Morning came too soon after being asleep without more nightmares but the bitch of nightmares was still to come, I had a session with her.
"Morning Fire Girl."
"I do have a name y'know."
"I like calling you that."
"Because you thing it comes with some semblance of distance in case I try to do something and you have to kill me. It won't work." I state matter of factly because I know it to be true for I have tried it many times.
"Get up. You have to get ready for you session."
I do so mutely, arguing will get me nowhere. I get dressed and am let out of the cage to brush my teeth, eat something and we're off.
Cato knocks on the door and I'm slowly inching towards the next hallway but unfortunately he notices and holds my arm. A gesture that is supposed to be trapping yet gives a small sense of comfort as if he is anchoring me. God I'm messed up.
Lost in my musings I don't hear the clicking of her high-heals but I do see her opening the door, there stands Alma Coin, in-house psychiatrist, interrogator and, as she likes to say it, person to come to in case of anything.
She leads us silently into the room then sits in her chair looking at me and Cato.
"Please Katniss sit." She nods her head to the sofa in front of her and I do as I'm told albeit begrudgingly.
"And you, Cato, I'm aware that you have to be here for this but please withdraw yourself to that corner over there, I won't need someone breathing down my neck. You'll still be able to listen to what we discuss but I'm warning you now that if you interfere with any of this you will be punished. If I require anything from you I'll say so. On this session and the ones to come."
"Understood."
Cato goes into the corner and Alma turns to me.
"Katniss."
"Alma."
"How have you been?"
"Fine. Yourself?"
"Lovely. I don't have a want of anything here in Division which boggles me why you left." Having said that she gets up. The nerve of that woman.
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me Katniss. I asked you why you left."
"Because you killed the man I loved!"
"I did no such thing. You did that by your actions to defy Division. The people who held your hand. You turned your back on every single one of us the second you chose to be with that boy."
"He has a name!"
"He had a name."
"Enough. Whatever it is you want to do just get it over with."
"Oh Katniss I didn't plan an agenda."
"Right, I'm sure. You have an agenda for everything. You are the queen of secret agendas."
"Katniss I never have an agenda when it comes to the well being of my recruits." The way she is smiling at me indicates the complete opposite, not like I didn't know better.
"I can see that talking, at least today, will get me nowhere so I'm going to take a different approach."
"So, what's it gonna be? Knives, needles, electroshock?"
"No, nothing like that."
"You won't get me to talk."
"I don't want you to talk, just watch and listen."
She pulls out a screen from one of the drawers and gets a remote.
"Cato?"
"Yes."
"I'm going to need you to sit by Katniss' side in case something happens."
"Very well."
He comes to sit by me. This is gonna be bad.
"The Inquisitor uh? This is gonna hurt."
"You have no idea."
She turns to the screen and fiddles with some cables while she talks.
"You know a young recruit of ours has done a lot of talking and right now, I just want you to listen." She turns the screen on and I can see that it's a debrief I had with Alma a few years back.
She had asked me about Peeta, what he was to me and I had lied. Said that I was doing it for the cover, that he was nobody because no one would believe the girl Division had created was single and that she had to understand that everything I did was in service to Division.
"We were always truthful with you about the rules here. Were you truthful with us?"
"I can tell you something true right now."
"Why don't you hold on to that thought? We're about to get to the best part."
She switches to another video one that had me and Peeta in bed in his house, me telling him that I had some trouble here and that I couldn't stay and Peeta saying that he's expected to just drop everything, get away from here and start a family somewhere else, somewhere new and just accepting it gladly. Embracing me and telling me he loved me and how he'd love to and when should we start. Alma stops the video there. I had tears streaming down my face by now.
"How could you? That was his home."
"Yes I guess you are right. We should have just trusted you." She replies sardonically. She continues even though I turn my face away no longer wanting to look at her. "We were the only real family you had and you betrayed us."
"You know this is really just the first of many interesting moments spent at the service of Division. Let's look at another." I finally look at her.
"Stop!" Tears were brimming my eyes and everything seemed blurry but I wasn't about to show her anymore weakness.
"I never lied to you Alma that was just my identity. You were never my family."
"We clothed you, fed you, taught you how to protect yourself."
"You taught me how to kill and then you forced me to do it."
"Katniss if it's a question of who sinned first we can always go back to the girl on death row. You were a killer before you came to us."
I know she is right but that is not something I like to think about so I get up.
"Am I allowed to leave?" I say through gritted teeth.
"Of course Katniss. I'll see you again in two days. Until then I believe you know your way back."
I don't say anything else merely walk away somewhat comforted at knowing that Cato is right behind me making our way back.
This was only the first of many but I can't help but thinking that the worst was still to come.
A/N: Please tell me what you think of the fic so far it would help immensely.