A merry christmas and a happy new year to all of you! Sorry about no updates, but its been busy, so two chaps are on it's way :D

Rose

Walking into the big church soft mumbles were filling the room. My eyes went to the ceiling, it was so far above my head, it was decorated with beautiful flower decorations and baskets.

Mason tugged me along behind my father and Oscar guiding us to our seats.

Sitting down between Mason and Papa I looked around. I saw many familiar faces, several men from the military celebration my papa had annually. My eyes fell on Sydney. She was sitting next to her parents but also a very familiar face. I couldn't remember his name but I knew he was one of the men she was dancing with during her ball.

My eyes fell on Meredith sitting on the same row. She was alone which surprised me. She was wearing a dark blue long sleeved gown. It was very simple and girly at the same time. She always dressed very typical princess like, it suited her.

I could suddenly see his back as he stopped in front of her. He was wearing a matching dark blue jacket with a black pant. His hair was in a ponytail. Before he got the time to turn around I moved my gaze away from him.

Sighing I started playing with my fingers.

"It's amazing to be here isn't it?" Papa smiled, "I remember Henrik as just a little boy and now he's getting married?"

"Time moves quick" I smiled.

"How did you know the price?" Mason asked curious.

"We use to play together a lot during meetings papa took me too. I haven't seen him for at least two years now but we are good friends" I smiled.

Music started and we all rouse. I could see Henrik stepping up by the altar next to the bishop. He looked happy and very proud. There was no doubt he was a very handsome man. He had a short but manly beard and a light brown shade of brown in his hair. It was all combed back, he was dressed with all his medals, a traditional black jacket and a light blue sachet across his chest with an emblem of his fathers face on.

The music changed and the doors opened at the back. She was a vision in white. She wore a short sleeved lace dress with a modest neckline. She was very beautiful. A classic blonde with a petite form.

I had met her once before very early on in their relationship. She was a little bubble of joy and I was very happy for them both.

The veil was covering her face but I could tell her smile was big and vibrant. She wore her hair up in a low bun and her fringe was complimenting her face.

Looking up at Henrik I smiled. He looked like the happiest man on earth. My smile grew but I couldn't help but feel sad. Clenching my hands into fists I bit my lower lip. The way he was looking at her and the way she was smiling I knew they had waited for this day for a very long time. Neither of them could love the other more nor wait another day to put a ring of each others finger.

It was something I wanted to badly my stomach dropped as I thought of it. I could feel tears build up in my eyes.

I could feel Mason lace his fingers through mine, "Are you ok?" He whispered.

Nodding I smiled his way, "It's just very beautiful" I said lowly, "I'm very happy for them" It was one of the quickest excuses I've ever come up with, but it made sense.

He smiled squeezing my hand before moving his gaze towards the couple, as she had reached the front.

Her name was Madeleine and she would soon be Princess Madeleine the first. The rest of the ceremony turned into a blur. It was very beautiful and moving. Lots of music incorporated.

Watching them leave the church they had a short carriage ride along the city to wave to the people as the guests moved to the palace to get settled for the wedding breakfast and then dancing.

As their carriage stopped outside the palace there was a crowd of us waiting to congratulate them. I was speaking to Oscar and Mason for a while. In the corner of my eye I could see Papa was talking to Henrik so I took this as my queue to join in. I brought Mason with me. Stopping behind him I tapped his shoulder, he stopped mid sentence and looked over his shoulder.

Only I did that, ever since the first time we met that was how I'd introduced myself. "Rose!" he exclaimed, a big grin lit his face as he moved his arms around my waist lifting me up and started spinning me around. I laughed as he did, "Put me down" I chuckled, "OK, ok, I've missed you too"

He laughed, "It's been too long, I'm so happy you could make it!" He had a slight accent which was only adorable.

"It has, how are you?" I smiled, "And congratulations, married man now huh? I never thought this day would come" I teased.

Papa laughed as he joined in, "She never changes does she?"

"She wouldn't be famous if it weren't for her wit and sense of humour" Henrik snickered, "Now introduce me to your fiancee" he said noticing Mason smiling behind me.

I moved to the side putting my hand around Henrik, "Mason this is Henrik, Henrik this is Mason" I smiled. They shook hands and Mason congratulated him.

"You must meet my wife" he grinned, "Oh I'm so happy I can call her that now" He grinned. I laughed at his excitement. He was looking around when suddenly Dimitri appeared in front of him, "I think your looking for this beautiful lady" He grinned as he escorted Madeleine on one of his arms.

"The one and only" Henrik grinned, "My wife" he said with light in his eyes. His eyes moved over to Dimitri, "I bet you can't wait to be me" He winked, "Finally call Meredith your wife"

His reply was a smile.

I felt awkward. Incredibly awkward. Licking my lips I felt Masons hand on my back, I met his gaze with a nervous eyes, "Should we go in?" I asked him. He nodded.

