Chapter 17 – What the Hell?

Back in Milwaukee, Anna and Donna's story had already been scooped. The front page of the Milwaukee Register called it Black January and went on to describe how the Supreme Soviet of the USSR used military deployment to impose an emergency ruling in the Republic of Azerbaijan. Soviet troops numbering over 25,000 had entered the Azerbaijani capital of Baku. A protest that was a long time brewing had accelerated on January 19th of 1990 and ended with the rebirth of the Azerbaijani Republic on January 22nd.

What the papers forgot to mention was amid all the turmoil between the countries of Moldova, Armenia, Romania and others….two of Wisconsin's own citizens were stranded and missing in the war torn city of Baku.

Donna sat in her lonely room in the embassy thinking, "What the Hell?"

T7S

Despite the cold weather, Steven Hyde, Fez and Eric made it a daily habit of engaging Kelso in some form of physical activity. Hyde liked to play basketball because Kelso couldn't jump and most often ended up chasing the ball. Eric liked to participate in cross-country running (okay walking) oft times sending Kelso up and down the bleachers just for the fun of watching him curse. Fez chose the track and would run ahead of his friend holding a bouquet of sugar free suckers. "If you can catch me, you get one!" was the promise.

Eric found that in helping his friend Kelso, he also found healing. Eric wasn't so much focused on what he did badly as a husband and reflected more on the good things he brought to a marriage. After the honeymoon, his union with Donna was most often forced and unnatural. The trip to Africa had changed him – no doubt. The absence of Eric had changed Donna as well.

Finding an unlikely therapist in Mel Dupree, Eric was able to see both ends of the relationship spectrum with Jackie's cross-dressing manager. Mel's advice was to release his resentment of how Donna ended the marriage and see it as the freedom to become the adult Eric had come to be. Mel encouraged him to start a journal when he felt any animosities or anger towards Donna but Eric found a couple of index cards in his wallet worked just as well.

As the last days of cold January warmed into February, Michael Kelso was nearing his goal of fitting into an airplane seat. Hyde drove him to the mall where he proudly purchased a new pair of fitted slimmer slacks. The three piece mirror certainly didn't do Kelso any favors and he had to admit there was still work to be done if he wanted to look anywhere like his younger self.

Kelso was chomping on a rice cake while the guys were sitting in the listening pit. "So I was thinking to myself, out loud, so I could hear my voice. I said, I wonder what Eric is going to do for Valentine's Day."

Eric's head popped up, "What the Hell?!"

Hyde smirked, "Yeah, you have this….thing….going on with Jackie. Are you going to send her flowers?"

"Noooo…..she probably has a hundred guys sending her flowers…..I…I think I'll just pass on this holiday."

Fez shook his head sadly, "Oh my sad friend. All those nice things Jackie has done for you and you won't do nothing? Shame on you!" Eric wasn't going to let Fez guilt him into something. "Hey, Jackie is an adult woman and I make my own decisions. Valentine's Day is for lovers or wannabes okay? Hollywood is a big place and Point Place is not the same. I'm gonna ride this holiday out and let her do her job, besides….she's working in Seattle on some shampoo commercial thingy."

Hyde grinned but didn't say anything. Forman did have a thing for Jackie. But the question was…when would he admit it to his buddies?

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Bob was pacing back and forth in the kitchen. His daughter was in Europe in a city that sounded like a sneeze. Baku. "Bless you!" he had replied to the ambassador on the other end of the phone. Bob had hastily scribbled down the instructions and was now fretting because he couldn't read his own writing. Who called Point Place at 3:00 a.m. on a Saturday? Unless…you were drunk and needed a ride home.

Midge sipped her coffee and tried to read the almost indecipherable handwriting. "Bob….I think this word is Embassy. I know because there's that hotel chain called Embassy Suites." Midge gasped, "Maybe Donna's in a hotel over there."

Bobby shook his head. "I should call Eric. Donna should have had these people call her husband."

Midge frowned, "But we are her parents. We can call Eric and let him figure out what happened." Bob looked at his sadly written notes. The only thing he could actually read was the strange telephone number that had an area code and then a couple of numbers and then the actual number. Yep, Midgie was right – this was Eric's job as a husband.

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Large six foot cutouts of Superman and other DC Comic figures graced the wall of the convention. Row and rows of plastic covered memorabilia were stacked on tables as vendors and buyers harangued over prices. Excitement and anticipation were as palpable as the brand new Star Wars Lego model Eric held in his hands.

Unfortunately, Kelso kept tugging on his arm, "Dude! C'mon! There's a guy over there dressed just like Lieutenant Worf and that hot chick that can read minds."

Eric pulled his arm away, "What the Hell! Man….I brought you here so you hang out. I'm busy scouting out my competition."

Kelso happened to see a body dressed as C3PO and muttered, "Whatever, I'm gonna hang with the robots."

Eric sat down on an upside down crate and sighed. His big idea of bringing Kelso was for the exercise or so he thought. The robust friend could walk around and entertain himself while the enterprising Eric Forman took Mel Dupree's advice and go to a comic book convention. It just wasn't working the way Eric had hoped. But…it was a defining moment for Eric. Instead of doing what everyone wanted him to do, he was going to do what he wanted and that was to scrutinize the comic book industry.

