THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO hpfan555 MY ONLY REVIEWER.
THE FORCE IS WITH YOU hpfan555!!
(WARNING: I DON'T EXACTLY REMEMBER ANYTHING ABOUT STAR WARS, AND THEREFORE I DON'T KNOW IF I'M THE BEST JUDGE ON WHETHOR OR NOT THE FORCE IS ACTUALLY WITH YOU. SO DON'T DO ANYTHING RASH, OKAY?
Friday, September 28th - Heads Common Room
Two days have passed since the official friendship of Lily Evans and James Potter.
And let me tell you….I DON'T LIKE IT. Seriously. Oh, yeah, no more obvious staring at me in class. Want to know why? Because now he sits next to me. Now he passes me notes with little jokes, or doodles. Doodles. It doesn't matter that these jokes are hilarious. It doesn't matter that these doodles (which often contain Sirius Black in a dress) are genius-like, even though they are stick figures.
It does matter that this is all wrong. This shouldn't be happening. He should be sitting on the other side of the room, and he should be passing the doodles to another girl. Maybe Peter Pettigrew. He looks like he could appreciate a good doodle.
I obviously can't.
It's also become pretty clear to me that Potter is extremely gifted. He finishes most of his assignments in half the time it takes me, and I am no slacker. It is just intensely annoying. Especially because he'll often lean over to ask if I need help, which makes me look pathetic. I don't need his help. I am seventeen years old. I've been getting along fine for seventeen whole years without the help of James Potter.
My god, what is wrong with me?
Get it together, woman. James is your friend. He's trying to help you.
Actually, no, I don't believe this. I think he is going to purposefully mess something up, just so I look bad in front of everyone. He is trying to force me over to the dark side.
THAT LITTLE RAT.
It isn't going to happen. No, no.
I am going to stop your little plan. You will not fo ce me to the dark side (although, I don't know, I heard they had cookies, so maybe it wouldn't be so bad).
You will not make me look bad in front of everyone, just because I might have rejected you once or twice. Oh, yeah.
I AM ON TO YOU.
More Friday, September 28th - Notes With Denise (Potions)
Lily, he is not using cookies to try and lure you to the dark side. - Denise
Oh, Denise. You are an innocent. I, who am older, and therefore wiser, know what he is up to. And - Oh, my GOD. He got to you! Are you WORKING with HIM? - Lily
What? Now who's on crack? And you are FOUR DAYS older than me. I'm sure those FOUR DAYS taught you a lot. But I think I have caught up in the time since then. -Denise
Uh, I didn't hear you deny it. Or. . .read you. Whatever.- Lily
No, Lily. I am not working with James. I am not helping him force you to the dark side. - Denise
Aha! So he is trying to force me to the dark side! I KNEW IT! How long did you know about this? Huh? I bet you two were cooking this little plan up since you two met. I can picture this. Well, Denise, It's not going to work! Hear me! Not going to work! - Lily
Lily, you crack head, we met when we were like one month old. WE ARE NOT TRYING TO FORCE YOU TO THE DARK SIDE! And would you watch where you throw the notes? The last one landed in my potion, and I could hardly read any of you rambling IRRATIONALITIES. - Denise
Irrationalities? I THINK NOT. - Lily
OW! Now you hit my head! What is wrong with you? There is no point in writing a not if it has three words on it! - Denise
Oh. . . I kinda liked writing to you. I couldn't think of anything to say, and I didn't want this to stop. Besides, counting my name, that's four words. In your face. - Lily
OW! Did your mother drop you on your head when you were a baby?! STOP HITTING ME! No more notes, Lily! NO MORE! Besides, you throw like a girl. - Denise
Still Friday, September 28th - The Great Hall (Dinner)
So here I am, sitting at the dinner table. Who, I wonder is sitting across from me? Oh, that's right.
JAMES POTTER.
He is like a cockroach. He's not going to go away. He really meant this whole friends thing.
GAWD.
"…So then, Rochester keeps on walking out of the store, like nothing happened, when Sirius jumps out and pulls down his pants!"
Everyone, including Denise, is laughing at James' joke. Like it's the most hilarious thing that ever happened.
And, okay, I didn't exactly hear the whole joke. But I can't see how pulling down Ryan's pants is funny. Well, I can. But I refuse to laugh.
