Chapter 13

"He said something that didn't mean as much then as it does now. He told me that things happen in life that you can't stop. But, it wasn't a reason to shut out the world. I realize that, I have been so afraid of the bad things I was so afraid to face a world without him, that I was losing it. I couldn't move on. But I was ready now, I knew deep inside my heart that I would hurt terribly that I would miss him, hate myself. But life goes on and I wanted to live again. "

"It's all we can do, she needs to find her strength"

"Come back to me love, come back to me"

Rosalie and Emmet left for their honeymoon early in the morning. I didn't sleep at all since I was thinking of how unfair it was that I couldn't have a happy wedding, a happy life. Suddenly I was afraid. Because a thought crossed my mind, a scary one. Something I couldn't believe I was thinking of doing.

"No, no" I tried to shake away the scary thought.

"Good Morning Love" Edward flew through the window.

"Heey" I smiled.

"Anything wrong?You look a little scared." He came near me and hugged me.

"It's just…never mind. I am so glad that you are here" I hugged him tighter.

"How about if we go for a walk?" he asked.

"I prefer if we fly" I winked at him. He grabbed me and we flew in the air. We sat on a cloud again, gazing at the sea.

" I am thinking of rebuilding our home Edward" I told him.

"That's a great idea love" he smiled at me.

" It won't be as our old house, since it won't have you there…but still I want to live there again, to stand on my own feet. Alice is amazing, but I really feel like she and Jasper need their place again"

"Of course, since you feel like it, you have to repair our house again" he told me. "But there is something else you want to tell me Bella, I can see it in your eyes, please tell me" his voice was so pleading.

I got scared again. He hugged me tight and whispered

"Tell me what you think love"

"I can't" my voice was weak " I don't even know if it is what I want"

"Since you think about it that much and it makes you so scared , it must mean something that you want. Talk Bella please" he hugged me tighter.

"Edward… You know that I love you more than anything. More than my life, more than anything in the world combined. I would give my life to be with you, anything to be with you." I looked in his eyes.

"Continue" he said with a calm voice.

" I am not going to lie , I thought about dying, but somehow it didn't work. I knew that you didn't want that. You always told me to move on. I was certain that I wouldn't, that I couldn't. Because a world without you doesn't exist. But I want to be happy again" I said that really low.

"I want you to be happy again too Bella, more than anything" he whispered to me.

Then I said something that acquired all my strength and all my will to live:

"I think I am ready to move on" I looked in his eyes again.

His eyes suddenly were so shinny, his smile was so huge, everything around him seemed magical.

"Oh Bella how happy you make me! You are ready to be happy again! You are ready to live!" he shouted and flew in the sky.

This whole situation felt awkward I was ready to burst into tears , to try to prove to him how much I loved him and he was flying in the sky like this was all he needed to hear?

Of course I thought. From day one that was his goal.

When he landed again in the cloud he hugged me.

"You have no idea how happy you make me" he smiled again.

"I actually see that, to my surprise" I teased him. " I am not sure how I can live without you"

"We'll be together soon" he hugged me tight. "Trust me" he whispered.

"Now you will disappear? I mean just like that?" I almost cried.

" I will be always near you. Every day, for all your life, always. You won't see me, you will feel me. I will always protect you love. I promise." He kissed me gently.

"Please don't go" I kissed him again. "I am not ready"

"You are" he looked at me. " And what's a more beautiful way to go than this beautiful morning?" he smiled my favourite crooked smile.

He grabbed me and we flew for the last time up in the sky. Then we landed back in my room.

"it's time" he looked up in the sky.

I took a deep breath. I wanted to make sure that it was what I wanted. To feel alive again, and he agreed that made him happy, so that should be the right thing to do.

"I am going to miss you" I kissed him for the last time.

"I will always be here" he touched my heart. "Live again Bella"

Suddenly he started disappearing. Like a dream that was going away. I wanted to scream for him to come back, I wanted to grab him. But something stopped me.

This is the right thing to do.

"Her heart is beating faster, she is waking up"