Kelso could get lost in the crowd – he knew where the car was parked.

This beginning business dealer was finally doing his own thing and answering to no one. God it was liberating! Eric poured over the DC Comic stacks and rifled through the first edition copies of Marvel. He analyzed the value of an autographed copy versus a pristine never opened issue. The smell of fresh print was like a paper bouquet. Eric loved it. In fact, he loved every minute of the convention.

The silly people dressed as movie characters to the obscure sweaty fat man that did not want to part for one penny less than his asking price for dog-eared Star Wars issue #17. It was hours later that he met up with his own sweaty friend who was waving frantically from the front of a row of chairs facing a long table. The smile on Kelso's face was intriguing. Eric stowed his purchases securely in his backpack and jogged down the aisle way to Kelso.

"Oh Dude, you are gonna crap when I tell you this." Kelso promised. "There are movie stars here and we get to take pictures with them. Guess….Guess. Guess who I'm gonna take my picture with."

"I have no clue." Eric replied honestly.

Kelso grinned, "The Terminator is here."

Eric's brows furrowed. That movie was like six years old. "What is Arnold Schwarzenegger doing at a comic book convention?"

Kelso finally felt validated as he explained that many studios were using these kinds of conventions to show future movie trailers to promote upcoming releases. Some woman dressed as Uhura told him about "Total Recall" which would be coming out in the summer. "You should sit at the next panel and listen – the cast and producers will tell you all about it."

Kelso was nearly bouncing on the metal chair. He whispered, "And there's an After Party….if we get lucky."

Eric smiled. The geekiness that Kelso held back was bursting out and it was fun to see his friend so excited. "Well, let's check out this panel thing and see if we can get invited to an After Party!"

Kelso could contain himself. He just grabbed Eric and squished him in a sweaty bear hug. It was a great day.

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Donna paced the front sidewalk of the embassy. What the hell could be taking her dad so long? All he needed to do was get a copy of her birth certificate and some photo identification. Just how hard could that be? But then the ambassador was talking to Bob Pinciotti so…..she should have given them Eric's number.

Donna stopped walking and rescinded that thought. Her parents thought she was still married. Eric never signed the freaking divorce paperwork. All of her personal belongings were in Anna's apartment. This was a nightmare.

Anna still hadn't been found. Henrik had sent a message that she was injured during the riots but he didn't know how badly or where she was. The city was still is disarray and with the telephones in an on again/off again status….Donna couldn't even call the cable station.

She rubbed at the scar on her forehead. The squiggly stitches itched and Donna suspected the wound was slightly infected. The never ending headache hovering was on the outskirts of her scalp and the frigid air just made everything ache. All she could do was sit and wait.

Wait for some word about Anna.

Wait for her dad to get the paperwork for her passport.

Wait for Eric to tell her parents about the divorce.

What the hell.

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"Okay….now that you have a basic idea of what the convention does….I recommend you start scoping out dealers." Mel added to his words of wisdom.

Eric replied a little more anxiously, "It's just not about comic books and action figures…there's posters and people that actually dress up like characters…."

Mel chided him on the phone, "…and next you are going to tell me you never put on a costume and dressed like Luke Skywalker? C'mon Eric – play acting can be liberating and you'll meet people. Believe it or not, there are more of you out there than one would think. You could open a store that encourages someone dressed like Hello Kitty to come in and buy a collectible toy or even a VHS tape of their favorite episodes."

Eric had no idea what a Hello Kitty was but he did understand what Mel was referring to. He needed to think outside his Point Place box. "I guess I need to understand what is popular with teenagers now…..now when I was a teen."

"Exactly! Also, Saturday morning cartoons are a great way to see what the toy trends are. Lots of little ladies are spending their mommies money on Barbies…..just saying."

Eric paused to think. He spent a lot of time at his civil service job which afforded him no excitement at all and while this new venture, which was non-profitable, demanded a lot of time. Almost as if Mel was reading his thoughts, the older man added, "You know, you could always self your current home and get a less expensive townhouse."

It dawned on Eric that the house was indeed his to do with whatever he wanted. He hesitantly added, "But Jackie's got her stuff in my garage."

Mel replied, "Well…don't town-homes have garages as well? Think about your future happiness Eric. Jackie would tell you the same thing – be happy and just live your life in a way that gives you freedom."

"Thanks Mel. You are always great to talk to."

"Anytime pal. Oh! I forgot to tell you that we will be in Milwaukee on a movie shoot in February. Do you and a couple of pals want to be paid background players for the weekend of the 10th and 11th?"

Eric immediately thought of Kelso and Fez. Then he remembered that Jackie didn't know of the Michael Kelso weight gain singularity that could be a game changer. Still, it could be a prod in the right direction for an anti-stroke campaign! "Yeah…I got a couple of guys in mind."

Mel laughed, "Okay sure. I'll send you a postcard with details on where, when and what time. Later!" Mel hung up and Eric smiled. His life was just getting better and better.

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