Longest chapter so far I think?
Enjoy! ;)
R POV
"All stay over guests have arrived and soon the guests for the evening will start to arrive after Seven. Do you have everything you need?"
Smiling towards Papa I nodded, "Yes Thank you"
The grin on his face had been permanent since a week back. I hadn't seen him this excited in months to be very honest. I know I had put a damp on his mood for a while, while I was in the middle of, well Dimitri. Ever since I told him I would give Mason a chance it was like he found that happiness again.
"I'm so happy my little girl is finally getting married"
He gave me a tight hug before he headed for the door, "I can't wait to see you in your dress and everything. I bet you'll have me regretting giving you free hands with the dress choice"
He was probably thinking about all the times I've worn daring dresses that made his drink go down the wrong pipe.
Smiling I said, "It's very tradditional, so don't expect too much"
"One thing I do know, is that you will look beautiful" That's all he said before he left. Sighing I sat down waiting for Tasha to come in and start on my hair.
Sometimes I wasn't sure if he was pretending to be happy, hoping it would make me happy and make me want to try harder. I knew Oscar saw straight through whatever I told him, but I think he was pretending for my papa's sake. To keep him sane or just for his own sake.
I've lost track of both of them lately. We use to be so tight, I know it's nobody but my own fault, I'm not placing any blames. I never realised how much feelings for someone can fuck you up.
I feel so incredibly fucked, to the breach of insanity. I don't know where my old self went, but overtime Tasha asks me where her Rose went I ask myself the exact same question.
Tonight is the pre wedding dinner. All guests are invited, it's a tradition and a way for us to get to spend more time with our guests who have traveled long and far for this event.
Tasha was working on my simple make up that Mason had advised. He had planned this party all by himself, with no help from my father nor Oscar. He had been quite strict with what I can wear, he even chose jewellery! Tasha wasn't happy all she got to choose was my hair style. She asked for my opinion but I didn't want to take away the only space she would have for this event, so I gave her free hands, and boy did she deliver.
"It's-" Biting my lip I almost felt a little teary eyed. "It's amazing Tasha"
For the first time in a while she had a genuine smile on her lips.
She had give the back a lot of volume, soft big curls fell down, a few strands were pinned back. It was so flawless and worked so well with the eyeliner and red lip that Mason had chosen. It doesn't sound like much, but I felt so beautiful. Sad as it sounds I had sort of stopped making as much of an effort anymore, but I truly felt more like my old self for a minute.
"I'm glad to see a smile that reaches your eyes" She said meeting my gaze in the mirror, "That's what I live by these days"
Turning in my chair I take her hand in mine. "I will get better, you will get me back, I'm just" sighing as my shoulders drop, "I'm so, so sorry I've been such a horrble friend lately"
"Rose-"
"No, let me finish" I say before she can say anything, "I may have the worst excuse, but I am sorry. Nobody has been better to me than you through the years. I love you like a sister, I'm just sorry what I've put you through these last few month"
Squeezing my hand she smiled, "All I want is for you to be happy, truly happy and to be honest I don't care how that happens. I just want you to return to who you were because I know you miss that person just as much as I do"
Nodding I held back tears. Looking down I pressed my lips togehter, it hurt every time she said that. It hurt so much because it was true.
"Let's get you into the dress before you ruin your make up"
I let out a stale chuckle as I got up following her. Helping me into my dress, she made sure it sat perfectly before she got the jewellery.
Lately I have let Mason decide a lot of things, but his choice of accessoaries tonight annoyed me slightly, just like the engagement ring was quite cheesey.
Wearing a red dress and a red lip was quite a lot of red. My engagement ring had a big ruby in the centre and now I was wearing a matic necklace and small ruby studs. Tasha put a yellow gold bracelet on my wrist before she stepped back to let me inspect.
Biting the inside of my cheek I just wanted to take it all off. Moving my gaze to meet Tasha's in the mirror I could tell she felt the same.
"So?" was all she said.
"It's" stopping, I felt a sudden feeling to laugh at the whole thing. I had told Tasha so many times lately how the dress is fine and everything is good. But I couldn't hold it in anymore, "It could get more red than this" I said simple staring at myself in the mirror.