"Wait" Henrik said taking my hand. Stopping I turned against my will. Dimitri and Meredith were right there, standing close together arm in arm. "I know you've met Madeleine a long time ago but I wanted you to meet her again now that she's my wife" Henrik said excited.

I put on a brave face, ignoring Dimitri's presence. A smile grew on my face as I moved forward taking Madeleines hand in mine, "Congratulations, you look absolutely stunning!" I grinned, "One of the most beautiful brides I've ever seen"

She blushed, "We know that's not true"

"I don't lie" I winked, "You're very lucky" I said placing a hand on Henrik's shoulder, "You compliment each other so well and Henrik is one of the best men I've ever know" I said truthfully, "I know he will make you very happy"

"I know" She said looking at her prince. "Thank you" she said taking my hand. Her eyes were shining with happiness. It felt like a kick in the stomach seeing someone so happy. It made me incredibly jealous, it also made me feel horrible for what I was doing to Mason.

I knew Dimitri was looking at me. Luckily I felt strong enough to not meet his gaze. That didn't mean I wasn't tempted. His gaze were like a flame on my skin.

Mason moved forward to congratulate them again before moving a hand to my back starting to guide me inside. For a quick moment my eyes fell on Dimitri. His eyes instantly found mine. I gave him a quick nod before turning around as Mason guided me up the stairs. But I knew very well how his eyes were following me.

I haven't seen him for over a month now.

The way just his presence affected me was in incredible. It was hard to see him and I think my stomach will forever turn as I see him with her. But hopefully it will ease with time.

Hope, it was all I could do. Hope.

Dimitri

Sitting in the church, Meredith on my side my mama and sisters further down next to the Andrews.

The last month had gone by terribly slow, I had tried to keep busy and spend time with my family and friends after traveling a lot. But it was like time wouldn't move. I was now escorting Meredith to all up coming events. Mama had set a deadline for when it was time for us to always been seen in public. She was a big romantic but when it came to her job she took it very seriously and she always knew what to do.

As my mind wondered I let my eyes do to. So many people had traveled for Prince Henriks wedding, it really shouldn't surprise me. He was such a kind soul and likeable to anyone. I knew my eyes would find her sooner or later.

My jaw clenched. I hadn't seen her in over a month, it was like I'd forgotten how beautiful she was. How breathtaking she could be, how she always was and the power she had over me.

After the big argument during the October ball I had shut down completely. I still dreamt of seeing her screaming and shouting. One string of words never left my mind. It hadn't haunted me in a while but it came straight back.

It's like I die every time I see you, every time you kiss me you take another piece of me and crush it to fucking nothing! But seeing you in there ,seeing you with her, seeing you kiss her? It was like you just fucking pierced me with a knife watching me, smiling, while I turn into nothing!

The first week after it had been a chant that never would leave my mind. It was like she thought nothing could tare me apart, that whatever happened between us didn't influence me.

She didn't know how greatly she had been wrong.

The ceremony was like a blur as I guided Meredith out with Mama on my other arm. We were waiting outside the palace for the happy couple to arrive when I felt a tug of my Jacket.

"Is that Princess Rosemarie?" Mama's voice was like a slap. I knew she'd known something was wrong lately but she still hadn't confronted me, which I thank god for every day.

Looking her way I could see a vision in red, Oscar was standing with her and a red haired man that I knew was Mason. My eyes narrowed as I saw how close they were standing. I could feel jealously come over me and I knew I was glaring.

"It is" I said shortly.

"She looks absolutely beautiful" Mama said, "Ibrahim must be so proud, I haven't seen that girl since she was only a little girl and her mama was still with us, bless her"

I didn't utter a word. My eyes were fixed on Rose.

"She is engaged to that ginger haired man next to her"

My head snapped up as these news felt like a punch in the gut. "What?" I said with too much anger lacing my voice.

Mama shot me a side glaze with a small smile on her lips, "I heard it the other month"

I hadn't even noticed Henrik and Madeleine had arrived until Meredith was embracing Madeleine right in front of me. I pushed my thoughts aside and congratulated her. She was a very beautiful girl, classic look with a very bubbly personality. Her and Meredith got along greatly and they were already talking like best friends.

Hearing a very familiar laughter grabbed my attention and as I looked up I could see Henrik lift up Rose and spinning her around in the air. I'd missed her smile, even her laughter. I shouldn't miss anything about her, she is so far off my limits it's should be illegal.

I could hear Madeleine giggle, "He is so silly"

"Does he know her?" Meredith asked. I knew Meredith didn't like Rose, she had loved her at first but ever since she snapped at me as she said goodbye she never spoke of her again.

"Oh yes" Madeleine smiled, "They have been such good friends since they were little, I've only met her once, but she is the sweetest and funniest girl I've met"

"How about we escort you back to your husband" I said interfering before Meredith could say anything I didn't want to hear. "You must be happy to finally we married?" I asked smiling as I offered her my arm.

She grinned, "I've waited for so long, I'm so glad this day is finally here!"

