Walking Out of the Shadows

Chapter 9

Reviews and followers make me very happy! Please review more? I found this poem online and thought it fit Sydney perfectly. It helped me decide how I was going to proceed with this chapter. We're going to assume that Starfleet starts classes in August so it would put five months into January. Once again I'm not good at Stardates.

Hemmed in by many thoughts and feelings of the past, each day lasts forever in my mind.
Wanting to erase or get rid of all the memories, I succeed only in getting trapped by them.
Wishing doesn't change a thing - nor does getting angry.
If nothing had ever been left to chance, many memories could remain sweet and undefiled.
All is thought in vain, because what has gone on in the past is always to be remembered.
Whenever life swings full around, horrible memories always seem to slap you in the face-Roseanne V. Shawaik

New Year's Eve (Five months Academy)

Sydney brought her leg into contact with the punching bag, immediately switching to the other leg doing the same thing. She heard the door to the gym open and turned without looking up. "Almost done Richardson, then it's yours," she told her fellow cadet.

"Syd," she heard her father's voice say.

Sydney knew that tone and immediately looked up as she took off her boxing glove and immediately saw her father, Admiral Archer and Dr. McCoy standing there. "Oh this can't be good news," she observed.

McCoy came down the steps. "You better sit down darling," he told her.

"What happened? The three of you wouldn't be here together if something didn't happen," she told them. "Please don't treat me like a child, just tell me."

Chris and Jonathan Archer looked at each other. Jonathan took a breath as he joined her. "Syd, we wanted you to hear it from us before you turned on the news or something," he told her. He put his hands on her shoulders. "Captain Carpenter was found dead in his apartment on Mars this morning. Self-inflected wound from a phasor."

Sydney looked at them. "He…no, he wouldn't," she said as she sat down on the bench. "We talked…before I came here. He was glad that I was moving on…no, it wasn't Rich. He wouldn't give up," she told them.

"Baby, I'm sorry, but it was him," Chris said as he bent down in front of her. "Come on back to my apartment tonight, we'll watch the fireworks from my balcony," he told her.

Sydney shook her head. "No, have plans, with Doc and the group," she answered.

"We'll understand you canceling," Bones told her. "Damn it, none of us will blame you from not wanting to be out in public," he told her.

Sydney stood. "I'm not going to cancel, OK? Archer Beach at six," she told him.

McCoy looked at the other two men and slowly nodded. "Right, at six," he confirmed.

"I'll see you then," she stated as she walked out of the gym.

"I have a feeling that she's going to be having a melt down here in a while," Archer told the other two men.

"She'll have people around her sir," McCoy said. "Maybe she'll actually talk about it," he suggested.

Archer Beach 5:15.

Sydney had gone back to her dorm, took a shower and put on a pair of white shorts and a lightweight long sleeve buttoned down plaid shirt. She had stopped at the store and picked up a case of beer, where she met up with Gailia and Uhura.

"Your dad let us know what happened, we didn't think you'd still be coming out tonight," Gailia told her.

"He probably talked to you before they talked to me," she said as she paid for the beer. "Since I don't have duty tomorrow, I plan to get drunk. And I expect the two of you to get me back to my dorm, all safe and sound. And not let me do anything stupid," she added.

Uhura gave the other woman a grin as she picked up some Alien wine. "You mean not to let you do ANYONE that you'll regret, like Kirk."

Sydney stuck her tongue out at the other woman.

"Uhura don't you know sex makes you feel better about things? It may be the best thing for Syd right now," the Orion woman said.

"No!" both women exclaimed at the same time.

Sydney looked at Uhura. "Alright new plan, you make sure I don't do anything stupid," she told the other woman. "You good with that?"

"I'm good," Uhura said with a smile as she picked up a package of soda. "One of us is keeping a straight head tonight," she told her.

"You two are no fun," Gailia informed them as she walked with them to the beach.

"How are you doing? Really?" Uhura asked her in a hushed voice.

"I'm pretty sure the realization hasn't set in yet," Sydney admitted. "I didn't want to sit with dad at his apartment; he was going to insist on talking, "she told her. "I don't want to be forced to talk about it, though I may because I'll be drinking."

