Disclaimer: Not mine, not making any money. I'm just playing.
Shadow Puppets
Chapter 13
"I still can't believe you thought this was a good idea," Stephanie grumbled, lips barely moving as she spoke. "How long am I supposed to keep still?"
"Indefinitely," Ranger answered, keeping his face similarly immobile. "Think what will happen if you move and somebody sees it. Anyway, you shouldn't need to move."
Stephanie bit back a comment about some people looking like they were waiting to catch flies and stared straight ahead out of the car window. Not that she had any choice in the matter. Let's do some work and make the best of this, Babe. Right. Damn Ranger and his bright ideas.
"I hate this," she said.
"Babe."
"And don't 'Babe' me. This is all your fault."
"Business is business."
"Tell me, would you see a business opportunity if the sky started raining frogs?" She knew she was carping, but right now she didn't give a damn. If she got to sit here, he got to listen to her.
The interior of the car was absolutely silent.
"Ranger?"
There was a faint roar as a car passed theirs where it was parked at the side of the road.
"Answer me, damn you."
"I'm thinking."
"And I'm going nuts here."
"I noticed."
"I hate this," she said again.
"You said."
She stared out of the window. Again. Straight ahead. Again. Occasionally somebody would walk by the car, completely oblivious to their presence.
"People don't see what's right under their noses, do they?" she said curiously.
"Not often. I count on it. The best way to hide is out in plain sight looking like you belong there."
"Sneaking 101?"
"Got anything better to do?"
She fought the urge to move her arm. "You need to imagine I just flipped you the bird, okay? You know, since I can't move."
"Whatever makes you happy."
She twitched one of her ass cheeks fractionally, trying to get more comfortable without giving herself away. "This parcel shelf is really hard. Why can't we sit on the seats?"
"When's the last time you saw a doll sitting in the front seat of a car? Things like that make people pay attention."
"I'm not a doll."
"We know that. They don't. That's why this is the perfect surveillance gig."
"What if someone stole you and tried to shove their hand up your ass like a real puppet?"
"They could try," Ranger answered flatly.
"I can see the headline right now: Puppet comes to life and shoots man, the true story. Would that be enough for you to consider blowing our cover?"
"It would do."
"I haven't finally found something that the Mighty Manoso is afraid of?"
"I'm not afraid of anything," Ranger disputed. "If we encounter anything more inconvenient than the world finding out our secret, I'm prepared to blow our cover. That would qualify."
Stephanie fought back a snort. "Right. Not afraid. Just inconvenient. Got it."
A loud tapping on the window made them both freeze into perfect stillness. A little girl's face framed with curly blonde hair appeared against the glass of the rear window.
"Mommy, look! Muppets! And they move! I want them, please, can we get them? Can we go to the store and get them? Please? Mommy? Please?" Her voice sounded slightly muffled through the glass.
Another, larger face with the same color of blonde hair joined the child's face at the glass. "Let me see them, honey, and we'll think about it for your birthday." The mother took a closer look at Stephanie and Ranger where they sat immobile at the very back of the SUV, facing out of the window. "Good grief! No, sweetie, absolutely not. In fact someone should be in big trouble for selling toys like that. Tom, have you seen these?"
A third, bearded face appeared on the other side of the child and peered in through the glass at them.
The woman's voice continued. "Who on earth thought it was appropriate to sell a puppet complete with a gun belt? That can't be authorised merchandise. And look at the… attributes of the female one. It's downright obscene on a child's toy. I've a good mind to complain to the company. Can you see a label anywhere?"
The two adult faces leaned in close and joined the child's face where she had her nose pressed right up against the glass.
Stephanie fought the urge to shrink back and stayed absolutely, perfectly still.
"I can't see anything," the man said. "Come on, let's go. It's not our problem. I'll buy you a Kermit and a Miss Piggy instead, pumpkin. How about that?"
"But I want those ones!" The little girl's petulant wail faded away as the three faces receded and the woman drew the child along the sidewalk away from the car. "Mommy, it's not fair, I don't want a stupid Miss Piggy, I want the ones that move!"
"Don't be ridiculous, sweetie." The mother's voice was barely audible as the little family walked away. "They weren't moving, they were just ordinary toys. We can get you much better ones than that."
"But Mo-om…"
Stephanie and Ranger both relaxed as the area around the car was finally empty again.
"I have no words for how much I hate you right now," Stephanie said conversationally.
"Babe."
"That guy was looking at my boobs. I feel dirty. I swear he was trying to see if I had nipples or not."
"We all have," Ranger answered absently.
The car fell into absolute silence as Stephanie digested that comment.
"Oh. My. God. That is just… unbelievable. So you guys are all 'it's okay, Steph, we'll fix this, don't worry, Steph, it'll all be all right' on the surface, when the whole time you're all checking out my boobs trying to see if I've still got nipples?"
"I got changed too. I'm allowed."
"Don't hold your breath about being allowed anything until my ass isn't numb anymore. How unfair is that I'm made of felt and I'm still getting a numb ass?"
Stephanie stared out of the window. Again. Straight ahead. Again.
"How are you even going to alert the men if we see something?" she asked finally.
"Panic button between my knees. I can alert them any time we need without giving ourselves away."
"Good to know you've still got something between your legs."
"Low blow, Babe."
"Yeah well. I'm a woman on the edge."
"I noticed."
"I hope that they find something."
"Not as much as I do."