So it hasn't been QUITE a year since my last update... but it's close enough. I would give you excuses on why it's taken me so long but frankly I don't really have any reasons. Just general laziness and procrastination. Also I give you fair warning. This story is mostly going to be HUMOR, so serious characters like Thorin and Dwalin will probably- and by that I mean CERTAINLY- be OOC.

So without further ado, I give to thee this: Chapter 6 of Expect the Unexpected!

Disclaimer: Shiningheart of ThunderClan doesn't own The Hobbit.

It took a surprisingly short time for Bilbo to regain consciousness. I'd expected him to be out for longer than ten minutes, but he was groaning and fidgeting after only five. Without opening his eyes, Bilbo told himself firmly, "It was a dream. I dreamed a wizard, a woman, and thirteen dwarves came to clean out my pantry and pester me into joining a suicidal quest to kill a dragon and reclaim a mountain. When I open my eyes, I will be in my bed, alone, and possibly hungover from this pain in my head." I barely stopped myself from snorting aloud at that one and stealthily crept up to lean over him. "Opening my eyes in three, two, one."

He blinked a few times and jumped when he saw me a foot from his face. "Hi. Dream Dori made you some tea." I gestured to a steaming teapot because apparently simply reheating a pot of tea is blasphemous and will offend the Tea Gods. He didn't say it in so many words but that's the feeling I got when I asked.

Bilbo groaned and sat up slowly, cradling his head on his hands afterwards. "I can't believe I fainted. I have never once before fainted in my life!" I poured him a cup and carefully held it out to him until he sighed heavily and took it with a half-forced smile. "Thank you. Just let me sit quietly for a moment."

I glanced around quickly for Gandalf, as that should have been his cue. He wasn't anywhere in sight though. Should I go on and try to talk Bilbo into coming with us? I looked at him, staring forlornly into his tea like it contained the secrets of the universe and decided I'd ease him into it. "Bilbo?" He made a noise and blinked at me, like he forgot I was there. "Would it be alright if I checked your head? That was a nasty fall you took and I want to make sure you don't have a concussion."

He nodded and set down his tea, tilting his head down for easier access. Frankly I had very little experience in how to detect concussions aside from what I've read, but I tried my best. I gently probed the back of his head for bumps. There was a small one, but not small enough to completely eradicate the possibility. "Good. Now, let me look at your eyes." He obediently looked up when I said so, though he was clearly confused. "Follow my finger." I held up my pointer finger and trailed it in different directions. His eyes clearly followed and I was pleased to note the pupils were the same size.

Clearly he remembered what happened too, so it was safe to declare him healthy. "Well? Will he live?" I jumped at the amused voice and glowered up at the wizard as he came closer. "Don't give me that look. I have only trust in your abilities and knew he would be in good hands."

I pretended to sneeze and sniffled, hiding a grin behind my hands. "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." One of my favorite lines from iRobot. Someone very clearly snorted from the hallway and I looked up at the door with a frown. "It's not nice to eavesdrop you know!" I called to them. Heavy boots clomped away, giving little clue who it was. It wasn't Kili or Nori. They both had lighter footsteps from their respective trades, and I use the term 'trade' very lately in reference to Nori.

Gandalf speaking to Bilbo made me turn back to him. "Dear Bilbo, I'm glad you appear to be feeling better!" Bilbo smiled and reached for his tea without a word. Gandalf frowned at the non-answer but fixed a smile onto his face and walked around the table to stand opposite Bilbo. "So what do you think of the Company? A rather cheery lot, don't you think?"

That smile never dropped from his smile but his eyes narrowed, making the expression rather sharp and admittedly disturbing. "Indeed. Cheerful and bloody insane!" His voice dropped into a hissed whisper, ensuring none of the dwarves would be able to hear. Knowing that didn't stop me from wincing and looking around carefully. "It's absolutely ludicrous, what they plan on doing! And shame on you for encouraging them, Gandalf!"

