Sorry about the wait for everyone still reading. Had my holiday then I had work but I've finally found the time to sit down and write the chapter. I did enjoy writing this a lot and I had a lot of fun researching about Motocross too so hopefully it's accurate enough :) Enjoy the chapter!
The week went by and before Brittany knew it, she was in her tent getting ready for her race. Her agent, Tom, had sorted it all out for her and it was just a standard race that they had sometimes but the reward for winning was $500 which would definitely come in handy. She had practice every day at 5am so they could get her used to the track and also so Tom could time her at how fast she was but time wasn't an issue. It never was since she loved speed and the feeling of being out there on the track. Plus after Santana gave her the necklace she always wore it when racing to feel him with her. He said he would be at every race cheering her on and she always felt it. It always made her feel better.
She was standing in her suit that she wore for races holding her helmet underneath her arm before making her way to the entrance and exit of the tent to only find Santana walking in. She smiled putting her helmet down.
"Santana? What are you doing here?"
Santana shrugged her shoulders. "Well I thought I'd just come and see how you were. Plus Rachel, Quinn and your parents were getting on my nerves."
"Oh god, has mom started going on about how she has waited for this day since Zack passed?"
"No actually, but they are staring at the track as though it's going to get up and run away." Santana said with a chuckle."How are you feeling?"
Brittany nodded her head letting a smile form on her face. "I'm ready for this. It's something I love to do and I also feel Zack here with me because of the necklace you gave me for my birthday."
Santana lets a smile form on her face knowing she made the right decision on the gift she purchased for the blonde. It was nice knowing she was wearing the necklace which was what she wanted when she bought the present. She wanted to get something she would either wear or use and a necklace fit straight into that category. To see her wearing it just made Santana's heart swoon and to know she felt as though her brother was close by meant even more. She had never met Zack but she can imagine what he would look like at Brittany's age. She imagined the twins being inseparable, laughing together and chatting. She knew Brittany's life would be so much different if Zack didn't die, which might have meant not knowing her. But as she thought about it she'd do anything to make Brittany happy and if she could make it so her twin was alive she would but unfortunately she couldn't do that so the best she could do was stand by her side and support her.
"I'm glad you feel like that, Brittany." Santana said with a smile. "I know Zack would be very proud of you and I also know he'll be right in the stands watching you race today."
When Brittany doesn't think she can feel for Santana more than she already does, Santana proves her wrong. How can someone be so sweet and innocent but also at the same time have guts too? It's a very unlikely combination when she thinks about it but it doesn't bother her. Santana is just amazing and perfect so in a sense she's amazingly perfect. That's the right phrase to use at this moment.
Turning around Brittany moved towards the wall of the tent and took down her motocross gear which was hung up on the side waiting for her to put on. Her helmet on the other hand was with all of her other protective gear on the side. She looked up at the clock noticing that it wasn't long until she was due out so she stripped down to her underwear, not noticing an eye wide Santana behind her staring, before slipping on a top over her head putting on her chest and elbow protection. She always put a top on so that the chest protection didn't hurt her skin. It had never happened but she didn't particularly want it to either. She slipped her knee pads on and got her motocross pants and jacket on putting them over the top of her protective gear she already had on. Zipping up her jacket, she finally putting on her neck brace. A lot of the riders she knew didn't wear one but Brittany knew it was better to be safe than sorry and having to end up in a hospital bed for focusing more on looking cool than being safe. She wasn't stupid so she kept with the safe option.
Santana, on the other hand, was in her own little world standing there watching her. Brittany looked, honest to god, friggin sexy as hell. She hadn't seen her in her motocross gear before so to see her now standing right in front of her wearing it was a dream come true that she didn't even wish for. How can someone who looks so innocent turn hot in a matter of seconds? She watched as Brittany put on her boots walking over to where she was standing previously looking at me with a smile. That smile...I won't ever get tired of seeing it.
"You know I'm glad I'm doing this. It's the one thing that makes me happy more than anything and it lets me be free out there." Brittany explains with a smile before putting her gloves on starting to sign again. "And what's more is that my parents are here because of you. You're amazing you are."
