Yellow Zinnia -

Loyalty/Daily remembrance

(¯`·._ (¯`·._ _.·´¯)_.·´¯) ✾ (¯`·._ (¯`·._ _.·´¯)_.·´¯)

"She was an angel craving chaos . . .

He was a demon seeking peace . . ."

The next morning, Kagome mounted a small mare and prepared for her journey. Kaonashi, having not left her side since the disappearance of the men, floated closer to her. Unfortunately none of the horses that the villagers raised, liked him and the mare she was mounting was no different. She snorted and pawed the ground, ready to run at a moment's notice. For the safety of his miko, Kaonashi decided to keep some distance between them.

"Can you keep up?" A worried Kagome asked.

"Hmm." 'Yes'

Kagome nodded and spurred the mare around and into the forest. Below them, the trample ground from the men's sudden appearance would be their guide. Kaonashi traveled quietly behind her, slightly slower than before because of his still distended stomach. Their travels were quick, with only Kagome singing to herself, the heavy breaths of the mare, and the birds singing with the miko. In the snowy ground, the skittish horse left her own hoof prints behind while there were no trace of Kaonashi's wanderings, despite him following closely behind the pair.

~Pay attention to me. Help me.~ Kaonashi could feel the sickly conscience of the man within him.

An unwanted whimper escaped Kaonashi. ~Help me!~

Kagome noticed the odd sound and quickly brought her horse to a stop. "Is everything okay?"

Kaonashi stopped his own movements, keeping his distance. The shadows of the forest cloaked him, hopefully hiding his pulsing, semi-transparent body. He had never felt disgust with his appearance before but now, he hoped his bulging body wouldn't disgust her. His body bulged in rolls now, giving him a pudgy appearance and his movements were less graceful, nearly clumsy in nature.

"There's a stream up ahead. We can stop there if you want."

The man's thoughts were too distracting for him to focus enough to give her an answer. ~I wonder if she would ride me.~ Kaonashi wondered what that meant to the man inside him. It was dangerous to ride a spirit, even those that looked like large animals. Was it a good thing if a woman rode a man? Kaonashi didn't even know you could ride a human.

Kagome was use to his silence by now and since he didn't protest, she took his quiet acceptance as consent. Kagome spurred her horse around and lead the way to the rushing stream, dismounting when they reached their destination minutes later. The water was moving too rapidly to freeze yet so she didn't have to break the ice to get to the water. The horse obediently started to rehydrate itself while Kagome kneeled by the waters and cupped her hands together so she could sip the icy water.

Kaonashi approached the stream, still keeping his distance from Kagome and copied her. He kneeled down and formed his arms. He paused to assess them, surprised to find that they had changed again. His knuckles were wider and his fingers were thick, like sausages. His arms felt too large, too fat for his body. He stared mournfully at his new extensions, knowing that his body was mimicking the man inside him. He didn't need another reminder about the vile man resting within him.

"Is it because of him?" Kaonashi turned his head in surprise to see that the miko had snuck up on him and was crouched by his side. Her hand gently grasp his new arms, her tiny palms not even wrapping around half of it.

Kaonashi grunted out in answer. 'He's changing me.'

"Will it go away soon?"

'I've never fully digested a living being before.' He had held the frog inside of him for a long time and no damage had happen to it. Kaonashi was unsure if it was because the frog was a spirit, therefore unable to die, and if so, did that mean Kaonashi was capable of digesting a living human. There was too many unknowns about his ability. 'It's painful.' Kaonashi shook his head.

~Imagine being stuck in here with you.~

"Do you want to go back?"

"Ah." 'No.'

~Yes.~

Kagome nodded and straightened up. Kaonashi mimicked her as best as he could with his stomach and followed her as she remounted the horse. "Tell me if you want to rest," she tossed over her shoulder. Once again, their journey began.

They traveled deep into the night. Even when Kagome was starting to doze, Kaonashi's presence behind the horse kept the mare moving forward without a guiding hand. By the time the moon had reached it tallest point, Kagome was deep asleep, leaning against the mare while Kaonashi, who didn't require sleep, kept the beast moving along the subtle trail.

~Help me.~

~She's more beautiful than the stories said.~ Kaonashi found himself agreeing with the voice in his head, this time. Kagome was a beautiful being, more so than future tales would revealed. Even when she was hunched over a horse, limp with exhaustion, lightly snoring with drool decorating the corner of her lips, Kaonashi found her endearing.

~If she'll sleep with a hanyou, I wonder how much a real man can shock her.~

~Do you even know what a cock is?~

~Let! Me! Out!~ Kaonashi grumbled lightly. The man had been complaining all night and neither of their energies were dying down. Kaonashi refused to let him have control and the man refused to let Kaonashi forget he was there, inside him. The sky around them was lightening as the sun peeked its over the distant mountains.

Anger. Frustration. Lust. Need. Fear. They all came from the emotional vessel inside him and it battered at his mind and soul, confusing and hurting him. The man wanted control. The man craved for Kagome. The man lusted for freedom. All of those from the man but they were so entwined with him that it was difficult to tell who it belonged to at times.

A loud snort from the horse startled Kaonashi out of his tangled thoughts. He was surprised to find himself by the mare's flank, unaware of when he had picked up his pace. His large stomach was brushing the animal's side with each step they took and somehow, his new arms had formed and were reaching for the sleeping miko.

Snap!