"OW!" I screamed, because someone has just kicked me underneath the table. And I'm pretty sure I know who.
"Lily"-Denise took no acknowledgement to the pain she just caused me-"Wasn't that funny?"
Everyone looked at me, waiting for my answer. I swear, she can be a real --
"Yeah, hahaha!"
This is too much work.
Still Friday, September 28th - Some Corridor on the Second Floor
Ryan Rochester must be the best looking guy in the whole entire world.
I know. He must be. His dark hair, blue eyes, and his nice muscles? PERFECT. And the fact that he's like 6'2, which is almost a foot taller than me.
Here I am, just walking in the corridor, and he walks up to me and say, "So, what's up?"
And I look at him, aware that he is so, SO HOT, and say, "Uhuhuhhhhmmmmmuuuh."
Then he just smiles (kind of lopsided, but reveals perfect white, straight teeth), and messes with his hair.
"Nothing," I said, after I cleared my throat. "Nothing is up."
"Well," He jumped in front of me, so I couldn't walk any more. "Will anything be up tomorrow, or will you be able to spend it with me?"
I was about to say yes. I really was. But then I remembered all the times I've pulled him out of closets. "Uh, no. I have to…wash my hair. Sorry."
He actually looked surprised. "Really?"
"Really."
"Well, Okay," He smiled again. It's a nice smile. Really, really nice.
"Well…see you, I don't know, later."
He walked a few steps backwards, and said, "Later."
Yeah. Later.
Wait…why did Sirius pull down his pants again?
Saturday 29th - The Great Hall (Breakfast)
"Lily," Denise sighed kind of impatiently. "Yes, I think he's good looking. But, no, I would never go out with him."
"Yes, but why?"
She threw a biscuit at me. God, she is so unreasonable. I just asked her a simple question, and she gets all crazy. This is why she doesn't have a boyfriend. It's because she goes around throwing biscuits at people when she could be just asking their simple questions. I don't have a boyfriend, of course, because I scare men. I don't know why.
"YOU ARE A BISCUIT THROWING PYSCOPATH!"
In answer to this she threw another biscuit at me. Which, of course, I ate.
. . . It was really good.
"Oh, what's wrong, Evans? Is Reynolds being a biscuit throwing psychopath, again?" Sirius Black asked, sitting on my right side.
My mouth widened. "What? She's done this before?"
God, it really does explain why she doesn't have a boyfriend. Guys ask her out, and BAM, biscuit in the face. I'm surprised that she doesn't actually carry around a whole tin of biscuits.
I think she does, actually.
"All the time." Sirius answered, taking some biscuits for himself.
I sighed. "You'll never get a man this way, Denise. Think about this - You're sixty years old and you have lots of cats. LOTS AND LOTS OF CATS--Put those biscuits down!!"
Jeez.
Denise shook her head. "I told you to stop writing about me."
I scoffed. She is so full of herself. I could be writing about anything --
"Lily, I know you're writing about me, because I can see it from across the table."
Darn!
Sirius laughed, trying to grab the diary from my hands, but I, um, bit him, and said, "Evans, I didn't know you kept a diary. That's awfully girly of you--"
"Coming from the man who has a Feelings Journal hidden underneath his bed."
I snorted, and looked up at Remus Lupin, the man who made this comment. "You keep a feelings journal, Black? Gee, that's awfully girly of you."
"Oh, shut it," He said, glaring not only at Remus, but at me, too. "Professor McGonnagall makes me write in it. It has nothing to do with my manliness. Just making a woman happy." He grinned. "I'm awfully good at making women happy."
He doesn't make me happy.
"Professor McGonnagall is making me write in this," I said. "It has nothing to do with my being girly, okay?" I can not believe I actually am writing in it. It doesn't make Black any saner, so I don't know why it would me.
Saturday 29th - Hospital Wing
LILY EVANS' WILL
- All copies of my Wicked Witch Magazine will go to Denise. I know she likes to read the articles.
- My blue, fluffy pen will go to Alice Prewett. She's a nice girl, and she likes tickling Frank Longbottom with it. Sick, yes. But I live to make people happy.