With every word Gandalf drooped further and further with disappointment. "Bilbo, please, think of it from their point of view! Erebor is their home, the place where their ancestors lay! They need our help to reclaim it when they were so unjustly thrown out!"

Bilbo huffed and glared down at his tea, unmoved. I worried about what it would mean that he was being so stubborn right now. He wasn't like this in the movie. Was it my influence? Should I have waited until we were actually out on the road to work on his backbone? Did I ruin everything? "Bilbo, let me put it this way. You told me how the Sackville-Baggins are always trying to take Bag End from you. Your father built this place for your mother with his own bare hands. Each plank of wood, each piece of furniture has a story and a memory behind it, right?"

He looked around his home with a fond smile, eyes turning hazy as if reliving those very memories. "They do indeed. My father, Yavanna bless his soul, used to complain about all the splinters and bruises he'd gotten and said Mother has better appreciate all the hard work he'd put into it. You know what she said?" He waited for an answer and I shook my head indulgently. "She said the fireplace wasn't big enough. How could she roast the bodies of her enemies over such a measly thing?"

I burst out laughing at that. It shouldn't have surprised me, considering who we were talking about. But thinking about it, I barely knew anything about her. "That's brilliant. I wish I could have known her."

He snickered with me before sighing. "She would have loved you. Probably would have even tried to adopt you, take you under her trouble-making wing so to speak. Every so often, she and my father would play small harmless little pranks on each other. I remember one year in the summer, the three of us went on a walking holiday to Frogmorton. We were walking along the stream, speaking about nothing and everything, when she suddenly shoves him into the water. Oh he was furious at first! Hobbits aren't made for water, you see. Mother was laughing and so was rather caught off guard when I pushed her in. There they are, both dripping wet and gaping at me in shock, and I'm standing there, innocent as can be, and the only thing I say to them is, 'Oops, my hands slipped.'"

By the end of his story I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes. Just the mental image of that was so utterly adorable the only other action would have been to snuggle Bilbo like a child and coo. Gandalf was chuckling at the shared memory, and if his eyes were particularly shiny and wet, well, no one was saying anything. "Yes, that certainly sounds like something she would do."

I allowed both of them a moment of silence before gently steering the both of them back to the present. "That mountain is their Bag End. Every stone there has their memories just like every plank of wood here holds yours. How can you know how important a home is and yet still deny them theirs?"

I could see him wavering and I got excited. All it would take was one more sentimental push and he'd totally give in. And then Gandalf opened his big fat unhelpful mouth and ruined any progress I'd made. "You aren't the hobbit I knew once upon a time. What happened, Bilbo? You used to be such an adventurous, curious lad."

Bilbo sighed and straightened his posture, as if reminding himself that Bagginses didn't slouch. "The Fell Winter happened. Food needed to be rationed and hobbits couldn't do outside for five minutes without getting frostbite, it was so cold. I'd gotten a fever and we needed to fetch the doctor, and Father volunteered to get her, promising to be back soon.

"We heard the wolves later that day, as the sun was going down. At first we didn't think anything of it, but when he didn't come back…" Bilbo gulped audibly, staring out at nothing. He took a shuddering breath and I wanted so badly to tell him he didn't have to continue, that we'd heard enough and story be damned, he didn't have to come if he didn't want to. But I was paralyzed, doomed to listen to this sad tale that I'd never imagined. I mean I knew Bungo and Belladonna had perished in the Fell Winter, but hearing it now from their clearly traumatized son was another matter entirely. "The grief was too much for my mother. It was like she just… just gave up. She stopped eating, stopped playing, even stopped singing. Not even I could get her to smile anymore. She died, just as the snows were beginning to melt."

I didn't speak right away. There was a lump in my throat that blocked every attempt I made. The only bit of solace I could give was to sit next to him and give him a hug, and even that felt meaningless. Bilbo seemed to appreciate it at least, because he leaned into the embrace and it was like his entire being sagged. How long has it been since anyone had given him any comfort? A clap on the back, a one-armed hug, a pat on the head, anything?

