Chapter 10 – Francis Prances in Pink, Frilly Pantses
"It was about 10 years ago when they brought Reno and I up to be Turks." Rude began. "There had been a rebel group before AVALANCE, I forget the name, that had been giving Shin-ra some major trouble. Not destroying reactors, but a lot of personal threats to high officials. It was enough for the fourth generation of Turks to be sent in for." Rude looked over at Vincent momentarily.
Vincent shook his head. "No, I belonged to the third generation."
Rude looked back to the rest of AVALANCHE. "Unfortunately, during this time President Shin-ra still had faith in Heidegger, so he took direct control over the entire operation. Which meant the infiltration was his planning too. Of the four Turks that went into a building that contained the entire rebel faction, only Tseng walked out. He was the only person to walk out of there, Turk or other. After that, Shin-ra cut the Turk budget, and we were brought down to three members."
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Reno stepped into the room and looked around quickly before setting his ratty duffel bag down on the ground beside him. Kneeling beside it, his red bangs falling in front of his face, Reno removed a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. Another quick search of the room yielded his destination, and he sat himself down on the couch across from him. After putting his feet up on the table in front of him, flakes of mud falling about it, he lit the cigarette and happily puffed away.
"I don't think there's any smoking in here." Reno glanced over to the door and found a bald man looking over at him. Well, man was a bit of an understatement. 'More like a mountain that crammed itself into a suit. Fuckin' roid-monkey.'
"And what makes you say that?" Reno asked between drags. The bald man didn't answer verbally, and instead opted to point over Reno's head. Craning his neck up, the red head found a large "no smoking" sign hanging above of the couch he still sat on. "Yeah, that would probably do it." He said, more to himself than to the other man with him in the room. Hopping up to stand on the couch, Reno flicked a switchblade out of his pocket and went to work. Seconds later, he held the sign he had pried off the wall in his hand, and tucked it under one of the couch's cushions. "Ahh, much better right?" He took a puff of the cigarette and looked back at... "So what's your name buddy?"
"Rude." Reno frowned a little.
"What, I'm not being rude anymore... There's no sign to say I can't smoke." Rude shook his head.
"No, my name is Rude."
"Wow, mean parents."
"You don't know the half of it." Rude looked up at the discoloured patch of wall where the no-smoking sign once hung for all to obey. "Got a light?" Rude pulled out a cigarette and sat down.
Reno sat talking at Rude for the next couple minutes, in conversation comprised of basically anything and everything that popped into the red head's mind, creating the first of a trend that would be repeated multiple times over the coming years. Shortly thereafter, a tall Wutain man entered the room.
"Reno. Rude. Come with..." He stopped and looked above the couch for a moment. His dark eyes drifted down to the cigarettes held between each man's lips. A quick assessment of Rude's un-emotion, and Reno's attempt to look innocent, gave Tseng his culprit. Settling his glare on the smallest of the room's occupants, Tseng raised one eyebrow as Reno shrugged. Creating the first of a trend that would be repeated multiple times over the coming years.
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"This place sucks."
Rude looked up from his position sitting on one of the workout mats strewn about Shin-ra's personal gym. "What?"
"This gym, this building. It all sucks." Reno lay flat on his back, a quick hand wiping the sweat away from his eyes. He sat up and looked around. "Look at all these tools, man. Running their lives away on those treadmills, just so they can look good for their bosses. Always so neat and tidy. You just know some of these people are just filthy slobs on the inside." He looked at his callused hands as he waved him in front of his face. "Just like the rest of us."
"So why do you stay?"
"Huh?" Reno looked over at his new friend, who didn't repeat the question. "I dunno. Nowhere else to go. Tseng didn't exactly give me any options"
Rude pushed himself up to his feet. "You didn't sign up for this?"
Reno did the best he could and got into a sitting position. "Hell, no." His eyes clouded over "Tseng found me passed out in an alley, blood seeping from a knife wound in my side. Healed me up when he saw the four bodies inside the building I fell out of." A grim smile passed over Reno's lips as he stared off into the distance. "It was the least I could do for her." He spoke to himself.
Rude gave a quizzical look, but did not question the faraway look in his companion's eyes. Extending a hand, he pulled Reno up to his feet. "So you won't leave?"
"No. But I won't end up like them." Reno waved his hand around the room. "Not like some mindless drone..."
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"Tseng, man, you've really gotta lighten up buddy. We're friends, right? Don't be a dick." Reno called from behind the thick curtain separating him from his boss.
Tseng held his head in his hand. "Reno, put on the suit. Properly, if its not too much trouble."