"I just want to make you happy." Santana said honestly. "You mean everything and when you're happy I am so it's a win win."
"In your favor?" Brittany asks raising her eyebrow smirking.
"Duh." Santana laughed then walked over to the side picking up Brittany's helmet and goggles before standing in front of her with a loving smile. "You beat those idiots out there and show them what you're made of."
Brittany nodded smiling at the Latina taking them from her before Tom walks into the tent.
"You ready, Britt? The race is about to begin."
Brittany nods kissing Santana's cheek before walking away with Tom. She felt even more determination to beat everyone at the track today since her parents and friends were watching. She looked at the bike she was using and smiled. Wait, it can't be.
"This isn't...this is the Honda CRF 450R! This only came out this year!" Brittany exclaimed moving her hands over the bike looking up at Tom. "How the hell did you get this?!"
"It's yours Brittany." Tom said with a smile. "Have a seat and I'll show you all the controls."
Brittany smiled and was in complete awe. She had been looking at bikes online recently when she was about to go to sleep after texting Santana and she had seen this model and wished she could ride it with all its new features. It's the first motocross bike that has an engine mode select button so you could choose an engine based on the track conditions. It also has a new head and piston cylinder which helps the engine deliver more top-end power and rev as well as having piston heat treatment to help with durability. She hasn't even paying attention since she knew exactly what the controls were. She just couldn't believe she was sat on top of one right now. She felt as though she was dreaming and was going to wake up in her bedroom. She moved her hands over the body of the bike grinning.
"You get all that?" Mike asked with a smirk. "Do you need to be alone?"
"Shut up." Brittany smirked pulling back putting her goggles and helmet on. "I'll definitely win on this. Thank you so so much Tom! I owe you one."
"You owe me by winning. Go!"
Brittany grinned walking up to the track with her bike. She got into position and smirked to herself when she noticed all the other racers looking at the bike she was on. She looked over the track turning the engine to standard since it wasn't that bad of a track then revved the engine enjoying the sound of the engine. She looked ahead with determination just wanting to get going but not before glancing at all of the other racers. There were ten racing today and she knew there was no way she was losing. She saw the guy at the side with a gun that was going to start the race It wasn't a professional race so they didn't have the big starts like you see on TV and this is the best you can get but Brittany didn't mind. She loves any race no matter what stage so she revved the engine once more and twisted the throttle once the gun went off shooting forward on the bike with everyone else around her. This is the feeling she had missed and she was going to enjoy it.
Even though they were only in Ohio she could hear the commentary going off in the background but that was not her initial focus at the moment. She was just glad everyone would hear who won at the end, She moved around the first corner smoothly picking up some more speed before going over a few bumps on the track which caused her to go up in the air a few mines before landing and going down the track picking up speed but Brittany made sure to be going at a speed where she could slow down if needed. In this sport you needed a lot of focus and you had to know how to control your bike which, lucky for her, she knew how.
Brittany pulled the clutch down and moved her foot to change the gear before releasing the clutch again. She heard all of the other racers not far behind her but there was always that one racer when you're in the lead that you're up against and she was up against this guy who she knew had tried every year but never won which made his determination to win just as much as Brittany's , maybe even more. She wasn't going to let him get to her though. She had Santana, Quinn, Rachel, her parents and she was sure Zack was watching too and there was no way she was going to allow some guy to beat her. Not today. She was going to qualify and get through to the next race. She changed down a gear so she wouldn't move off of the track and went around the corner straightening up as she came off of it moving up a gear again speeding forward. She saw a hill in front and sped up even more going up in the air spinning the bike and herself in mid air before landing and shooting forward hearing cheers from the crowd.
She went around another corner and another straight afterwards keeping full control of the bike not wanting to fall down. She had enough practice through the years about what to do and what not to do so she knew she should be fine anyway It wasn't as though she was a beginner. She had at least ten years experience after all. It was actually a lot harder than what it looks like since you have to keep control, go around each corner without falling off the bike as well as coming down from jumps without falling too. It was quite difficult but she loved the challenge. When she was at school she had to suffer with school work due to her Dyslexia but out on the track she has skill and knew exactly what to do, and she knew very well that most people at school wouldn't even dare to try what she does on a regular basis. It made her proud of herself knowing she could do something not many other teenagers could.