My bleeding heart will get me killed one day, I know it. Every time I see someone suffering I get this shard of guilt wedged in my chest because I have it so much better. I have both parents who love me and each other. I have living siblings who, though farther away than I would like, are happy and loved. I have a job- or had, since I'll probably need to get a new one when I get back. I had a roof over my head and never worried about when my next meal would be. When compared to everyone else's problems, my complaints are juvenile and selfish.

Bilbo leaned away and I let him go, ignoring the not-so-subtle swipe of the eyes. "Thank you. You've been a blessing all day, even with your incredibly unusual mannerisms."

I smirked and made my reply as light and casual as I could. "Oh is that what we're calling it now? I thought the politically correct term was 'annoying as shit'." Gandalf chuckled at my tone while Bilbo cringed at the curse. It succeeded in lightening the mood though, so I called it a victory and got to my feet. "I will respect your decision, but I wish you would come with us all the same. I'm going to miss you."

And I wasn't just saying it to sway him either. I really would miss him when everything was said and done and I was back home. Sassy Bilbo is one of my favorite things ever, and his sense of humor had proven far more dry and sarcastic than I'd ever thought it would be.

Bilbo looked at war with himself after my comment, but I excused myself and left the room. The last time I had a bit of true privacy was before I came to Middle Earth. Even in the bathroom Gandalf was waiting for me. Probably trying to jinx me with the runs, come to think of it. Bibbity bobbity boo, I curse you with liquid poo!

Considering all that, I needed a moment to myself, if only to just to breath unoccupied air. The problem was both the front and back doors were being guarded by dwarves I didn't want to run into. Thorin and Balin were having their bromance scene up front and I could hear Fili and Kili bickering in the back.

Normally I wouldn't have worried about the younger Durin heirs, but I still needed to have that talk with Kili. I wasn't really sure what he wanted to talk about that couldn't be said in front of the others, but everything inside of me was screaming to avoid it as long as possible.

Thorin was currently the lesser of two evils, as weird as that was to contemplate (and considering his temper it's horrible how true that is) so I chose the front door to be my stage left, so to speak. He and Balin seemed to have just finished up, since Thorin was just putting away that rusted old key. Both dwarves looked up when I approached. Balin tilted his head in silent fatherly concern while Thorin raised a single speculative eyebrow. "Pardon, Master Dwarves. I was on my way to the door and didn't want to interrupt."

Thorin's brow dropped to a narrowed and almost challenging glare. This was more the Thorin I was expecting, rather than the almost friendly dwarf from before. "Are you abandoning us already, Miss Katie? Dwalin vouched for you earlier. I would hate to tell him how wrong he was about you."

I wasn't sure how to react to that. Immediately my heart warmed at the idea of Dwalin saying I was worthy enough to come with the Company. At least I finally knew what they were whispering about when Fili and Kili were 'comforting' me. Another part of me was slightly incensed that Thorin would think that of me. I mean I know I wasn't the most dependable person, I wasn't one of those 'I gave my word so I'll keep my promise' people that he probably valued and respected, but he didn't know about that.

My third and final reaction was the one I went with. I smirked at him and tilted my head in a way that made it clear I wasn't being serious. "So the great king and head guard waste away their time gossiping like old maids? Or am I simply a special case?"

Balin was polite enough to hide his smile behind his sleeve, but only a blind fool would miss the laughing sparkle in his eye. Thorin was hardly amused though, if the stern frown on his face said anything. "Only about strangers who appear out of nowhere and immediately single out my nephews. How can I be absolutely certain you are what you say? That you aren't simply targeting them for some nefarious reason? That you don't plan on causing more trouble for us than we can afford?"

Something told me it would be a very very bad idea to tease him about his word choice. Because seriously, nefarious? Who the fuck said that, even here? For a few tense heartbeats, Thorin and I stared at each other. My saving grace was sent to us in the form of Kili's clumsiness. A sudden crash of clanking pots came from the back and was immediately followed by Kili yelling, "FILI DID IT!"