- The fuller bottle of It's A Snap mood changing nail polish will go to Marlene McKinnon, while the emptier bottle will go to Emmeline Vance. She gave me a weird look the other day, just because I was crawling along the walls humming. I was hiding, okay?
- All of my books (excluding I Feel Pretty and How to Know You're Becoming a Woman (gifts from the mother)will go to Remus.
- My hidden compartment of Honeydukes candy (located under my bed) will go to Peter, except for the chocolate will go to Remus.
- All of my clothes will go to some first year. Merlin knows those are the only people that would be able to fit into them.
- All of my socks will go to James. I have a feeling that he's taking them, anyway.
- All make-up and hair accessories will go to Professor McGonnagall. She needs the make-up, and a new hairstyle is long overdue.
Saturday 29th - Gryffindor Common Room
There is something wrong with that boy. There is. I swear, he popped out of his mother and said, "What can I do to ruin Lily Evans' Life? How about I wait until I am a seventh year at Hogwarts, and hit down a bee hive then make sure they sting her many times and THEN act like it was an accident? WOULD THAT BE GOOD?"
Well, okay, maybe he didn't say it. But I bet he was thinking it.
"Lily," Potter was on his knees. "I didn't mean to! Sirius and I were just throwing around the quaffle, and BAM it hit it! I mean, yeah, I should have known that he sucks at catching"-Sirius let out a "WHAT?"-"but I didn't even see that bee hive! I didn't even know Hogwarts HAD bee hives."
"I GLARE AT YOU." I said, unable to stop myself. "GRR."
HA! That's right. You back away in fear.
"Did you-? Did you just growl at me?" He asked in disbelief. He stood up. "I can not believe you just--"
"GRRR!"
"WELL, GRR RIGHT BACK AT YOU!!"
My jaw dropped. He did not just grr at me!!
I stood up. I did not, unfortunately, tower over him, like I wanted. I mean, the man is like 6'3. Do you know how tall that is? Huh? It's TALL. Really tall. A whole foot taller then me.
So I looked next to me, and stood on the table. I was still about an inch shorter, but it didn't matter. What I lacked in height, I made up in fury. And, well, I was on my toes. "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! YOU DO NOT GRR AT ME! I GRR AT YOU!"
Potter scoffed. "Why the hell not? Cause you're a girl?"
Well. Yeah.
"No. Because you're the one that got me stung by sixteen bees!" I yelled. "I am not even going to GO INTO the pain that it caused me! After a bee stings you, IT DIES! YOU HAVE KILLED SIXTEEN BEES TODAY, POTTER! WHO COULD YOU KILL SIXTEEN BEES!?"
"Well, actually," He threw back. "They bit you. You killed the bees because of your BRIGHT BRIGHT hair! HOW COULD YOU KILL SIXTEEN BEES, EVANS? HUH?"
Oh. Oh, no he didn't.
Not…my hair.
My eyes widened, and Sirius went, "Oh, he's GONNA GET IT!"
"You are SO DEAD TO ME!" I informed him angrily. "You know that? DEAD. I don't want to be friends with you, I don't want to be head girl with you, I don't want to LIVE under the same ROOF as you! YOU ARE SUCH A JERK."
I hopped off the table, and ran up the stairs, ignoring Potters yells ("You know what else is dead to you, Evans? SIXTEEN BEES."). What an idiot. His mother most have smoked some serious stuff when she was pregnant with him.
Well, that's it.
I hate James Potter. I truly, truly hate him.
It isn't even the hair comment. It's everything he's done to me over the years. Like, you know, breaking a bee hive right over my head.
Oh, my god. Maybe it is my fault. Why sixteen bees are dead, I mean. Denise didn't get stung once.
No, I got stung because once the hive fell off the tree it hit me. So the bees blamed me, even though it is so clearly Potters fault. Who does that? Who throws quaffles at bee hives? Because it so wasn't an accident. He did it so CLEARLY on purpose. I am an innocent. I mean, sure, I've stolen cookies from the dark arts professor before. But he so would have given them to me anyway. I mean, they were on his desk. In the middle of the classroom! I just didn't want to seem like a pig!
Oh my god!
Bee's can smell fear! I bet they can also smell that I am a cookie stealer!