Kaonashi stopped moving just in time to avoid a vicious nip from the mare. Her ears were pressed against her skull and her steps were brisker, nearly stomping out her displeasure. Kaonashi felt bad for her. Animals were naturally wary around spirit but she must be able to sense his confliction and deemed him a threat to her rider. Kaonashi wanted to fall back and give the horse the distance she obviously wanted but his feet weren't responding to him. The man wanted him to be closer to the miko and he was in control of Kaonashi's legs.

The mare gave a loud whinny that woke Kagome up. The young woman shifted slightly before blinking open her eyes and looking around. One hand traveled to her hip, gripping her white shirt tightly while the other moved to press against the mare's neck, bringing the horse to a complete stop. She looked confused and surprise that the night around them had brightened.

"Did we travel all night?" asked Kagome.

Kaonashi bobbed his head up and down. The man was struggling more now, wrestling for control and without warning, Kaonashi could feel his control slipping. He took a step forward to move the mare along and distract Kagome but the miko firmly kept the horse in place. Her lips were firmly pressed together in a firm line that betrayed her curiosity.

In a second, Kaonashi's control rupture. "You're not very grateful, are you?" A deep, nasally tone escaped Kaonashi.

Kagome jolted in place and her mouth fell open in shock. "Kaonashi?"

Kaonashi was struggling to stop it. It was just like before. The other being was taking control and he was just a viewer inside his own body. His bulging, shadowy form seemed to dance in place as his new arms ripped themselves out and made a grab at the miko, which the mare dodged. "Let's put that mouth to better use."

'It's not me. It's not me.' His arms made another grab for the miko but the horse delivered a strong kick, knocking his arm away. 'I don't want to hurt you. Help me.'

"You're not Kaonashi," Kagome was now gripping her the mare's mane tightly in an effort to stay on the frightened horse.

"I can be whoever you want me to be," he croaked out. Without warning, Kaonashi's body lunged forward like an attacking predator.

'Don't hurt her!'

They collided together, spirit, horse and miko. The mare cried out as her body collapsed from under them. There was a sickening crunch as her thin leg snapped and Kagome cried out as the heavy beast landed on her own leg. Kaonashi's fingers were ripping through whatever flesh they could touch and the horse and human cried out as injuries were inflicted. His mouth, located in the center of his shadowy, bulging body, just under his mask, opened wide with the intent of devouring them both.

There was a flash of magenta and the world froze. Kaonashi could feel himself slipping back into control with the help of her powers but with his newfound control came a gut wrenching nausea. The mouth that had been open wide to devour now had a different objective.

Kaonashi moved away, twisting his body away from the dying horse and injured miko so he could hack and cough violently. Black spew was flowing from his mouth like a gushing river. His body contorted and twisted as his body tried to puke up everything inside him.

"You bitch!" For a brief second the strange man got the control back and forced the spirit to move threateningly back towards the miko. "I'll kill you!"

'It's painful. I'm hurting.' Kaonashi wanted to cry out but only torn whimpers escaped him. He understood why Kagome had attacked him but the thought of it hurt him deeply. He had never meant to hurt or betray her. 'I'm sorry.'

The faceless spirit continued to vomit. He, Kagome and the wounded horse were essentially in a black puddle, the strange liquid lapping at any skin it could reach. Some of it even managed to reach the nearby stream, dripping into it like discolored blood. With one last organ moving heave, a torrent escaped him and with it, the man he had swallowed.

"You bitch!" The man sputtered out from his puddle. The unknown black sludge was covering him like a cloak, despite him trying to shake it off of him. "I'll fucking kill you," he repeated himself.

Kaonashi was still heaving, his body continuing to react to Kagome's attack of purity. His world was a haze of sickness and pain as he continued to retch even though there was nothing coming out of his mouth. His body was contorting in the worst way possible and his energy was being sapped. Everything burned, from his mask to his forgotten organs.

With one last heave, Kaonashi felt something rip and tear inside him. Horror filled him at the unfamiliar, vulnerable feeling. Something had disconnected inside of him and never before had the spirit felt something so terrifying. His body was not something meant to be broken or torn. Kaonashi was not fragile like humans or animals. He never knew it was even possible to harm himself and with each second that passed, he felt more panicked.

He was unaware of his surrounding due to his consuming thoughts. He could hear a scuffle, multiple cries of pain and then silence. He couldn't pay attention despite knowing the gravity of the situation. Everything felt wrong. His whole body felt alien to him. Some of it was too skinny. Other parts were too fat. There was more strange curves and turns than he was use too. It felt all wrong.

"Are you okay?"

Kaonashi whimpered and weakly lifted his head. Kagome was now crouched by his side, her miko outfit freshly stained. Her red pants were now covered in dark maroon patches and her white shirt was stained red and torn in some sections. Blood covered her hands and one palm was resting on his crouched body as the other hand, which was still holding a dagger, was pressed to the ground to balance herself. What little flesh she displayed was torn, both from his cruel grasp and the scuffle with the man.

"Ah, ah, hah." 'It no longer hurts.'

Water filled her eyes as she looked down at his pitiful form. "I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do."

'I understand.' The faceless spirit reached out a hand to comfort her, like he had seen humans before him do. His mask hid the surprise well when his obsidian layers fell away to reveal a human hand. Smooth, unblemished cream skin winked out at him. Knuckles, too large to be feminine, but paired with long, delicate fingers. He could feel the difference. The limb did not just form from his body but was rather attached to something else that he could feel, just below his neck.