Just as immediately was Fili denying it. "I DID NOT!" Then there was the sound of scuffling, followed quickly by a second crash. A pause as we all waited for one of them to blame the other. Instead Fili sounded slightly sheepish as he called, "OKAY, THAT ONE WAS ME. SORRY BILBO."

The timing was too perfect to not take advantage of. Raising my eyebrows at Thorin, I gave a grandiose wave of my arm in their general direction. "You honestly think I can cause more trouble than those two? Really?"

Thorin wore the pained look of a parent who'd heard this same argument thousands of times. He stalked past me with nothing more than a grumble, though from the theoretical storm clouds over him I had the distinct suspicion he was about to strike the fear of God into his nephews.

As much as I wanted to see that, I had other things on my mind. Balin was chuckling aloud now, his cheeks red with suppressed laughter. "Lass, I have to thank you. Truly. My heart hasn't been this light in what feels like ages." He gave me a grandfatherly pat on the shoulder and gestured with his head to the door, his snowy beard swinging through the air as he did so. "Go on now, dear. I know the look of someone who needs to be alone. Don't go too far though! It's getting dark, and who knows what may prowl around at night here. I'll send someone to fetch you in a bit." I didn't respond verbally, choosing instead to dip my head and move past him.

The night air that greeted me was so refreshing that I took three deep breaths before even looking around. I was half surprised to realize no one was already out here. In just about every story where the OC steps out of Bag End, the bench is already occupied. But then the usual suspects are all still inside, so I'm not sure who I was expecting.

But the whole point of me coming out was to be alone. If no one was out here now, they'd probably come later. So how could I avoid that but still stay close enough to hear Thorin sing? Balin said he'd send someone out for me soon, but if it was Kili then he'd probably want that talk while we had privacy. I could psyche them out and go to the back, but the view wasn't quite as stupendous. So where could I go that no one would look for me but I could still see everything?

The answer? Up.

Like every other smial in The Shire, Bag End was build inside of a hill. As such it was an easy matter to climb up the side and sit on the roof. The view wasn't very much changed, and it's an unwritten code that no one ever looks up so I should be safe. Hopefully.

Then I just sat there and stared out at nothing. Don't get me wrong, the scenery was astounding and I will make it my life's mission to one day go to New Zealand where the Hobbit films were shot. But right then I just wasn't feeling it.

The sun had completely set by now. And Balin had been wrong about the rain; there wasn't a single cloud up in the sky. The stars here were brighter than back home, and far more numerous too. I tried to pick out the brightest ones, but there were so many of them that I lost track. Had I already counted that one, on the horizon? The one above my head? I had no idea.

I thought I saw a shooting star too, but that might have just been wishful thinking. Out of nowhere I had the urge to sing, but it wasn't as surprising to me as it might've been to someone else. I always had the urge to sing. So I opened my mouth and sung the first thing that came to my mind. "I have often dreamed of a far off place, where a great warm welcome will be waiting for me. Where the crowds with cheer, when they see my face, and a voice keeps saying this is where I'm meant to be."

I paused and looked around, blinking. I thought I'd heard something, but dismissed it after a moment. I hadn't heard a door open, so I knew it wasn't a dwarf. If it was a hobbit, I wouldn't have been able to hear anything. As for Gandalf, he had far too large of a presence to be missed. So I settled back and continued the song. "I will find my way, I can go the distance. I'll be there someday, if I can be strong. I know every mile will be with my while. I would go most anywhere to feel like I… belong…."

"An interesting sentiment." I'm fairly certain that was the universe flipping me off for making assumptions. Thorin's voice made me jump like a trillion feet in the air and I'm pretty sure that, if I'd been inside, I'd be clinging to the roof like a cat in those old cartoons. For what felt like forever but was probably only a few heartbeats, I gaped up at the dwarf king because dwarves aren't meant to be the ninjas of Middle Earth God dammit. Thorin had a small, tiny smirk on his face that I could really only make out by the light of the moon. "Apologies. I did not mean to startle you."

