Disclaimer: Hey! Arnold still does not belong to me.

HA

The wing remained astonishingly quiet as the pair sat together, enjoying their moment. Nuzzling her breast affectionately, Thaddeus renewed his attempts to woo her as his fingers absentmindedly tangled in her necklace. Her own fingers were too busy caressing his scalp to stop him.

"Marry me."

Her fingers stilled, and with a nervous feeling settling in the pit of his stomach he lifted his eyes in an attempt to meet hers. Her own dark orbs were trained on a spot across the stage, and for a minute he was afraid she was shutting down due to some sort of tragic memory.

"When?" her voice nothing more than a quite whispered, Thaddeus felt his heart soar nonetheless.

"Now. I can get my sister and her lover as witnesses. Please Rhonda, say you'll marry me." He caught her eyes and felt immediate relief as he watched a smile bloom. A full on, love-sick-sucker grin.

"I'll need a dress, unless you expect me to attend my own wedding in nothing at all." Laughing, Thaddeus tore himself from her embrace to stand only to pull her into his arms again. Spinning in bliss, they forgot for a minute where they were – simply enjoying the moment for what it was.

"We can take a dress from the costume shop, no one will miss it for an hour or two." She froze, taking her time to think his offer over before nodding.

"Alright." Kissing her with renewed vigor he set her down to zip up his trousers. Turning in the direction of the costume shop, both were surprised to see Jolene standing in the wing. Arms crossed with Ted at her side, her face betrayed nothing while his bore a large grin.

"Joe . . ." The younger Gammelthorpe moved slowly toBaileys his sister, one hand outstretched in peace while the other held tightly to Rhonda's own. The dark eyes of his elder flitted toBailey their joined hands before travelling up to meet his eyes once more.

"Come on, we need to find you a dress fit for a Queen – and it's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding." Without a second thought Jolene moved and took Rhonda's arm, pulling her gently into the wing and up the stairs into the costume shop. Ted laughed and threw his arm around Thaddeus's shoulders, ushering him toBaileys the exit.

While they were still in earshot, Jolene leaned her head out the door and shouted out her last instructions.

"Give us ten minutes and we'll meet you at the municipal's office!"

"Come on Thaddeus, let's head to the Sector Office and secure that marriage permit." Thaddeus let himself be led down the stairs on out onto the dark streets. Where he normally would be apprehensive about walking around so brazenly in the open, with Ted it seemed like he was invincible, he had nothing to fear. It could have been from the feeling that he was going to marry the beautiful Rhonda. It could have been because Ted was a big shot wise guy and the SSCA were less concerned about wise guys than they were about the average citizen.

It was probably both.

Before Thaddeus realized – or was ready – the pair was standing outside the Sector Eight Municipal Office. It only took a single deep breath and a playful nudge from Ted to break him of his trance and ascend the stairs. The door opened with little effort, and he was hit with a blast of deceptively warm air.

Three fans on the ceiling were spinning at medium speed, and most of the desks inside had fans currently running. No one looked up from their desks – it was as if Thaddeus didn't exist. There were no lines, no indicator signs where he should go; just desks lined up in rows facing the door, with a single larger one in the very back.

"Walter!" the sound of Ted's voice breaking the lulling noise of typewriters working furiously made Thaddeus jump. All heads looked up from their labor to see what was the cause of the interruption. The large man occupying the large desk in the back stood up, and all the heads resumed their tasks.

"Ted, what a surprise! Come, come!" he ushered them over, and Thaddeus was again surprised that as he and Ted weaver their way through the desks, no one looked up.

"Walt, this is Thaddeus Gammelthorpe; Thaddeus, this is Mr. Walter Bailey, head of this fine establishment." Ted removed his hat and set it on the great desk, hand sliding through his hair in a practiced motion. He sat in one of the offered chairs are Thaddeus shook hands with Mr. Bailey and sat in the other.

"Pleasure to meet you Mr. Bailey." The bulky man waved off the formalities as he offered both men a drink of amber liquid from a bottle in the top drawer of the desk. Both accepted gratefully.

"Walter suits me perfectly fine young Gammelthorpe. Now what brings you in today?" Pouring himself a drink as well, Walter Bailey sat back in his chair and eyed them with suspicion thinly veiled in approachability.

