Title: Evil Clones Don't Drink Hot Chocolate
Fandom: Booster Gold (with a dabble of Blue Beetle and a nod to Justice League International)
Genre: Humor/Romance
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Ted/Booster
Summary: There's something strange about Ted Kord. First off, he's supposed to be dead, but he's not. And what's with all this cocoa?
Notes: Written for fleur_de_liz as part of the awesomesauce that is boostlethon.

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"Ted?"

Booster was certain that he was hallucinating, or dreaming, or maybe both. Rubbing his eyes, he squinted at the familiar figure before him. By all appearances, it was Ted Kord. He'd materialized out of thin air in a ramshackle blue box and seemed to be shivering pretty badly. Booster couldn't see anything amiss, but he wasn't about to get his hopes up.

"Let me guess- evil clone?"

The man grinned. "Would I tell you if I was?"

Booster took a step closer, eyeing the box suspiciously. "Fine, I'll ask you something only he'd know."

He sneezed, his goggles going a bit askew as he rubbed at his nose. "Booster, if I was an evil clone of Ted Kord- one, I'd research him or two, I'd retain all of his memories. You wouldn't be able to thwart me. Evil clone or not though, I'd really like some hot cocoa."

Taking another step nearer, blue eyes scanned down the familiar costume. "All his memories?"

"Yes Booster, even those," the Blue Beetle before him quipped. "Plus, would an evil clone show up shivering cold in a time machine that only a big nerd, such as myself, would even think of trying to build?"

"He would if he was trying to get me to let my guard down," Booster replied, once again edging closer.

The man seemed to consider this before his face fell, an obvious pout developing, "But it even makes the vworp sound! Do you know how hard it is to build a time machine in the shape of a blue police box and get it to make the vworp noise when it dematerializes or rematerializes?"

Booster stared at him as he continued to ramble.

"If I'd been able to work on it while in the hidden areas of Kord Industries, it might have been easy. But noooo, I had to spend my time there making a bioandroid to fake my own death with. And once that whole fiasco happened, I couldn't risk being around- so I had to go and hide at the Justice League Embassy in Antarctica. Which, by the way, is why I'm freezing my ass off in this spandex. That place is no more than a hole in the ice with a bunch of killer penguins around it. But still, I made it vworp! It took me two extra weeks to make it vworp!"

"...Beetle?"

"Yes?"

"You'd make a horrible evil clone," Booster said with a smile. The man before him started laughing, that distinct laugh that was all Ted Kord and could never ever be mimicked by anyone else. Booster recognized that laugh and knew at once that this was his Ted.

"Bwa-ha-ha! Can you imagine an evil clone of me? That would be the worst attack plan ever!"

Booster grinned, closing the remaining space between them and pulling his friend into an embrace. "Sounds like something we'd come up with as a prank. Actually, since Michelle and Rip are out…"

"Michelle? Your sister? Isn't she dead?"

Booster gave him a pointed look. "Beetle, you're supposed to be dead. Don't act so surprised."

"Ah point. But first, I demand hot cocoa. I am freezing my buns of steel off."

"Buns of steel?"

"Well they used to be steel before I froze them off!"

The two looked at each other, both trying to remain utterly serious and failing as they broke into peals of laughter. Throwing an arm around his shoulders, Booster led Ted towards the kitchen.

"Okay, cocoa first. Then, we're going to convince two very unsuspecting people that you are an evil clone while I play the part of his beloved friend who swears the real Ted is still in there somewhere."

Ted chuckled. "Oooh, the whole 'Ted, can you hear me? It's Booster. Your friend, Booster. Please, don't hurt me! I love you Ted and I know this isn't like you' act?"

"That's it," Booster continued with a grin. "Then we'll let Rip run a ton of tests on you to assure him that you aren't an evil clone and that you haven't screwed up the time stream."

"Boooo-ringgg."

"Hey now, we're almost to the good part," he said as Ted took a chair and he began to rummage in the cabinet for cocoa. "After that, and possibly a small dose of Michelle fussing on you and me and how cute we are…"

"She wouldn't."

"She would. She'll know right away, because she's got some super sister senses or something. I could never hide my crushes from her when I was kid either."