My voice was higher pitched than normally when I responded. "What, me? Startled? Perish the thought. I'm totally unflappable. Can't flap me, nope nope nope!" He stared down at me with a quirked eyebrow and said nothing. The silence stretched on for so long that I started fidgeting and darting my eyes around. Finally I sighed and looked away. "Okay, spit it out. What do you want?"

Thorin sat down next to me, far more graceful and majestic than anyone had the right to be. Fucking shithead showoff. "I have questions. Gandalf is either unwilling to answer them or unable and 'suggested' I ask you." He was far too dignified for air quotes but the emphasis was there! "First and most important, what are your intentions for my sister-sons?"

Aw, overprotective Papa dwarf is adorable. Not that I'd ever tell him that. "Not what you're probably thinking, I can tell you that. I mean don't get me wrong, the both of them are Hella attractive. Kili especially. I mean I have a weakness for blue eyes and blonde hair and Fili is like the prime example of babe, but Kili, omg. The smirk, the hair, the build! Don't even get me started on the beard. Like I know you guys pride yourselves on luxurious facial hair but I frankly prefer short ones. Not like yours, yours is too prickly, but Kili's is just right. Ooh, I wonder what his abs look like? Does he have a six pack or an eight pack? I actually like six packs more because it means they're active but not so much that they'd want me to be active because let me tell you I am one of the laziest shits you will ever meet and I probably shouldn't have told you that because you're in charge but oh well, it's out there now."

Jesus freaking Christ when did babbly Katie appear? Thorin was visibly disturbed by the topic and I seriously could not blame him. Nervous energy made me tap my fingers on the ground and bounce my knee but I absolutely refused to speak before he did for fear of more projectile word vomit spewing forth.

It felt like an eternity for Thorin to respond. The only hint to his thoughts was his facial expressions, and the most I got out of that was the occasional twitch of his cheek. I desperately hoped I hadn't given him mental images. Then his jaw firmed and his eyes narrowed, apparently driving out whatever thoughts had been going through his head. "You are not allowed to be alone with either of them. Ever. Under pain of death." The tone he used was the one leaders always used, the stern one that doomed anyone who dared to disagree with his order.

… And now I have the mental image of Thorin singing the Doom Song. God fucking damn it. That pretty much murdered my thought process and without thinking of how it sounded I asked, "What if I'm with both of them? Does that count as alone?" He made a small distressed sound and I realized how that could be taken. If nobody heard the spastic squawking from inside I will sincerely be utterly amazed. "No no no, not like that! I swear to God I'm not that kind of girl! I'm a one-man pony. No wait that could be taken wrong too. Um…" Good Lord could this GET any more awkward?

The answer? Yes. Yes it could. "Uncle, Katie, are you out here?" Why, Fili? Just, just why? "Look if I'm interrupting anything I can just go back inside but Dwalin was wondering where you two were and Balin said Katie was out here and Gandalf said that Uncle was asking about her so I thought maybe you'd be out here together." I half-stood to get his attention but Thorin put a hand on my arm, bidding me to sit back down. I did, curious, and copied Thorin as he made himself as small as he could against the grassy rooftop of Bad End. "No? You're not? Uh… well this is awkward…" Blondie, you have no idea. "I'll just… go back inside then? Uh… yeah…"

One second, three seconds, then five seconds passed until I heard a door close. I puffed out a sigh so heavy it ruffled the grass blades in front of me and slumped bonelessly. Thorin rose from his crouch to reclaim his earlier position. We sat in a surprisingly comfortable silence before I rolled onto my side, shooting a quick grin up at him. "Well could be worse. It could've been Kili who came out." Thorin gave a snort, but I couldn't tell if it was in agreement or contempt at my optimism. "So why did you stop me from answering? You're not gonna ask after my intentions for Erdwalin, are you?"

I hoped the staring wasn't going to be an ongoing thing, because it was starting to get annoying. The mask was in place, not telling me anything about what was going through his head. Then in the universal strangled voice of someone trying desperately to not laugh, he choked out, "Erdwalin?"