A confused murmur left the spirit. What was this sorcery? What did his miko do to him? Kaonashi reacted on instincts, moving away from Kagome swiftly before she could change more about him. The flash of dismay in her eyes was like another agonizing shot of purity. She had done something to him. He should be the one upset and afraid, not her.

"I'll find a way to turn you back," Kagome whispered brokenly. "I didn't mean to do that."

She was trying to coax him back like he was a frightened animal. The hand that was resting on him was now reaching out for him but he only put more distance between it and him. In the growing space between them, they both noticed the imprint of bare feet in the snow underneath him.

They stayed that way. Kagome continued to kneel in the snow and the blood she had shed, Kaonashi briefly noticed the dead man and the dead mare nearby, as she tried to coax the spirit back to her. Kaonashi kept a stubborn distance though, watching the crying miko and mentally assessing himself. After time Kagome was forced to move on or risk freezing in the forest. She pushed herself to her feet and started to trot in the direction they were heading before. Every now and then she would glance over her shoulder to see Kaonashi continuing to follow her even though he kept his distance.

The faceless spirit felt like he had no other choice. He was still trapped in the mortal plane. Humans had proven to be hostile to him before so he didn't trust them enough to be alone and despite it all, he still felt an uncontrollable attachment to the miko. So he couldn't bring himself to leave her, not yet.

(¯`·._ (¯`·._ _.·´¯)_.·´¯)

The trip to the other village was insignificant. The villagers, like the men before, quickly proven to be hostile and refused to let Kaonashi enter their lands. He wordlessly begged for her to not leave him but in the end, she continued to stroll into the village and Kaonashi was forced to stay on the outer rings.

It was similar to how their tale began. Kaonashi lingered between two large trees, sometimes in plain sight and sometimes letting the shadows hide him. There was always one villager watching him, making it impossible to follow his miko.

For three days and two nights they were kept separate.

On the third night, he knew there was something different. The man who was watching him that day disappeared when the sun was setting and soon after evening had spilled into night, he caught a glimpse of Kagome. She was limping and covered in fresh blood. Kaonashi's supernatural senses could smell the scent of decay and death on her. She stopped a little bit of distance from him, respecting his previous wishes.

"Ah, ah, ah." 'Are you okay?'

Her voice trembled when she spoke. "I just want to go home."

She looked broken. Something had happened to her when she was separated from him but Kaonashi did not know what. He was also unsure how to inquire about it. She looked so devastated. How much harm could humans do to her in three days?

Kaonashi glided forward, his arms, still covered in a black shroud, reached out and gently touched her shoulder. His touch destroyed her inner barrier and suddenly her aura was flooded with misery. Her blue eyes finally moved to look at him and he could see the tears streaming down. Kaonashi moved to gently cup her cheek in his hand, the shroud falling back to reveal his new hand, and his thumb moved on its own to clear her tears. Two small brushes and her legs gave out. Kaonashi followed her down, kneeling by her side as she continued to cry.

"It's not fair!" She suddenly screamed out to the stars. Her fists started beating the ground, again and again. Powder snow flew up in a beautifully, only to cascade down. "It's not fair! Why does everyone else get to be happy? I did my duty." She crumbled into herself, her body pressed against the cold grass and her voice murmured the rest of the words. "We sacrificed so much. I just wanted to be happy. I wanted a future when this was all over. I wanted to be normal."

"Ah, ah." Kaonashi's free hand moved to rub her shoulders. He could feel her agony with each sentence but his body was not mimicking it. He had his own emotions fueling his actions now and it unnerved him. He wanted to cheer her up and erase her misery. His desire to stop her tears trumped his instincts to mimic emotions. He never wanted to see her tears but he didn't know how to make her happy.

He was unsure but the faceless spirit knew he could not leave her on the cold ground. Humans were too fragile. So he lifted her up with the use of his new arms, cradling her to his firmer chest, which was also different. He didn't know much about humans but he knew one place that spirits found comfort and happiness. Hopefully, it was the same with humans.

(¯`·._ (¯`·._ _.·´¯)_.·´¯)

Sometime during his walk, his miko cried herself to sleep. Even now, deep in her slumber, tears continued to stream down and she was firmly gripping onto the black cloth that covered him. Her head was nestled into his shoulder, lying on something firmer than his shadowy form. Kaonashi hummed lightly at her touch as he stood in front of a body of water.

Should he unclothe her? Spirit who still had their human forms did not wear clothes into the water but Kaonashi had never undressed someone before. The faceless spirit didn't even know how clothes came off. They came in too many shapes and sizes to make sense of them.

Kaonashi shrugged before stepping forward. Warm water lapped at his bottom half but he continued to stroll forward. He only stopped when water rested right below Kagome's neck. The young woman murmured in her sleep and weakly opened her eyes.

"Where am I?"

"Ah, ah." 'I found a hot springs.' "Hah, um." 'The bathhouse always soothed disturbed spirits.'

"Is this a hot spring?"

'My offering to you.'

Her hands moved to gently push against him and rejection speared him. Again, she was going to reject his offering. Reluctantly, Kaonashi loosened his grip so she could place her feet on the muddy ground beneath them. She didn't move to get out though but instead started messing with the clothes covering her.

"Hmm?"

Kagome finally wiggled an arm free and the sight of the thin, pale, uncovered arm did strange thing to him. Warmth bloomed in his body and he was excited but uncomfortable. After a few more minutes of struggling, Kagome slipped out of all her clothes, including some strange, small clothing that was underneath her pants and shirt.

