Chapter 12: Green-back
Boomer's POV
"As much as I love listening to music with you guys, I gotta say, this storm's a real drag!" Brick muttered. "I'm bored out of my mind!"
"Well, maybe you just need to keep expanding your mind," I suggested. "You girls wouldn't happen to have any Zappa lying around by any chance, would you?"
"Nah, he's too kooky for me," Buttercup moaned.
"Kooky? You mean artistic! You just don't get good music, do you, Buttercup? All you know about is metal and punk stuff!" Bubbles jawed.
"More punk than you'll ever be," Buttercup zapped back. You could physically feel the tension in the air as it weighed down on everybody and everything. "But Brick is right! There's gotta be something else that we can do! I wish that the professor was home."
"If the professor was home, Butch, Brick and Boomer wouldn't have even been able to step foot in the house!" Blossom explained.
Buttercup's POV
"Well, maybe not so if they really proved themselves... hey, Boomer, come here for a sec." Boomer levitated over to me from where Bubbles and he had been seated.
"Whaddya' need, BC?"
"It's not a matter of what I need, Boomer my friend, it's what we all need."
"Keep talking."
"We need you to go find and retrieve the professor."
"Please just tell me that's just the cabin fever talking. I ain't going out there, Buttercup! You've seen the juju that this storm could bestow upon us. I'm staying put with Bubbles!" He turned away with his chin up high and slowly drifted back to his couch, where my sister was awaiting him. I was rather upset as to how he refused to help us out, but after a few hard seconds of thinking, I finally thought of something that would make him crack.
Soaring up into my room, I pulled a crumpled up five-dollar bill from my dresser drawer. I know what you're thinking, by the way; Buttercup, don't you know? Bribery is evil! Well, it isn't when the victim is one of your closest friends. I floated back downstairs with a smug grin hugging my face. Boomer briefly watched me float back down the steps towards him for a moment, but almost immediately redirected his attention to snuggling the shit out of Bubbles.
I waddled into the center of everybody in the room (with Blossom, Brick and Butch just engaging in small talk on the rug) and stood there with my hands tucked behind my back, my eyes closed, and a tiny little, innocent smile sitting where my mouth should be. "Are you sure you're not up for helping out, Boomer?" Without pulling off or looking away from Bubbles as he fiercely made out with her, he flipped me off. How rude. "Oh, very well then... I guess I'm just gonna have to put this newly-obtained five-dollar bill of mine to good use," I sang, making the mint note crinkle in my fist.
Boomer's head turned in slow motion away from nibbling on my sister's face and gave me the Clint Eastwood stare as I was leaning against the TV, smirking. I moved my fist around in the air, and his giant, blue, wobbling eyeballs followed with pinpoint precision. He was a cobra, and I was the charmer.
"Hey, Boomer. What're you doing? Ravage my face!" Bubbles commanded, but her orders were no match to the arousal of my crinkling. One thing that I knew about Boomer that she did not was that the crinkling and crunching of bills was like a night of passionate ear sex to the bastard. At this point, he was already inhaling and exhaling with the intensity of a tire losing its air. I crinkled again, and his right eye twitched. I smirked harder and crinkled the bill once more, so therefore, he began to suck his bottom lip in with every inhale. You could cut the tension in the air with a machete. How Bubbles was not understanding any of this, I will never know. Butch, Blossom and Brick just sat next to each other on the floor, staring up at me, awkwardly. I ignored them and stood there in silence, watching Boomer practically drop a load in his pants to the noise of money.
"How's about a deal, you guys? Whoever goes to grab the professor and bring him home, gets five dollars from me-" I seductively and jokingly cooed. Suddenly, I watched the door slam shut in the blink of an eye, with a bang louder than that of a thunder clap. I peered over to the living room couch to see Bubbles staring at me all bug-eyed, alone. Boomer was nowhere to be seen. I unclasped my hand and noticed that my five dollars had vanished.
Son of a bitch... it actually worked!
"What... just happened?" Bubbles asked, transcendently confused. Butch, Brick and Blossom just tilted their heads, exchanged glances between each other in an utter daze, shrugged their shoulders, then just went back to talking about Monty Python, or some shit.
Well, there you have it. Boomer is now trapped out in the rain, Bubbles is trapped in total dumbfoundedness, Buttercup is now trapped with five fewer dollars, and Blossom, Butch and Brick are trapped in conversation. I will make an attempt to update much sooner next time, so in the meantime, read, relax, enjoy, and review or PM. Thank you for your patience.