Brittany made her way around the corners maneuvering through the track very easily. She had driven on harder tracks before since she remembers her dad took her when she was around eleven to one of the big race tracks and by god she loved it. Big hills, tight corners and it really made her try even harder to complete the track. By going on the track it helped her control too. They may not have spoken but she remembers hearing her dad cheer her on and Brittany think it's why she is kind of closer to her dad. He may not have tried speaking sign language but he still tried his damn hardest to be a dad. He had come into her room multiple times and tried to communicate and she couldn't be more grateful to the man for trying. Shaking her head out of her thoughts she heard another racer coming up close behind her. Seriously? Invading personal space much? Brittany picked up speed to widen the space between the two of them riding towards another hill. Brittany picks up speed changing to a higher gear jumping up into the air getting off of the bike holding onto the handles making people cheer again. She gets back on the bike before it hits the ground driving off.
She goes around a corner and drives ahead finishing a lap having two more to go. The drivers were quite far behind apart from one which was closing on her but that didn't bother her. She loved the competition so she kicked it up a notch going faster. The cheers she heard just made her want to finish first more than anything. Well, some cheers might not be for her but still. She can pretend that they were. She felt the guy behind her coming closer but she made sure he couldn't pass whilst turning the corner and driving ahead once more. She knew the driver behind her must be getting pissed with her but she didn't care. A race has a winner and the whole point of it is for someone to get to the finish line first and win the race. She smiled to herself then drove fast ahead leaving the other driver behind.
The rest of the race went by so fast that she was already on the last lap driving towards the finish line. She had been overtaken once already and she was not about to let that happen again. She looked ahead already seeing it and revved her engine going faster towards the finish. There were now two people catching up to her with one almost overtaking but she went around the two corners that were there before taking off forwards fast speeding towards the finish. A mile to go. Half a mile. She was almost there...almost...there! She sped over the finish line hearing a loud cheer from the stands. She turned around the bike coming to a stop taking the helmet off letting her hair free taking her goggles off too putting them onto a handle. She put the stand on the bike letting it stand alone once she had gotten off of it. She smiled when she heard the commentator call that she had won the race. She looked up and saw her parents along with Quinn and Rachel but Santana wasn't there. She was about to look around when a pair of arms flung around her neck hugging her tight. It shocked Brittany a little but when she noticed the body that was hugging her was Santana she wrapped her arms around her hugging her back lifting her off the ground spinning them around. She had always wondered what it was like to have someone do this with after a race and now she knew what it felt like she would have to do it more often.
Looking up at the stands she swore she saw a figure that looked like a young Zack Pierce but she shook it off as her imagination. Ghosts aren't real so why would she see him exactly? Brittany put down Santana looking at her noticing the look of adoration on her face. It made the butterflies in her stomach start to move.
"Brittany, you were amazing!" Santana exclaimed grinning at her. "All through the race you were just spectacular and I didn't know what to expect I mean I had researched it but I didn't know you were that good!"
"I have been doing motocross since I was four, San." Brittany said with a smirk. "I did tell you, well, I think I did. Did I tell you?"
"Hmm." Santana said thinking if she had or not and ended up shaking her head. "Nope you just told me that you did motocross."
"Oh, I thought I told you. Oh well, you know now." Brittany chuckled shrugging her shoulders. "Thank you for all the support you've given me."
"I'll always support you. I care about you and I happen to really like you."
Brittany looks at the brunette. What were they doing? They were practically girlfriend's but neither of them had asked the other out. What were they playing at? They were both gorgeous and either one of them could get a girlfriend or boyfriend so what was the hold up? Brittany knew Santana wanted to go at her pace so maybe she was waiting for her to ask. Maybe that was the reason behind not talking about it. It wouldn't surprise her since she was one to be quite dim-witted when it comes to noticing things. Should she be the one who asks?
"Santana, we have been kind of dancing around our feelings haven't we?" Brittany asks with a smile. "Don't you think we should just talk?"
"Is that your way of asking me out?" Santana asks with a raise of her eyebrow and a smirk.. "Are you asking me out Brittany Pierce?
