Victoria gave Mycroft a kiss on the cheek before leaving his car. Her hair was up in a sloppy bun, she had her heels in one hand, and her cheeks were pink from the hot chocolate that Mycroft had bought for her. The holidays were coming up so the streets and cafes were full of hot chocolates aplenty.
She opened the door to her flat quietly, feeling much more relaxed than she had earlier that night. She really needed to spend more time with Mycroft. Maybe have him over for tea or go out to lunch. He was such a good man and good friend. He would be a good husband one day.
Perhaps he has a brother, she thought and then snorted at her own joke.
It was fascinating how similar and yet how different the two Holmes brothers were. They were two sides of the same coin. She remembered John's recount of the case Sherlock had with Irene Adler. What had she called Mycroft and Sherlock? The ice-man and the virgin, was it? Victoria wondered why Ms. Adler had decided on those labels for the Holmes brothers. They didn't seem like significantly definitive labels at all let alone accurate.
Mycroft was professional but he was not cold. He was unbudging but he was not unrelenting. He had such heart and, much like how a spider is most deadly and merciless when it's babies are in danger, his heart gives him a fearsome power.
Sherlock wasn't a virgin. Without delving into what his sex life would have been like or is like, he is hardly pure. No one would try to sacrifice him to Satan because of his adult purity. He is very aware of how a human body works and of how the world works. He is not illusioned by anything. His will is strong and he is not limited by society. He creates his own standards.
What does that make them? Spider-man and the architect? Victoria rolled her eyes. That didn't sound any better than the ice-man and the virgin. At least there was logic behind Spider-man and the architect, no matter how silly it sounded.
"Are you listening to me?" A voice drew Victoria out of her thoughts.
"Huh?" Victoria blinked, letting her analyses float to the back of her brain. It was then that she noticed she was standing in the middle of her living room and, to her surprise, Sherlock was at her window, facing her, his hands clasped behind her back.
Sherlock quirked an eyebrow, "Is that what it's like when one is not listened to? Fascinating."
Victoria shook her head, feeling her irritation toward him start to return. She started walking to her bedroom, "I'm sure that people don't listen to you more than you realize," she said to him, not glancing back as she closed the door to her bedroom. She peeled off her date outfit (she still hadn't been dressing nicely on her dates but clothes were restraining) and threw on leggings and a large sweater before scrubbing off her makeup with a makeup wipe. She made her way out of her room and put her kettle on the stove in the kitchen. She could feel Sherlock's eyes on her-she could always feel his eyes-but she wasn't in the mood to explain the actions and reactions of others and herself to him.
Sherlock walked into the kitchen and watched her silently for a great while before speaking again, "Mycroft gave you a ride home," he stated and watched her as she closed her eyes and took a breath. "Your cheeks are pink in the way they get when you have chocolate," he continued, ignoring her obvious displeasure. "You left your date earlier than usual…" Victoria turned to face him with her arms crossed, waiting for him to continue, "Trouble in paradise?" He questioned although he knew the answer.
"I could say the exact same thing about you," she pointed out, letting her frustrations get the better of her. Sherlock always seemed to bring out the worst in her. He made her rant and rave and steal erasers from her work and wrestle him on the floor to get a lighter back.
"Please," Sherlock dismissed in obvious frustration of his own. He turned away from her.
"Oh you don't like it when people pick at you, do you?" Victoria asked with a humorless laugh.
She could see that he had steepled his fingers in front of his mouth, his thoughts obviously flying around in his mind. "My problems are mine and none of your concern," he told her, a weak mask of calm over his grating tone.
"And my problems are your concern?!" Victoria cried out in anger, causing Sherlock to spin back to look at her.
"Yes! I am a fairly significant a part of your life and your problems affect me-"
"Oh that sounds pretty self important, Sherlock, but I shouldn't be surprised because-"
"This isn't about my self importance! John is making me clarify-"
"So you admit that you are self important?"
"Honestly, Victoria-"
"Admit it!"
"Of course I am and I have every right to be but that is beside the point. I-"
"I think it has everything to do with the point because you often butt into-"
"Could you shut up for one minute, please?!"
Victoria stuck her tongue between her teeth and cocked her head to the side in a way that told him to continue.
Sherlock sighed and looked down, mumbling about how she was an insufferable woman and how this was all a waste of time. "It was brought to my attention that I need to be aware of your feelings."
Victoria gaped, "What feelings?!"
He shook his head, "Being in my life can be...damaging and I suppose I tend to make it worse than necessary."
She looked at him as if he were crazy, "That isn't news, Sherlock," she told him quietly before adding, much more loudly, "It is almost impossible to hurt my feelings anyway...and I wouldn't even give you that privilege if my feelings could get hurt"
Sherlock smiled, "Good...good…" he watched her for a moment. "So...Charlie?"
Victoria moved her kettle off the stove and he got two cups for them. "He's dead to us now," she said simply as she poured hot water into their cups. She dropped a tea bag into each of their cups and added the amount of sugar that each of them prefered before handing him his cup. He followed her into the living room where they sat down in their respectable spots. After sipping in silence for a moment she added, "He thought that you and I were too chummy. He said the thought of me with you made me disgusting to him."
Sherlock snorted into his cup. "How humans can prefer monogamy while their bodies are so obviously made for polygamy is one of the few things that I will never understand. The head of the human penis is shaped to be able to scoop out the semon from previous sessions of coitus the female had with other males. It's an evolutionary development that allows the most able phallus to reproduce. I am surprised that Charlie's ancestors were able to reproduce thus far, to be honest. He isn't much of an alpha."
"Which reminds me," Victoria turned to face Sherlock, "you need to deal with your sexual frustrations. They are driving us both insane." She commented and then casually sipped her tea.
Sherlock looked at Victoria, slightly impressed at both her conclusion and her cut to the chase. "And pray, how do I do that?" He asked her, willing to humor her enough to listen to her advice.
"Well, when you were fake dating that bridesmaid after John got married, you guys were shagging, like, nonstop, right? That's what John told me once." Sherlock nodded once before Victoria continued, "So, when you didn't need her anymore, you stopped. Your logical mind didn't need the sex but, much in the same way that you are keen to use cigarettes (among other things), your brain was neglected all those good chemicals that it got to bathe in anytime you two fooled around. Your brain wants those chemicals again for the pure lust of it as well as the physical and mental health benefits. I'm assuming the mental benefits are the most important for you. I'm sure that a rush of some of those chemicals could help you solve a case or two as effectively as those nicotine patches."
Sherlock sighed impatiently, "You are doing that thing where you are telling me things I already know."
Victoria waved her hand, dismissing him, "Why don't you just have sex with someone? I'm sure that your libido isn't that high and there are plenty of girls out there that would love to have relations with someone without an emotional attachment."
"That is completely inaccurate and you and I both know it," Sherlock commented before taking a sip of his tea. "Hurt feelings, crushes, fluff, and drama are all things that I try to avoid. There is no such thing as uncomplicated sex. Something always gets in the way."
Victoria shrugged, "You'd have to treat it like a business proposition. It's not personal, it's business. You know."
Sherlock dwelled on this for a moment, assessing his situation. She could tell when he got an idea because his eyes widened slightly and he had a slightly intake of breath. It was odd, though, when he tried to act casual. "No feelings, right, Victoria?"
"Right…" Victoria trailed off suspiciously.
"I have a proposition for you."