"Ah, okay. Sister fussing it is then. But after that?"

Booster held up a finger and quickly finished mixing the cocoa and heating it up. Sitting down across from Ted at the table, he slid the mug across to him.

"And last, but not least, I will personally test to see if this cocoa has returned your buns to their former steel glory."

Ted raised an eyebrow as he sipped his cocoa. "Oh will you?"

"In a very hands-on way, just to assure accuracy."

"How nice of you."

"That's what friends are for, Beetle."

The two froze as they heard voices down the hallway; both of their faces alight with matching expressions of mischievous joy.

"I believe it's show time, Booster ole buddy," Ted said, downing the last of the cocoa and standing. "How's my evil clone face?"

He stood rigidly still and looked forward blankly. Booster repressed a laugh.

"Perfect. I'm sure you'll win an Oscar for your performance. You ready?"

Ted threw down the chair he'd previously occupied and said in a very convincing monotone voice, "I will destroy you, Booster Gold!"

And Booster took that as his cue to run for it.

"Rip! Michelle! Help me!"

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Rip said seven months would have to pass before he would allow Ted to go along with Booster on missions into the time stream. His reason was that chronal residue took that amount of time to completely settle in molecules, but both Ted and Booster suspected that he was just bitter about their evil clone prank going over so well. Skeets was, of course, glad to see Ted, and Michelle was thrilled to meet the man who (according to her) her brother had been mooning over. Ted still hadn't let Booster forget this conversation, constantly assuring him, "Don't get too depressed, ole buddy. I'm just going into the kitchen and then I'll be right back."

As for Ted himself, there were no repercussions of his falsified death as far as Rip could tell. And given that he had run over a hundred tests and nothing had come back abnormal, everyone felt pretty confident that he was in the clear. But there was one, very slight, change that had occurred; ever since his arrival to the lab in his rickety time machine, Ted Kord had become strangely addicted to hot cocoa.

"It's because I was living off literal ice water for months," he had reasoned.

Then, because he was bored when Booster and Michelle were on missions, he'd begun to run tests on his new addiction. Three months after his testing began, he proudly announced that his body temperature had dropped 1.73 repeating degrees and his penchant for the warm chocolate beverage was clearly his body's way of trying to rectify that. Michelle was impressed, Rip rolled his eyes, Skeets offered to brew up another mug for him and Booster called him a dork.

Thankfully, for all involved, the months went by pretty quickly; Ted having passed the days tinkering with his time machine in attempts to make the inside bigger than the outside and pestering Rip in his lab. As seven months came around, Rip realized he could no longer forbid Ted from missions and Michelle volunteered to sit out a few trips to give the boys some "alone time," much to Rip's chagrin. Ted just turned to Booster and eagerly asked what they'd be fixing that day. Little did Rip know, but damage to the time stream was the least of his concerns.

---------------------------------

"I'll bet you twenty dollars."

"Beetle…"

"Oh come on, it'll be hilarious. We've got Wonder Woman's lasso back and time is a-okay again. Why not have some fun?"

Booster bit his lip, clearly contemplating the pros and cons.

"Chicken," Ted taunted.

He sighed in resignation, "Okay, what's the bet again?"

"Egg Wonder Woman's invisible plane. If she comes out and says 'Great Hera!' I'll give you twenty dollars."

Two cartons of eggs and an enraged Amazon later, the time travelers returned to the lab laughing.

"You owe me forty dollars."

"The deal was twenty!"

"She said it twice. Do the math."

"Fine," Ted grumbled, pausing as he saw an eggshell in Booster's hair. "You've got egg on you, by the way."

As he reached up to brush it off, Booster caught his wrist and pulled him forward. The two stared at each other a moment before their lips met in a heated kiss. Ted tasted of his blasted cocoa and some spice that Booster couldn't quite place.

"I should make a video of this and post it on the internet," Skeets quipped moments later.

The two pulled apart, both glaring at the robot.

"Completed mission celebratory kisses are not public domain."

"Not unless you're charging for it and we get all the profits," Ted piped in. Booster raised an eyebrow in contemplation and he added, "Think about it. We'd be rich."

"We're charging by the minute, right Beetle?"

"Like a porn site?"

"We'd definitely be rich if we put that on there."

