Disclaimer: Glee doesn't belong to me I'm afraid . I wish

Thank you for all of the reviews I take all of them into consideration don't worry :) And thank you to those who have been reading this since the beginning. I hope it's still turned out well and that you are still enjoying it! Here is the next chapter :)

Chapter Thirteen

Santana was laying in bed feeling awful. Ever since she had eaten that ice cream and McDonalds with Brittany, she had felt horrible. She had been throwing up all morning which meant she couldn't go into school. She had already text Brittany about her not feeling well so she knew that she wouldn't be there. She couldn't help but feel bad for leaving her though because they did hang out a lot during school hours so for her to just not go in was quite unusual. Her parents wanted her to attend school as much as possible since they were very big on her getting a job that paid a lot of money like a lawyer or a doctor. She didn't even want to be any of those. It took up too much time and with all of the studying she would be doing then where des her social life fall? She wouldn't even have one and she enjoyed socialising and hanging out with her friends. She wasn't going to allow her parents to choose her career for her though. It was her life and she was going to live it the way she wanted to and not the way they had planned it out. She had already been deprived of eating junk food and she didn't want to have her life taken away from her too. When she heard about Brittany and her motocross she was inspired by her. Just from looking at her she could tell she would be an amazing racer and even though she knew Brittany was a great racer now and looked happy where she was, Santana couldn't help but imagine her becoming a star with it. Well it was either that or dancing. She had caught the blonde dancing in the choir room and she was amazing. For someone so quiet, she showed off her personality through other things she does. For example when she can't do work she sits there and doodles in her book. She had seen the doodles she does and they're actually really good. She's done bubble writing before an she had to admit , it looked just like it should. Then she had drawn animals such as a cat and dog. She even shocked her when she saw her drawing a person. Santana could tell she could do art but she wasn't in her art class to do it. The only reason for that was because she couldn't draw at all. Literally, when she draws people she draws stick people.

When Santana looked at herself that morning in the mirror, she looked pale and ill. She was never usually ill due to her diet but today, she looked awful. She knew she looked awful without make up on anyway, but not usually as bad as now. She looked pale and she just felt sick in general. She hadn't told her parents about eating the ice cream and McDonalds as they would not be very happy with her but, in her opinion, it is her life so they can't say anything. Santana knew for a fact that her mami only started eating healthy after meeting her papi. Before that she ate junk food too. So, to be honest, how can her mami tell her not to eat it when she did herself? Santana was looking at a magazine when her phone went off. She reached over picking it up and smiled after seeing who it is.

From Britt-Britt: Hey San! I have a free period now and Sam has gone out the room so I decided to see how you were feeling. How is my favourite person? Shhh don't tell Rachel ;) xx

Santana laughed a little. Brittany never failed to make her smile. It was just the way she is. Brittany was such a happy person she couldn't help but smile when they were together. Or even just texting. It was as though Brittany had no reason to feel sad even though Santana knew that there was something she was hiding from her. She didn't want to butt in Brittany's life since it was none of her business but she just wanted her to feel like she can open up to her.

To Britt-Britt: Hey Britt :) I'm glad you text me I am super bored and I feel awful. I have been sick at least 4 times today and I don't seem to be getting better. That's what I get for being nice and taking you out for ice cream :P xx

From Britt-Britt: San why did you take me out there if you can't eat it?! That was silly of you. We could have gone somewhere else you know. I hear Breadstix is good! xx

To Britt-Britt: Oh my god Breadstix is awesome! I shall take you there next time :D And well that's not my fault. I felt like being nice to you that day. My parents would kill me though so if you meet them don't say anything. It'll be our little secret :) xx

From Britt-Britt: Ooo I can totally keep that secret for you. I am a super dooper secret keeper! Well the not talking does help at keeping secrets :P xx

To Britt-Britt: Haha yes that is true :) xx

From Britt-Britt: Damn, Sam is back. Gotta go. I'll call round later, okay? xx

To Britt-Britt: Can't wait :) xx

Santana put her phone down and sighed. She really liked the blonde but she didn't want to come on too strong. Plus, since she can't touch her she didn't want to freak her out. Santana really wanted to be able to hug Brittany and hold her hand but she knew that Brittany needed to work on that and, as much as she wanted to do those things, good things come to those that wait. She knew she wanted to talk to Brittany about getting help with her anxiety to touch people and speaking but if she just told Brittany to go and get help, it most likely wouldn't happen. It was always best to go at these things with caution because one thing that Santana didn't want was Brittany getting scared and getting further into her anxiety. Overall, Brittany was happy and Santana could tell that but one thing can always knock a person down. Santana heard her stomach rumble so she got up and walked down the stairs to the kitchen to get herself a sandwich. Santana heard the door and knew her mami was home. She decided to make her sandwich quickly so she could avoid conversation with her mother as it never turned out well. Her name was Maribel and she had been married to her husband for 20 years. They met when Maribel was 20 and got married when she was 25. It was love at first sight for her and she wouldn't ever regret it. The man made her life better. Santana saw her mother walk into the kitchen as she turned around putting the plate on the counter.

