Shadowed Past: Visions of Affliction
Chapter 6: Curiosity Can Kill the Wounded
The term Seidr continued to plaque my mind all through the evening.
I kept staring at the pages, feeling the connection without actually being able to connect it.
I had read almost 20 pages about Seidr so far, and the only new thing I'd been informed of was Norns.
I'd learned about 3 main things:
1. Norns are considered the foremost masters of Seidr, and the term was Norse for witch.
2. Seidr was a form of magic used to change destiny's web.
3. Seidr rituals were conducted 'for divination and clairvoyance, for seeking out the hidden. Both in the secrets of and in physical locations, for healing the sick, for bringing good luck, controlling the weather, and for calling game animals and fish.' It would also be used for the bad. Cursing someone or something, to cause illness and despair, to tell false futures and send people winding into madness and despair, and to injure, maim, and slaughter.
And I still how no idea how this related to my problem, but I could just feel it.
My eyes continued scanning the page for new information until they landed on two names I'd heard once too many times before.
"Two of the Aesir and Vanir deities are noted masters of Seidr: the goddess Freya and the god Odin."
Frigga and Odin? Thor's parents? This was going to be fun.
"How's researching going?" Steve asked as he walked by me for what seemed like the hundredth time. He'd been picking up the books that Piper basically bailed on helping put away and I'd been reading quietly to myself.
"I don't know," I groaned, "this is all too weird! I have no idea how any of this is related to me and my freakish nightmares!"
"Are you sure it even is?"
"Yes, I am. I don't get feelings like this just because. Something is up with this old Norse junk and his has something to do with me. I just have to figure out what."
"Don't you want some rest?"
"You don't believe me, do you?" I sighed, holding my head in my hands.
"Of course I believe you, hon." Steve said, sitting down next to me and wrapping his arm around my back, pulling me into a cuddle. "I'm just worried about you. You've spent the past two days doing nothing but reading old textbooks."
"Because I need to find an answer before things get worse..." I groaned, leaning into his embrace for more comfort.
"What's this 'I' talk? Piper and I are helping you."
"I know, just sometimes it feels like it's me against the world and I get so stressed...even when I know I'm not alone."
Steve exhaled, kissing my head softly. "You worry too much." He muttered. "And I'll always be right here by your side. I promise."
"I believe you, and I'm beyond thankful that you're by my side. I'm sorry if I'm being a nuisance." I sighed.
"You're not being a nuisance, Alex..." Steve breathed, sounding hurt.
"Sometimes I can't help but feel that way. Every single time that there's some crazy mystery or adventure it's because I'm in danger again."
"And that's okay. It's not your fault, it's not anybody's fault."
"I know, I know." I felt a yawn overtake my being, and covered my mouth as it did.
"I think it's time for bed, book worm."
"But I need to keep reading..." I muttered as Steve picked up me up in his arms. "I have to figure out what this has to do with Thor..."
"Shh, just get some rest."
Steve put me in bed and pulled the covers up over me. After my body had notably relaxed into the mattress Steve began picking up the mess of books that scattered the floor.
He made sure he marked every page that had been left open with a sticky note or something so his wife's work wouldn't be put to waste.
The battle against Ultron had officially began, and everything seemed to be falling apart at the seams.
I'd learned that the guy and girl we'd crossed paths with inside the enemy base in the snowy woods were known as The Maximoff twins, Wanda and Pietro, The Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver. Magento's kids, and half-brother/sister of Polaris. These two were trouble.
"He's fast, and she's weird." As Agent Hill would say.
The team and I were riding in a jet on our way two hunt down the duo along with a walking and talking Ultron, and I wasn't exactly eager to see them again. I was struggling to keep my eyes open from lack of sleep. My eyelids were felt like they weighed a ton, constantly trying to shut my eyes to darkness yet fluttering back open. Dark circles had formed underneath my eyes on the pale skin of my face. I looked like I'd been risen from the dead to walk the Earth again. My finger tips were practically numb from remaining cold almost 24/7, and my stomach was twisted into tight knots from turbulence.
I was miserable.
"Hey, you okay Mrs. Frankenstein?" Clint asked, plopping down next to me.
I shrugged my shoulders, keeping my gaze in front of me.
"That's not your okay face." He said.
"I know." I breathed, almost a whisper.
