from the love he'd felt, as he'd pulled her into his arms.

That was gone though...he wasn't here with her anymore...not with the distance that had developed between them and so her anchor to this place had dissolved, leaving her no real reason to stay.

Her leaving was probably what was best though, his feelings for Emily Thorne were too strong and too complicated for him to be able to truly compartmentalize them, without her intoxicating presence far far away. Still even knowing that he struggled to understand why the thought of the Hampton's without her seemed to unsettle him so much?

His eyes observing the goosebumps that had run up her arm from the chill in the air, Daniel instinctively shrugged off his jacket. Not being able to shake, his rather gentlemen like action...not with her. Foolishly she was still in the dress she'd worn to her event, and as beautiful as it looked on her, it did nothing in terms of providing her with any kind of warmth.

It was a shame, the warm summer nights having been replaced with the coolness of the air, as though the weather wanted to indicate that even summer was coming to an end; slowly dying as though to match the final end of their turbulent relationship.

"You're freezing" he whispered, justifying his actions as he leaned down into her unexpecting body, taking the liberty of wrapping his jacket gently around her cold shoulders, before tentatively sitting down on the seat beside her.

It was an action that saddened her more than anything else, reminding her of the Daniel she'd fallen in love with, the man who had regarded her with love and care, above all else. And as her body began to feel increasingly warmer, the cold that had chilled her bones being absorbed by the warmth of his jacket, Emily found that as much as she tried, she couldn't bring herself to deny herself of his kind gesture and drop his jacket from her shoulders...though equally she could neither bring herself to push the words thank you, out over the lump that had formed in the back of her throat.

Closing her eyes, as if wanting to imagine that he wasn't still beside him, she tiredly whispered, "I want to be alone Daniel".

It was late... very late, and his presence alone bruised her, especially after the emotions he'd stirred up within her at the charity event and now here on her front porch. She'd said what needed to be said anyway and it was truly best they stayed away from each other...it was easier that way.

Daniel nodded his head slowly, knowing full well that he needed to leave...to let her go...something he had wished to be able to do ever since their feud had begun. Sitting quietly on her porch swing now though, reflecting upon everything they'd both had and lost...he was beginning to realize just how hard that action would prove.

He had always loved this spot, there was something peaceful about it, something calming about sitting there and swinging slowly as you let your thoughts run a wander, taking in the beautiful beach in your view, and feeling the gentle ocean breeze against your skin.

He had especially loved this spot when Emily was beside him. Her gentle light chatter, making him smile, as she went over her day. Or the simple way they could both sit in peaceful silence, their hands lovingly intertwined, though their minds in separate places, both taking solace in each others simple presence.

They had shared many a kisses, hugs and smiles on this spot too, it being the very spot he'd admitted he'd first fallen in love with her...a feeling he was now being forced to shake.

Shivering himself now, as another cold breeze blew past him, Daniel sighed to himself, as he looked towards his view of the manor; his pretentiously grand house which when inside, left him feeling all the more cold, and empty, from the sense of darkness the stone walls portrayed as if they were a reflection of all his parents sinful actions.

Actions that he'd let slip...when he had the chance to right their wrongs, as Emily had so encouraged him to do back years ago when he had held an interview defending his father from the allegations he'd faced.

She had never admitted it to him on that day, but when she had first broken their engagement it had became blatantly clear how disappointed she had been in him by the words she'd spoken as she'd handed him back her ring. "I'm watching you become everything you said you never wanted to be."

She was right, even more so now...but yet foolishly she'd still put the ring back on her finger. If she hadn't then it would have saved her from a whole lot of pain, for although after they'd broken up he had worked towards his better self, in the end he now knew, he'd only taken one step forward, and two huge steps back.

Getting ready to stand and leave Emily within the solitude he thought she desired, Daniel froze in his spot, a tremor running throughout him as he felt a sudden gentle weight lean against the side of his body. An action of Emily's that confused him exponentially, giving the situation they were currently in; throwing his emotions off balance, as he sat there rigid as a rock, before very hesitantly wrapping his arms around her, deeming it safe to complete the embrace she'd unexpectedly initiated.

He didn't know what she was thinking, and he almost didn't care. In fact he'd had to bite his tongue, to avoid uttering her name, for fear that his voice would shake her back into reality. The reality where her body resting comfortably against his own, and her head resting on his steady shoulders, couldn't happen.

But is was happening, one last time he supposed and he'd readily take it; the warmth of her body against her own, the lingering aroma of her sweet perfume and the steady beat of her heart against his chest. He'd take it all one last time, if that's what she wanted...desired, even if it meant all the more hurt when it was time to let go.

Again.

She felt so helpless….again she had given in...drew closer to him, when she needed to be drawing away from him.

She'd been tired...exhausted…and he'd been there...right there when he himself, should have drawn away from her too. It was twisted more than anything else, trying to find comfort in the man who had hurt her... and selfish; using the man in that very way when she had no intention of forgiving him.

Still…..even knowing that it felt so good being there in his steady arms one last time, so good having him hold her as if he could shield her from her own pain, and leaning against him to absolve the struggle she felt to hold her fragile self up alone. Maybe that's why her body had moved on its own accord, ignoring the rationality of her apprehensive mind, a mind that knew it was wrong, that knew it would only confuse her more.

Feeling moisture begin to form in the corner of her eyes, eyes that remained closed, from her desire not to be reminded of whose arms she was in. A single, agonizing tear slid down her cheek, causing her body to tremble ever so slightly against his own, thus propelling a steady flow of hot silent tears to stream down her cheeks.

They were tears of frustration more than anything else...she just felt so weak and so helpless, to the overwhelming feelings and emotions caged inside of her. Feelings that wouldn't dissolve nor disappear...feelings that fluctuated unfathomably, making her completely vulnerable at times when her emotional strength had dissipated for the day

Staring at her in startlement, still shocked by her tears; a clear sign of vulnerability, which Emily was usually so well-equipped at hiding. Daniel felt another pang of regret in his heart, as he felt the moisture from her salty tears begin to dampen his shirt.

Finding himself instinctively wanting to comfort her as best as he could, Daniel pulled Emily even closer to him, gingerly stroking the top of her head in a comforting manner, as his fingers eventually settled on playing softly with her golden locks, in a way that made her heart throb with the ache she felt.

It was ironic more than anything else, him trying to comfort her, being that the source of her tears were from the guilt and confusion she felt from allowing such affectionate actions between them to occur in the first place.

But then again their whole relationship was an overwhelming mess of the convoluted thoughts, and emotions they felt, and then the frustrating actions they inevitably ended up performing.

Those three aspects never seeming to clearly align.

Well there it is, chapter 15, I hope you enjoyed it, if you did comments are always appreciated =D

And stay tuned for chapter 16, which I promise not to take so long to update.