"What are you doing home?" Santana asked cutting her sandwich.

"I finished work early but why are you home?" Maribel asked walking into the kitchen putting her keys on the counter turning to her daughter. "You should be at school."

"I felt ill" Santana turned around not wanting to look at her mother since she felt like she was going to throw up. "But I told you that this morning that I felt ill so I shouldn't have to tell you again."

"I didn't think you were telling the truth Santana because you are never ill." Maribel confessed because it was true. None of the family were ever ill since they always ate healthily and they didn't do anything to become ill. So for her daughter to stand there and say she's ill was a bit of a shock. "How did you get ill anyway?"

Santana shrugs making a drink drinking it slowly. She didn't want her mami to find out the real reason or she'd definitely be in the wrong with her parents and that wasn't what she wanted. "Don't know. I'm gonna go lie down. When a blonde girl knocks on the door just let her in. She doesn't talk." With that, Santana walked upstairs to her bedroom. Maybe getting a couple of hours sleep would be better before Brittany got there since she would probably look better than she does now. Santana decided on that and got into bed and after a few minutes fell asleep. Maybe sleep was needed after all.

Santana heard a faint buzzing in the background. She groaned opening her eyes looking around. Well she had fallen asleep for one but what was the noise that had woke her up? Santana yawned sitting up rubbing her eyes looking around to find her phone buzzing on the bedside table. She reached over and answered the phone.

"Hello?" Santana asked to hear the line go dead. She huffed putting the phone on the side when she heard the buzzing again. She picked her phone up looking at it to find a text from Brittany. Now she got why she had hung up. She phoned her to get her attention. Smart.

From Britt-Britt: Hey San! Glad to see you are awake. Well I am sorry about waking you actually. I was just wondering what your address was because you never gave it to me so I tried texting you but you didn't reply so I had to ring you and when you answered I hung up since I don't talk and yeah. Sorry for waking you up if you were sleeping :( xx

Santana couldn't help but laugh at the message. Brittany was so adorable at times which is why she was glad they were friends. She didn't know what she would do without her sometimes. She definitely made the day better when she was having a bad one. Santana shook her head in amusement and replied to the blonde.

To Britt-Britt: Calm down and breathe. You are fine don't worry and I have to say it was smart of you to ring me. I was sleeping yes but I want to see you more so come on over. My address is 57 Charleston Road in Lima Heights. Know where that is? xx

Santana sat up in bed feeling better. For some reason sleeping always made her feel better no matter how she was feeling before she fell asleep. Once she had a migraine and she felt awful but when she fell asleep she felt fine afterwards. She didn't get why her mother always told her that this family didn't get ill because she had been ill on a number of occasions but she always tried to keep that information away from her parents. The only reason for that was that they wanted a perfect family. Julian was off at college so there was just her and her parents in the house but they wanted everything perfect. Their house was the same. If someone was to walk into the Lopez house they would think it was just like a showing gallery or something like that. A house where you can look but can't touch. Yeah, that was what the house looked like. Santana heard her phone vibrate again. She smiled knowing who it was and read the message.

From Britt-Britt: Oh thank god. I felt awful thinking I disturbed you from your dreams. I bet you have awesome dreams, right? Okay yes, I know where that is. So I shall see you soon! I missed you at school today you know. Not even Rachel could take your slot and she's my best friend. Anyway I will see you soon. I will go this time. Don't reply or I will stand here and text you. I have a problem with having to stop and text people. It's because I bump into things otherwise. There was this one time...okay no I will go now. I will tell you when I get there. See you soon! 3rd time's the charm ;) xx

She put her phone down and got up going to her wardrobe. She didn't want to look bad when Brittany came over. She needed to look decent so she looked through her clothes to find some clothes to wear. It usually took Santana a while to find something to wear but luckily today wasn't one of those days. She picked a pair of skinny jeans, a tight, white top and a black jacket to go over the top. Well now she was dressed she didn't took terrible. Saying that Santana had gotten out of bed a few minutes ago, the clothes she had on made her look pretty hot. Always a bonus when trying to impress a girl. Well...was she trying to impress Brittany? Santana knew she was attracted to her but did she want to impress her? Well that was a stupid question. Of course she did. Brittany always looked hot so she wanted to do the same. To impress her. She smiled at herself in the mirror once she sorted her hair out so it looked decent. Before she knew it she heard the doorbell ring. She took one last look at herself before she heard her mother calling her to answer the door so she walked downstairs to the front door, takes a deep breath then opens it to see the blonde smiling at her with her school bag over her shoulder. Brittany looked beautiful.