"Are you motion sick or something? Do you want something to eat?" I heard true concern in his voice, and I knew that he wasn't just playing a joke. Even though asking if someone was motion sick and offering food were almost complete opposites, he was worried. And I couldn't blame him.
"No, I'm fine."
"Barton." Nat said, stern and cold. He looked over towards her, and out of the corner of my eye I saw her motion telling him to leave me alone.
He patted my shoulder gently, afraid he might break me, and said, "Take it easy, kiddo."
I nodded a gentle 'yes' instead of responding verbally, because I didn't have the strength to.
Then I was left alone with myself again. Tony and Steve were having a gentle argument in the pilot's coop (as I called it). Their relationship worried me sometimes. One minute, they'd be okay, and the next, they'd be fighting non-stop. Their arguments showed me a side of Steve I'd rarely ever seen in him. An angry, purely enraged side of him that came with a wild look in his eye.
And that scared me.
"Girls, girls!" Clint called at them. "Save the chick fights for later, we've got a mission to complete."
Steve and Tony exchanged hateful glares before Steve came back over towards me.
"What were you fighting about?" I questioned innocently, sounding like a confused five year old girl.
"We weren't fighting, hon, we were just having a discussion."
"A heated discussion, so fighting."
"Fighting is throwing fists or objects at each other." Steve replied.
"But that's physical fighting. You guys were having an intense verbal discussion with hateful looks in your eyes. So verbal fighting. It probably wouldn't gotten worse if Clint hadn't stopped you."
Steve sighed in defeat. I was completely right, and he knew it.
"We were discussing Ultron," he said, lowering his voice so the others couldn't hear.
"And?"
"Come with me." He muttered, grasping my arm gently and pulling me into another room on the jet.
"And...it kind of got heated when I said it was his fault." Steve continued.
"Steve, you know it's not entirely his fault. He was just trying to help people, and it went hay-wire."
"But people don't need help from crazy robots or machines, he should've just left it alone and everything would be fine. We wouldn't be on this plane right now, we'd be at Stark Tower sleeping in or taking a little break for once."
"Steve..." I began, but he kept ranting.
"And I hate to blame people for things. I really do. But I can't help it with him. He has to be the best, he's always trying to exceed everyone else to stay at the top. And his methods are so reckless. We've put cities in debt because of his genius ideas to blow things up or do who knows what else to stop enemy that could've been stopped a much easier way."
"Steve,"
"He has no plan of action. He only attacks before he thinks and look where that's gotten us."
"Steve!" I said with more force. He immediately stopped, and his big blue eyes looked right at me.
"Yes?"
"Do you hear yourself? Honey, you've been ranting for what feels like five minutes about all this nonsense. Why do you let Tony get to you like that?"
"I don't know." He sighed, drooping his head in defeat.
"I have people that push my buttons too, and I hate it. But for the sake of the team, you both need to stay off of each other's nerves."
"But he..."
"I'm not blaming you, Steve. And I'm not blaming Tony either. You're my husband, and I love you more than anyone else. But I love Tony too, because he's family. We're all a family. And yes, families fight. That's normal. But you two practically own the family. You're both the leaders, and we take orders from you. We don't need the leaders tearing up our family. It hurts me to see you two fight, and it bothers everybody else. And believe me, I know how hard it is to not want to strangle him sometimes, but please, I'm begging you. This family is the best thing I've ever had and I don't want it torn apart because two of the seven couldn't get along."
"I understand, honey. I'm sorry..." He trailed off.
"It's not your fault, it's nobody's fault. We just need to put out the fire rather then fuel it."
He nodded softly, and I wrapped my arms around him in a warm hug.
I awoke the next morning to soothed muscles and a sight blush on my cheeks. My hair was a tangled and knotted mess, but I felt refreshed.
Steve woke up when he felt me move around in bed, and his attention was immediately on me.
"Morning, honey." He said, turning to face me.
"Good morning." I hummed, smiling.
"How did you sleep?"
"Good, I, I had another re-watch of life."
"What was it this time?"
"That one time we all rode on the jet after Ultron had taken over."
"That time you asked me to stop fighting with Tony?"
"Yeah," I trailed off.
"No crazy ending to it though, right?"
"Nope. It's weird, sometimes I'm just re-watching life and sometimes the re-watches will end badly. And other times I'll have these weird visions, like nightmares. Like, the man on the throne..."
