Happy New Year to you all! 3 chaps left before there will be a little break. There will be a sequel, not sure how many chapters it will be yet, but it shall come end of Jan or sometime in February :) Hope you all had a good one!

Dimitri

I remember seeing her walk away, slowly shaking her head while the word no fell of her lips, made an instant panic grow within my stomach. My heart still picked up instantly thinking about it and it felt like I was completely loosing grip of something I was addicted to.

"Are you-?"

"I can't keep chasing you" Her eyes were firm on mine, I could see determination but also pain. So much pain.

"You can only hurt me so many times Dimitri" Seeing the tear escape and run down her cheek made my finger tips ache to comfort her. Without thinking I lift my hand but before I get close she moves away. It just felt like she'd slapped me. The way she moved away, not giving me a chance to touch her made my stomach drop. I clenched my fist.

"I can dry my own tears"

Feeling my jaw clench It felt like I was being torn into pieces. She wouldn't even let me touch her, the sadness but also the anger and how tired she looked. It was like my heart and brain wasn't connected, I couldn't understand how I'd done this. When your brain keeps telling you to let her go, it's the best thing for her to move on. But my heart doesn't want to let go. I want to keep her, keep her all to myself, I didn't want to share.

As I noticed her taking slow steps back I feel panic growing within me. Starting to shake my head no, he name escapes my lips, "Rose"

No matter how hard I have tried to conceal my feelings, it laces her name. It's like I try to grasp whatever hold I have left.

All she says is "No" Her back turns to me and she walks towards the doors. It takes every bit of me to keep my hands to my sides. It takes every ounce of strength in my body not to run after her.

Jerking awake, I instantly sit up in bed. The sheets gather around my waist, I feel sweaty and cold at the same time. Exhaling slowly I run my fingers through my hair.

This was a routine that happened at least once each night. The same conversation were on replay, always waking up in the same state. Every time I replayed the conversation in my head I always see the determination in her eyes. It was something that still haunted me every time I closed my eyes.

The second I could see that she was bowing out, that was the second I wanted to give into her. I always wanted to give into her, but at that moment, when you feel like you're finally loosing your last grip. Why is it always then you feel like you've made your decision? That you've been wrong all this time, all these times I've rejected her and my feelings for her. All of a sudden it's the only thing my head and my heart wants. What I crave.

Throwing the sheets off me I got up opening the balcony doors the cold air consume me. Taking a deep breath I cross my arms over my chest, letting my gaze wander across the landscape.

No matter what I did or how busy I was the image and thought of Rose wouldn't leave my head. The distraction or work takes away my focus from everything I do. I can find myself in the middle of a meeting and my mind wanders, which leaves me in an awkward position when they ask for my opinion and all I can think of is how Rose is engaged to a man. A man who couldn't make her half as happy as I could! No matter how self absorbed it sounded it was the truth, I knew it was.

I groan as I find myself thinking about her again. I even think of her when I'm with Meredith. That's one of the reasons that kicks me even harder than knowing what pain I'd already caused Rose, what I was doing to Meredith was so incredibly unfair and wrong on so many levels.

I wish I could talk to mama about it but, I can't. I can't tell anyone.

"Dimitri?"

I blink and find the whole room looking at me. Mama, my sisters, Meredith and even my old Grandma Yeva was giving me a weird look.

"Excuse me?" I say not recalling a word of conversation what so ever.

We were having afternoon tea in the library, Meredith was always here these days working along side my sisters or Mama. I don't even know when my mind drifted from conversation but judging by their looks it wasn't the first topic I'd missed.

"What's wrong with you lately?" Sonya asked giving me a side glaze, "It's like your head isn't as sharp as Mr Perfectionists head usually is"

"You do seem very distracted" Karolina said looking concerned.

"Is it the meeting last week?" Meredith asked placing her hand on top of mine.

Blinking again I shake my head, "I'm just tired, I haven't gotten very good sleep lately"

"Still?"

All heads turn to Yeva with surprise on their faces.

"I didn't know you were loosing sleep? Are you sure you're ok?" Meredith squeezed my hand. I gave her a small smile, "I'm fine, just a lot on my mind"

I was surprised mama hadn't said a word yet. Looking over I was met by her gaze, all she did was sip on her tea. I could hear faintly how Sonya kept asking questions but my eyes never left mamas.

She places her cup down on the table again before she clears her throat, "I would like to have a word with Dimitri, alone"

My sisters exchange looks, heavy silence fill the room before they get up, "C'mon Meredith, we can go look over the plans for your next event" Karolina smile taking her hand and Viktoria taking her other. She sent me a small smile before she left with my sisters.

Staying in my seat as they left I stayed quiet as mama refilled our cups. Yeva was still sitting across from me, eyes never wavering from me.

I already knew what was coming, my mama was a clever woman and Yeva was on another level of creepiness, always knowing what was going on.

"I know you're mind has been going one hundred miles an hour lately" she didn't look up, she continued with her tea, "You zone out in the middle of meetings, you're temper is noticeably shorter than," she huffed a laugh, "Ever really"

Taking a silent deep breath my eyes were fixed on my mama.