Meeting her gaze again she busted out laughing and I joined in very quickly. Still laughing I checked so my make up hadn't been messed up.
"You sure you don't have any red shoes with this?" I asked Tasha looking at her with a ludicrous look.
She stopped suddenly, "Actually..."
"Oh my god!" I said burying my face in my hands. She laughed and as I opened my eyes she held up a pair of strapy red heels.
"Wow" was all I said sighing shaking my head in disbelief.
"It's quite funny" she said grinning.
"I'm glad one of us is enjoying this" I said sending her a look with made her snicker.
"I'm just happy we're able to laugh about this" she smiled bending down so I could step into the shoes. "You do look good Rose, don't get me wrong, but you know I would've done this differently"
"Very differently" I corrected. Sighing I shrugged, there's not a lot we can do.
A rapid knock came from the hall and Tasha gave me a smile before she went to get the door. I knew that would be Mason.
"Is she ready?" I heard him say from the hall, turning towards the door I put on a smile as I knew he would appear any second.
"Wow" he grinned as Tasha showed him in. "Rose you- you take my breath away" Smiling I walked towards him, taking his hand he held out to me. "Do you like the dress?" he asked excited.
"It's beautiful, it matches the ring" I smiled holding up my engagement ring. I could hear Tasha holding back laughter, luckily Mason didn't notice.
"That was my thought, plus you look so amazing in Red, you always look gorgeous but red is your colour"
My only reply was a smile, I gave Tasha a smile as a thank you for helping me get ready. "Shall we go?" I met Masons gaze. He grinned and guided me down the hall. We had practiced the entrance earlier today. Papa will go in first as all guests have arrived. Oscar would already be in there to take care of the guests and then they would present Mason and me.
"You have really out done yourself" I smiled as we walked down the stairs. The Halls were already decorated for our big day tomorrow.
"Thank you, I have learned so much from your father, but I did it all for you" He said proudly. I know that should make me feel so special and loved, but all I felt was light headed and almost wanting to throw up. He was so good and kind, I didn't deserve him. Not one bit.
"Are you ready my dear?"
I hadn't even noticed we had reached the big doors into the ballroom until I heard Masons voice. My head was still spinning slightly, I took a deep breath before meeting his gaze and smiled a yes.
"No need to be nervous, I'm here" He said reassuringly squeezing my hand that rested on his arm. The signal went off and the doors opened,
"Let me introduce to you, Princess Rosemarie and her Fiancé Mason Ashford"
The crowd was clapping and smiling as we walked in. I plastered a smile on my lips, meeting peoples gaze, pretending to be my old self being the perfect host. Always knowing how to work a room.
We were greeted by my father who kissed my cheek and shook Masons hand. We walked out onto the dance floor sharing the first dance. I had a soft smile on my lips as I let Mason spin me around on the dance floor. He wasn't a very confident dancer, we had practiced a lot during these last couple of weeks. I knew he felt bad but I had reassured him many times that he was fine and he had nothing to worry about.
For some stupid reason all I could think of was how Dimitri had gracefully spun me around in this exact room. How he'd made me forget about time and space, stuck in a bubble were I once had thought we were invincible, that we would last.
As we were spinning around I could see so many faces that I didn't recognise, papa must've invited everyone from every kingdom in Europe. I have met many but not all. I already knew there would be a painfully long introduction as soon as we were finished.
The song finished and I curtsied before we walked back meeting papa and Oscar on the side of the dance floor. The dance floor filled with couples and the music continued.
Papa, Mason and Oscar were already talking to some couples who had made their way over. Everyone congratulated us, wished us well and couldn't wait to see me in my dress tomorrow, I was going to be the peak of the day apparently.
I could spot Daniel Romanov shooting Mason glares, he was the Romanian guy who had long longed for my company. One perk being married would be getting rid of all the suitors I guess.
I could feel a hand on my arm which woke me up from my thoughts.