"I don't need to because we are technically already dating. I am asking you if you would like to...officially...become my girlfriend." Brittany responds with a grin."I mean we both like each other, have been on a date and it's obvious we have chemistry."
"We do, I agree with that." Santana responds nodding her head with a smile. "I would love to be your girlfriend."
Grinning, Brittany leant down kissing Santana not being able to stop herself. She heard a lot of people surrounding them but she didn't care. She protectively pulled Santana closer holding her close whilst they shared a kiss together. She didn't know why but winning a race just gave her a rush of confidence she wouldn't normally feel. She pulled back and smiled at her girlfriend before pulling back and pulling her into her side. She felt Santana cuddle into her side and looked up to see camera's taking pictures of the two of them. She wasn't exactly happy about Santana getting brought into the pictures but she was happy she was by her side.
Tom walked up to the both of them and grinned at his client. He had never seen such good motocross racing before and it made him smile. He knew she was destined for greatness as cheesy as that sounded. He stopped next to the two girls after motioning the photographers to go elsewhere.
"Brittany that was fantastic!" Tom beamed clapping his hands together. "You qualify for the next race in a few months time. It's still not very big but its bigger than this one in Ohio."
"Where is it?" Brittany asks curiously pulling her arm away from Santana to sign. "Anywhere far?"
"It's still in the state of Ohio. This championship is all around the state of Ohio so it's not that far from home then if you win this championship you move up. Next race is in Columbus. Just over an hour and a half drive but since you're my client I'll set up the transport for you so you can bring whoever you want. Which I assume will be including your lovely lady friend here."
"Girlfriend actually." Santana corrected beaming happily. "I'm the girlfriend who is very proud of her."
"And you should be. Right , you'll be called up in a few minutes to get your money and trophy so listen out for that. I'll still be contacting you about practices too but apart from that, congratulations and enjoy the rest of your day. You deserve this." Tom said with a smile before walking off putting his phone to his ear.
Brittany was ecstatic and the net few hours were such a blur for her she could only remember glimpses. She remembered standing on the podium being given the winner's trophy and being given a check for five hundred dollars but after that it was just a big rush. She had photographers taking pictures, some people wanting a picture signed of her, which she did find rather odd since she wasn't famous or anything, as well as having someone try and interview her who looked like someone from the news, until they figured out she only spoke through sign. She didn't think the race was that big of a deal but apparently it must have been with the amount of people there were. Before she knew it her new bike was in a trailer being pulled by the car and they were on their way back to Brittany's house.
Xxxxxxxxxx
It's actually surprising how many people notice you when you do something they didn't think you would. Brittany had noticed people looking at her and smiling all day. It had been a few days since the race and students around school were acting like she had won an award or something. They didn't try and talk to her or come near her but she was glad that they didn't. She didn't want that and everyone knew by now how she reacted when people got too close. But the difference now was that they respected that. Santana nor Rachel had to say anything either. It was great to know she had people on her side and that they would stick up for her if needed. Santana especially wasn't shy on giving people a glare if they stood too close to them but Brittany just looked at her and secretly told her that it wasn't needed. Frankly ever since the race everything had been looking up.
Santana and Brittany's relationship had blossomed quite spectacularly. They walked one another to class, held hands and cuddled up to one another when they weren't in class and Brittany had even been comfortable kissing her in public a lot more. Brittany could tell she had been getting a lot better and she knew that it wouldn't be long until she could speak again. She wasn't rushing, of course, but she'd be lying if she said she wasn't eager. Brittany loved the times where they were alone at each other's houses though. She hadn't exactly 'met' Santana's parents and family but she had heard them from downstairs. Santana had told them how she wanted the meeting to be perfect and not by her just staying over so she refused her parents to introduce themselves. She thought Santana was actually really sweet with the gesture. She did love just laying in bed with Santana cuddling though. They didn't even have to say anything and Brittany would instantly feel relaxed just by feeling Santana trailing her finger over her arm. She couldn't ask for a better girlfriend and even if there was one on offer she wouldn't want them. Santana was her perfect girlfriend and she was all she wanted too.