At Kaonashi's inquiring look, Kagome finally blushed. "I don't have any other clothes with me. There's no need to get the ones I do have, soaking yet."

'So like spirit, humans unclothe when in baths.' Kaonashi grunted in understanding.

For some time, they enjoyed the silence. Both human and spirit soaked in the warm waters, letting it wash away their grime and enjoying the steam that cleared their minds. The tears that marked his miko's face faded away and she was soon returned to her peaceful, stoic self.

"I'm sorry . . . about earlier." Kagome floated back so she could lean back against a rock. Kaonashi couldn't stop the flash of jealousy that bloomed in his chest. 'Was it natural to be jealous of a rock?' "The village needed a miko because one of their women was giving birth. It's not the first baby I've delivered but each time, it's amazing to see life being born.

"It was a set of twins. One boy, one girl. The boy, he was born first and he was healthy. He cried loudly when he entered the world but the girl, the mother wasn't strong enough. There was so much blood and I couldn't stop it. The mother was strong enough to birth the girl but she was a stillborn. Judging by her size, she had died in the womb recently." Kaonashi whimpered as he saw her eyes filling with tears again. "The mother died soon after from bloodloss, crying over her daughter. I had to tell the husband about their deaths but that wasn't the worse part.

"The worse part was that the husband was happy. His son was alive and that's all he cared for. He didn't care about his daughter and when I was leaving, he was already discussing getting a new bride. That's the part that kills me."

Kagome's hands dropped to cradle her flat stomach under the water, or so Kaonashi assumed. It was difficult to see in the dark waters and the the cloud of rising steam. "Why do those assholes get to have children but I can't? I wanted to have a family. I wanted children with adorable puppy ears but the jewel decided otherwise. It wanted a guardian with no other duties besides the jewel."

The tears were back and streaming faster down her rosy cheeks as her fingers were now tearing at her stomach, tainting the water red. "It took my womb. I can't have children and when Inuyasha found out, it devastated him. He tried to stay with me but I would see how his eyes watched the children. There was no need for him to suffer too so I lied. I told him I didn't love him anymore. He left me and I hope he's happy. I hope he's surrounded by a litter of children."

She was crying heavily now, sobbing into the warm water. Her fingers were digging into the soft skin of her stomach, coaxing more blood to flow. "I just, I wanted that too. I don't want to be alone."

Kaonashi reached out and wrapped his arms around her. She let him drag her forward, into his chest. Her arms wrapped around him and she clutched him like he was the only thing left in the world. Her naked flesh was pressed tightly against him, seeking comfort and touch from his own body. He could even feel her blood soaking into the onyx layers that he wore.

'Never alone.' He could feel her pain as she finally released him. She didn't have to be strong around him. 'I am here. I will stay.'

She mourned that night. Kaonashi suspected that this was the first time she let herself cry in many years. Her emotions flowed freely and Kaonashi felt it all. He understood what she needed and he lent an ear, listening to her rant, wiping her tears away when the sight became too much for him and when she was too tired to move, he was the one to pick her up and take her out of the springs.

They rested under a tree. Kaonashi sat back, his back leaning against the trunk as Kagome snuggled into him. She was still naked, her flesh open to his eyes but while Kaonashi felt lust, he controlled it. That was not what she needed tonight. He wrapped himself around her as much as possible, defending her against the cold and protecting her, like she protected him.

He gave her another offering that night, one that she unknowingly accepted. He forgave her for changing him. Whatever she did, she had no control over and Kaonashi knew she was too soft hearted to mean any malice in her actions against him.

Kaonashi leaned down to press his mask against her damp hair. 'I forgive you.'

(¯`·._ (¯`·._ _.·´¯)_.·´¯)

They were back in their own village, several mornings afterwards. Everyone, from the smallest child to the blind elders could sense the difference in the air between them. Kaonashi watched as everything changed, from her distance from the villagers to the way she handled daily tasks. A heavy burden had been removed from her when she had released her grief that night at the hot springs.

Their relationship changed too. Kagome no longer kept the faceless spirit at a distance and she always defended him against the fearful whispers and hateful slanders from the villagers. In return, Kaonashi was always close to her side. He was her living shadow and after time, the village grew to accept the one unavoidable fact.

Where one would found Kagome, they would always find Kaonashi close by.

This was their life for some time. Kaonashi would stand by and watch over his miko, and his miko would take care of the village. Early one mid-winter morning, they found the older miko, Lady Kaede, had passed away peacefully in her sleep. No one in the village even knew she was sick so it shocked them all to the core. That same night, Kagome spend in mourning, cuddled into Kaonashi's chest, wrapped in his arms.

Nobody came to visit and comfort her, which only angered the faceless spirit. For the first time, he wondered how someone could tell such a bright soul to suffer alone. Where were those companions the tale of the Shikon no Tama talked about? Why was she left alone? Why her?

Time followed a strict pattern. It was one of the things that Kaonashi hated about this realm. Winter, his favorite season, did not stay long and soon spring came. The air was warmer now and the animals were coming back. Spring, which was the time of birth and new life.

As the only miko left, Kagome had her hands full with the new season. Humans were birthing their babies and the sweet hearted miko would even help animals if she ran into them. Kaonashi would watch her eyes light up with sadness and joy with every new life she helped into the world. It was a confusing matter to watch, knowing that with every new life she brought into the world, she remember her own infertility and yet, her emotions were still full of innocent love and joy with her actions.