"Wait, wait? Man on the throne? Alex you never mentioned that."
"Haha, woops." I said.
"When did this happen?"
"Back when I was in the medical ward, it was this awful vision of this purple man...he wasn't human, though. He was wearing golden armor, and, he had a piece for his hand that had gems on it...and then I saw a flash of the Vision, and the gem on his head...it was weird. It's all a little fuzzy now. It didn't last long, but it sure was freaky."
"That is weird. I'll look into it, if you want."
"No, please. Let's just keep this between us, for now." I pleaded. "I don't want everyone knowing whats going on in my head."
"Okay, that's fine." He said comfortingly.
I then remembered that morning when my eyes flashed red, and I suddenly felt the urgency to tell him.
"Alex, is there something else?"
"Hm?"
"Did something else happen?"
I looked down, deciding if I should tell him or not.
"Als, you can tell me anything, you know that."
"I know, Steve. And I trust you with all my life, it's just that I'm scared to tell you."
"Why?"
"I don't want to freak you out."
"Alex, nothing about you can freak me out."
I sighed, before giving in and carrying on.
"One morning, after I woke up...back before everything happened with the medical ward, and, my irises, they were..."
"Red?"
"How did you know about that?" I asked, frantically.
"That night, I did have to rush to the medical ward, you were kicking and screaming. And, your blood vessels were glowing bright red under your skin, the same with your eyes. I thought I was going to lose you, Alex..."
"Steve," I breathed, "All that's behind us. For now."
"Right. For now." He sighed, kissing my forehead. He pulled away and looked at me with his soft blue eyes, and a small grin on his lips. That was one of my favorite expressions of his, it simply said, 'Everything's going to be okay'.
Later that morning, I went straight back to looking at textbooks.
After discovering that there really wasn't much else to read about Seidr out of my textbooks, I knew it was time to move on to other sources.
Steve had a day off from training, and I couldn't make up my mind if it was a good thing or a bad thing.
He helped read some of the books for a while, and I had to laugh when I looked to see him lost in a textbook with his old eyeglasses on.
"What?" He chuckled.
"Nothing, old man." I smirked lovingly.
He blushed, taking his glasses off.
"Aw, Steve no! I wasn't laughing at you! I thought you looked cute."
"Yeah, old."
"For 97, consider yourself lucky."
He smiled warmly back at me, and I returned the problem of the present.
I needed more sources.
But where was there to look?
"Hey, I think we're getting about all we're going to get out of these books." I sighed.
"Okay, so what are you getting at exactly?" Steve asked.
"We need more sources."
"Getting tired of books?"
"That, and honestly we've read these things twice through each by now. It's not like something new is going to pop up."
He nodded in agreement. "But, where, or who do we go to?"
"I don't know...that's where I'm stuck. This whole Seidr thing has something to do with me. I can just, feel it." I said, pacing back and forth while holding my chin with my hand.
"Where's your gut telling us to go?"
"It won't talk, that's why I'm frustrated."
"Well, take a few steps back. Where would we need to look? What would have the answers we need?"
Suddenly, I felt myself go into a gaze. My eyes began to black out, and I saw something. No, someone.
A man, and a woman.
The woman said something, and I immediately recognized her voice.
My mom.
"Mom?" I felt my lips mutter. Steve's arms were holding onto my forearms, and he continuously was saying my name as he sat me down on the bed. I could still feel everything, but my head was spinning in another universe. "Lucy?" I mumbled, my hands resting upon my forehead.
"What do you mean you're leaving?" The man boomed.
"I'm leaving. What part of that don't you understand?"
"Why?! Your abilities have done so much for science already, we can change the world!"
"I don't want to change the world. Not like this."
"We're a team, Lucy! And where would you go? What would you do without me?!" The man boomed.
"It's none of your business!" She shouted back. "You treat me as nothing but a lab rat and I'm done with you! The only thing you use my power for is your own greed and hunger to destroy those who have wronged you. You're nothing but a villain, Dexter!"
"Are you going to go back with Howard?" He muttered quietly, teeth clenched.
Lucy froze, looking up slightly with a tightened jaw. "Yes."
"Oh my word! You double crossing, no good b-"
"Don't you dare say it! I will no longer be degraded by you. Goodbye and farewell."