My grin was immediate. I should have known that Dwalin wouldn't have filled him in. I launched into a dramatic retelling of my day, starting from when Gandalf and I walked up to Bag End. I included impressions and hand gestures, to make it more engaging. I'm not a story teller, not in the slightest, but there's a difference between telling a story and trying to make someone laugh. I held nothing back, not even my abysmal cooking skills which I felt was necessary for him to know.

When I got to the origin of the nickname, Thorin placed his forehead to his knee and took large breaths, clenching and unclenching his hands into fists to keep his composure. I stopped speaking and poked his bicep, curious what reaction he'd give. The only one I noticed was a minor twitch before he rolled one hand in the air. "Continue. I want to hear the rest."

I did as he said, hesitating when it came to the boys' introduction. I didn't want to get them in trouble. But Thorin urged me on and slowly the story unspun. He looked torn between horror and hilarity at their game of Pass The Katie, and I resolved to apologize to the boys for whatever shit their uncle will eventually dump on them.

The tale eventually ended with Thorin's own entrance. Thankfully he allowed me to stop there, because my voice had gotten scratchy from dryness. Thorin passed me a waterskin without a word and I sniffed it suspiciously, half expecting it to be some type of booze. But this was Thorin, not Bofur, and I got nothing but water when I sipped at it. Thorin nodded when I gave it back with a grateful grin. "So did that answer your question?"

Thorin didn't even hesitate before giving a brief but firm nod. "That and more. You've no romantic inclinations towards my sister-sons. You're an idiot. You have absolutely zero survival skills, and if I had any sense whatsoever I'd leave you here where you'd be safe." He held up a hand to forestall any of my protests and waited until I've reluctantly closed my mouth to continue. "However, I have also seen your kindness, and your loyalty, and the trust my men have in you. My nephews are naive and unused to the ways of the world. Dwalin, however, is another matter entirely. He has been to Hell and back, and has been as cheated and lied to as I have. For whatever reason, he is on your side, and that's worth far more than you know."

I wanted to speak, to thank him for the kind words or even deny them, but my tongue felt tied. It was like Gandalf had made me mute again. All I could do was duck my head with what felt like my entire body aflame with embarrassment. Thorin must have understood, for he stood and offered me a hand. "Come. It's getting late, and we have an early start tomorrow."

Ugh, that's right. I forgot the whole 'we leave at first light' thing he had going. Whatever good impression the company had of me would wither and die once they realized how grouchy I could be in the morning. "For the record, I hate everything about waking up early and will not be held responsible for any cuts, bruises, or bite marks that may occur." He was visibly undecided on if I was kidding or not, and I made very sure my smile did not give away any hints. Let him stew. It will make it that much funnier when the morning comes.

To my extreme excitement, the Company was already gathered in front of the fireplace with their pipes out. All activity and sound ceased when we entered, and I schooled my features into a serious frown like Thorin's. I nodded at him like I was confirming an agreement, and we went our separate ways.

Fili and Kili were sitting together against the wall, passing a single pipe back and forth between them. I half expected one of them to offer it to me, but was grateful when neither did. Last thing I wanted was for them to think me a prude, with not drinking or smoking. I chose to sit next to Kili, big surprise, and he gave me a slightly accusatory look. It wouldn't surprise me if he thought I'd avoided him on purpose. I mean I totally did, but that was besides the point. I shrugged helplessly and whispered, "Don't blame me. Your uncle ambushed me when I went outside and interrogated me. I'm not entirely sure I passed, either. The dwarf shows about as much emotion as a brick wall."

He covered a snort with a cough, and just like that I was forgiven. He nudged my arm with his elbow, prompting an elbow war that only ended when Fili shoved his brother into me. Kili and I glared at him, but Fili glared back. "Knock it off you two." he muttered. "Normally I'm all for shenanigans, but now is not the time."