"Hey San. You look great." Brittany blushed looking down after realising what she had said then got some books out of her bag handing them to the Latina. "I brought you your Maths homework from lesson too plus some DVDs I watch when I'm ill so I thought we could watch them together."

Santana took the books from the blonde and smiled. "Thanks Britt. Sorry, come on in."

Brittany walked into the house and looked around. She remembers it from the night she slept here when they came back from the party. It was a very big house and she remembered that which is how she knew it was the right one. The pair of them walked upstairs to Santana's bedroom so they didn't have to talk to Santana's mom. Not that Santana didn't love her, but seeing as Brittany was new to all of this she wanted to make sure it was kept as hassle free as possible.

"I still can't get over how dark your room is" Brittany commented looking around the room. "Do you not get scared?"

She shook her head closing her bedroom door. Even as a child Santana wasn't scared of the dark. It just never bothered her since she liked dark colours anyway. Whenever a picture was drawn at school or playgroup, only dark colours like black, purple and dark blue were used. Her parents got used to it and started telling her how good the picture was and put them up on the fridge, but that was only after them getting used to the idea that their daughter didn't like using bright colours.

"Nope I have never really liked bright colours. Which is why I am only really seen in dark colours. Unless you count red as bright then that is the only bright colour I wear because I look hot." Santana smirked walking to her bed laying down. "So you brought some DVDs with you?"

The blonde grinned and got them out of her bag putting them on the side. "Yes I got Dear John, Marley And Me, Beauty And The Beast and also Aladdin. I like them all because I don't pick favourites since I don't think that is fair to all the other DVDs in my collection."

Santana smiles. It was cute when she said things like that and she felt herself getting better already. Well that's the effect she had on her. She watched as the blonde got settled into her room looking at the DVDs she brought with her. Santana wanted to just go over there and hug her but she was not about to freak her out. It was hard having a crush on someone who didn't liked to be touched. She had to be careful about what she did and how she did things but the girl was worth it.

"How about we watch Aladdin? I haven't watched that in a while." Santana suggested whilst watching the blonde haired beauty try and choose a DVD without success. Okay, yes that was definitely her new name for Brittany. It suited her definitely. She saw her blue eyes light up and her head nod excitedly practically rushing to her DVD player. Luckily, her room was clean. Santana liked to be able to walk around her room without everything getting in the way. She watched as the blonde tried to figure out how to work the DVD player but without success. Santana shook her head and chuckled getting up and kneeling beside her turning on the DVD player. She didn't notice how close they were until she looked to the side after putting the DVD in. Brittany looked at the brunette. She looked so beautiful up close and all she wanted to do was kiss her. She wanted to get over the fear of not being able to have people touch her. She knew she could do it but she knew she would need a lot of support for this to happen. But looking at her now, she looked beautiful. She had never seen someone as beautiful as Santana before. She felt her heart begin to race. Why was she feeling like this? Her hands felt sweaty which usually meant that she was on the verge of having a panic attack, but it was different. Her mouth felt dry and she didn't want to look away from the woman in front of her. But suddenly fear started to overtake her. Santana was too close and she knew that if they went any further she would end up touching her. Brittany backed away and looked down signing. "Sorry."

Santana sighed. She thought that maybe they could have got somewhere but obviously not. They both got up and sat on the bed beside one another but with a gap big enough for Brittany to not freak out over it. Santana had to admit that this film was a classic. It was a classic Disney film and even though she would never admit it, she liked them. Santana turned her head and looked at Brittany as she watched the DVD that was on. It was obvious that the girl loved Disney films and even though foe many people it couldn't be seen as normal, she loved it as it showed her young side which isn't seen in a lot of people as they grow older. Brittany felt eyes on her so she turned to see Santana staring. She smiled.

"What are you looking at?" Brittany asked putting the DVD case down on the bed.

"Nothing," Santana responded, "just at the view in front of me."

"Oh yeah? What view is that?" Brittany asked her lips forming into a smirk.