Lucy stormed for the door, slamming it behind her.
Dexter swung his fist over the table, shattering dozens of beakers and glassware all across the floor, appearing much like cracked and distressed diamonds upon the walls of an abandoned cave.
Suddenly my vision returned, and I looked to Steve with a light headed and dizzy feeling.
"Alex?" He breathed.
"I know where to look." I answered, regaining my consciousness.
"Where?" Steve asked, concerned.
"Stark."
Steve gave me a look.
"My mom, she left Dexter and went back to work with Howard." I panted, jumping up and grabbing my notepad, beginning to scribble down as much as I could remember from the vision.
"How do you know?"
"Because I just saw it, Steve. I saw everything."
"You weren't even born when that happened, Alex."
"I know, but this is the only source I've got right now. We have to trust it at least a little bit. We're going to have to some digging, figure out exactly what Howard and my mother worked on together."
"What about Tony?"
"I'm not bringing this up with him, not until I have more proof."
After jotting down everything I could remember, I exhaled a huge sigh I hadn't realized I'd been holding.
"Okay, now, I'm going to go look through the files at this base to see what I can find. If I'm lucky, some of the files I need might be here."
"Alex, don't go getting yourself into trouble."
"Isn't that my job?" I remarked.
"Yes, but still. And besides, lots of files were lost when HYDRA took over..." Steve trailed off.
"Oh I know, but my mother was smart. I know there's files out there with her and Howard's names on them from whatever the heck they worked on together, and I'm going to find them."
"Wait," Steve muttered, grabbing my arm and swinging me back into his grasp. He leaned down and put his lips to mine, and I couldn't help but smile. "Be safe."
"I will, I promise." I whispered, pecking his lips one last time before I left.
I walked rather hurriedly down the hall, passing a staff member every now and then. I kept a straight face and clenched jaw, with a focused mind.
I meant business.
I eventually reached the only file room on base, which wasn't very large considering practically all of the files were lost.
A staff member went buzzing by me, and I saw his key card dangling from his waist. I waited until he was past, and stood patiently until I heard the clicking of boots coming from around the corner.
"Mrs. Rogers." She nodded.
"Miss Jones." I responded.
As her person passed mine, I quickly whipped my now invisible arm out and swiped her key card from her belt. She continued on her marry way, not giving the slightest note that she'd just been pick-pocketed.
"Always comes in handy." I sighed under my breath, sliding the card through its dock.
The hatches on the door released, green lights illuminating from their cracks. I quickly slipped behind the door and tucked the key card safely in my pocket.
The room was dark, and a cold draft brought goosebumps to life on my skin.
I stealthily made my way down to narrow isle, that led straight to a more opened room, with file drawers reaching all the way to the ceiling. A balcony was about mid level, with a ladder for access. I let out a soft and short breath, already feeling exhaustion from a job I hadn't even started. The room was small, with only around a 100 file drawers if that at all. This was small compared to what SHIELD used to have.
I began by checking the alphabetical file drawers, beginning with C.
Cooper.
Nothing.
H, for Hines. Dexter's last name.
Nothing. I climbed the ladder to the balcony to continue my search.
S, for Stark.
Howard Stark.
Finally, something.
Exactly one file.
Stark, Howard
Date of Birth: 15 August, 1917
Place of Birth: Richford, NY
Time of Birth: N/A
Date of Death: 17 December, 1991
Time of Death: N/A
Cause of Death: Car Accident (See: #1482)
Occupation: Inventor, Businessman, Scientist
##: #1482, #1971, #1125
Relations:
Anthony Edward Stark (son)
Maria Carbonell-Stark (wife)
I flipped the page over, revealing nothing but a blank canvas never pierced by ink.
"No!" I muttered. "There has to be more!"
I looked down to see one other paper sticking out of the file folder, and I gently pulled it from its confines.
It was a journal entry.
Entry #1
April 14th, 1980
"I turn to spilling my thoughts on these pages since now I am one with my own mind. My only friend has turned on me for another and I have no other company but myself. She has left me for another man, and not that I am one to cling tightly to a woman for more than one night, but this one is special to me. She's wildly intelligent, and fascinates me with her knowledge. I just wish she'd return...I cannot conceive the reason why she left. I created her, I gave her amazing abilities, and yet she leaves me. I seek help from another to complete my task. If another will not come to me then I must seek for help from different sources. Scientists do not rest until the job is done. And currently, my goal is on the horizon. I can see it, but yet I cannot reach it."