Kili ducked his head in regretful silence, but I was genuinely curious. I mean I knew what was about to happen, but was it a common occurrence? Did they always sing their song when they went out? But no, dwarves had that thing about keeping their secrets away from outsiders… right? I mean most of what I know of their culture comes from fanfictions, and I know that's not very reliable, but they couldn't ALL have gotten it wrong, right? I hope not, because that means any information I had would be useless.

Soon the only sounds were the crackling of the fire and the puffing of smoke. The first one to start humming was Thorin, and at once I was transfixed. The others all joined in with their own humming, harmonizing until my very core vibrated with them. As soon as Thorin started singing he was the only one in the room I heard. "Far over the Misty Mountains cold… To dungeons deep and caverns old. We must away, 'ere break of day, to find our long forgotten gold."

The others all joined in, even Fili and Kili, and immediately I vowed to make the both of them sing more often. They sounded better in real life than they had in the movie! "The pines were roaring, ooooon the height. The winds were moaning in the night! The fire was red, it flaming spread, the trees like torches blazed with light."

A solemn silence came after that, with everybody being in their own thoughts. I spoke softly so as not to disturb the mood. "Wow… That was beautiful…" A few of the dwarves smiled at me while others ducked their heads. "Can I just… Can I ask a serious question?" They all turned to me, even Thorin, and I could see the expectation and resignation in them all. They totally knew I was about to say something stupid, and who was I to disappoint them? With all the seriousness of a serious person, I pointed right at Thorin and asked to everyone, "How does such a beautiful voice belong to a face like that?"

Snickers and snorts broke out, but none snickered more than Dwalin. Thorin barked something at him in Khuzdul that only made him laugh harder. You didn't have to know who they were to recognize just how close the two were. Thorin whirled on me with the fiercest glare I'd ever received, and only having Kili next to me kept me from squirming. "If you think you can do better then please, go right ahead! I'll not have you mocking the hopes of my people unless you can back it up!"

… Did… Did Thorin just inadvertently challenge me to a sing off? Because that's what it sounded like. Everyone stopped laughing to look curiously back and forth between him and myself. I hummed to myself, not a song but a thoughtful noise. I was never one to turn down the chance to sing.

But what could I choose that would stir the heart as much as their prayer song? It would obviously have to have the element of 'home' in it. Perhaps Taking You Home, from the second Balto movie? I know all the words to that. But no, it didn't have that sentimental punch to the gut the moment needed. Home, by Thousand Foot Krutch? Pff, good luck. I barely know even a quarter of the lyrics.

What about… Temporary Home would certainly work! Decision made, I closed my eyes and started to sing. "Little boy, six years old. A little too used to being alone. Another new mom and dad, another school, another house that will never be home. When people ask him how he likes this place, he looks up and says with a smile upon his face…

"This is my temporary home, it's not where I belong. Windows and rooms that I'm passing through. This is just a stop, on the way the where I'm going. I'm not afraid because I know this is my temporary home."

Nobody made a peep and I grew nervous. Usually when I sang in front of people it wasn't about sounding good, it was about having fun. Who cared how good I sounded when everyone was too busy laughing? That wasn't the case, and I was almost too nervous to continue. Almost.

"Young mom on her own. Needs a little help, got nowhere to go. She's looking for a job, looking for a way out, cuz a halfway house will never be a home. At night she whispers to her baby girl, someday we'll find a place here in this world."

There was a short, sharp intake from multiple places around the room. Yeah, I thought that part would get to them. A smile danced on my face as I want through the chorus again. "This is our temporary home, it's not where we belong. Windows and rooms, that we're passing through. This is just a stop on the way to where we're going. Don't be afraid because I know, this is our temporary home."

Were those the right words? I didn't know, but they felt right for that part of the song. The next part, to me, was the most important, and I needed the dwarves to know that. I put as much feeling into my voice as I could.

"Old man, hospital bed. The room is filled with people he loves. And he whispers don't cry for me, I'll see you all some day. He looks up and says, 'I can see God's face'...