The curtain slid back. Reno stood there in his new suit, already wrinkled and crumpled, the tie hanging around his neck, untied no less, with a shirt buttoned up in all the wrong ways. "Actually..." He placed his sunglasses into his unruly hair. "It is."
Tseng's foot, then fist, shot out quickly, striking Reno and forcing him back into the changing stall. Another kick to the ribs, and the new Turk went down hard. Reno looked up at his boss "What the hell?"
The Wutain bent down in front of Reno. "Outside of this building, and on missions, yes I am your friend. I will be your best friend." He grabbed the tie from around Reno's neck. "But in here, I am your superior, and you will do exactly as I say. And the same goes for orders from Heidegger or Rufus." Releasing his hold on the young man, Tseng stood up again. "Should you fail to comply, you will be disciplined." He lowered his voice again. "Don't make things hard on yourself."
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"Reno... Late again. And in improper attire no less. Will you never learn."
Reno pulled the sunglasses off of his eyes and glared at Heidegger, and at his small squadron of men behind him. "Oh, give me a break fat man. It's Monday. I'm not up for this shit."
Heidegger snapped his fingers and a few guards stepped forward to restrain the Turk. Reno did not fight back. He had learned that it didn't help anything. Heidegger's horse-laugh rang throughout the room they stood across from each other in. "I don't care what you're up for little man." The Shin-ra executive stepped up to his underling. "But I think it's time for a little eye-opener, slum rat." Again, he snapped his fingers, and one of the guards planted the butt of his rifle into the base of Reno's skull. He staggered on his feet for a few seconds, confused, before slumping to the ground and succumbing to unconsciousness. "You." Heidegger pointed to a foot soldier beside him. "Go inform Tseng of the situation."
The guard nodded once and jogged off to the elevator. Stepping off on the Turks personal level, he found Tseng standing beside his desk, staring out towards the great glacier. "Sir?" the guard called for the leader of the Turks attention. Tseng waved a hand behind his back in acknowledgement. "Turk Reno has been escorted out of the building. His two month hiatus begins now."
"Very well. You can go." And with that, the guard was gone. Tseng stood silently for the next few minutes. Not after long, Rude stepped in.
"Tseng? Have you heard from Reno? He's later than usual."
"I know." Tseng still did not turn around. "He's been sent to the Icicle Inn detainment facility. President Shin-ra and Heidegger think it will do some good to have another obedient Turk."
Rude's fists balled up as he slid them into his jacket pockets. "And you allowed this?"
Wearily, Tseng turned to his friend. "It was either this, or take the order to kill him ourselves. Turks can't retire, Rude."
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Reno woke up and realised that it was dark. And cold. Very, very cold. With a groan, he pushed himself up into a seated position and cradled his head in his hands. Then he looked down at himself. "Oh, God. Please, please tell me I'm not sitting here in just my boxers..." Reno stopped. "Who the hell am I praying to?"
"Hey, you up?" Reno heard a voice that seemed not too far away, most likely just outside the small room he determined that he was currently residing in. "Hey, he's awake. Let's go." A door flew open, and light flooded the room. Reno squinted into a low sun, silhouetting the man in front of him. "Get up. An welcome to the Tank."
"The Tank? Up in the great glacier?" Reno watched the guard lock handcuffs into place on his wrists before leading him out the door and into the biting cold. "Whoo, boy. What've I gotten myself into this time."
The masked guard looked back at him. "A whole heap of trouble, boy. Now shut the fuck up before I take your head off."
Reno sized the guard up, and couldn't help but laugh. "You have any idea who I am?"
"All I know is you're the one wearing handcuffs, and I'm the one with the big ass gun." He planted the butt of his rifle into Reno's stomach. "Now shut up."
"Right, so just how long am I scheduled to be up here?"
The guard stopped in his tracks. "Seriously. What did I just say." He punched Reno in the face, and the Turk's head rocked back. "Shut your stupid mouth before I break your jaw."
Reno shook his head to clear it. "Go ahead. I don't stop talking for anybody." This time it was the guard's turn to laugh.
"We'll see about that."
"Francis!" A voice up ahead called out to the pair. "Let's go already."
"Francis?" Reno asked with a goofy grin spread across his face.
"Yeah, that's my name. What of it."
"Francis..." Reno looked thoughtful. "as in 'Francis prances in pink, frilly pantses?'" The gun slammed into the side of Reno's head this time, and he dropped to a knee. Chuckling lightly, Reno spoke loud enough for Francis to hear. "Guess so. I think we're gonna be great buddies, Francis."
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"Ahhh, Mr. Reno. We're honoured to have such a prestigious... guest... among us here at the Tank." A giant of a man paced in front of Reno, a baton twirling in his hand. "We've had Shin-ra executives up here before, but a Turk? Never."
