Disclaimer: I don't own The Rocky Horror Picture Show

A/N: Hopefully this is in-character...

After this strange introduction, Magenta led Claudia into another room. It was a bedroom of some kind and very plain. Just a bed and a dresser. On the dresser sat a picture of a regal woman who reminded Claudia of Queen Victoria.

"Tomorrow, I'll wake you up in time to cook breakfast. Sleep for now," Magenta said.

Before Claudia could even think of something to say the woman had left her. The room suddenly felt cold and even lonelier.

As she lay down on the bed, still dressed, Claudia began to worry. It was a bit creepy there in that room. And these people… were they trustable? They looked like members of the Addams family. The redheaded one was quite pretty though the man – her brother? – seemed a bit too shady. He drove a truck that smelled like death; of course he was quite creepy!

Claudia didn't really sleep that night. The place was quite creepy, and she had the impression that the lady in the picture was watching her. So she just stared at the ceiling and. She half believed somebody might come into her room and tragically steal her precious innocence. This was especially amusing of her to think because that often happened in guest rooms. Since this wasn't a guess room, and the Master was busy with his groupie Columbia, Claudia was perfectly safe. Though she didn't know it.

So she nearly panicked when, the next morning, Magenta opened the door without knocking.

"You're avake already."

"Yes. Yes, I am..." Claudia muttered.

"Well, get dressed," Magenta said cheerfully.

After looking through her suitcase Claudia found a nice dress to wear. It was only after she'd partially undressed that she realized that the other woman hadn't left the room. She was staring at her with an expression of disapproval upon her face.

"What are you doing?" Claudia asked.

"Staring at you. Why?"

"Are you crazy?"

"Are you crazy? It's my house – practically, I'm the one cleaning it all – so I should be allowed to stare at people who're here. Why can't I?"

Claudia didn't have an answer to that. All she knew was that this very strange household would make a good story. So she finished getting dressed, not wanting to annoy this insane potential character.

"Good! Now, come along, it's time for us to cook something."

So, Claudia followed Magenta down the hallway. She noticed a few pictures – including one of that regal lady – hung on the wall and a variety of strange things. There was a clock that had a raccoon instead of a cuckoo-bird; a small statue; a variety of taxidermy animals; a dead vulture…

It was the strangest house!

Soon enough they'd ended up in a kitchen. Though this was a different kitchen than the one Claudia saw last night. For one thing, it was much bigger. There was also a gaping, unlit fireplace with a cooking-pot hanging in it. The walls were papered with a weirdly dark floral pattern, the floors made of heavy stone. Next to the sink was a picture of the regal lady again. This time a few other people surrounded her.

The place was very unusual… to say the least.

"Who's that?" Claudia asked, pointing to the picture.

Magenta smiled. "That's the Imperial family. Imperator Richard Brienillus Augustus is the tall bald one in the back. The woman – the older one, not the girl – is Quintina Patricia Augusta. The girl and the boy in the front are Laurilla and Timon Tiberius Augustus. None of them are actually related so the word 'family' is a joke. Timon Tiberius was adopted so there'd be an heir and his name was Timon Tiberius Currian. Laurilla – that's diminutive of Laura, and a nickname – was a busker working outside the palace that the others took a liking to. I used to work for them, you know. I still do technically. That's how I know all the trivia."

After standing there in silence for a moment Claudia decided not to understand what Magenta was talking about. She was too tired to handle any more of this strangeness.

So, she silently helped Magenta prepare breakfast. Though Claudia didn't do much besides really obvious things. Because she was so tired Magenta had to explain things more than once.

"What a child you are!" Magenta proclaimed, at one point.

"I'm no child. How old do I look?"

Magenta paused, then answered: "Fourteen. It's a very good thing my brother didn't give you to the Master. He doesn't like children."

It was later that afternoon that Claudia first ran into the Master. At the time she's been sent to clean the library. Alas, it was just then that he chose to be reading there.

Before this point in time Claudia thought he was some sort of middle-aged man with more money than sense. The sort of person lounging around in a Victorian suit drinking expensive tea.

He did drink tea, at least. Though he wore a corset that was far from Victorian, a leather jacket, and a mini skirt. There were also fishnets and heels. That – plus the makeup – unnerved Claudia slightly.

"Hello, Doll," he said. "Care to come by my room later?"

Pretending to not know what he meant seemed the simplest thing. So, that's what she did.

"Sir? Didn't I already clean your room?"

"Yes, but that's not what I meant," he said.

It was then that she realized he wasn't really reading. No, just flipping through a book of antique pornography. Really dirty drawings from the 18th century. That was something Claudia never needed to see.

At this point she decided it was best to leave the room for a while. Something about him frightened her. Was it the sense of fashion? Perhaps. Whatever it was, it made Claudia not dust that room. Since she was awful at cleaning anyway it didn't really matter.

She sort of ran away from the library, eager to get away from that drag-wearing fiend. As a writer she liked exaggerating when telling stories to make things more interesting. She never meant to lie, it just sort of slipped out like that. Though for once no embellishing would be required to make a character more colorful. No, after a brief exchange with him that he was very colorful anyway…

The thing with the 'Roman-ified names' of RHPS people being the Imperial Family is pretty much only there because I wanted to use the 'titles'/names I'd invented for certain actors in a story. I get so bored sometimes.

Please Review! (The story, not the weird rant)