"This was my temporary home, it's not where I belong. Windows and rooms, that I have passed through. This was just a stop on the way to where I'm going. I'm not afraid because I know… This was my temporary home…"

Normally there would be a bunch of hums and repeats of temporary home, but it wouldn't sound right without music to accompany it. Slowly I opened my eyes and looked around the room. Dori actually looked suspiciously wet-eyed, while everyone else was either looking down or puffing on their pipes.

It took a while for somebody to break the silence. The longer it took, the more I hunched my shoulders and shrank back, trying to fade into Kili's shadow.

The first to speak was Dwalin, surprisingly enough. Even more surprising, he spoke in Khuzdul, and the only reason he'd have to do that is if he didn't want me to know what was being said. He was addressing Thorin while looking at me, and both warriors had expressions that I couldn't decipher. Thorin inclined his head, as if considering what his friend had said.

Then Dwalin spoke again and Thorin's head snapped around to glare at him. The conversation proceeded between them, with me being the only one not knowing what the hell was going on.

Then Thorin planted his feet, squared his shoulders, and looked Dwalin right in the eyes. He spoke one word, one clear word that needed absolutely no translation. "Erdwalin." Most of the Company were perplexed at the sudden glare thrown at me by Dwalin, even more when Thorin smirked and Balin, Fili, and Kili all coughed and shook with laughter. This wouldn't have been odd in the boys' case, they laughed at damn near everything, but Balin was another matter entirely.

Dwalin looked almost ready to lunge at Thorin in a tackle. I didn't think before taking the largest object nearby, Kili's discarded boot, and chucked it between them. The two stopped staring at each other and instead turned to stare at me. "So hey here's a suggestion. How's about we DON'T break Bilbo's smial, yeah? After all the shit he's put up with today, I think he deserves at least a LITTLE courtesy, don'cha think?"

A beat, and Thorin nodded. "Indeed. We should all get some sleep. We leave early in the morning." There were various groans and mutters of 'fucking tyrant' but that was mostly from Dwalin who's probably the only one who could get away with it, and everybody shuffled off towards their own bags. Which brings me to an awkward realization that Jesus fuck I'm going to be sleeping next to a bunch of strange smelly hairy dwarves and how the fuck am I ever going to get to sleep?

Even back home I had problems falling asleep. I wouldn't call it insomnia or anything like that, but there were times when my brain simply refused to turn itself off until the wee hours of the morning, and if Thorin was serious about waking up at dawn- and fuck him because I KNEW he was- then it's very liable I will fall off my pony by lunch.

Something of my litany of mental cursing must have shown because Kili took a quick look at me, turned away, then snapped his head back to stare up at me. "Either you're using every curse word you know in your head or you just seriously need the bathroom. And I'm not all that sure which one I'd prefer…"

The uncertain and mildly disturbed look on his shaggy face made me snicker, despite my inner turmoil. I flopped down half on top of him, making no movement to suggest I'd move away. My bags were in another room, but I didn't think I'd need any of it tonight. "It's more of the first one, but it's mostly aimed at your uncle with the 'we start at first light thing'. Just, ugh. Why FIRST light? Why not second? First is the worst, seconds the best, third is the one with the hairy chest!"

A laugh on my other side alerted me to Fili's presence as well, and I naturally contorted myself until at least one part of my body was touching either brother. They didn't seem to mind it either. "You're so weird, where do you even come up with these phrases?" I grinned mysteriously and winked at him, not saying a word. Fili shook his head with a wry grin. "I will get it out of you one day, I swear it." Go ahead and try, Blondie. You'd have to pry the truth from my cold dead body… which would be incredibly counterproductive.

Kili yawned widely and pressed his forehead to the crown of my head. Giving no care to the hair that must've been in his mouth, he mumbled, "Which reminds me. What were you doing earlier, when you nodded at him?"

I grinned to myself before replying. "Making a pass at your thrice-my-age uncle." Both boys huffed a laugh but were apparently too knackered for much more witty banter, their eyes slowly fluttering shut. Some maternal part of me roared to life and I placed a soft kiss on whichever part of them I could reach. "Sleep well, lovelies. I'll be here in the morning."