"And just what am I doing here." Reno asked from his position. "'Here' meaning more than just upside down, attached to this bloody machine."
"As my understanding has it, you haven't been behaving very properly. So Shin-ra is having you re-educated." The man walked over to a small computer, linked to the machine Reno resided within at the moment. "Welcome to your first lesson." Throwing a switch, Reno's body was flooded with electricity, as he bit the inside of his cheeks to keep from crying out. After a few moments of pain, the voltage died away. "And how was that warm up."
Reno coughed, the blood that filled his mouth spewing out. "T- tickled. That all you got, fancy-pants?" With a smile, the man turned a dial quickly, and activated the electric flow. This time, Reno couldn't help but cry out sharply.
"My name is Captain Dixon. You'll address me as such."
Another cough racked Reno's body. "Dixon? You've gotta be kidding me. Between you an 'Francis' this is gonna be one hell of a vacation."
The smile disappeared from Dixon's face. "This is hardly a vacation. Don't forget that." The machine was activated yet again, and Dixon left the room to leave Reno with his battle to stop from screaming.
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"Reno was there for two and a half more weeks, brutally tortured and brainwashed until he was the model Shin-ra employee." Rude looked around the room, the occupants focused on him completely.
"Fascinating." Red spoke up. "I had no idea such a place had existed."
"Well, it wasn't exactly in Shin-ra's best interest to tell everyone where they kept their worst enemies." Elena responded. "At least, the ones they hadn't killed yet."
Tifa raised her hand like a schoolgirl. "So Reno was re-educated then, or whatever? He doesn't really seem like it."
"Yes, well. That's the thing about Reno. Nobody really knows what he's thinking."
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"Reno, I must say I'm disappointed. I thought such a renowned Turk would have lasted in my fine establishment for at least a month. But here you are, exactly what Shin-ra asked for, less than three weeks later."
A blank stare met Dixon's gleeful one. "I apologise, Sir. Your disappointment is solely my fault. I'll report to electroshock therapy." Reno stood, in full Turk suit, with all the pieces in place.
Dixon couldn't help but laugh. "No, no, m'boy. You've done wonderfully. In fact, you get to go home. Doesn't that excite you?" He received no answer. "Ah well. At least my job is done. Get onto the helicopter Reno."
The Turk remained silent once again, as he turned and walked up to the helipad, as snow whipped around him. Francis stood by the stepladder, his gun resting on his shoulder. "Looks like you're riding with me, loser." Francis smirked as Reno passed him and climbed into the helicopter. Francis entered behind him. "Now I want a quiet ride home, so no talking, got it?"
"Yes, sir."
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"General Heidegger, Lieutenant Maclaren, reporting with Tank subject number 4536, Reno." Francis saluted the fat man in the green suit. He received a short one in return, as Heidegger focused on the serene Reno that stood behind him, also saluting obediently.
"This is fantastic. Completely reformed, I take it?" Francis nodded. "Perfect. Now that he's back, I'll go show off my success to the President." Heidegger turned and rushed out of the room, leaving Reno alone with Francis.
"Geez, the President? Do you think, I'll get my promotion finally?" Reno didn't answer him. The lieutenant turned his back to the Turk. "Yeah, that's what I was thinking." He quieted down. The two stayed in silence for a couple minutes longer. "Man, I just can't wait to get out of the Tank. Maybe I'll even get stationed here in the Shin-ra building."
"Oh, I don't think you need to worry about ever leaving this place Francis." Francis gasped sharply in surprise, as a hand clamped around his mouth.
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"Mr. President, Sir, it's just through this door here." Heidegger pushed it open, still facing President Shin-ra. "The Tank reports that Reno has been completely reformed right...down...to the..."
Heidegger trailed off and gaped alongside the President at the body of Francis Maclaren, hanging from the room's solitary ceiling fan. A Turk issue tie hanging from his neck.
Shin-ra turned to his general. "Explain, Heidegger."
"I..." Heidegger was completely confused. "I don't understand... They said he was completely docile until orders were issued."
"Well, I was a master thespian in my grade 9 drama class." Reno stood behind them, sunglasses in his unruly hair, and a crumpled and unbuttoned suit adorning him. He took a quick bite of the apple he held in his hand. "At least, I would have been if I had gone to school."
Heidegger pulled the pistol from his hip holster and levelled it on the man in front of him. Reno calmly enjoyed his apple. It was the President who stopped the General.
"Don't you dare pull that trigger Heidegger."
"What?" For the second time in as many minutes, Heidegger was confused. "Why?"