"But you don't want to feel like you HAVE too right?" Uhura asked.

Sydney nodded. "Exactly," she answered as they got to the beach.

"I'll put this in the coolers," Uhura said as she took the beer from the other woman.

Sydney grabbed one of the warm beers and opened it. Some of the crowd had been there all day, some were just arriving, some were bringing food, and others like her were bringing the alcohol. It was going to be there last two days of freedom, before the second half of the term started. Most of the people, especially first years, were taking advantage of it. For her she wanted to use the night to forget, and to feel normal for once in a long time. She sighed as she drank half of the bottle and looked toward the gazebos that sat near the ocean. She drank the second half, dropped the bottle in the trash and got another one from a cooler, sat down on the beach and looked at the gazebos again.

Sydney laughed as she pulled away from Max. "I bet you bring all the girls down here and make out with them, I mean how many boys can brag that a beach was renamed for a family member?"

Max laughed as he kissed her again. "There's only one girl for me, always has been. So you told your dad that you aren't heading to the Academy after graduation" he asked as he put her hair behind her ear.

"He's the one that gave me the application," Sydney answered. "He knew from the time we joined kickboxing class together when I was 8 that I was going to do something other than Fleet. Maybe when they start venturing out more," she told him. "So you like your captain?" she asked.

"Rich? Yeah, he's a good guy. Cares about his people, wants to get a crew that he can rely on, one that's not into flakey people that can't hold their own. Not out in the Black."

Sydney smiled. "That's good to know, that means that I can rely on him bringing you home."

"I'm already talking you up to him," he told her. "I want to know that you are coming home too," he told her as he kissed her.

Sydney sighed as she looked out at the ocean, drinking her second beer, and put it in the trash. She got up and grabbed a third one.

"Well look who had the nerve to show up, didn't think you'd have the guts to, after your Captain took his own life. Giving you ideas?" Kam asked as he stood up from the table he was sitting at.

"Kam leave her alone," one of his friends said.

Syd took a drink of her beer and looked at him. "I'm surprised you are brave enough to confront me with this many people around," she told him.

"I don't have a problem confronting you wherever," Kam hissed at her. "No Professor's out here to save you."

"I'm not the one that needs saving," she told him as she took another sip of her beer. "You would make your brother ashamed."

"Don't talk about my brother, you have no right," Kam hissed as he stepped closer to her.

"Oh I have every right," she answered. "You didn't even write him that last Christmas, or send him a video card. You and the rest of your family cut him off because he got into trouble, and now you're acting like you care. You're a hypocrite, and a bully," Syd told him.

"Ziering maybe you should back off," Hendroff said as he came up behind Sydney.

"It's OK, Hendroff, I got this," Sydney said as she downed the rest of her beer. "You want everyone to think that you're some kind of blasted saint that cared for your brother. But the truth is, you're lashing out at me because you feel guilty. What was his last girlfriend's name?" she asked as she pushed the empty bottle into Hendroff's hand.

"What?" Kam asked confused.

Sydney rolled her eyes. "You confront me, twice now, for still being alive, and him not being. For a guy who so cared for his brother, what was his last girlfriends name? Where did they meet? How long were they going out?" she asked as she pounded his chest with her finger. "Her name was Lori, she was a cook at the base, and they were going out for four months," she informed him. "I'm giving you one warning, and I have witnesses, if you say another word to me, approach me, I'm going to take it as a threat, and I'm going to cause you some serious pain, then I'm going to bring you up on charges for stalking. Got it? Good," she said as she walked away.

"How many beers have you had?" Jim asked as he came over to her.

"Three," she answered.

"I don't mind you getting drunk, darling," McCoy said as he walked up. "Hell I've done it a few times myself, but I am going to have to insist that you eat something before you have another beer. And, slowing down on the drinking would be a good idea. I mean you do want to see New Years, don't you?" he asked.

"You can let lose tonight, Syd, we got you," Jim told her.

(TBC in next chapter)