Spring turned to summer and with the green season, came heat. He watched as all the humans struggled with it. The new mothers took refuge inside, the men were often soaked in their own sweat and even the dutiful Kagome, would pant and sweat as she perform the actions the village expected from her. Kaonashi, who was a spirit, did not feel the heat as easily as the mortal but even he felt uncomfortable at times when he followed Kagome outside for too long.

At night, away from the villager's prying eyes, Kaonashi learned how it felt to experience lust powerfully. For under the cloak of the stars, hidden inside their hut, Kagome would lounge around in thin, tiny strips of clothes that barely covered her innocence. Kaonashi loved the shape of her curves, the different shades of her skin and how she would freely walked around him in her almost naked state.

Even wearing as little as possible though, Kaonashi could see the gleam of sweat forming on her cream skin and the crevices it would sometimes pool in. It was so enticing to see water forming on her skin that sometimes Kaonashi couldn't resist and he would reach out to trace their path. Kagome would let him explore as long as his hands did not linger near her breast or along her hips and upper thighs. While Kaonashi loved that he was the only one to explore her like this, he did wonder if it was because she did not see him as a man.

Curiously, Kaonashi traced another line of sweat. They both noticed when his black cloak fell back to reveal tan, male skin underneath. Kaonashi paused his movements, seeing the similarities and the differences in their skin. It was the first time he truly explored his new body as he preferred to pretend it didn't exist. Kagome's skin was slightly darker than his own but his hands appeared larger than hers. Her eyes traced his hands just like his hands traced her flesh.

"You might look the same underneath," Kagome mused out loud. "But more . . . male."

"Ah." Maybe.

"Do you . . . maybe want to see?" Kaonashi found it strange how she sounded nervous about exploring him but she never flinched when he was exploring her.

"Hmm." Kaonashi was in no rush to explore his new body but if that was what his miko desired, then he would indulge her. It was not often enough that she asked for something from him.

Everything around them dimmed. The world outside no longer matter as all of their attention was focused on just the two of them. Slowly, Kagome tugged on the thick cloth that covered his arms. Between her fingertips it seem to melt, evaporating like the shadows it was originally made of. His arm was not muscular like the men who worked in the fields but lithe, almost slender in appearance. Kaonashi fell still as she pushed the cloth up higher, revealing broad shoulders that were even paler than his arms.

She then switched to the other arm, repeating the same process until both limbs were revealed. His miko picked up one of his palms, turning it over and threading her fingers through his own. She felt warm to him, like the sun was resting beneath her skin.

"Your skin is cold." Kagome breathed out.

Even now, with Kaonashi somehow holding a human body, they were different. The faceless spirit reached out with his free hand to stroke his miko's bare arms. He may have been cold to her but for some reason, Kaonashi did not believe that was the reason goosebumps trailed after his touch or the tiniest shiver raced down her spine, unseen by all but his eyes.

"Do you mind?" Her free hand was now reaching for the bottom of his body but he offered no objections.

Unlike his arms, his bottom half was not as solid as it first appeared. At the touch of Kagome's fingers, his body moved like gelatin, objecting to her touch but when she stubbornly held her hands there, it evaporated like stream, playfully coiling around her fingers. She continued to press on until her fingertips brushed something solid and at her first brush, Kaonashi released a surprise grunt at the feeling.

A pair of dark silhouettes that resembled legs could now be seen. His miko stroked down the new limbs, moving from the protrusion of the knee down to the little bumps of his toes. Her aura sparked on her fingertips, like the nip of a playful kitten and the rest of the dark encasing fell back submissively.

Kaonashi did not know much about humans and how their bodies should appear. Every time he saw a human they looked a little bit different from one another, coming in all shapes and sizes but he thought that his legs matched his arms. They weren't muscular or hanging with fat but they did look thin, with the appearance of muscles beneath the skin. The spirit found it curious that his legs were tan like his arms even though they had never seen the light of day. Kagome giggled lightly when he wiggled his toes, fascinated with the small movement.

It was here that she finally paused. Her jewel blue eyes assessed him, unsure what to do next. Kaonashi tilted his head to the side, curious as to why she was hesitating now. Kagome blushed and wiggled her hands towards him in a vague gesture.

"I don't know how to finish this without undressing you," she quietly admitted.

"Ahh," Kaonashi hummed. 'Is it only okay to undress when in water?'

One of her hand, which was still threaded through his own fingers, wiggled as if to slide out. Kaonashi tightened his grip out of reflex, unprepared to release his own source of warmth. Kagome stopped her movement and looked at Kaonashi with confusion but she didn't try to separate their hands again.

"I wonder if you have a face now," she spoke so quietly that Kaonashi knew he was not meant to hear.

Her free hand moved towards his face and for the first time, he denied his miko. His body moved as far back as it could without releasing her hand, putting his head out of her range. She stopped at his sudden movement, sadness in her eyes and fear in her aura. "I didn't mean to upset you," she tried to pacify.

Kaonashi had upset her but he had no way to explain his thoughts. Too much was changing for him. He was stuck in the past. He had an undeniable obsession for a miko and because of his involvement, his very being was changed. His body was no longer the one he knew and while he could still feel emotions, he no longer had the need to mimic them. Everything he knew about himself had changed.

He was a no-face spirit. His mask was his identity. It was his core. Kaonashi could not be a faceless spirit if he had a face. For if something did rest beneath that mask, then who was he anymore? If there was something beneath his mask, he would live in ignorance. He did not want to know.