"Because it would cost to much to re-train a Turk. You blew it with this Tank idea of yours. Now you have to live with that mistake." With that, the President walked away.
Heidegger was red in the face due to anger and embarrassment. "You!" he pointed at Reno. "This is all your fault. You were reformed they said. A perfect employee."
Reno began walking past his superior, towards the elevator. As he became shoulder to shoulder with Heidegger, he paused. "You can't break me, fat man. Nothing can." Then, he was gone.
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The trio of blue suited men sat at the round table, the drinks in front of them as different as they were. Nobody in the rest of the bar dare cast a glance towards the boogeymen of Shin-ra. Waitresses flipped coins in the back to see who had to serve them their next round. Even as the other patrons did their best to drown out the skinny one's unruly voice, it rose another octave.
"Hey, do you guys remember that time we were in Cosmo Canyon?" Reno laughed loudly in anticipation to his own story. "And Tseng starting laughing at that joke I told and just about shot his big toe off?" Rude chuckled lightly and Tseng gave Reno a disapproving look. "Oh, man. You shoulda seen your face. It was priceless."
Reno pounded the table in front of him with his fist, still howling wildly. Tseng smiled to himself and took a slow sip. "I would imagine it would have been something akin to the time Rufus kicked you in the groin for not dressing properly."
Reno stopped laughing. "Hey, when I said 'give me your best shot, little man' I thought he was just going to shoot me in the leg or something. He didn't have to be so harsh." The trio laughed together for a few more seconds before dropping off into silence.
"I'll be right back." Tseng stood up and headed to the washroom. Rude looked over as Reno finished off the last of his drink.
"Why don't you?"
"Why don't I, what?" Reno asked, confused at the sudden question.
"Why don't you ever dress properly. You've been getting the shit kicked out of you almost everyday for 2 years now. Just do up some buttons."
"Not a chance."
"Maybe you should think about it. Stop being so stubborn."
Reno paused. He didn't like the tone of his friend's voice. "Why? What's going on?"
"I'm not too sure." Rude shrugged. "But I think Tseng isn't going to be able to hold the President back from putting you in place much longer."
It was Reno's turn to shrug. "Let them fire me, kill me. I don't really care."
"Yeah I know. But he might approve some of Hojo's proposals." Reno visibly paled. "Just think about conforming once in a while... For your own good."
Reno swirled the ice around in the now drinkless glass he held. "I don't like my own good."
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Reno sat in a simple chair, centred in the middle of a plain white room. Tseng stood with his back against the only doorway, massaging his temples. Silence hung heavy over the room as Reno struggled not to say anything stupid. 'Which basically limits me to saying nothing.' His foot started tapping, slowly at first, but gaining speed as he fought harder and harder not to open his mouth.
"So I..."
"Don't." Tseng held up a single hand to stay Reno's mouth. "Just... don't." Finally, the Wutain released his grip from the sides of his head and sighed heavily. "Now, why exactly did you light the President's desk on fire while he was out to lunch?"
"I didn't."
Disbelief shone through brightly in Tseng's eyes as he moved to a different spot on the wall. "You're going to tell me you didn't do it." Reno nodded. "Even with the security tape." Another nod. "And the testimony of fifteen people you invited into the office to 'check out' what you did." A pause. Then a fervent nodding.
"I didn't set his desk on fire. I set his potted plant on fire. The desk catching was just a bonus."
Mere moments after completing his explanation, Reno watched the door to the small room open, and the most powerful man in the world walked in.
"Mr. President." Tseng gave a slight bow. "How can I help you?"
"I need to speak with you privately Tseng."
"Very well."
The two stepped out of the room and closed the door behind them. "That Turk's actions are inexcusable Tseng. We can't have a threat like that walking around."
"Sir, Reno is..."
"I said 'inexcusable.' As in no excuses. Discipline has been ineffective and he cannot perform this way." President Shin-ra's look stopped Tseng from protesting. "Yes, I understand that he is a very proficient Turk. Which is exactly why I'm not having you take him out back and shoot him. But you can't protect him anymore. I've given the go-ahead for Hojo to begin implementation of his 'Mental Dampening' procedure. Order Reno down to the lab immediately. Escort him if need be." And with that, the president turned on his heel and walked back down the hall. Tseng stood outside the door for a moment longer, digesting the information. Then with a heavy hand he stepped back into the room with his friend still seated in the chair.
Reno's mouth was not curled into his usual smirk, but instead drawn into a straight line. His eyes were downcast, staring a few inches in front of his feet. "I have to go see Hojo, don't I." Tseng didn't answer. Instead he walked up to the red head and extended his hand. Reno looked at it, then stood up unassisted. "Don't worry about it. I'll be fine."