Skeets gave a little robotic huff of indignation and sulkily floated off, the two laughing as he went.

Once certain Skeets was gone though, Booster looked to Ted.

"So…uh, what flavor is that?" He asked licking his lips.

Ted grinned. "Cinnamon cocoa. Michelle gave it to me."

"Good move, Sis," he replied with a smirk. "Maybe we should go tell her why you now owe me forty dollars."

Tapping Booster's goggles, Ted jokingly warned in his evil clone voice, "I'll get you next time, Booster Gold."

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After the egg incident, there was no stopping Booster and Beetle's post-mission pranks. They planted a "Kick Me" sign on J'onn's back, booby trapped Max's office with mousetraps and put Guy Gardner in drag after having to knock him out while impersonating a villain.

And after each successful prank, Booster kissed Ted to try and guess the new flavor of cocoa Ted was drinking. White chocolate, hazelnut, mint, caramel, and even peanut butter topped the list as the most common pre-mission drinks; but Booster made sure to discover all the flavors in-between missions too.

Then, as a surprise for Ted's tenth mission, Booster took him to meet his successor with a great prank in mind.

"Jaaayyy-meeee, Jaaayyy-meeee!"

"It's pronounced High-may, Beetle!" Booster yelled from the bushes.

Ted, who was currently pretending to be a ghost haunting the new Beetle, hissed back to his partner, "You should have told me that earlier!"

Turning back to the boy's bedroom window, Ted continued his eerie chant until Jaime pulled the window open.

"…Ted Kord? But I thought you were dead."

"I am but a ghost now, come to haunt you for tainting my title."

Jaime rolled his eyes. "Right. And since when did ghosts drink?"

Ted looked down to the thermos of cocoa in his hand and shrugged. Booster cursed and came storming out of the bushes. "Beetle, I told you to leave it in the Time Sphere. You don't need hot cocoa in Texas!"

"But it hurts my throat to do that weird ghost voice and raspberry cocoa is soothing."

"You ruined what might have been the best prank ever!"

"If I'd had more time to plan, then I would have been prepared!"

"It was supposed to be a surprise!"

Looking between the two superheroes, Jaime cleared his throat. "So is anyone going to explain to me why my predecessor isn't dead or are you just going to continue bickering like my parents?"

A quick change into casual attire and a trip to a local all-night dinner later, Booster proceeded to fill Jaime in. Finally catching the teen up to their failed prank on him, Jaime interrupted.

"So wait, you can travel anywhere, and you're pranking me instead of Batman?"

Booster and Ted exchanged a look before both turning to Jaime with identical maniacal grins.

"A prankster at heart. It's official. You are worthy of the title of Blue Beetle," Ted said patting Jaime on the back.

"So any ideas as to what to pull on Batman?" Booster asked.

The three of them put their heads together and began plotting.

"I'm not sure about this…"

"Oh come on, Beetle."

"But what if he can somehow figure out who did it? He'll murder me."

"Good thing you're dead then."

"Ha ha."

"Michelle is betting us two hundred dollars to do this, Beetle. I think she suspects we'll chicken out. And I promised the kid I'd take pictures."

"Okay, okay." Ted started to loosen his belt and tug his costume bottoms down. "Tell me when he's coming."

Booster squinted up against the large spotlight, searching the sky for the familiar cloaked figure. "I think I see him. Get ready!"

Batman landed on the rooftop, glanced over to the Bat-Signal and then to the two figures on the roof.

"Hey Bats! Check out these buns of steel!" Ted yelled, mooning the dark knight.

Booster's camera flashed and Beetle pulled up his pants; the two of them quickly jumping to the next roof and going down the fire escape.

Once safely several blocks away, Beetle whooped in triumph and threw his arms around Booster's neck, kissing him firmly. He smirked as they pulled apart.

"What is that? Mocha flavored cocoa?" Booster asked with a grin.

But before Ted could answer, a shadowy figure dropped down beside them.

"The Bat-Signal isn't to be used for childish pranks, Beetle and Booster," a familiar growl of a voice intoned.

"He knows."

"Shit."

And without a backward glance, the two started running in the direction of the Time Sphere.

"Run away! Run away! Run away!"