'I'm sorry.' Kaonashi tried to communicate silently.

"I'm sorry," Kagome apologize. Kaonashi watched as she retreated to a safe distance, wrenching her hand free in the process. "I think . . . that's enough for now."

The spirit wondered if his rejection had hurt her more than he meant too.

(¯`·._ (¯`·._ _.·´¯)_.·´¯)

The children grew to not fear the spirit. Under Kagome's watchful eyes, and the judging gazes of some of the villagers, the young humans would frolic and play with Kaonashi. Some of them were rough, tugging on his body and his mask when they were in reach. Others were sweeter, creating flower chains and trying to mimic his unique way of communication. Much to the amusement of the spirit and Kagome, the children soon developed a secret language amongst each other based on Kaonashi's speechlessness.

It was a quiet day. The children had tired themselves out and was draped all over the green grass. Mud and flower chains decorated the area like a forgotten battlefield. Kagome was sitting down, resting against one of the nearby trees with Kaonashi standing sentinel by her side.

It was that peaceful time between noon and dusk. The air was hot but in the shade it was tolerable. As a gentle breeze floated by, Kaonashi reached out to grab a nearby flower rising the wind. He was excited by his catch and the unusual, bright color. Kagome smiled lazily up at his excitement and motioned for him to bring his cupped hands closer so she could look at it.

When Kaonashi reached down to display the yellow flower, Kagome's smile grew wider. "That's a zinnia," she explained. "It stands for loyalty."

Kaonashi nodded in understanding and cupped his hands over the flower. When he moved them apart, the bright yellow flower was gone. Kagome blinked in surprise but she didn't question his ability.

A blast of heat ruined their quiet moment. Most of the children blinked open their eyes, looking to the sky in surprise. Kagome immediately leaped to her own feet, drawing her bow from behind her. She held a defensive stance, ready to defend herself and the children in her care. After a few tense seconds, a large twin-tail cat engulfed in flames appeared on the horizon. At the sight of the beast, Kagome joyfully dropped her bow and the children cried out in happiness.

"Kiara!"

The cat landed on the grass a few second later, towering above everyone there. The children wasted no time racing up to her to tug on her fur and tails, which the dangerous looking cat allowed. Kagome, much to Kaonashi's horror, also raced up and hugged the large beast around her neck.

"Where are the others? Did you travel ahead?" Kaonashi had never heard his miko sound so excited before.

A sad meow escaped the cat and it nuzzled into Kagome's neck.

Kaonashi sensed the change immediately. The joyful, bouncing miko deflated. Sadness flooded her aura and her grip tightened around the cat, unwilling to let go. Her fingers were gripping the feline's scruff tightly, her nails digging into the soft skin beneath. "I see," she murmured sorrowfully.

Kaonashi moved closer, wanting to comfort his miko but still cautious of the new beast. She felt like a yokai which was a new experience for him. Spirits and yokais did not often cross each others paths, preferring to ignore the other supernatural creature as best as they could. The cat was not the ugliest or most dangerous youkai Kaonashi had seen but he still didn't trust her.

When Kiara's red eyes caught sight of the approaching spirit, a vicious growl escaped her and her cream colored hackles raised stiffly. Kaonashi stopped at the sound, recognizing a warning when he heard it. Kagome also knew what Kiara was upset about and quickly let go of the cat. His miko backed up several steps to firmly plant herself between the spirit and the feline yokai.

"It's okay," she assured the saber-toothed cat. "Kaonashi has been with me a long time. I was hoping Miroku and Sango would get to meet him next autumn but I guess we'll have to wait for their next trip."

Twin tails flickered nervously about as Kiara made another rumbling sound. Her massive head lowered and her ears fell back, giving her a sorrowful appearance. Kagome stepped forward to rub Kiara's ears soothingly despite the misery in her own eyes. "I understand. I'm sure the children are a handful and rumor has it that heard Sango had another baby last winter. It must be tough to get away."

Hope filled her aura once more. "Will you be staying long?"

Kiara's tails fell to the ground with a heavy thump and she looked off into the distance. The rejection sent Kagome's hopes crashing down. "I see," she murmured to herself.

One of the children interrupted the sad moment by tugging on one of Kiara's lowered tails and bringing the large cat's attention to him. "Can I get a ride?" He asked excitedly. At Kagome's approving nod, the feline leaned down and carefully picked the boy up by the back of his shirt.

Kiara spent what was left of the day with them. Kaonashi learned that the cat could change her appearance, growing and shrinking when she pleased but unlike other youkai and spirits he knew, she did not have a human form. Most of the children demanded rides, which the cat dutifully carried out. She would also playfully romp and tackle the children, depleting them of what was left of their energy.

After their greeting, Kaonashi watched as Kagome kept a distance from Kiara. Her emotions were unstable, as wild as a storming ocean underneath her calm mask. He was surprised she was able to pretend to be happy for so long so as to not ruin the children's fun.

When sunset came, miko, spirit and children waved the cat off as she traveled back the way she came. All of them watched until the flames could no longer be seen in the sky. The children were sad to see their companion go but Kagome was devastated. She was barely holding back her tears as one of her hands fisted her clothes, just above her heart.

"Kaonashi," the spirit turned at the sound of his name. "Please take all the children home."

"Ah." And you?

"Make sure they get back to their families."