"It was about 10 years ago when they brought Reno and I up to be Turks." Rude began. "There had been a rebel group before AVALANCE, I forget the name, that had been giving Shin-ra some major trouble. Not destroying reactors, but a lot of personal threats to high officials. It was enough for the fourth generation of Turks to be sent in for." Rude looked over at Vincent momentarily.
Vincent shook his head. "No, I belonged to the third generation."
Rude looked back to the rest of AVALANCHE. "Unfortunately, during this time President Shin-ra still had faith in Heidegger, so he took direct control over the entire operation. Which meant the infiltration was his planning too. Of the four Turks that went into a building that contained the entire rebel faction, only Tseng walked out. He was the only person to walk out of there, Turk or other. After that, Shin-ra cut the Turk budget, and we were brought down to three members."
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Reno stepped into the room and looked around quickly before setting his ratty duffel bag down on the ground beside him. Kneeling beside it, his red bangs falling in front of his face, Reno removed a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. Another quick search of the room yielded his destination, and he sat himself down on the couch across from him. After putting his feet up on the table in front of him, flakes of mud falling about it, he lit the cigarette and happily puffed away.
"I don't think there's any smoking in here." Reno glanced over to the door and found a bald man looking over at him. Well, man was a bit of an understatement. 'More like a mountain that crammed itself into a suit. Fuckin' roid-monkey.'
"And what makes you say that?" Reno asked between drags. The bald man didn't answer verbally, and instead opted to point over Reno's head. Craning his neck up, the red head found a large "no smoking" sign hanging above of the couch he still sat on. "Yeah, that would probably do it." He said, more to himself than to the other man with him in the room. Hopping up to stand on the couch, Reno flicked a switchblade out of his pocket and went to work. Seconds later, he held the sign he had pried off the wall in his hand, and tucked it under one of the couch's cushions. "Ahh, much better right?" He took a puff of the cigarette and looked back at... "So what's your name buddy?"
"Rude." Reno frowned a little.
"What, I'm not being rude anymore... There's no sign to say I can't smoke." Rude shook his head.
"No, my name is Rude."
"Wow, mean parents."
"You don't know the half of it." Rude looked up at the discoloured patch of wall where the no-smoking sign once hung for all to obey. "Got a light?" Rude pulled out a cigarette and sat down.
Reno sat talking at Rude for the next couple minutes, in conversation comprised of basically anything and everything that popped into the red head's mind, creating the first of a trend that would be repeated multiple times over the coming years. Shortly thereafter, a tall Wutain man entered the room.
"Reno. Rude. Come with..." He stopped and looked above the couch for a moment. His dark eyes drifted down to the cigarettes held between each man's lips. A quick assessment of Rude's un-emotion, and Reno's attempt to look innocent, gave Tseng his culprit. Settling his glare on the smallest of the room's occupants, Tseng raised one eyebrow as Reno shrugged. Creating the first of a trend that would be repeated multiple times over the coming years.
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"This place sucks."
Rude looked up from his position sitting on one of the workout mats strewn about Shin-ra's personal gym. "What?"
"This gym, this building. It all sucks." Reno lay flat on his back, a quick hand wiping the sweat away from his eyes. He sat up and looked around. "Look at all these tools, man. Running their lives away on those treadmills, just so they can look good for their bosses. Always so neat and tidy. You just know some of these people are just filthy slobs on the inside." He looked at his callused hands as he waved him in front of his face. "Just like the rest of us."
"So why do you stay?"
"Huh?" Reno looked over at his new friend, who didn't repeat the question. "I dunno. Nowhere else to go. Tseng didn't exactly give me any options"
Rude pushed himself up to his feet. "You didn't sign up for this?"
Reno did the best he could and got into a sitting position. "Hell, no." His eyes clouded over "Tseng found me passed out in an alley, blood seeping from a knife wound in my side. Healed me up when he saw the four bodies inside the building I fell out of." A grim smile passed over Reno's lips as he stared off into the distance. "It was the least I could do for her." He spoke to himself.
Rude gave a quizzical look, but did not question the faraway look in his companion's eyes. Extending a hand, he pulled Reno up to his feet. "So you won't leave?"
"No. But I won't end up like them." Reno waved his hand around the room. "Not like some mindless drone..."
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"Tseng, man, you've really gotta lighten up buddy. We're friends, right? Don't be a dick." Reno called from behind the thick curtain separating him from his boss.
Tseng held his head in his hand. "Reno, put on the suit. Properly, if its not too much trouble."
