Hey guys so I thought I posted this in november. But I guess I didn't. So um here it is. Hope you enjoy.
Hey guys so for those of you who celebrate thanksgiving happy holiday gift and for those who don't happy Thursday. I'm really sorry for abandoning you guys so for all my fanfics I'm updating all of them. So enjoy and yes Zantanna will be here.
Maleena: Hey so for today we will be doing BATMAN VS CAPTIN ( FREAKING ) AMERICA
Maleena: Let it roll
Wiz: Throughout the underworld of Gotham City, one name strikes fear in the cold, black hearts of even the most hardened Criminals. The Batman.
Boomstick: But becoming a six-foot flying Rat of Vengeance comes at a cost, for 8 year old Bruce Wayne, it was helplessly watching as his parents were gunned down in front of him on the way back from the Theatre, That poor kid... that Opera really must have scarred him.
Maleena: wait how did they know that
Robin: That explains why he took me in
Boomstick: And we're positive he's not Superhuman.
Kid flash: yeah that's what I thought at first too.
Wiz: Having been trained by The League of Assassins, Batman's greatest weapon is Fear.
Kaldur: Wait I thought he didn't kill
Boomstick: But then he restarted it because he's nice like that, Bane later said "Thank You" the only way he knew how.
Zantanna: That's why I'm glad I have magic, lets me save from a distance
Boomstick: Oh yeah, because that makes it SOOO much less ridiculous.
Artimis: If Batman really did that then he deserves All of his fans
Wiz: Batman also carries Explosive Gel, A cluster of this substance can be sprayed onto nearly any surface and remotely detonate, perfect for distractions.
Boomstick: Or you know... BLOWING SHIT UP! Tempered Criminals, if you know Batman's after you, Avoid anything shaped like a Bat
Conner: If bat says he doesn't kill then I want an explonation for this
Boomstick: And even fewer Muscles, Good God is that Steve Rogers or Jack Skellington?! Somebody get that kid a sandwich!
Wiz: Desperate to combat this new threat, Uncle Sam began the top secret "Project Rebirth", it looked like Rogers would finally get his chance to be the hero after all, provided he survived an untested, unstable, unprecedented experience.
M'gan: He's so brave
Maleena: Forgive me if I'm wrong but since when did you become boy crazy
M'gan: You see him in magazines
Maleena: yeah okay point
Boomstick: After an injection of some mystery juice and tanning in Vita-Rays, Rogers lived! And as a plus became a Nazi Annihilating, Terrorist Thrashing symbol of freedom... Captain America! 'MERICA!
(Gunfire sounds as a Bald Eagle flies by while Confetti and Fireworks go off):
Conner: I wish it was this black and white.
Boomstick: A homeless guy sold me a Super Serum once, I woke up in Denny's a week later without my wallet...
Robin: Gotta see who the scamers are
Boomstick: He can even dodge gunfire at point-blank range, by in his own words "Seeing Faster".
Zantanna: That's it I have some government agents to spy on
Maleena: When this is over
Wiz: The US Army Poster Boy.
Boomstick: That suit looks like it was ripped from a Patriotic Circus.
Wiz: It was...
Artimis: Eh not the weirdest way to find a costume
Boomstick: What kind of circus would make a costume with Kevlar, Nomex and Lightweight Titanium that's resistant to Water, Fire and Electric Shocks?
Wiz: Some call it World War II.
Boomstick: Oh... I get it.
Kaluder: I do not understand
Maleena: Ask Batman I think he knows something
Kaluder: Okay
Boomstick: WAIT, GO BACK TO THAT SECOND ONE! DID THIS GUY JUST KICK THE HULK IN THE DICK?! YOU GOT TO BE A REAL MAN TO GIVE THE GREEN GOLIATH A NUT CHECK, I MEAN THAT'S THE FASTEST WAY TO PISS OFF A DUDE AND WHO DON'T WE LIKE WHEN THEY'RE ANGRY?! Balls of steel right there, great big eagle-shaped freedom balls of steel.
Wally: Damn and they say I have an ego problem
Me: ITS TIME FOR A DEATHBATTLE
Cap starts pummeling Batman with punches and kicks (due to his knowledge of pressure points and his study of different martial arts), but Batman starts avoiding the attacks, and counters.
Robin: This isn't gonna end well for cap
Batman throws some Batarangs, but said weapons are deflected, and Cap throws his shield again. Batman dodges it and shoots his grappling hook from his grapple gun in an attempt to pull Cap towards him. But Cap catches the grappling hook with his hand and his shield bounces of a wall hitting Batman in the head.
M'gan: Oh bats
Batman activates the shock gloves, which are useless against the shield. Cap pushes Bats back, only for Bats to spread Smoke Bombs along the floor.
Wally: Oh damn its close NOT
Captain America: Lets finish this. Hyper...!
Kaulder: What was he going to say
Before Cap can regain his senses, Batman knocks Cap into the sky, and uses his grappling hook to grab Cap by the neck. Cap is jerked down, and the hook wraps around a lamp post, breaking the Star Spangled Hero's neck instantly as he hangs above the street.
Artimis: Oh that's embarissing
Boomstick: I pledge allegiance to the Cap, hanging miserably from the Lightpost.
Zantanna: That's kinda funny
Boomstick: Captain America just couldn't hang in there.
Wiz: The winner is Batman.
Maleena: That's it a