"Rosemarie, I don't think you have met Olena Belikov, Dimitri's mother"
Hearing his name made my stomach jump slightly. My gaze instantly moved around expecting to see Dimitri by her side, I was surprised to only see three girls. I put on a smile taking her hand, "It's lovely to finally meet you, I have met your son on several Occasions, he is a very," I paused for a second feeling a lump grow in my stomach as I was speaking about it, "A very amazing man"
A grin painted her face, "I am very proud of my son and I'm glad that your father has treated him so well every time he has come to visit. I must say it is my pleasure to finally meet you, I have heard so many great things of you" Pure kindness were shining in her eyes. I couldn't help to think if Dimitri was the one talking about me or if it was someone else.
"You're beauty is truly astounding Rosemarie, really, you must've had to keep a close eye on this one" she chuckled looking over towards my father who laughed with her, "She has always had both me and Oscar on the tip of our toes"
"And now she is to be married" I couldn't help but noticing something flashing in her eyes. i didn't know what it was, but something didn't seem right.
"This is Mason Ashford" Papa said holding a hand on Masons shoulder proudly.
"It's a pleasure to meet you" Masons said kissing her hand giving her a perfect grin. Olena laughed, "I see why you chose this one" She winked my way. There was still something in her eyes every time she spoke to me. I still couldn't put my finger on it.
"Let me introduce my daughters" Olena said still meeting my gaze, "This is My oldest, Karolina, Sonya and my baby Viktoria"
They all grinned saying "Hello" for some reason I couldn't help but return the smile, it was so infectious, shaking my head quickly, Dimitri's face was flashing before my eyes.
"Um, please" I said, "Call me Rose"
They all grinned in response, "We shan't keep you, hope to speak to you soon Rose" Olena smiled touching my arm before they moved along. My gaze followed them before my eyes found Oscars who were right next to me.
I didn't think before the words left my tongue, "Where is Dimitri?"
I knew Oscar met papas gaze over my shoulder before he met mine again, "He is here somewhere, he arrived alone right before your papa walked in"
A frown grew on my face. I didn't see Meredith along with Olena and his sisters, maybe she was somewhere here as well?
Giving Oscar a smile before I looked away I touched Masons shoulder, "I need a drink, can I get you anything" I smiled.
"I'm good thank you dear" he smiled, "Don't be too long, there is plenty of people left to talk to"
I frowned slightly as he said that. I thought that this whole event was going to be about us, Mason had never been a guy for working a big room and being centre of attention. Maybe something had changed as he and papa had been working together.
Shaking my thoughts out of my head I walked over to the nearest waiter picking up a glass of red wine taking a big sip. The red liquid smoothly eased down my throat and I felt slightly more relaxed.
"Pre wedding jitters?"
Turning around as I heard Olena's voice I almost spilled wine on my dress. For some strange reason I felt very calm around here, must have been her being family with Dimitri maybe?
"I guess so" I answered nervously feeling off beat.
She gave me a warm smile, "I remember when I was getting married, I had only known my late husband for little over a month, it was a different time back then, I threw up on several occasions" she chuckled taking a glass of wine grinning as she took a sip.
"So What I'm feeling is normal?" I asked. It was almost like talking to my mother, she had such presence I didn't think before I spoke.
"Oh god yes, you seem awfully calm to be very honest"
"I'm freaking out on the inside" I said moving a few strands behind my ear
"Well you don't look it, you do look absolutely stunning thought, my son said you were very beautiful"
"Did he?" I got butterflies, hating that I did, I couldn't stop myself from feeling as I did.
She studied me for a moment before she said, "He did, on several occasions. I saw you the first time at Prince Henrik's wedding in Stockholm, but I never got the chance to introduce myself"
"I'm very pleased I finally got a chance to meet you now" I was being very genuine, I had always been very curious about his family, not having seen any of them before. I finally had faces to all the names.
"I need to go find my daughters, I shall see you tomorrow at the ceremony" She said suddenly. Taken aback by her sudden departure, my eyes followed her as she made her way through the crowd.
Strange, she just left very suddenly. Taking another sip on my wine I was thinking about finding Mason again when I felt a warm familiar had on my waist. My eyes went wide as I felt his lips close to my ear, "I need to borrow you"
Squeezing the glass tighter in my glass I felt frozen in place. A warm feeling came all over me, it was like is mere presence brought like a warm blanket over me. "Meet me out in the hall behind the grand staircase in a few minutes"
His lips left my ear and so did the warm feeling all over, spinning around he was gone. Blinking several times I looked left and right but Dimitri was no where to be seen.