She continued, "When it comes to wedding plans you let Meredith and your sisters do what ever they want" She was stirring her cup, still not looking at me, "Even when they wanted a hundred doves to be released as you leave he church you agreed" She tilted her head to the side slightly as she put her spoon down.

She turned her face towards me looking me straight in the eye, "Do you love Meredith?"

My brows rose, "Excuse me?" Was my sudden reply without thinking.

Her eyes narrowed slightly, "Do. You. Love Meredith?"

Suddenly getting out of me seat my eyes are hard on my mother, "What kind of question is that?"

"A rather simple one" she simple answered.

Huffing and crossing my arms over my chest I said, "Questioning my love and loyalty to my fiancee? The woman I proposed and take to all my events?" Sudden rage fill every inch of me.

Yeva picked up her cup looking over at Mama saying, "He never once mentioned anything about feelings"

"Is this what this is a about?" I said looking between the two women across from me, "You think I'm not loyal? You think I'm loosing it? Do you think I'm cheating?"

My grandmama raise a single brow towards me as I realise what I'd just said.

"Interesting choice of words my dear grandson" she said sipping on her tea while her eyes still on me.

"I mean- I" I feel the rage just growing, the way they both sit calm in their chairs judging me makes it even worse!

"This conversation is over and it never did do you hear me?" I said sternly glaring at the two women.

"It's just a simple question Dimitri" Mama said, "Do you love her?"

"I'm not listening to this!" I said turning my back to them, storming out from the room. Rushing towards the nearest bathroom and slam the door, locking it behind me.

Leaning over the sink I feel sick. Turning on the ice cold tap I splash water in my face. My hair band is keeping the hair out of my face. It's like my veins are burning but my skin is ice cold and sweaty.

Resting my hands on either side of the sink, I let the drops of water slowly run down my face and neck. Closing my eyes I try to control my breathing.

I already know they know.

I haven't gotten my sharp brain from nothing, those two women know more about people than they ever let on. My mamas poker face is one of the greatest. So many times I've tried to sneak something by her and I have never succeeded.

Using the word cheating blew my cover as well, I gave myself away. Being a Belikov and all it wasn't my brightest of moments.

Leaning away from the counter I removed the hairband, running my fingers through my hair.

Knowing there's nothing I can do escaping these two women I know I have to have the conversation with them. They will probably both kill me for what I've done, being the only man in a whole family of ladies, definitely put extra pressure on how you treat women.

Not that I have ever treated anyone badly, this would be a first.

Without realising I'm walking back towards the library were my mama and Yeva is still sitting like nothings happened.

Running my fingers through my hair once again I sigh as I take my seat. Not a word is uttered and silence is heavy. Gripping the sides of the chair I slowly start admitting to my defeat.

"I don't know how you two do it but there is never any way to hide from either of you"

Yeva looked very pleased with herself as I said that.

Biting the inside of my cheek I clench my fists before continuing, "So… you're both right, there-" Pressing my lips together. I feel like I'm eight years old admitting to stealing sweeties from the kitchen.

I got to stop being such a coward and just admit it. Hopefully they will just be happy with a confession. But who am I kidding, they're my family, they will want to know every juicy detail.

"There is someone else" I said not meeting any of their gazes. "But it's can't nor won't happen anything between us"

Feeling their heavy gaze on me, I have to meet their gaze at some point but it felt good trying to drag it out. Pursing my lips I place up expecting surprise and disappointment written on their face. I was met by the opposite.

Yeva looks please I finally confessed and mama is only studying me. Her head slightly tilted, like she's trying to figure something out.

Feeling impatient being met by silence my leg starts bouncing up and down. Sometimes silence is worse than being shouted at. Silence means disappointment and disappointment is so much worse than anger.

"Are you going to say anything?" I asked giving them both a weird look.

"Why can't anything happen?" Mama said lifting her cup to her lips. I frown, "That's what you want to know?" I said to my own surprise. She could've asked so many questions but that's what she decides to ask? Not who it is, how long this has been going on or just how fucking stupid I'm being. She asks why we can't be together.

"I have Meredith" I simply state trying to sound like I care more for her than I actually do. It should be the only and the best reason why not to be with Rose. It should be what matters the most, that I don't want to hurt Meredith. But it's not, I'm only trying to keep face in front of the judges I have in front of me.

"We all know that's not true" Yeva said seeing straight through my bullshit.

"Mama" My mother says shooting Yeva a look.

"You know he's lying Olena" she says shrugging. "Just tell her what really happened" She said looking at me.

"How is it that you think you know everything that goes on everywhere?" I asked shooting my grandmama a look.

The only response she gives me is a small mischievous smile, I guess I'll never know!

"Why is it you can't be together Dimitri? And cut the bullshit, I am your mother, I see straight through that"

Sighing I lean my head back. As if admitting wasn't hard enough, talking about it in detail really didn't help.

"I didn't realise, I mean I never meant for anything to happen. It just-" Biting my lip feeling myself drifting off, "It just did"

A lump type feeling hits me in the bottom of my stomach as I think of Rose bowing out.