Potter doesn't NEED to lure me to the dark side! I ALREADY AM DARK! I kill bees, and I steal cookies! Next thing you know I'm going to start sniffing lemons to get high, and then I will OVERDOSE. OVERDOSE ON LEMONS. I am sick. I am sick and I don't deserve to be a witch. I will start to use my magic for evil purposes, like killing SIXTEEN THOUSAND BEES!
Oh, woe is me.
Saturday 29th - 7th Year Girls Dormitory
Denise has just entered my evil lair (well, actually, I'm on her bed), and rolled her eyes. Oh, she thinks it's funny. She would. She probably would enjoy the killing bees. HER darkness will go much farther than throwing biscuits, I'm sure.
"Lily, stop sniffing lemons, you head case." She demanded, trying to grab a lemon from my hands, but I slapped it away. "Okay, Fine." She said grudgingly. "Why are you sniffing lemons on my bed?"
I gave her an "isn't-it-obvious?" look. "Emmeline Vance put her trunks on my bed. God, who needs more then one? Five is a little much. And why is it on my bed?"
"Oh, yeah," Denis nodded. "They've been using you're old area as storage--"
"Old area?" I demanded. "It's still my bed, and I'm coming back. Those things will need to be moved, immediately."
"Woman, you have a whole huge room to yourself." Denise rolled her eyes. "You're not coming back here, I don't care what you say." Man, she is so insensitive. I just figured out that I am doomed to a bee killing life, and she wont even let me come back to my bed. Can't she see that in my time of need I need to be surrounded by close friends? Well, okay, friends. Besides Denise, I have no close friends. "Now why are you sniffing a lemon?"
I held the lemon closer to my chest, in case she was going to try and snatch it from me again. "They help the pain go away…"
She rolled her eyes (again), and ignored my warning that she was going to go blind if she was going to keep doing that. "I'll be fine," She picked up a lemon off her bed, and, after I lunged to try and get it back ("Sharing is caring, Lily!"), and smelled it. "It does smell kinda good."
"You're not ready for this, D." I warned. "You need to start off with smaller fruits and veggies, such as grapes and tomatoes--"
"Are you high?" She asked. "Is that what you've been doing up here? Smelling grapes and tomatoes?"
"It's the new Lily Evans, Denise. She's a bad girl." I sniffed (as in, sniffled. Not a lemon). "It isn't pretty, but what is in this life? It's a cruel, cruel world. You need to prepare yourself--"
"Oh, shut up."
See what I mean about her being insensitive? She totally doesn't care about anything but herself. I'm seeing a whole new side of her.
"And stop writing about me."
I turned to lay on my stomach, hiding my head. "YOU ARE SO INSENSITIVE!" I cried, unable to keep the thought in my head. "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"
She scoffed. "What is wrong with me? What is wrong with you?"
"Nothing."
"Lily! You are up here SNIFFING FRUITS! That is a clear sign that there is, in fact, something wrong with you!" She sat on the bed next to me. "Now what is it?"
"I'm…"I took a shallow breath. "I'm a bee killer!"
I could FEEL her roll her eyes. Feel it in my bones.
"Ooooh, Lily." She patted my back. "You are not a bee killer. It never would have happened if the quaffle didn't hit the hive. It's not your fault."
"No bees hit you," I pointed out. "And you were right next to me. They knew I was a cookie stealer so they bit me, to punish me, and then they died."
"What-? They knew you were a cookie stealer-?" She sounded confused. I guess I can't blame her, actually. "This is not your fault. If they hadn't bit you, they would have bitten somebody else. You did a good thing today. A wonderful sacrifice."
I knew she was full of crap, but she was full of crap for me. And this made me feel a little better. "You're right," I lied. "I am at no fault."
Denise smiled. "I am right," Then she pushed me off her bed. "Now get out, I'm tired."
…
I still think she's insensitive.
A/N: Life is a very interesting thing. Don't you think? There are interesting people, interesting places, and many interesting stories. It's ALSO very interesting how I only got ONE REVIEW. That's the most interesting thing of all. Forty-Seven hits, four alerts, and ONE review.
You guys, you've made me very, very sad. Do you know that? And I just don't think I can continue a story that nobody likes, or likes enough to review. Remember…comments LOVE, so why don't you make me smile?
In other words……
PLEASE REVIEW!