The curtain slid back. Reno stood there in his new suit, already wrinkled and crumpled, the tie hanging around his neck, untied no less, with a shirt buttoned up in all the wrong ways. "Actually..." He placed his sunglasses into his unruly hair. "It is."
Tseng's foot, then fist, shot out quickly, striking Reno and forcing him back into the changing stall. Another kick to the ribs, and the new Turk went down hard. Reno looked up at his boss "What the hell?"
The Wutain bent down in front of Reno. "Outside of this building, and on missions, yes I am your friend. I will be your best friend." He grabbed the tie from around Reno's neck. "But in here, I am your superior, and you will do exactly as I say. And the same goes for orders from Heidegger or Rufus." Releasing his hold on the young man, Tseng stood up again. "Should you fail to comply, you will be disciplined." He lowered his voice again. "Don't make things hard on yourself."
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"Reno... Late again. And in improper attire no less. Will you never learn."
Reno pulled the sunglasses off of his eyes and glared at Heidegger, and at his small squadron of men behind him. "Oh, give me a break fat man. It's Monday. I'm not up for this shit."
Heidegger snapped his fingers and a few guards stepped forward to restrain the Turk. Reno did not fight back. He had learned that it didn't help anything. Heidegger's horse-laugh rang throughout the room they stood across from each other in. "I don't care what you're up for little man." The Shin-ra executive stepped up to his underling. "But I think it's time for a little eye-opener, slum rat." Again, he snapped his fingers, and one of the guards planted the butt of his rifle into the base of Reno's skull. He staggered on his feet for a few seconds, confused, before slumping to the ground and succumbing to unconsciousness. "You." Heidegger pointed to a foot soldier beside him. "Go inform Tseng of the situation."
The guard nodded once and jogged off to the elevator. Stepping off on the Turks personal level, he found Tseng standing beside his desk, staring out towards the great glacier. "Sir?" the guard called for the leader of the Turks attention. Tseng waved a hand behind his back in acknowledgement. "Turk Reno has been escorted out of the building. His two month hiatus begins now."
"Very well. You can go." And with that, the guard was gone. Tseng stood silently for the next few minutes. Not after long, Rude stepped in.
"Tseng? Have you heard from Reno? He's later than usual."
"I know." Tseng still did not turn around. "He's been sent to the Icicle Inn detainment facility. President Shin-ra and Heidegger think it will do some good to have another obedient Turk."
Rude's fists balled up as he slid them into his jacket pockets. "And you allowed this?"
Wearily, Tseng turned to his friend. "It was either this, or take the order to kill him ourselves. Turks can't retire, Rude."
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Reno woke up and realised that it was dark. And cold. Very, very cold. With a groan, he pushed himself up into a seated position and cradled his head in his hands. Then he looked down at himself. "Oh, God. Please, please tell me I'm not sitting here in just my boxers..." Reno stopped. "Who the hell am I praying to?"
"Hey, you up?" Reno heard a voice that seemed not too far away, most likely just outside the small room he determined that he was currently residing in. "Hey, he's awake. Let's go." A door flew open, and light flooded the room. Reno squinted into a low sun, silhouetting the man in front of him. "Get up. An welcome to the Tank."
"The Tank? Up in the great glacier?" Reno watched the guard lock handcuffs into place on his wrists before leading him out the door and into the biting cold. "Whoo, boy. What've I gotten myself into this time."
The masked guard looked back at him. "A whole heap of trouble, boy. Now shut the fuck up before I take your head off."
Reno sized the guard up, and couldn't help but laugh. "You have any idea who I am?"
"All I know is you're the one wearing handcuffs, and I'm the one with the big ass gun." He planted the butt of his rifle into Reno's stomach. "Now shut up."
"Right, so just how long am I scheduled to be up here?"
The guard stopped in his tracks. "Seriously. What did I just say." He punched Reno in the face, and the Turk's head rocked back. "Shut your stupid mouth before I break your jaw."
Reno shook his head to clear it. "Go ahead. I don't stop talking for anybody." This time it was the guard's turn to laugh.
"We'll see about that."
"Francis!" A voice up ahead called out to the pair. "Let's go already."
"Francis?" Reno asked with a goofy grin spread across his face.
"Yeah, that's my name. What of it."
"Francis..." Reno looked thoughtful. "as in 'Francis prances in pink, frilly pantses?'" The gun slammed into the side of Reno's head this time, and he dropped to a knee. Chuckling lightly, Reno spoke loud enough for Francis to hear. "Guess so. I think we're gonna be great buddies, Francis."
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"Ahhh, Mr. Reno. We're honoured to have such a prestigious... guest... among us here at the Tank." A giant of a man paced in front of Reno, a baton twirling in his hand. "We've had Shin-ra executives up here before, but a Turk? Never."