He never could deny her anything. Patiently the faceless spirit gathered up the children and herded them back to the village. One by one he brought them to their homes or families. The children waved excitedly to him when he left while the adults acknowledged him with quiet respect.

After his task was done, Kaonashi went back to the outskirts of the village to find his miko. He was unsurprised to see that she had left and without any thoughts, he moved towards the nearest hot springs. He had long learned that when Kagome was upset or wanted privacy, she would always find a hot spring to soak in.

He felt her powers first. Kaonashi whimpered as a vicious lash of purity struck him even though he was still a fair distance away. Still a young miko in training, Kagome sometimes lost control of her powers when she was distressed. The recent death of the older miko had brought her training to a halt until they could find a new teacher. The future looked bleak for her, as they could not find a miko, who could match or surpass her in powers and therefor, teach her how to control her amount of purity.

Despite the pain, Kaonashi pushed himself forward. His need to comfort his miko was stronger than his fear of her powers. Her emotions were crying out for someone to comfort and hold her and Kaonashi was the only one who could feel her. He trusted her to not hurt him once she got control of herself, he just needed to ground her first.

He found her submerged in the warm waters. The stream had flattened her hair so it outlined her neck and shoulders. Dozens of tears were streaming from her necks, creating trail marks on her cheeks. Her arms were wrapped around herself in a form of comfort. He could see the sparks of her aura dance along her skin like pink lightning, striking out at everything.

Kaonashi hummed lightly to announce his presence.

His miko gasped and immediately the energy was pulled back into herself so as not to harm him. Kaonashi took another hesitant step forward, unsure if she was truly in control or not.

Kagome swam to the edge of the hot springs and reached a hand out. "I didn't see you there. Did I hurt you?"

The faceless spirit shook his head. 'Are you hurt?'

Kaonashi moved towards her hand like a puppy seeking attention. He couldn't resist it. Her aura had shocked him, hurt him and changed him and yet he still found himself drawn to her very core. He was soon close enough that her hand was pressed firmly against the bottom half of his covered body.

His touch reassured her. The tension left her body and the tears stopped flowing. She twisted her hand until she had a firm grip on his body, gripping the darkness tightly as strands of shadows danced around her fingers. Kaonashi knew she was looking for reassurance.

"I had a family, in the other time." Kagome whispered sadly to him. "They probably think I'm dead or I chose this life over them. I thought I had another family here but I haven't seen Inuyasha since we said goodbye and Sango and Miroku don't visit anymore." Her voice was starting to tremble again. "I'm not immortal or a god. I won't live forever and that scares me. I'll never live long enough to see my family again and any day here could be my last." Pink sparks were dancing along her fingertips again, sending a painful pleasure through Kaonashi's body. "I could be attacked. I could get a sickness that my body can't handle. I don't fear death but I want to know that someone will mourn and remember me.

"I don't want to be alone!" The last sentence sent a powerful jolt through his body. Kaonashi couldn't stop the whimper from breaking free of his chest. The pleasure was all gone, replaced by a searing pain as something morphed painfully inside him. Thump. Thump. A painful beating came from his chest before stilling. It seemed every time Kagome released a new secret, another aspect of her personal life, she injured Kaonashi unintentionally.

He could hear Kagome's apologies as she quickly released her grip but the damage was done. Kaonashi fell to his knees, one hand pressed to the damp ground to keep his balance while the other was rapidly tearing at his body. 'It all felt wrong. Something is wrong!' Pain was filling him and he could feel himself changing, drifting away from everything he knew.

He felt like every nonexistent bone was being torn from his body while his veins were filled with boiling acid. A fiery pain unlike any other ravaged his body for a few, painfully long seconds. Ice flooded his veins and Kagome was whimpering about something to his side but he did not have the will or strength to comfort her.

His arm gave out and he collapsed to the floor.

(¯`·._ (¯`·._ _.·´¯)_.·´¯)

He was first aware of something warm pressed against him. It was centered on his chest, unmoving and heavily still. Kaonashi was also aware of an anxious ball of emotion close by.

"Please don't be dead. Please don't be dead. Can you even kill a spirit?" Kagome's hysterical voice reached his ears.

The world around him came into focus. The moon was hanging above them, surrounded by stars. Kaonashi was sprawled on his back, on the floor with Kagome crouched by side with her ears pressed against his chest.

Kaonashi felt fear filling him as he looked down at himself. All he could see was flesh and the undeniable shape of a man. The limbs were familiar but the rest of it was strange. His chest was flat, firm with the outline of lithe muscles. In the center of his chest, a dark tan line slashed its way across. This was odd to Kaonashi since he had seen the shirtless men of the village and none of them had that tan mark.

"You're okay!" Kagome exclaimed loudly. Kaonashi did not even get a chance to reassure her before she threw herself at him, draping her body over his. "I'm sorry. I swear I didn't mean to do anything and I can fix it. I know I can fix it." She was trying hard to convince herself as much as him.

'What did you do?'

Kagome launched herself at him and planted a loud kiss on his mask. The spirit wondered if she knew he could feel his mask as well as he could feel his own skin. Another kiss was pressed to his mask, again and again.

Her touch was quick but gentle. Kaonashi couldn't help but moan at the delicate press of her skin. The sound of his pleasure finally broke Kagome out of her trance and her kisses stopped. A dark blush decorated her cheeks and Kaonashi knew he was starting to like that shade on her.

"Are you okay?" Kagome's voice trembled with worry.