"I'm so jealous" Meredith giggled.

I felt horrible as she spoke. I didn't believe that Meredith and I would ever have what Henrik and Madeleine had. Ever.

Meredith and I met for the first time a year ago during a ball. She had been very sweet and we had met several times after that and with time Mama asked and it was set. I only met Rose a few weeks later.

Henrik was looking around and I grinned saying, "You must be looking for this beautiful Lady"

The grin on Henriks smile was amazing. I was so happy to see him this happy, what they had was so true.

"I bet you can't wait to be me" Henriks words caught my attention. "To call Meredith your wife"

I had no power in me to say yes and laugh. I just gave him a great big smile. I already knew Rose was within ear shot and I already knew the damage I must have made. I could still feel a string of anger run through me after hearing the news on her engagement.

Rose was congratulating them as she was complimenting what they had. When she said Henrik was one of the best men she knew, it instantly made me question who else was within that category? Was I?

My eyes followed her as she was escorted inside my Mason. I could feel myself glaring at his back.

For a moment I knew that could have been me and that thought would haunt me for ever.

Rose

The wedding breakfast was long, too many speeches and courses. In the great big ball room Mason was busy with socialising, he was following in Oscars foot steps and he was doing greatly. I could tell papa was very proud.

I was on the edge of the dance floor. I had told them I was going to talk to some of the girls, it was only my excuse to be alone.

Fiddling with my mothers necklace I finished off my second glass of red wine. Ever since that night with the big fight, I had stopped putting water in my white wine. The strong the better. Red wine was my new saviour, I never got drunk, but a few glasses helped to distract my mind.

A footman brought me another one, I smiled taking a big sip. I had started when I'd seen Dimitri and Meredith on the dance floor together. They had disappeared and I really didn't want to know where they had gone. As Long as I didn't have to see it.

Closing my eyes exhaled slowly, will it always be like this? Wine will be my go to and at every event I will feel a stabbing pain in the stomach to see the man i love with someone else?

Shaking my head grimly I took another big sip.

"I thought you weren't a big drinker?"

His voice made my stomach jump a little. Those words instantly brought me back to our first ever conversation. When he had caught me pouring wine into my glass of white wine. He was standing right next to me, arms behind his back looking out over the dance floor. I felt a bitter smile paint my lips.

"People change" Was my only reply as I took another sip.

My eyes didn't listen to my brain as they looked side ways and I could see him clenching and un clenching his jaw. I didn't know if I was suppose to say something or to just keep quiet. His head turned my way meeting my gaze, "How are you?"

I wanted to say fine, I'm good! But I felt like if I opened my mouth I wouldn't know what would come out. I gave him a brief shrug. "You?" Was all I could master.

You know when you're about to cry? That lump you have in your throat and that burning feeling you have in your eyes. It was all coming to me.

Surprised to his silence I studied him as he was looking the other way, Instead he replied "I heard you're engaged"

My brows rose as I heard the bitterness lacing his voice. I looked down at my glass, seeing my ring. I nodded.

"Do you love him?"

My head snapped up as I could feel the tears rushing to my eyes. How dare he ask me that? I feel my stomach drop as I looked another way. The horrible thing was that he probably knew the answer. I shook my head no ever so briefly.

My eyes stayed focused on a window across the room, I wasn't ready to face him yet, the tears were too close.

"You shouldn't marry someone you don't love"

As the words left his lips I started shaking my head, anger hanging beneath my sadness. The sudden warmth of his hand gently on my wrist, "It's not fair"

His face was grim but I could see the sadness his eyes. I felt myself glaring at him, "Life isn't fair" I said under my breath, "You of all people taught me that"

"Rose I-" shaking my head I felt the tears pooling in my eyes.

"Don't" I whisper, "Just don't" I placed my hand on top of his. I was biting the inside of my cheek hard before I spoke again, "We cannot keep doing this, as much as I would love to, it tears me to pieces every time. She is a good girl" I hated every word that were leaving my lips, "Whatever we thought could be, never will"

I could see his eyes go empty as I spoke.

"It's like an endless chase where I'm never going to catch you. I'm the only one getting tired, I'm the only one getting hurt. I rather have a life with someone I know will distract me than being alone and feel like my heart is being ripped out every time I hear your name"

A frown painted his face as his grip around my wrist tightened as I took a step away. "Are you-?"

"I can't keep chasing you" I said my gaze never wavering from his, "I can only be hurt so many times Dimitri" A tear escaped running down my cheek. He reached out but I moved away before he got the chance to touch me. I brushed it away with the back of my hand. "I can dry my own tears" I whispered.

I could see him still holding his hand up, his jaw clenched as I could see he was having an internal fight. He started shaking his head and I back away.

"Rose" I could hear emotion lacing his voice.

"No" was all I said before I turned around and left the room. I knew I left more than Dimitri behind. Something far more important, something I knew I would never get back.

My heart.

? xxx