"We met and ever since she kept appearing everywhere, it was like, like I couldn't escape her" my gaze wasn't fixed on anything, I was just speaking freely "She kept appearing and every time I got more and more attached and fond of everything about her. It's like she had me from the second I laid eyes on her"

Blinking I try to get the image of Rose in the dark blue gown out of my head. She looked so breath taking that night, she always looks amazing.

I knew I still hadn't answered the question and my mama wouldn't let me get away with it, "I never told her I was newly engaged. She found out yet she kept showing up" I felt cold thinking about it, "We kept seeing one another, I tried staying away from her but" clenching my fists I felt the lump grow, "I couldn't. No matter how much I kicked and reminded myself how I was engaged whenever she was there it was like I wasn't. It was like it was only her"

Looking down at my hands I like my lips, "But overtime I tried to push her away and I think I've finally done it"

A burning sensation appeared behind my eyes but I refused to let any tears escape.

Suddenly my mamas hand was on top of mine, my head snapped up meeting her gaze. Concern was written all over it, concern and worry.

"Who is she?" is all she asks.

"It's the Mazur girl" Yeva answers like it was obvious.

Both mamas and my head turns her way and I think I'm as surprised as she is. I think the look on my face was enough, I didn't have to ask her how, she just replied, "I know everything" she shrugged like it was nothing.

I grumble something under my breath as my mama turns towards me, "Mazur? Ibrahim's daughter?"

Nodding cautiously I study her face. She looks a little stunned, I'm not sure if it's because of her son being disloyal or that I've Europe's most powerful monarch.

"Ibrahim will kill you" Yeva said putting her cup down.

"Mama!" My mother hisses. I shake my head burying it my hands. I think he would if he could. Ibrahim had been almost too kind to me lately, I knew he had an idea of what was going on, I just couldn't figure out if he was going to kill me himself or have someone do his business for him…

Mama caught my attention "When did this happen?"

"At the annual ball Ibrahim held in the spring"

"Does she have the same feelings for you?"

Narrowing my eyes I couldn't wait to ask, "Why are you not angry with me? Why are you not ripping me into pieces? Shout and tell me how disrespectful I'm being?"

Sighing my mama gave me a small smile, "I don't agree with what you've done, not at all, and I do think you need to talk to Meredith about this" I grimace as she said that. "However" she continued. "The look on your face when you were talking about her is the same your sisters had when they met their match" taking my hand in hers again she squeezed it, "How can I be angry when i know my son as find something so rare and incredible with someone?"

I felt awful yet happy at the same time. "I want to be loyal, I want to be everything for someone. But I know Rose will never look at me the same way again after what happened" I said feeling the lump return to my stomach. "I would take everything back, I would redo every moment if I could"

"But you can't" Mama finished of my sentence. I nodded sadly. "Have you told her this? How you feel?"

"She's engaged to someone now" I stated. You could hear the venom lace my voice. The thought always angered me, no matter how much in the wrong I had been, I never wanted to see her with anyone else.

"And that's stopping you?"

My head snapped up as Yeva's statement caught me off guard. I frowned, "She's made her decision, I can't force myself on her" I said feeling a bit enraged about what she'd said.

"Maybe you don't love her as much as you say you do" the daring look she gave me made me glare at her in return.

"Are you doubting me?"

Shaking her head she smiled, "No my dear, but another man shouldn't stop you. She might be with someone else but does she love him? Does she even have half the emotion she has for you?"

I got on the edge of my seat "How do you know anything about this?"

"I saw the way you were looking at her at Henrik's wedding" she stated simply, "Also how she walked away from you on the dance floor"

A grim look painted my face as the memory flashed in mind.

"You should tell her"

Now mama's statement caught me off guard. "Is everyone in the family loosing it?" I asked looking between the two.

"Why would you marry someone you don't love?" Yeva asked raising a brow my way.

"It's not that simple" I said eyeing her, resting my elbows on my knees.

"If you didn't know about her feelings and you were about to get married, wouldn't you want to know before instead of finding out long after?"

I shook my head slowly as mama continued, "You need to talk to Rose but before that you need to talk to Meredith. I don't want you to marry a girl just for the sake of it. She deserves much better than that"

It felt like a hit in the stomach when she said that, but I knew she was right.

"I know" I breathed letting my head drop, resting against my chest. "I know she deserves better, someone who is fully devoted to her" Looking up I met my mamas gaze, "I'm not sure I can be that for her though"

She nodded, "They you have to tell her that"

Biting my lower lip I instantly dreaded this. Mama and Yeva got out of their chairs as if they had a silent agreement to leave.

"We will always be here for you" She said squeezing my shoulder. "Good luck"

I smiled a thank you and as they left I took a deep breath leaving back in the chair. I was happy this was over, it didn't at all turn out in any way I thought it would. Now there's only one conversation left to have and I'm not sure how it's going to end…

A bit more D POV finally, what do you think? I have heard a few of your thoughts, always interesting to hear the way your mind works and how you think it will all go down. We shall see who is right!

Hope you had a good New Years Eve and lets hope 2016 is amazing!

xxx