Kaonashi used one arm to push himself up. His whole body trembled from fatigue and Kaonashi felt sick to his stomach. Did he consume another being without realizing it? What exactly did Kagome's purity do to him?

Kaonashi raised the hand that wasn't supporting him and ran it over his body. He had a human body and it was nude. Kaonashi felt no shame in his exposed state and ran his palm over every section of his body that he could touch. A confused, broken whimper escaped Kaonashi. Everything was wrong. His whole being was changed and different now.

"You're not human," Kagome tried to assure him. Her hand reached out to press against the line on his chest. At her touch a seam appeared, displaying a wide mouth that dominated the center of his chest. Square teeth aligned the top and bottom and a large pink tongue didn't hesitate to sample the taste of his miko's fingers. Mortal men did not have mouths on their chest but in Kaonashi's original form, his cleverly hidden mouth would have been found in the same general area. "Your body is still cold since you have no heartbeat."

Kagome pulled back, letting his mouth fall close and blend once more. If one did not see the actual mouth, the dark slash took the appearance of an aging scar. Her hand traveled up, her fingernails dragging slightly across his chest. Kaonashi shivered when her touch continued upwards, trailing over his collarbone and then switching to travel over one side of his neck. This particular area was sensitive to him as his body shivered heavily and goosebumps burst across his skin.

His miko's fingers grabbed something that was hanging from his head. She moved her hand back just enough for Kaonashi to see what she was playing with. Long black hair fell past his shoulder blades and were draped around his neck and throat. The hair was long and thin, hanging like a curtain and not completely tangible. The tips of his hair still curled on its own, some of the strands breaking free and evaporating like the shadows he was so use to.

"Your mask also hasn't come off," whispered Kagome. "You're still faceless to me."

So maybe she did understand what had happened in their hut that night. Kaonashi reached up to discover she was right. His mask was still firmly in place, his one and only true face. A satisfied hum escaped him to discover that something was the same. The one thing that he associated with himself was unchanged.

Uncomfortable silence prevailed between them. Kaonashi was too busy exploring his new body to pay attention to the guilt and sadness coming from Kagome. He wiggled his toes and then his fingers. He stretched out one leg and then the other, finding joy in the simple action. One palm resumed its exploring touch, poking and prodding his new body. His legs were tough, his arms were thin and his chest, all except his mouth, was firm. He had a fifth limb though that truly intrigued him.

His palm traced the appendage that was nestled between his legs. He found it odd and quite useless when compared to his arms or legs. What use was it? Was this the reason why men continued to cover this area? It didn't move when he came it a mental command, it just laid there, limp.

His strokes turned to prods, taps and touches as he tried to figure what exactly it was. The ball of sad emotion that was emitting from Kagome quickly turned to mortification when she realized what had caught his attention. Her hand reached out and grabbed his hand, stopping his exploration. His soft touch and the sight of her hand on this forbidden appendage excited him more than his own exploration.

Kaonashi grunted as a new feeling filled his body. A warm, intense emotion bubbled in the base of his gut and he was suddenly aware of pressure from the limb. It was curious feeling, not pleasurable alone but not painful either. It was just pressure but the more Kagome's hands lingered, the more pleasurable it was.

Kagome yelped and let go, her cheeks an even brighter red now. Kaonashi was now aware that the previous flaccid limb was standing straight up on its own. His miko was avoiding eye contact with him, which only surprised the spirit more. Kaonashi reached out a hand to cup her red cheek, unsure why she was suddenly shy with him. "I guess that means I'm going to have to explain sex ed to a spirit."

Kagome cupped her own hand over his, resting both of their hands on her cheek, and Kaonashi felt his chest swell with masculine pride and adoration. "Let's see if we can find you clothes now. I can't explain your nude state to the villagers."

Kaonashi nodded in understanding and a long black cloak suddenly appeared on him. Its style was a similar substance to his hair, as it was mostly corporal but the edges were still a dark smog, fading and flickering at will. It was large on him, displaying his collarbone and barely resting on the edge of his shoulders while still displaying his arms. The rest fell in multiple layers, covering his chest and legs.

"How did you do that?" Kagome blinked in surprise.

'I don't know.'

Kagome pushed herself to her feet and offered a hand to him. Kaonashi accepted her steady grip and together the both of them got him to balance on his unsteady feet. They were both surprised to discover that Kaonashi towered over Kagome, with his miko's head only coming to his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," Kagome repeated. She kept one hand tightly grasping his elbow, keeping him in place and lending him, her balance. "Do you, I mean . . . Just give me a chance. I'm not sure how but I'm sure I can return you to your former self."

In response, Kaonashi held out his bare hands, cupping them together before filling them with yellow zinnia flowers. They continued to appeared, creating a small mountain before falling softly to the ground like a handful of gold. Kagome accepted his offering with a smile, plucking several blossoms and braiding them in her black hair single-handedly. Kaonashi was guided by the miko with braided, yellow flowers in her hair, as she lead the way back to their hut and he knew, he would follow his miko anywhere she went.

He was a willing slave with no desire for freedom.

New writing style is still a little rough but I'm pleased with it so far. Just one more chapter left to this story! It's already mostly written, I just need to add some scenes and polish it up. What are your predictions for the end?

As always, I ask that you leave behind a review. Short, long, hateful, praiseful, I love them all! Your words keep an author going when she feels like quitting so don't forget that! Your review could be the final push for an final to create a story, write a chapter, or guide her when she has writer's block. You, the reader, is just as important as a writer!

-Nightshade