Disclaimer: Not mine. Eoin Colfer owns it all.
"The first female in Recon," groaned the commander.
"You're going to wash out in six months," continued Root, "and probably cost me a fortune." – page 73 of The Artemis Fowl Files
0o0o0o0
Police Plaza, Haven City; The Lower Elements.
Trouble Kelp, one major gung ho Captain in the LEPrecon force had arrived to work on this fine sunny day (based off the lighting strips, of course, they were underground after all) ready to get into the swing of things. If Kelp had been less of a jock and more of a jolly sort of fellow he might have even been whistling. But he arrived to work tune free thankfully and reported into his commanding officer.
Sadly, Root was in a foul mood and believed that his officers should be as miserable as him and quickly sent him off to his office to finish up a few small mountains worth of paperwork. Paperwork was of course the bane of all good officers who were itching for a little bit of fieldwork each and every day of their lives. Trouble was no different.
Sadly, it looked like his day would not be getting any more exciting anytime soon. After all there were a stack of tickets and warrants he had to sort through to send off to his commander, badly written field reports that needed revising, and other various menacing stacks just taunting him with their…very being.
But he didn't really have a choice in the matter, so he hunkered down and started to slog though the smallest stack on his desk. After he finished the first stack (in what amounted to be a ridiculously long amount of time) he had no choice but to move on to the next stack. He was really going to have to learn to not procrastinate on his paper work.
It was in the middle of his third stack of papers that he stumbled upon his badly doodled on calendar that his mother had sent to both him and Grub earlier that year.
Grub was known to use his calendar faithfully for notes and appointments (he was quite pleased with his mommy's gift, and made sure to let everyone know) Trouble…well not so much. In fact, besides a few sketches and scratches that passed for words, there were only two dates circled to be of any real importance on his calendar.
'Oh Frond,' thought Trouble to himself, quickly abandoning any of his paper work in favor of the two LEP green circles on his much abused and forgotten calendar, 'is my day looking up or what?'
0o0o0o0
A Dark Slimy Tunnel
The young, relatively new, and most importantly the only female on the force was having and even worse day than Trouble was having before he discovered his old calendar. Captain Holly Short was currently slinking out of a darkened tunnel back wards with her hands firmly clasped around her rear. The ringing sounds of her fellow officers' laughter following her and ruining her concentration as she firmly wished herself invisible. The poor elf.
She had been assigned with a small squad of officers to sweep a set of abandoned tunnels. There had been recent reports of possible troll activity in the area. Captain Short and four other officers had been the lucky ones to go and investigate the reports. Hey, it beat sitting in the office and fighting through the piles of paperwork. Well at least it did before she unwittingly leaned up against a swear toad's hidey hole in one of the tunnels slimy walls. The nasty little bastard hopped out and sank its teeth right into Holly's backside. The resounding yelp and locker room swearing following this lost the squad any stealth they may have had before.
(See the thing about swear toads is this: a) they have teeth unlike their Mud Toad counterparts above ground. b) Magical healing does not work instantly when bitten by one of these buggers due to special mucus in their mouths. c) their bites cause painful swelling, along with ridicule and laughter from peers lucky enough to witness the spectacle.)
Holly whipped out her Neutrino 1000 and aimed it at the offending toad.
" D'Arvit." The toad croaked looking up into the barrel of the furious Captain, "bloody 'ell"
"Hey, Captain, sir, do ya need some help there?" asked on of the other fairies on the force a rather beefed up looking sprite called Coulter. One of his buddies's smirked and slugged the tip of his wing in a joking manner before joining in.
"Right, sir, we all understand how terrible swear toads are compared to the possibility of a troll attack."
"Thanks, Corporal, I think I got it covered." Holly snarled back at the offending officer. That sir comment always made her furious. Usually she could handle it by simply beating everyone's flight records and arrests…today though...
"Hell no," the toad croaked.
"D'ARVIT!" Holly and the toad managed to snarl/croak at the same time before…well lets just say the helpless toad never stood a chance against the Neutrino 1000 that had just fired.
The wincing Captain holstered her Neutrino and attempted to storm past her fellow officers. However the bite, now painfully swelling affected her walking so it really didn't look very scary or even furious, just pathetic.
The four other fairies were now doubled over gasping for air in between their jokes and jibes aimed at their lady Captain.
'By Frond and the Book', she vowed silently as she limped out of the tunnel, 'I'm going to make them pay.'
0o0o0o0
"Hey Troub, did you hear…?" began Grub sidling up to his older brother in the hall way as Trouble made his way down to the centaur technician Foaly's office.
"What is it this time, Grub?" He mumbled not really planning on listening to the long litany of items that would surely follow his question.
Sure enough Grub began to complain about the newest secretary pixie on his floor, what he had for breakfast, the elf that had asked him to shut up about his mommy and it seemed to go on and on.
And then Grub mentioned one interesting thing, almost as an after thought.
"…blue radio active ice cream…oh, and the girly Captain Bolly, Holly somethin' got bitten by a swear toad and according to Coulter she's bound to just get up and quit by the end of the day." Grub finished off, failing to see that his older brother had stopped dead in the middle of the hallway. Grub walked right into his brother and went sprawling onto the rather dirty hallway.
"Ouch, Trouble I'm telling mommy….now my shin hurts…and I'm going to have to wash this uniform now."
Trouble stood still for a second completely failing to notice his brother whining on the floor until he had fully processed what his brother had said. Holly. Short. Was. Quitting.
This wasn't good. Not good at all. This could not be right. He had to go talk to that fiery female recon jock right this instant.
He was off running in the direction of Holly Short's office leaving his bewildered little brother in his wake.
If you couldn't tell this is set in the pre-Artemis days….the exactish time frame will come later.
So be kind and review and feel free to tell me anything you think. Criticism that is constructive is always most welcome.