Santana felt her heart beat faster and before she knew it she had already spoken what she wanted to say before she could stop herself. "You."

Brittany felt her heart beat faster . She was looking at her and was enjoying looking at her? Santana, who she had a crush on, was looking at her and was enjoying it? If Brittany hadn't been happy before, she certainly was now. She blushed and looked down at her hands smiling looking back up at Santana. She looked at Santana and moved to kneel looking at her. She looked at her not being able to look away.

"Can you do me a favour?" Brittany asked curiously. She was going to do this. She had to now or she never would. She had to try.

Santana looked back looking at her curiously then smiled and nodded. "Of course. What do you want me to do?"

Brittany took a deep breath looking into her eyes. "I want to try something. Just...stay still okay?"

Santana looked Brittany in the eyes then nodded wondering what she was going to do. Brittany had never been more nervous than she was right now. She had to do this though. For herself. If she could do this then she knew she would be able to go further on recovering and getting better. This was the first step that Brittany knew she had to take. She had to do this. For herself. And also for everyone around her who wanted her to get better. But the main person she wanted to do this for was Santana because she had seen the way she looked at her. Her eyes always showed how much she wanted to touch her. Brittany felt bad for Santana because she had to stop herself from touch her. Brittany wanted Santana to touch her but she knew she'd freak out so she knew starting to touch her was a first step. Baby steps was best. She knew after not touching anyone for 9 years she wasn't going to be able to go up to someone and hug them. It wasn't that simple. She saw Santana watching her curiously and that she had stayed still like she asked. Brittany took a deep breath and nodded and lifted her hand up moving it towards Santana. She saw Santana's eyes widen in shock and she knew she wasn't expecting this and, if she was being honest, she didn't either. Brittany focused on clearing her thoughts of fear and moved her hand towards Santana's cheek slowly. Slow was best so she didn't freak out even more and end up not doing it. She watched her hand and tried to only focus on herself. She had to. It might be selfish to do that but it was the only way she would be able to do this. Brittany watched her hand hover over Santana's cheek so she took the last step. She moved her fingertips slowly over the Latina's cheek moving them from her ear down to her jaw. She couldn't believe what she was doing but to be able to that with someone was incredible. Santana is the first person she had even thought about touching and now she was. Knelt next to her tracing her fingers over her cheek. She glanced at Santana's face to see her reaction. Santana had her eyes closed and she wasn't moving just like Brittany asked. She couldn't believe Brittany was touching her. She knew it must have taken a lot of courage to do what she was doing currently and Santana couldn't be more proud of her. Brittany smiled down at Santana and watched as she opened her eyes to look at her. Santana's brown eyes were looking into Brittany's blue ones whilst she caressed Santana's cheek. She loved the feeling of Santana's warm cheek under her fingers and Santana loved feeling Brittany's fingers move over her cheek. The both of them couldn't be happier over what was happening right now.

After a while Brittany finally extracted her hand from Santana's cheek. She smiled looking at her hand. She had done it. She had finally touched someone. It was only a small step to some people but to her, it was a big deal. She had touched someone. And on top of that, she had touched the one person she had a crush on. That made it much better in her opinion. She looked up to see Santana looking at her with a smile on her face. Santana was in as much shock and happiness as Brittany. She couldn't believe it had happened since she knew touching someone was a big deal for her. She smiled up at Brittany,

"You have no idea how proud I am of you for doing that." Santana praised smiling at her. "That was a big step and you took it."

Brittany blushed and smiled then looked up at Santana. "I know. I just...after what you said to me about looking at me and enjoying what you were looking at, it just sparked something inside me. I knew it was now or never so I just...went for it."

Santana smiled. "Well I am glad you did because now you have taken that step you can work on building on that. Is that what you want to do?"

She knew she wanted to. She wanted to do this for Santana. For everyone and especially herself. She wanted to get better because she knew that the way she was now wasn't the way she should be living. Brittany nodded. "I want to get better but I can't do this alone. Will you support me through this? I need you."

Santana sat up and looked at her straight in the eyes. "I would never leave you, Brittany. I'll support you through it all, I promise. You can overcome this. I believe in you."

Being told someone believes in you is a huge deal since it shows that they do think you can do something. It makes you feel a lot better and that is how Brittany felt when she heard Santana tell her that. She knew she could do this and with Santana by her side and her other friends, she knew it would be easier to overcome the barrier that was built up at the moment. From now on, she was going to focus on knocking that barrier down. For Santana, her friends, and the main one. Herself.

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