"And just what am I doing here." Reno asked from his position. "'Here' meaning more than just upside down, attached to this bloody machine."
"As my understanding has it, you haven't been behaving very properly. So Shin-ra is having you re-educated." The man walked over to a small computer, linked to the machine Reno resided within at the moment. "Welcome to your first lesson." Throwing a switch, Reno's body was flooded with electricity, as he bit the inside of his cheeks to keep from crying out. After a few moments of pain, the voltage died away. "And how was that warm up."
Reno coughed, the blood that filled his mouth spewing out. "T- tickled. That all you got, fancy-pants?" With a smile, the man turned a dial quickly, and activated the electric flow. This time, Reno couldn't help but cry out sharply.
"My name is Captain Dixon. You'll address me as such."
Another cough racked Reno's body. "Dixon? You've gotta be kidding me. Between you an 'Francis' this is gonna be one hell of a vacation."
The smile disappeared from Dixon's face. "This is hardly a vacation. Don't forget that." The machine was activated yet again, and Dixon left the room to leave Reno with his battle to stop from screaming.
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"Reno was there for two and a half more weeks, brutally tortured and brainwashed until he was the model Shin-ra employee." Rude looked around the room, the occupants focused on him completely.
"Fascinating." Red spoke up. "I had no idea such a place had existed."
"Well, it wasn't exactly in Shin-ra's best interest to tell everyone where they kept their worst enemies." Elena responded. "At least, the ones they hadn't killed yet."
Tifa raised her hand like a schoolgirl. "So Reno was re-educated then, or whatever? He doesn't really seem like it."
"Yes, well. That's the thing about Reno. Nobody really knows what he's thinking."
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"Reno, I must say I'm disappointed. I thought such a renowned Turk would have lasted in my fine establishment for at least a month. But here you are, exactly what Shin-ra asked for, less than three weeks later."
A blank stare met Dixon's gleeful one. "I apologise, Sir. Your disappointment is solely my fault. I'll report to electroshock therapy." Reno stood, in full Turk suit, with all the pieces in place.
Dixon couldn't help but laugh. "No, no, m'boy. You've done wonderfully. In fact, you get to go home. Doesn't that excite you?" He received no answer. "Ah well. At least my job is done. Get onto the helicopter Reno."
The Turk remained silent once again, as he turned and walked up to the helipad, as snow whipped around him. Francis stood by the stepladder, his gun resting on his shoulder. "Looks like you're riding with me, loser." Francis smirked as Reno passed him and climbed into the helicopter. Francis entered behind him. "Now I want a quiet ride home, so no talking, got it?"
"Yes, sir."
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"General Heidegger, Lieutenant Maclaren, reporting with Tank subject number 4536, Reno." Francis saluted the fat man in the green suit. He received a short one in return, as Heidegger focused on the serene Reno that stood behind him, also saluting obediently.
"This is fantastic. Completely reformed, I take it?" Francis nodded. "Perfect. Now that he's back, I'll go show off my success to the President." Heidegger turned and rushed out of the room, leaving Reno alone with Francis.
"Geez, the President? Do you think, I'll get my promotion finally?" Reno didn't answer him. The lieutenant turned his back to the Turk. "Yeah, that's what I was thinking." He quieted down. The two stayed in silence for a couple minutes longer. "Man, I just can't wait to get out of the Tank. Maybe I'll even get stationed here in the Shin-ra building."
"Oh, I don't think you need to worry about ever leaving this place Francis." Francis gasped sharply in surprise, as a hand clamped around his mouth.
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"Mr. President, Sir, it's just through this door here." Heidegger pushed it open, still facing President Shin-ra. "The Tank reports that Reno has been completely reformed right...down...to the..."
Heidegger trailed off and gaped alongside the President at the body of Francis Maclaren, hanging from the room's solitary ceiling fan. A Turk issue tie hanging from his neck.
Shin-ra turned to his general. "Explain, Heidegger."
"I..." Heidegger was completely confused. "I don't understand... They said he was completely docile until orders were issued."
"Well, I was a master thespian in my grade 9 drama class." Reno stood behind them, sunglasses in his unruly hair, and a crumpled and unbuttoned suit adorning him. He took a quick bite of the apple he held in his hand. "At least, I would have been if I had gone to school."
Heidegger pulled the pistol from his hip holster and levelled it on the man in front of him. Reno calmly enjoyed his apple. It was the President who stopped the General.
"Don't you dare pull that trigger Heidegger."
"What?" For the second time in as many minutes, Heidegger was confused. "Why?"