"Rose are you ok?" Oscars voice made me jump. Looking over my shoulder I was sightly out of breath still wondering if what I just heard was a dream or even a nightmare.
Nodding I swallowed, still looking around searching for him in the crowd.
"Are you sure?" Oscars hands were on my shoulders and his eyes were shining with worry.
Giving him a small smile I nodded, "Yes, I just thought I saw someone"
He studied me for a moment, "You're not going to do anything stupid tonight are you?"
Frowning at him, I was surprised at what he just said, "No, why would you say that?"
His eyes left mine, looking over my shoulder before he met mine. He sighed heavily shaking his head, "I don't know, I think I'm being paranoid since it's your last night before the big day"
My frown deepened as I didn't understand what he meant. He then departed suddenly again which I found as strange as Olena's sudden departure.
Looking over my shoulder I couldn't see anything suspicious, looking down at my glass, I took a deep breath before emptying it. Needing to find out if I was dreaming or not I looked around before I excited the ballroom. No one saw me.
The hall was empty and seemed dark compared to the well lit ballroom. Looking both ways down the hall before steering in the right direction. It was so empty and calm out here. I kept looking over my shoulder expecting someone to follow me, but every time I was wrong.
An uneasy feeling had come over me ever since i'd stepped outside the ballroom. I was getting close to were his voice had told me he'd be. There was a small spot behind the grand staircase were I'd hidden many times as a child, how he knew about it was above me. Getting close I slowed down, feeling like I needed to keep my guard up. Slowly easing around the corner I could see him instantly.
He had his back towards me, he was dressed in black head to toe, his hair out. From what I could see he had a ridged stance and I could tell he was tense. Stopping I was just looking at him, it felt so strange to be this close to him after all this time.
"I was thinking you wouldn't come"
His voice was rough, like he was tired or his voice was hoarse. I narrowed my eyes, my gaze never leaving his back.
Slowly, he turned around, I could feel my heart pick up as our eyes met. His gaze held so much fire and emotion I felt warm all over, yet I couldn't felt numb and couldn't feel my finger tips.
"You can't marry him tomorrow"
I felt taken aback and almost a little angry at his sudden statement, "E-excuse me?" I said feeling a frown paint my face.
His eyes were hard on me, it felt so very intimate and at the same time I felt angry. "I can't let you Marry Mason tomorrow"
"You can't let me?" I said feeling like he wasn't giving his permission for me to marry him. "I'm sorry but how does your opinion matter in whom I marry?"
I had long imagined how my next meeting with Dimitri would be like, I never expected to feel angry. Sad, hurt and numb was some of the feelings, but never angry.
He came closer, "You don't love him" The power and emotion in his voice was incredible. It was like a hit in the stomach that made you loose your breath.
I was shaking my head feeling a loss for words, he took a few steps closer, "We both know you don't feel anything for him like you do for me. What we have is nowhere close to whatever you have with him. I can't let you marry him Rose I just can't-"
He was taking me hands in his as he spoke but I moved away, feeling like his touch had burned me. Tear were stinging my eyes and a thick feeling was filling my throat.
"You've had all this time to have me and the night before my wedding you decide to not give your blessing for me to marry someone else?" Anger were lacing my voice, what he had told me made me feel like this whole situation was ludicrous. Was I dreaming?
"How can you even think of marrying someone you don't love?" He asked, his voice was intense and I could hear anger in his voice too.
"Just like you love Meredith?" I snapped, I was gobsmacked. "You've had weeks, months to win me over Dimitri. I've fallen for every trick, every scheme in your book. Why is it that when you can't have me you realise that you do?" My breathing was picking up, my heart was pounding in my chest.
The anger was spreading to my fingers tips and I ran my fingers through my hair, "Hell you can't even be with me cause you were fucking engaged before I was!" I said accusingly.
"I never intended for this to-"
"But you could've stopped it!" I said feeling panic enter my voice, "You've had so long Dimitri, so long to make a decision and you do this now?" What would me father say if he knew about this? Panic was growing within me.
