Feelings Journal of Sirius Black (From now on called F.J.S.B.)

Monday, October 1st - Head Boys Room

Confestim Perscribo

"So," James said suddenly, speaking his first word since me and my fellow Marauders had entered the room ten minutes at me. He looked (or glared, glowered, possibly even 'stared down with hatred') at Peter Pettigrew (Ah, wormy) from where he laid on his four-poster bed. "I have decided that this whole situation is your fault. And you will help me fix it."

I looked at Peter, who was standing less than a foot away from me (really, Worm? Couldn't give me a little space to myself?) and frowned. "Aw, come on, Prongs." I said. "This isn't Worms fault--"

"I WAS TALKING TO YOU, SIRIUS."

Remus snorted, trying to hide his laughter. Yeah, YOU'RE NOT DOING A GREAT JOB, THERE, MOONY. "Are you serious?" I asked.

"No, you're Sirius--" Wormtail started.

"That will never be funny. Ever." I decreed. "Unless I say it myself."

James continued glaring at me. "I am completely serious. The plan was going great, and you totally ruined it."

"I ruined it? ME?" I shrieked (a manly shriek) incredulously. "I believe you threw the ball, and it was you who called her a bee KILLER."

"You could have caught it! WHY DIDN'T YOU CATCH IT, PADS?"

I didn't answer. I hadn't caught the ball because I heard that girl laughing, and I was looking around for her. But then the ball came straight at me, bounced off my head, flew into the tree and hit the bee hive.

I laughed uncomfortably. "It's actually a little comical if you think about it. I mean, what are the chances of it flying into a tree above where Evans and Reynolds were sitting? And then there was a bee hive in it?" I chuckled a little more. "Really, what are the odds?"

"Apparently," Remus started wryly. "Very high."

That's really NOT helping….

"What the hell is that scratching?" Prongs snapped.

Heh. Probably shouldn't have brought you, journal.

I adjusted my body in front of the desk so James wouldn't see my journal, or the pen floating above it, documenting everything that was happening.

"Padfoot brought his feelings journal."

"Merlin, Worms! She isn't a feelings journal." I looked at him in disbelief. "Do you remember what we talked about less than fifteen ago?"

Peter raised his bushy eyebrows. "You said to not tell James you brought it. 'Strictly don't ask, don't tell.'"

"And what did you just do?"

"Yeah, but he asked!"

"The saying isn't 'don't ask, don't tell unless they ask and therefore you can tell.'"

"I'm pretty sure that is how it goes--"

"You brought the feelings journal into my room?" James asked. "That is one of the basic rules of my room. No super feminine and girly diaries pass through that doorway--"

"She's a JOURNAL. And she DOCUMENTS." I corrected. "And her cover has a broom on it Not girly or feminine."

Remus said, "She?"

I shrugged. "It feels more normal if I think of her as a person, not a book--"

"More normal? If you pretend the book is a person?"

It's okay, journal. They just don't know you like I do…

"Why don't we get back to the ridiculous plan?" I snapped impatiently.

James sighed, and sat up in his bed. "Are you going to record this?"

"Yes."

"Fine." James said, resigned. "First we have to make Lily realize I'm good boyfriend material. Since I can no longer show her that through friendship," James stopped a second to glare at me. "we'll have to think of some way to do it differently."

---

Diary of Lily Evans

Monday, October 1st - Kitchen, Dinner Time

House Elves, I realize, are very sympathetic. Very unlike certain blonde friends who shall remain nameless (cough Denise cough)

"And then," I finished tragically. "Because my bright hair made them angry, they bit me. And- and do you what happens when a bee bites you?"

Bowie, a little kitchen elf with a large nose, shook his head frantically. "What happens, Miss?" He asked, caught in all the suspense.

"The bee…dies!!" I sobbed.

"No!" Bowie cried. "Are you certain?"

"Completely certain." I took a shaky breath. "And then I was all sad, you know? So I went to my room, and conjured a bunch of fruits and stuff…and then I sniffed them! To get rid of the pain!!"

"Oh, Miss, you didn't!" Bowie looked frantic. "Me cousin, Gladys, used to do that. It caused her some serious problems, it did!" Bowie shook his little head. "It was the lemons, miss…once you start, you can't stop."

I gasped. Oh my god. I was going down a path of evil. What if I can't stop? What if the temptation is just too strong? Bowie's nose was a bit large though. What if that makes it different? It's probably a stronger high when your nose is that large, and my nose is small--

Oh, Merlin, is this denial??

Sniffing is bad, Lily! No more sniffing!

"I'll stop, Bowie, I swear I will."

---

A/N: I'm sure all of you hate me. I don't really have an excuse for why I didn't update, except I had no internet and a serious case of writers block. I'm writing more now, I just wanted to get this chapter up as soon as possible.

And check out my other story, Watcher. It's an original, so even if you haven't read the mediator series you can still read it and not be all "wtf is going on?"

So, you know the drill! Read and review (please)!!