Therapy had picked back up again too since she hadn't been that much over the past few weeks due to practices and school work but there was one she was going to today and she knew she couldn't miss it. Plus Santana and her parents knew about it and so did Rachel and Quinn so if she tried to skip they were there to tell her that she had to go. Of course, Brittany was still trying to change Santana's mind.
"But babe! I could spend the time with you. We could go get ice cream or go feed the ducks!"
Chuckling Santana kissed Brittany's nose. "As awesome as those things sound, you have therapy. We'll do those things after, okay? You haven't really been going much and I think going will help you."
"I have been going." Brittany signed looking at her girlfriend who raised her eyebrow at her as though silently asking, 'really? ' so Brittany shook her head in defeat. "Fine, I haven't. The last time I went was when I spoke to him about Zack and he helped me."
"Any reason why you haven't been?" Santana asked curiously. "You've always told me going is the best thing to do."
"You help me. What more do I need? You've helped me loads so maybe I don't need the therapist after all."
Sighing she shrugged her shoulders moving her blonde hair to one side laying on one shoulder. She didn't really know why she hadn't been going actually since Dr Parker had done so much for her. She honestly thought that maybe it was just Santana making her feel better but, of course, she knew it wasn't. She had the therapist help her with decisions she was struggling with and he explained things to her as well. She was probably drawn back after the Zack fiasco the sessions just came to a stop which wasn't exactly good.
"You do need the therapist babe. I'm only part of the equation and your therapist is the other half."
"I just don't like the atmosphere in the room when I do go into the room. I don't like all the questions and the therapist asking all about my life. I just don't like that." Brittany explained sighing in frustration. "And on top of therapy I have all the work that Sadie gives me to do that I still have yet to do. She's understanding to a certain extent but if I don't do enough she can still get pissed at me for it."
Santana smirked at her girlfriend. It wasn't often that Brittany did swear, well, at least in front of her but when she did it still shocked her due to the fact that it wasn't expected. When she looked at her she just didn't expect to see her sign swear words. She smiled at her shaking her head in amusement at that before looking up to see Brittany actually looking upset. She knew she could help by maybe going to therapy with her but was that really logical? They had only been dating a few days and now that they were official didn't mean she was supposed to be with her all the time, as much as she wanted to be. Maybe she could suggest it though. No harm, right?
"Babe just calm down and listen to me, alright?" Santana requested. She waited for Brittany to nod her head before taking a breath and continuing. "Okay, so I know we haven't been dating long, and therapy is a big deal for you since you have to talk about personal things, but what if I came along? I mean I could even just wait outside until you finish if you don't want me in the room, but it could help, you know?"
Brittany nodded her head and thought about the concept. Santana had been on her side since the beginning; helping her and being her friend as well as understanding the way she was as a person. Apart from Rachel, there was no one she trusted more. She didn't know exactly what she thought about Santana coming along but there was one thing she did know. She felt safe around Santana and it had crossed her mind before. Why should she say no?
But then again there was the fact that yes it was a big deal because it was therapy. Was she ready to have Santana join her in therapy? She knows that Santana wouldn't judge her but she's pretty sure Rachel would have something to say about it for definite. She didn't know what to think but Santana did say she wouldn't mind sitting in the waiting room. Maybe that was an option.
"Can you come along...but like...wait in the waiting room?" Brittany asked. "I'm still going by what I wanted and doing the therapy alone, but it would be nice knowing you are on the other side of the door if I need you."
"Brittany I told you after you touched me for the first time that I would support you through it all and I'm not breaking that promise." Santana said with a smile on her lips. "By the way I am shocked that you know swear words in sign language."
Brittany just smirked at Santana. "Well what can I say? I'm not as innocent as you might think."
Santana eyes widened feeling her core tingle. Wait, why was she even thinking like that?! Brittany might be her girlfriend but of course she didn't mean not as innocent in that perspective. Christ, what was she thinking? Santana just blushed and looked down before she heard Brittany laugh and it sent warmth through her body. She loved Brittany's laugh and he smile as well as, well, everything. She has yet to find a fault in Brittany. Most likely because she doesn't have any faults since she is the definition of perfection as anyone a mile away could see. She might be biased due to the fact that they were dating but she didn't think that was the reason. She just thought the blonde was perfect.