"Because it would cost to much to re-train a Turk. You blew it with this Tank idea of yours. Now you have to live with that mistake." With that, the President walked away.
Heidegger was red in the face due to anger and embarrassment. "You!" he pointed at Reno. "This is all your fault. You were reformed they said. A perfect employee."
Reno began walking past his superior, towards the elevator. As he became shoulder to shoulder with Heidegger, he paused. "You can't break me, fat man. Nothing can." Then, he was gone.
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The trio of blue suited men sat at the round table, the drinks in front of them as different as they were. Nobody in the rest of the bar dare cast a glance towards the boogeymen of Shin-ra. Waitresses flipped coins in the back to see who had to serve them their next round. Even as the other patrons did their best to drown out the skinny one's unruly voice, it rose another octave.
"Hey, do you guys remember that time we were in Cosmo Canyon?" Reno laughed loudly in anticipation to his own story. "And Tseng starting laughing at that joke I told and just about shot his big toe off?" Rude chuckled lightly and Tseng gave Reno a disapproving look. "Oh, man. You shoulda seen your face. It was priceless."
Reno pounded the table in front of him with his fist, still howling wildly. Tseng smiled to himself and took a slow sip. "I would imagine it would have been something akin to the time Rufus kicked you in the groin for not dressing properly."
Reno stopped laughing. "Hey, when I said 'give me your best shot, little man' I thought he was just going to shoot me in the leg or something. He didn't have to be so harsh." The trio laughed together for a few more seconds before dropping off into silence.
"I'll be right back." Tseng stood up and headed to the washroom. Rude looked over as Reno finished off the last of his drink.
"Why don't you?"
"Why don't I, what?" Reno asked, confused at the sudden question.
"Why don't you ever dress properly. You've been getting the shit kicked out of you almost everyday for 2 years now. Just do up some buttons."
"Not a chance."
"Maybe you should think about it. Stop being so stubborn."
Reno paused. He didn't like the tone of his friend's voice. "Why? What's going on?"
"I'm not too sure." Rude shrugged. "But I think Tseng isn't going to be able to hold the President back from putting you in place much longer."
It was Reno's turn to shrug. "Let them fire me, kill me. I don't really care."
"Yeah I know. But he might approve some of Hojo's proposals." Reno visibly paled. "Just think about conforming once in a while... For your own good."
Reno swirled the ice around in the now drinkless glass he held. "I don't like my own good."
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Reno sat in a simple chair, centred in the middle of a plain white room. Tseng stood with his back against the only doorway, massaging his temples. Silence hung heavy over the room as Reno struggled not to say anything stupid. 'Which basically limits me to saying nothing.' His foot started tapping, slowly at first, but gaining speed as he fought harder and harder not to open his mouth.
"So I..."
"Don't." Tseng held up a single hand to stay Reno's mouth. "Just... don't." Finally, the Wutain released his grip from the sides of his head and sighed heavily. "Now, why exactly did you light the President's desk on fire while he was out to lunch?"
"I didn't."
Disbelief shone through brightly in Tseng's eyes as he moved to a different spot on the wall. "You're going to tell me you didn't do it." Reno nodded. "Even with the security tape." Another nod. "And the testimony of fifteen people you invited into the office to 'check out' what you did." A pause. Then a fervent nodding.
"I didn't set his desk on fire. I set his potted plant on fire. The desk catching was just a bonus."
Mere moments after completing his explanation, Reno watched the door to the small room open, and the most powerful man in the world walked in.
"Mr. President." Tseng gave a slight bow. "How can I help you?"
"I need to speak with you privately Tseng."
"Very well."
The two stepped out of the room and closed the door behind them. "That Turk's actions are inexcusable Tseng. We can't have a threat like that walking around."
"Sir, Reno is..."
"I said 'inexcusable.' As in no excuses. Discipline has been ineffective and he cannot perform this way." President Shin-ra's look stopped Tseng from protesting. "Yes, I understand that he is a very proficient Turk. Which is exactly why I'm not having you take him out back and shoot him. But you can't protect him anymore. I've given the go-ahead for Hojo to begin implementation of his 'Mental Dampening' procedure. Order Reno down to the lab immediately. Escort him if need be." And with that, the president turned on his heel and walked back down the hall. Tseng stood outside the door for a moment longer, digesting the information. Then with a heavy hand he stepped back into the room with his friend still seated in the chair.
Reno's mouth was not curled into his usual smirk, but instead drawn into a straight line. His eyes were downcast, staring a few inches in front of his feet. "I have to go see Hojo, don't I." Tseng didn't answer. Instead he walked up to the red head and extended his hand. Reno looked at it, then stood up unassisted. "Don't worry about it. I'll be fine."