His hands grazed my shoulders, "Rose I-"
"You're with her" I said looking him straight in the eye, feeling tears piercing my eyes, "You're already with her, what's your plan? To have me miserable for the rest of my life?" My voice was slowly rising in volume. "Why can't you for once just let me have peace-"
"I've left her!" His voice rung through the halls, echoing, bouncing off the walls.
It was like my heart had stopped. I was just staring at him. His eyes were intense on mine.
"I couldn't do this to you, to myself. Hell i couldn't even do that to her. I left Meredith for you"
I was still staring blankly at him. It was like I was at a loss for words.
The features on his face went from intense to worry. "Rose?" He was lightly shaking my shoulders. Shaking my head I slowly came back from my haze.
Shaking my head still I felt my heart beat still rising, "You-Yo-"
He nods confirming what he just said.
"I-I-I" I was stuttering. I couldn't get a single word out. It felt like my heart was racing and at the same time it wasn't beating fast enough cause I was starting to feel light headed.
"I know I have left it late, but I love you. I love you Rose, I have never ever felt like this before, for anyone and I can't just let that slip through my fingers"
Tears were stinging in my eyes and I felt a cold feeling run over me. Biting my lower lip I sniffled suddenly.
His hands moved up to my face drying away tears I didn't even notice had fallen "Rose I-"
Interrupting him I spoke when the words suddenly found me, "I waited so, so long to hear those words. To hear them from you" Another tear fell, "But you can't bare to say them to me until you've already realised that you've lost me"
I could see the small smile that had entered his lips were fading.
"You had so many chances, so many times that I threw myself at you, but you never ever told me nor confirmed that you felt what I felt. But you can now?" The anger was coming back and the tears were running freely.
"Do you know how many nights I've cried over you?" I moved his hands away from me. "How much heart ache and pain you've cause me?" I sobbed trying to dry my tears away at the same time, "And now you just expect me to throw myself at you when you finally realised how you feel for me?"
Looking away from him I started to shake my head as he took my hands in his again, I was fighting him but his group tightened, "I know I have been incredibly foolish and stupid towards you and I can't even being to say how sorry I am for how I've treated you. I didn't know how or what I was doing. I couldn't just leave her-"
"And you expect me to just leave Mason?" I said staring at him.
His eyes turned to stone for a moment. I could see him swallow hard, his eyes burning on me. Licking his lips he squeezed my hands.
"No matter what i've done, you know, we both know we're right for one another. I can't event count how many times I hurt for you, you know that I will do everything I can to make it up to you! I will not rest I will not sleep until you know that I love you with every cell, every ounce of my being"
Feeling my lower lip tremble as the tears were spilling over, I shook my head. "I can't do this Dimitri-"
"Don't say that" I could hear the emotion in his voice, "You love me, just say it" desperation built up in his voice, "I need to hear you say it"
Slowly sliding my hands out of his I slowly shook my head as tears were streaming down my face.
"Rose" I could hear his voice break as he uttered my name.
"I'm sorry" I whispered.
"No Rose you can't just- ROSE!"
I couldn't hear another word he had to say. I ran. I ran as fast and hard as I could. Grabbing a hold of the railing by the staircase I hurried up the stairs. I haven't cried this hard in a long time, I could barely see the ground my feet were pounding against.
A figured appeared leaving my room and I instantly knew it was Tasha.
"Tasha!" I cried out.
She turned and I threw myself in her arms, she managed to catch me. I knew panic was instantly coming over her. But it was like she knew what needed to be done. She took my into my room, helped me onto my bed and just let me cry in her arms.
Not a word left her mouth, she just hugged me and stroked my back as I was crying over the love of my life. It was never ending, like I didn't know how to stop the horrible feeling the was all over me.
I cried, and cried, and cried.
Not knowing how I was going to survive tomorrow, not knowing how to face Dimitri ever again. I didn't know anything. All I knew was that I had never ever felt such pain as I was in right now.
And that Dimitri Belikov was going to be the death of what ever feeling I had left.
Funny as it sounds I was shedding a few tears while I wrote this...
What do you think? Who's side are you on? Did she make the right decision? Is he too late?
Let me know xxx