Chapter Forty Eight: Love All Over Again

After settling me in at Figg Manor, we all returned to Hogwarts.

Dumbledore smiled at me as I landed face-first on the deep red carpet of his office.

"Hello my dear. How was your trip?" He asked with a twinkle in his eye.

I smiled softly back. "It was great Professor, thank you."

He pushed his little dish of sherbet lemons towards me, motioning that I should take one.

I sat in the chair next to his desk, took a sweet and waited patiently for my friends to arrive.

First through the fire was Cassie, with Remus close behind. James came next, then Belle, then, last but by no means least, Sirius.

"Did everything go according to plan?" Dumbledore asked as he raised his wand to conjure extra chairs. The three he had in there proved enough however.

Remus pulled Cassie onto his chair, but she perched on the arm so he had room to sit. Sirius and Belle were a lot less subtle and Sirius yanked Bella onto his lap. James was left standing, so I stood up to let him sit down. When he was perfectly comfortable, I sat primly on his knees.

"Yes Professor." Cass, Bella and I intoned respectfully.

The guys just grinned goofily.

I rolled my eyes good-naturedly and leant back into James' arms. Cassie widened her eyes and frowned deeply at me, before turning to Dumbledore and smiling softly.

"Professor, perhaps we may retire? We're all very tired, what with the move and everything." She asked, turning her face innocently up to his.

Dumbledore smiled. "Of course my dear. Off you go." He ushered us to the door and closed it with a snap behind us.

Once outside, Cassie grabbed my arm tightly. I yelped slightly in reply to her stern frown.

"Can I speak to you privately Lil? It's very important." She hissed.

I could only nod in reply.

She dragged me around the corner and away from the guys and Belle.

I wrenched my arm out of her grip and stood rubbing it as she glared at me.

"What are you doing Lily?!" She began furiously. I opened my mouth to reply, but she ploughed on regardless. "You're toying with him! He fancies you rotten and he may even love you and you're messing with his head! You should be ashamed!"

I opened and closed my mouth in a fairly good imitation of a goldfish starved of water. "I am not toying with him! I just sat on his knee because there were no more chairs!" My voice rose shrilly with every word I spoke.

Cass just glared. "You were leaning on him. As in intimately leaning. How you can stand there and say you did nothing wrong is astounding! You've changed Lily. And not for the better."

I had had enough. I spun on my heel and ran away. I had no idea where I was running to, but I eventually ended up out by the lake. I watched the Giant Squid scud across the surface of the water and then dive into the gloomy depths.

Where had I gone wrong? Cassandra and Arabella were the only family I had left and I hated arguing with them, even before…

I heard footsteps behind me and tried to curl up as small as possible, hugging my knees to my chest and burying my head in my arms.

"Lily?" A male voice asked hesitantly.

"What?" I replied despondently. I didn't want another lecture.

Sirius plopped next to me and laid his head on top of mine, bringing me closer for a hug. "Cassie's in tears you know." He said.

"I've had my fill of tears and tantrums and fights. I just want to sleep forever, to not have all the problems life brings." I sighed, my shoulders sagging with fatigue. I hadn't slept properly since that night. I had dreams about her and Voldemort and what he did to her.

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Why do you think James has scars across his wrists? Because the last time you turned him down, he was so depressed he tried to end it all. But we pulled him back and told him you do love him, just not in the way he wants you to. That's why he lives as if every moment could be his last. Because he's almost had his last moment, and he doesn't want the same one again." Sirius smiled sadly as I rubbed my eyes and tried to take it in.

He tried to kill himself, over me. What a bitch I was.

"I'm a horrid person." I whispered and took off to find James. After running through all the hallways and hunting in all the classrooms, I found him in the Astronomy Tower, just staring into space.

I pounced on him and hugged him tightly, afraid that if I let go, he would disappear. Then I yanked his hands forward and stared at the thin white scars there, sprawling across his tanned skin and marring them forever.

He tried to pull away and recoiled when I placed a gentle finger over them and began to follow the lines with the pad of my index finger.

"I'm sorry." I croaked, tears spilling down my cheeks.

He tilted my chin up and kissed away my tears softly. Then he leant forward and I knew I should stop him, but it felt so right.

My head screamed at me to push him away, to not do this all again and get hurt, but my heart just felt warm and I was happy.

He kissed me gently and I returned the kiss fervently. His hand cupped my head, whilst his other slipped around my waist and pulled me closer to him. My arms wound themselves around his neck and I snuggled into his embrace.

It was inexplicably breathtaking and I felt my fingers play with the ebony hair at the neck of his neck, whilst his fingers ran the length of my auburn tresses.

It was love all over again.

But this time, I wanted it.

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Hey chix!!!!

How are you all?

Sorry it took me soooooooooo long to update, but have been spending loads of time with my horse. I got a clear round on her!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That means I did a course of jumps and didn't knock any, so I got a rosette!!!

Her name's Rio, if any of you are interested, which I doubt you are.

Anyway, read and review!!!!!

Lots of love

M

xxxxx