Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans.

"This." Bang. "Is." Bang. "Too." Bang. "Much."

It was three in the freakin' morning and Robin and Starfire were still up. Beast Boy couldn't even get a freakin' glass of milk without hearing them flirt. He was ALREADY not in a good mood at three o'clock in the (freakin') morning without his (freakin') soymilk. And now this.

"Oh, but Robin, surely if--"

"Here, Star, let me help--"

How many times can you honestly hug a girl 'casually'? Robin must've figured out a good three hundred thousand ways by now, and it always started with those two lines. Somehow, Starfire always needed 'help' that required Robin's arms around her. The alien princess giggled, something Beast Boy could not help mocking in his overly exhausted head.

"That's IT! I can't TAKE this anymore!" he screamed. Robin and Starfire turned around, glancing at him curiously.

"Hey, Beast Boy. Is something wrong?" asked the Boy Wonder.

His green eyelid twitched. "Is something--is something wrong? IS SOMETHING WRONG? GAH!" He stormed out of the kitchen, leaving behind two very stunned teens. Something had to be done about this. And it would involve torturing Robin for asking that infuriating question at three o'clock in the (freakin') morning.

Cyborg was in on the plan, and thankfully, Raven agreed to stay out of it completely. This included telling Robin or Starfire.

"Friends, I believe this pile of dishes may fall at any moment!" Starfire warned the next afternoon. It was her turn to do the dishes, and she was trying to carry a large amount from the table to the sink.

Before Robin could offer his help, Cyborg jumped up. "Give some here, girl, you shouldn't have to carry those. Actually, why don't I help you do the dishes, too?"

Starfire's eyes sparkled, ignoring the rankled leader. "That would be very kind of you, friend! Please excuse my lack of help to you in the past, I shall do so more in the future."

"Nah, don't worry about it. For a pretty little lady like you, who wouldn't?"

She chuckled and thought nothing of it, but Robin glared at Cyborg, who just shrugged, trying to keep a straight face.

"The store of groceries is not very exciting today," Starfire murmured dully. Business was very slow in the mini-mart, and Starfire had grown tired of 'scavenger hunting' for supplies. Beast Boy and Cyborg grinned at each other.

All of a sudden, the doors slammed open, and hordes of teenage boys came pouring in. After them came press and proud parents who watched their sons pose with the alien princess. The other four Titans were knocked out of the way as the Starfire-fans piled on top of her.

"Hey! Hey, you--get away from her! DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH HER, YOU--" Robin's furious voice was drowned out by the roar of boys pleading with Starfire to give them a kiss.

The confused Tamaranian held them off with ease, owing to her super strength. "I believe I should do the 'taking back' of my words. They come with the return policy, yes?"

An hour or so after they had escaped the mob and returned to the Tower, Robin announced a training session. Beast Boy immediately piped up, "I call Star to spar with!"

"She's my sparring partner, Beast Boy," Robin reminded him impatiently.

The green bean shrugged. "I could use a little variety. You can spar with Raven, though." He jabbed his thumb in the sorceress's direction.

Raven sighed and charged up her hands with glowing auras of black. Robin visibly paled.

"Couldn't we--"

"Come on, Star!" exclaimed Beast Boy happily, slinging his arm around her back. It was the highest part of her he could reach. "Have you ever tried wrestling? It involves a lot more contact than normal sparring does, but it's great practice. I could go for hours without getting tired!"

He heard Robin's teeth grinding behind him.

"You are a wonderful wrestler, Beast Boy!" Starfire complimented. "Truly, that was a grueling practice. I have never met my match by a creature of Earth before. Are you as sore as I?" Behind the two of them, Robin was hopping mad. He'd just endured an entire sparring match with Raven and he still had to put up with the fact that he'd never thought of wrestling with Starfire.

"Don't worry, Star. We thought we'd pamper our resident princess!" Cyborg promised.

She cocked her head curiously, and Robin wondered what fresh torture they'd thought up for him. "There's this massage therapist in town--have you ever had a massage? Anyways, all the girls I've talked to love him--"

"It's a him?" growled Robin.

Cyborg ignored him. "They love him, says the fact that he's so good-looking really helps, and he's got magic hands, he'll take care of that soreness in a second."

"That sounds delightful!" Starfire gushed. "I would enjoy meeting this magician."

Robin was positively spitting with rage.

The massage therapist had been called, and after Robin had finished interrogating him rather roughly, he'd retreated to his room. Even his walls, though, could not fully block out Starfire's 'ooh's and 'aah's of pleasure. Eventually, he stormed out of his room and nearly broke down Cyborg's door. Both the metal man and Beast Boy were sitting in there, sniggering. At the sight of him, though, they shut up.

"Evenin', Robin. Did you do something different with your hair?"

"What. Are. You. Playing. At?" he asked through gritted teeth.

"It was just a question," muttered Cyborg innocently.

"I have no idea what you're talking about!" sniffed Beast Boy.

Robin grabbed the front of the changeling's shirt. "You know EXACTLY what I'm talking about. The dishes--" he shot a death glare at Cyborg--even through his mask it was lethal. "--the store, the wrestling--" He shook Beast Boy. "--and now this massage guy? What the heck is going on?!"

"What's your point?" Beast Boy squeaked, quite aware that his air supply could be cut off any second and ready to morph fly as fast as he could.

"I...I...I don't really know! But why?"

"Jealous?" smirked Cybrog. Robin was about to yell at him, but shut his mouth. He had no answer for that. "Oh, come on, Rob. You had your chance with Star, now let the other guys around here have a turn. She's in demand, you know. I've seen guys making out with her action figure in stores--"

"SHUT UP!" Robin was panting, and he had let go of Beast Boy.

This was too easy.

"Yeah, and I mean, I think she's really taken a liking to this guy. Sheesh, you can hear her all the way from here!"

That was the final straw. Robin was out of Cyborg's room, quick as Kid Flash. He materialized in the Ops Center, in front of the startled therapist. "Leave," he hissed. "Now!"

The man didn't wait for further instructions. At least he'd been paid beforehand. Starfire sat up, confused and disoriented. "Robin? What has happened?"

Robin didn't waste any time in pulling her to him and kissing her senseless.

"Booyah!" whispered Cyborg from the hallway, hi-fiving Beast Boy. "Mission: Impossible accomplished!"

"This." Bang. "Is." Bang. "Too." Bang. "Much."

As usual, Robin and Starfire were sitting in the Ops Center making out. And Beast Boy was too disgusted to get to his soymilk.

"FOR PETE'S SAKE! IT'S THREE IN THE FREAKIN' MORNING!"