"Task? What task?" I muttered.
Suddenly my ears perked up. Someone was fooling with the door to get in the room. I gasped softly, quickly shoving the papers back in the folder and tucking it safely under my arm. I then shut the file drawer and faded out into thin air, the file disappearing with me. That's a new one, I thought.
The door slid open to reveal the agent I stole the key card from and another one with her.
"She was standing right by this door. I noticed my card was gone after seeing her." Jones said.
"Well, there's nobody in here." The other former agent muttered.
"But she can turn herself invisible!"
"Yes, but your card wouldn't be. And I don't see any floating cards anywhere."
"I'm checking the balcony."
Jones climbed the ladder, and her angry scowl scanning the area to see nothing out of the ordinary.
"Sometimes I really hate that little..." Jones muttered angrily through clenched teeth as she went back down the latter and left with the other woman.
I remained invisible, and didn't move a muscle for about a solid two minutes just to be safe.
"Wow, she really hates me." I sighed, chuckling slightly afterwards. I snuck out of the room successfully, and dropped the key card on the floor outside of the room. "Sucker." I muttered before walking away.
The apartment door opened, and Steve shot up from his spot on the bed.
"Hey, calm down, it's just me." I muttered as I regained visibility.
"Oh, don't do that you startled me."
"Scare Captain America, check." I hummed.
Steve rolled his eyes and walked over to me. "I see you found something." He said, pointing to the file.
"Yeah, not much. It's one of Howard's old files, one of his resumes more or less, and some old journal page of his too. At least I'm assuming it's his."
Steve began reading the papers, and I watched him stop when he held the journal page in his hand. His eyebrows furrowed, and then I saw all of his muscles twist a little under his skin.
"Yeah, this is Howard's writing. I recognize it anywhere."
The wave of sorrow emitting from him landed on me, and I felt terrible. Another one of his only friends from his time on earth seventy years ago, another one of them that was dead."
"I'm sorry, Steve." I muttered.
He shook his head. "I remember Howard. He was a lot like Tony, only a little less..."
"Tony?"
"Yeah." He smirked.
"I never would've dreamt that he of all people kept a journal. Do you think there are more pages?"
"There should be. He certainly acted like there was going to be more and this was ripped out of a book." Steve said, rubbing the roughened left edge of the old document gently.
"Do you think he did? Write more pages that is?"
Steve shrugged. "I don't know, maybe?"
"Who do you think he's talking about?"
"My mom. I know he is. He created her, and she left him once. I know that the girl is her. Do you think they had a thing for each other?"
"It's very well possible. He did get around quite a bit, too."
"That's creepy. My mom had a thing with Tony's dad?" I shivered.
"Well what do you think this task is? A job?"
"Probably a project." Steve said flatly.
"Okay, but which one? There's probably hundreds!"
"I don't know, but these might lead us somewhere." Steve said, pointing to the 4-digit numbers on the other file page.
I looked at him questioningly.
"These are case numbers. Filed case numbers like these are for either top secret information or serious tragedies that happened unexpectedly and corrupted the system."
"So, you think one of these cases could give us more answers?"
"Well, I know one of them can."
I looked at him again. He handed the papers back to me and went and got something out of his night stand drawer. A file.
I knew that file anywhere.
Bucky's file.
"Case #1482." Steve muttered.
I opened the file and fought back a couple of tears. I'd never even met the soldier and the story of how it all went down still made me cry.
"Howard and Maria were killed in a car accident caused by the Winter Soldier on December 17th, 1991. So if the first number is the reference with his death information, then I don't know what the other two are."
"I think it's time we reassembled the gang." I grinned, handing him the file again.
"What?"
"Tomorrow. First thing. You, me, and Piper. I think it's time we solved ourselves a little mystery."
SOURCE NOTES:
Again, credit to the unknown author of the article about Seidr (Article Title: Seidr) on the website called Norse Mythology For Smart People.
I got the information about Howard Stark from Wikipedia (forgive me).
And I made the case numbers up, I honestly don't recall ever reading anything about those in any Marvel Comics Encyclopedia or Marvel Cinematic Universe website/source but if they are real, credit to whoever thought of those.