"Well Walt, Thaddeus here needs a marriage permit fast, we're hoping you could hook him up."

The older man smiled genuinely this time, knowing now that Ted wasn't there on a job from his Boss. Reaching into the top drawer, he pulled a form out from under the bourbon bottle. Shaking it a few times for prosperity, he fed it into his typewriter and pulled out a pair of glasses from his breast pocket.

"You know marriage permits take up to six weeks to process. I have to send them up to my Boss, who has to make sure all the information is correct, everyone is who they say they are, and they are allowed to marry. You know, ducks all in a row and whatnot." Here he paused his typing and made eye contact with first Ted and then Thaddeus over the rim of his glasses. Ted leaned back in his chair and took a slow sip of his drink.

"I'm sure we can work something out."

That answer seemed good enough for Walt, who nodded and began typing once again.

"Alright, let's see. Groom?"

"Thaddeus Edwin Gammelthorpe." The harsh click-click-click of the machine in front of them was echoed by all the typewriters behind them.

"Bride?"

"Rhonda, uh, I don't know -"

"Rhonda Smith. Excellent. Ages?"

"Groom is 25 and the Bride is, uh –"

"21, delightful. Sectors?"

At this moment Ted interjected, casting a meaningful glance at Thaddeus from the corner of his eye.

"Both are from Sector Eight." Mr. Bailey paused and looked over the rim of his glasses once again. For a moment no one moved. Then, slowly, he resumed his typing. Thaddeus could hear every pronounced click of each letter on the paper ringing in his ears.

Sector Eight.

Pulling the nearly completed form free, Walter lay it on the desk in front of him and took another drink of his bourbon.

"Now it is simply a matter of signatures. I will need one from you, the young lady intended, witnesses, and of course myself as the officiator. Now, where is the young lady?"

As if on cue, the front doors opened again, and in strode Jolene with Rhonda in tow. After a quick scan around the room, Thaddeus's sister met eyes with Ted and walked confidently towards the desk, ignoring all the heads that – while they didn't look up at the pair – were keenly aware of their presence.

Thaddeus stood as soon as the women were near, and almost swallowed his tongue when he saw Rhonda. Hair done up in a messy bun, a little makeup, and a simple white dress that reminded him of the night he first met her. Her silver pendant glittered both proud and bold against her throat in the office light. She blushed prettily under his gaze, moving over to stand by his side and take his hand.

"Ah, I see. Well, all that is left to make you a married woman, my dear, is a few signatures." Smiling with fatherly-like affection, Mr. Bailey turned the form so that the signature lines were facing the young people before him.

Sending a nervous glance at Thaddeus, she was relieved when he took the pen first and signed his name with a soft scratch.

Thaddeus Gammelthorpe

Gently she took the tool from his outstretched fingers, and clumsily held it in her hand as she did her best to write her own name.

Rhonda

Next to her Jolene penned her name with an elegant flourish on the first witness line, Ted sloppily on the second. Taking the form from them, Walter nodded and signed his own name with a quick scribble – elected officials didn't have the luxury of time for signatures.

"Now than, after the required six weeks have passed -"

Ted took a billfold out of his pocket and tossed a few bills onto the counter. Mr. Bailey looked at the money, then at Ted. Casually he leaned forward and picked up the currency, thumbing it and checking all pieces to make sure they were legitimate. Then, he pocketed the payoff and reached into the second drawer of his desk.

"So as I said earlier -" here he took out a large preset stamp and slammed into onto the form, causing most of his assorted desk trinkets and pens to jump. When he lifted the stamp, a large read AUTHORIZED was left in the final blank section.

"Congratulations! You're married. I'll have this form sent to our records department, where it will be filled out in triplicate. From there, we shall retain the original, while a copy will be sent to City Central for filing in their records department. The last ones will be sent to you in two to three weeks for your own records." Then as an afterthought he added "You may kiss your Bride."

Jolene squealed with joy as Thaddeus pulled his wife close and kissed her. Ted shook hands with Walt, who leaned in and whispered something into the young man's ear. The younger man seemed to pale, but then smiled disarmingly as Walt moved on to shake hands with Jolene, then the lucky couple.

As they made their way out of the office and into night to look for a good reception location, the wise guy couldn't get the warning out of his head.

"Beware the thing you seek for your master, dog. She's closer than she appears. Use your eyes to find the Swan."