She felt Brittany tilt her head up and was met with bright blue ocean eyes. She loved her eyes the most since she got to look at them all the time without needing a reason. Who would need a reason to look into those eyes if Brittany gave them permission?
"Stop thinking so much. I miss your voice when you think." Brittany stated honestly with a smile. "I like your voice."
Santana smiles. "I'm sure I will like yours when I eventually hear it too."
Looking back, Brittany gives her a sad smile. "You think I'll be able to talk to you for real one day?"
"I believe you will, babe." Santana responded smiling before giving her a small kiss on the cheek. "Do you believe that? Because you should."
"I do!" The blonde insisted. "I just...I wish I didn't have this problem."
"Okay, you listen to me Brittany Pierce. What you have isn't a 'problem' as you so call it. Your selective mutism happened from a shock because you saw your brother after he was killed. That is not your fault. It is the person who caused your brother to be found like that!" Santana snapped raising her voice a little but lets out a breath noticing Brittany's reaction. She had never raised her voice at Brittany before but hearing her say that about herself just...it got to her. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have snapped at you."
"No, you shouldn't have." Brittany agrees nodding her head watching Santana's face form a guilty look. "But I understand why you said it and I'm sorry for calling my mutism a problem. It's just...you don't understand what it's like, San. Not being able to communicate with a lot of people is hard. You don't realize how hard it is until you go through it like I have for the past ten or so years. I'm seventeen now and I haven't spoken since I was six so that's a long time to not talk to anyone."
Santana nods her head. She wasn't able to understand Brittany because she was able to communicate with whoever she wanted but Brittany wasn't. She couldn't just go up to whoever she wanted and start a conversation so she could only imagine what frustrations it must bring out of Brittany. She wanted to understand, of course she did, but the fact of the matter was that she couldn't understand and she never would. What she could do, however, was be there for her and like she had promised her, she would be there every step of the way no matter how hard it was. She could never just leave her alone. She cared about her too much and was now in too deep to quit or to want to quit for that matter. She wouldn't even if she wanted to because Brittany needed support from everyone around her.
"Brittany, I will admit I don't understand what you are going through. How can I when I am able to talk to others and I have never had the problem of being afraid to go out in public places? But what I can tell you is that by just being around you I can sort of understand why you feel the way you do. You get upset and frustrated because communication is difficult for you. You can't just go out and talk to others and you can't make friends easily but I want you to understand something and listen to me, okay?"
Brittany looked at the girl in front of her and nodded her head. "I'm listening."
"You have a reason for being the way you are. You have had a tough past and yes, I will never feel what you did and I can't even begin to imagine how you felt at that time or at any time where it was difficult." Santana began to explain before taking Brittany's hand into her own. "But what I can do is promise you that I will be here by your side from now on. I want to be there to help and support you. You mean the world to me and nothing anyone says will make me change my opinion of you."
Brittany felt her lip quiver as she started to feel her eyes water. "You really mean that?"
"I mean every single word I say to you. Unless we get into an argument and I say something I regret then feel free to ignore that." Santana responded with a cheesy grin. "So...are we good?"
"Yeah, we're good."
Brittany lets out a breath nodding finishing her signing before moving her arms around Santana burying her face into her neck. She knew she had a way to go yet but she didn't mind. Santana was everything to her which also included her girlfriend. She finally had a girlfriend and yes, she hadn't dated before but she was enjoying the company Santana gave her. She knew Santana had probably dated others in the past too, but she didn't think about that. Santana was now hers and if she could, she would. She definitely would saying that, but for now they were just content on being together and enjoying each other's company.
Saying how much she could touch Santana now, it had gotten to a point where she didn't even need to think about it and it was one of the reasons she didn't want to go to therapy since she knows he'll say something about it being temporary and freak her out. She doesn't want that. She just wants to be happy and move forward instead of looking into the past like she had been doing for years. It was time she moved forward from everything and Brittany knew that was what Zack would want. He would want her to be happy with Santana, so maybe it's time she did what she had to do to move on.